Billy Barkley's dogs bad day

[bugscufle]

It's been a while since Curtis Lee Cottontail left us. But he certainly changed some lives around here. I'll bet there's not an herbivore in Llano County that has not heard of Curtis Lee. I doubt that there is one silvilagus audubonii in the whole Texas Hill Country that couldn't tell the whole story of Curtis Lee, and then add a half of their own. (After all, these are Texas cottontail rabbits).

It is a local sylvilagus family distinction to say that one's grandparents personally knew Curtis Lee. I've heard it said that if mama cottontails are having trouble getting obtuse bunnies to come in for the day, they will say, "Okay, we'll just start the story of Curtis Lee without you." That always gets everyone inside in a hurry. Of course parents are then oblidged to tell the story of Curtis Lee for the umpteenth time with on the spot corrections, but it is a story they they themselves never seem to tire of telling or hearing.

What? You say you've never heard of Curtis Lee? Well, you just get a cushion and have a seat. I'll tell the story just as it was told to me. Curtis Lee lived not far from here, just over on the other side of Magill Mountain.

Curtis Lee was born under a clump of diospyros texana, (Texas wild persimmon), not far from where the spring at the beginning of Willow creek used to be. Curtis Lee was not at all well thought of when he was younger. Curtis Lee's tail was too big and his ears were too big. Not so much that you or I could tell, but among sylvilagus audubonii, appearance was very important, and those whose appearance was too different often had lots of time to themselves.

Well, Curtis Lee didn't spend his time trying to change himself to please others, or others to please him. Rather, Curtis Lee spent his time watching and learning and laughing to himself about odd things that he observed. Local audubonii commented more than once that Curtis Lee saw humor at the most inappropriate times.

The event for which Curtis Lee is most famous, occurred on the last day day of summer. In 1990-something. I forget the exact year, but it is one on your right hand.

The previous two years had been very dry ones. There had been a prairie fire that had only been narrowly escaped. Getting food always meant taking risks. Sometimes, the consequences were tragic. Not one sylvilagus family had escaped losing a member to owls, Grandpa rattlesnake, Miss Melba's cats, or Billy Barkley's dogs.

No danger quite matched Billy Barkley's dogs. Billy Barkley's dogs were almost as mean as he was. Billy raised them to make money from them fighting and killing their own kind. The only approval they ever got from Billy was when they did someting mean and vicious. Billy was supposed to keep his dogs penned, but they always seemed to get out, and when they did, something always died.

Curtis Lee had come out early that day and was making the long, dangerous trip to the dried up spring to try to find something green to eat. He was a little over halfway there when he heard a noise that gave him the shivers. It was Billy Barkley's dogs.

Curtis Lee listened and sniffed. The dogs were coming from Willow Creek, about two hundred yards away. Curtis Lee listened and sniffed some more. They were headed for Rabbit Town Thicket.

Curtis Lee knew that he could make it back to the warren in time. Curtis Lee also knew that families were just now coming out. If Billy Barkley's dogs arrived at Rabbit Town Thicket, it would be a disaster. Curtis Lee felt really helpless, as he had at many times before.

Curtis Lee sat there just asking himself over and over, "What can just one cottontail rabbit do?" Then for almost no reason at all, he noticed the tragia ramosa (noseburn plant) just a few inches away. Barkley's dogs barking again startled him. Curtis Lee thought about the dog's noses sniffing the ground for a scent. His scent. Then he thought the dog sniffing ramosa. Curtis Lee smiled.

Curtis Lee slowly got next to the ramosa and carefully brushed his tail back and forth on the ramosa. Curtis Lee continued to ask himself over and over, "What can just one cottontail rabbit do?" Only now it was with determination instead of desperation.

[bugscufle]

It was Billy's dog, Whiskey, who first picked up Curtis Lee's scent. He gave a bark identifying an intended victim and the others came to determine the kind of victim and the direction.

The trail led across a corner of the Toliver Place. Sticker grass doesn't compete well with other local grasses and wildflowers. But mowing gives fast growing sticker grass a chance to succeed against larger, but slower growing grasses and wildflowers. The Toliver's constant mowing gave them the best cenchrus incertus (sticker grass) stand around. The dogs in their excitement, paid almost no attention to the dried grass sticker spires around them as they raced to close whatever gap might be between them and Curtis Lee.

The trail led to a stand of helianthus paradoxus (Pecos sunflower). From the middle of the sunflowers the trail seem to lead everywhere. It was uncomfortable and painful for the dogs crashing around the sticky and hard stalks. At this time, five of the seven dogs noticed that they had stickers in the paws.

Norther, who did not have a sticker, picked up the scent again and was off. The others, wanting to be first to the prey, were soon close behind with stickers still in their paws.

Norther was the first to reach the tragia ramosa. It took Norther too long to figure out that his nose was touching something it shouldn't. The stinging started and did not subside.

Cigarettes led the six other dogs through a reemerging Prosopis glandulosa (mesquite tree) area on old man Cheatum's place. He had moved to the country and decided he would cut all the mesquite down. Well, as everyone but old man Cheatum knew, mesquite has unique, Hydra-like qualities--you cut one of anything on a mesquite tree and you get two back. Although the branches were only three to four feet high they had full-size thorns which punished the fast moving dogs. Not only is the mesquite thorn sharp, but as Curtis Lee knew, the mesquite plant puts a substance on the tip to make it hurt even more.

