A funny guy playing golf
I’m a pretty funny guy. Not because I have good one-liners, but because funny stuff seems to happen to me on a regular basis.
Yesterday, while taking advantage of suddenly sunny weather after a few days of downpour, I was about to hit a five-iron across the creek on the 9th hole at Salmon Run Golf Course in Brookings, Oregon. Bad golfer that I am, I realized I should hit a six-iron instead to give me a chance to get over some trees in front of the creek. So I ran back to my cart over the rain-soaked fairway, then slipped and took a backwards swan dive into a big puddle of water and mud.
I was so wet I could hardly walk. Nevertheless I went back to my ball and promptly wacked it into a tree, from where it dropped into the creek.
Fortunately, I had an extra pair of pants and shirt in my truck, so was able to change in the club’s locker room. I also retrieved my cleated golf shoes, which I had neglected to put on for the first nine holes, then played five more holes before it got dark.
On the way home I stopped at Fred Meyer and bought a bag of 75 golf balls for $28. I had lost 20 balls on the course, and the retarded state of my game necessitates I buy balls that cost thirty seven cents each.
Today I’m going back to Salmon Run to see what hilarities lay in wait for me. If you ever play golf there, or at Cedar Bend in Gold Beach, and find a cheap ball marked with the letters “DUF,” you’ll know a very funny guy lost it.
