I’m a pretty funny guy. Not because I have good one-liners, but because funny stuff seems to happen to me on a regular basis.
Yesterday, while taking advantage of suddenly sunny weather after a few days of downpour, I was about to hit a five-iron across the creek on the 9th hole at Salmon Run Golf Course in Brookings, Oregon. Bad golfer that I am, I realized I should hit a six-iron instead to give me a chance to get over some trees in front of the creek. So I ran back to my cart over the rain-soaked fairway, then slipped and took a backwards swan dive into a big puddle of water and mud.
I was so wet I could hardly walk. Nevertheless I went back to my ball and promptly wacked it into a tree, from where it dropped into the creek.
Fortunately, I had an extra pair of pants and shirt in my truck, so was able to change in the club’s locker room. I also retrieved my cleated golf shoes, which I had neglected to put on for the first nine holes, then played five more holes before it got dark.
On the way home I stopped at Fred Meyer and bought a bag of 75 golf balls for $28. I had lost 20 balls on the course, and the retarded state of my game necessitates I buy balls that cost thirty seven cents each.
Today I’m going back to Salmon Run to see what hilarities lay in wait for me. If you ever play golf there, or at Cedar Bend in Gold Beach, and find a cheap ball marked with the letters “DUF,” you’ll know a very funny guy lost it.
“. . . More than half of the $9 trillion in debt that Uncle Sam is expected to build up over the next decade will be interest.
More than half. In fact, $4.8 trillion.
If that’s hard to grasp, here’s another way to look at why that’s a problem.
In 2015 alone, the estimated interest due – $533 billion – is equal to a third of the federal income taxes expected to be paid that year . . .”
I wonder if emigration from America to more financially stable countries is going to increase over the next several years? China might be a good place to go. Just kidding! I think Americans will stay put, but we are going to be in for one hell of a financial awakening in a few years.
Stock your pantry and stack your ammo! You’re probably going to need both.
CNN today carried a story titled, Palin slams ‘sexist’ Newsweek cover. The Newsweek cover shows how the mainstream media subtly distorts the debate about Sarah Palin by simply choosing a photo that emphasizes her sexy look. It’s a subtlety that Newsweek and CNN have mastered over the years. To distort truth or meaning, you don’t have to outright lie; you merely have to shift emphasis of a headline, a photo, or a few sentences.
Like Sarah Palin, I am not surprised. I’ve written about the prejudice of the mainstream media against conservatives and Libertarians for many years. This is just the latest example. Over the years CNN itself has been very prejudiced against conservatives and Libertarians, and very clever and subtle with how they display their prejudices.
But the world is catching on. There is a reason why news organizations are losing revenue, laying off their reporters at a record pace, and heading for the ash bin of history. Newsweek’s cover is part of that reason.
Matt and Robby use indoor golf range they helped build at the BHM office out of a discarded fishing gill net. They are using a video system to record and playback their swings so they can analyze them.
We’ve finished deadline for the Jan/Feb issue so I’m back to the Gold Beach Youth Golf Team. We meet at my office, which has been converted to the golf club, this afternoon to discuss the winter schedule. Right now it’s raining most days and it gets dark about 5 pm, so it doesn’t leave a lot of room for golf outside. The kids built an indoor range out of an old discarded ocean fishing gill net in one of the BHM storerooms, so we have a rainy-day place to practice. Through donations the club purchased a used video system so we can record, then analyze the kids’ swings.
Two people have taken me up on my appeal for donations of golf clubs in my Oct. 15 post. If anyone else has clubs they no longer use, we’ll put them to good use. I’ll pay the Fed-Ex charges. Just e-mail me (dave at backwoodshome.com) with your mailing address and I’ll ship you a pre-paid mailing label so you can FedEx the items to us. If they are real good clubs, we’ll even pay you for them, but we can’t afford much.
Lisa with prepaid FedEx ticket. We'll send you one if you have golf equipment to donate.
You can also help out the youth team by buying a golf shirt I designed. I talk about it in my upcoming editorial in the Jan/Feb issue. It costs $30, but it’s high quality — 65 percent poly and 35 percent cotton that would sell for about $35 at a golf pro shop. I’ll not only send you the shirt, but I’ll also send you a free, autographed copy of my book, Can America Be Saved from Stupid People, and our little U.S. Constitution book. The offer isn’t online yet (I’ll have the webmaster do so soon) so you’ll just have to call the office at 1-800-835-2418 to order. Here’s what the shirt looks like:
The golf shirt has the Backwoods Home logo (embroidered) on the left breast.
For those of you wondering if government-controlled health care means that government may someday decide old people are expendable because it is cheaper to deliver health care to younger, healthier people, here’s food for thought:
Today, after learning my local health department now has swine flu vaccine for adults with certain conditions like asthma and heart disease, I decided to get a shot because I have heart disease, having had heart bypass surgery. So I called the health department to find out when I could come down for a shot.
“How old are you?” the health worker asked.
“Sixty five,” I said.
“You’re not eligible,” she said. “The cutoff is age 63.”
So there you have an indication of what is in the future. There is now enough vaccine for all the children, pregnant women, and adults “who qualify,” but because swine flu vaccine is government-controlled, bureaucrats have decided my age has disqualified me.
Late last night Lenie made a delicious Eggplant Parmesan with chicken as part of her “Lenie in the Kitchen” column for the upcoming issue, No. 121. It was so delicious that I was eating it at midnight.
But this morning, middle son, Robby, who is 16 and normally blessed with discriminating taste, passed on this marvelous dish in favor of a package of Rice a Roni.
“Are you kidding!” I pleaded. “This Parmesan dish is delicious!”
“This is good too, Dad!” he said matter-of-factly.