Cigarettes lost the scent, but the dogs worked hard to find it again. Darth was next to get the scent and was the first to reach urtica dioica (stinging nettle). The strong scent right next to plant left Darth with the same learning experience as Norther. Cruncher and Nator almost tied for second and third at the nettle plants, but Nator was going so fast he knocked Cruncher into a nettle plant which burned Cruncher around the eyes.

Even with his nose stinging Norther picked up the scent again which led to another tragia ramosa. Norther was no dummy. He kept his nose inches away trying to figure out why this plant had such a strong scent while his hind legs kept his rear end moving back and forth. What Norther did not observe was that his rear legs kept disturbing a Solenopsis invicta (fire ant) bed.

At this time Curtis Lee was sitting and panting in an open area. The chase seemed have been going on forever. He was thirsty and tired. The dogs were getting ever closer to him, but ever farther away from Rabbit Town Thicket.

The rest of this story is just as it was reported by Napoleon Mimus Polyglottos, (mockingbird). He was there and saw the whole thing.

Rambo picked up the scent and it led him to where Curtis Lee had just been sitting and sweating. Rambo inspected it closely. Just to the side of a little hole in the ground. Nothing dangerous about that. Unless, of course, that was the home of a nest of vespula pensylvanica (yellowjackets). Which to Rambo's great misfortune, it was. The hole instantly became an automatic weapon shooting yellowjackets. They stung him on the mouth, nose and around his eyes before he knew what happened.

Now it was about this time, while in full stride, that Norther noticed that about a dozen or so fire ants were biting him on the inside of both hind legs. He just dropped to the ground and started making futile attempts to pick away the ants with his teeth.

Curtis Lee was panting even harder now. He was in the middle of a an area overgrown with smilax rotundiflora (greenbrier). Earnhardt picked up the scent and was the first to crash into the sticky thicket. All the other dogs followed except Norther who stayed back and was still trying to pick stinging fire ants with his teeth.

Everywhere the dogs turned they were punctured. Especially from the hard thorns on the dead vines. The more agitated the dogs got, the more they were wounded. The more they got wounded, the more they were agitated.

Rambo, whose eyes were swelling shut from the yellow jacket stings, was overwhelmed and just sat down in the thicket.

It was Nator who first spied Curtis Lee on the other side of Cruncher. Curtis Lee made a run for it and Nator gave chase. Unfortunately, Nator knocked Cruncher into some more thorns.

[bugscufle]

Earnhardt was the first to crash out of the thicket about ten yards behind Curtis Lee. Curtis Lee knew he just had seconds. There was a large clump of opuntia englemannii (prickly pear cactus) about ten yards in front of him. If there was any hope at all, he would have to get to the clump before Earnhardt got to him.

Curtis Lee made the clump of cactus about two yards ahead of Earnhardt. *Unfortunately for Curtis Lee, Grandpa Rattlesnake, all six feet of him, was coiled up where Curtis Lee was planning to go. *Now Curtis Lee could have frozen in fear and that would have been the end of it. *Nobody would have blamed Curtis Lee, after all he was a cottontail rabbit and cottontail rabbits do freeze in fear. * His efforts would have been both commendable and memorable. *What cottontail rabbit had ever taken on seven fighting dogs?

Curtis Lee thought of none of these things, *He saw an opening between two cactus pads and dove for it.

When Earnhardt arrived a split second later diving for Curtis Lee, Grandpa Rattlesnake, although confused, was cocked and ready. * Grandpa Rattlesnake bit Earnhardt on the left shoulder. *Earnhardt instinctively turned and clamped down on Grandpa Rattlesnake and starting slinging him violently back and forth until Grandpa Rattlesnake went limp.

Each dog took his turn sniffing and barking at Grandpa Rattlesnake's post mortum movement. *But a breeze brought Curtis Lee's scent to Cigarettes and she became aware of the sticker in her foot and the punctures in her side. *She reminded the others that there was still some unfinished business back at the cactus. *

It was Nator who again spied Curtis Lee deep in the pads. *It was time to finish this tormentor off. * Unfortunately, Cruncher, who was also looking for Curtis Lee, went across Nator's path. *Nator knocked Cruncher into the painful pads. *Cruncher had had enough of Nator. *There was a reason why Cruncher had that name. * He bit Nator's left foreleg so hard, that it broke. *Nator, in pain, tore Cruncher's scalp so that it fell over his eyes and one ear flopped lower than before.

Earnhardt was starting to get groggy from Grandpa's bite. *They only dogs still in the chase now was Whiskey and Cigarettes. * Whiskey and Cigarettes had several minor wounds each but certainly felt up to taking on just one cottontail rabbit. *The dogs were working their way through the large clump of spiny pads. *Curtis Lee knew he would have to run. * Part of him wanted to freeze, but he knew he must run. * Something inside told him that rabbits were meant to run.

Curtis Lee had about a fifteen yard lead when Whiskey and Cigarettes spied him making his break. *Curtis Lee's lungs burned, his throat burned, his legs had no feeling. *He had used up all his tricks. * Whiskey and Cigarettes were closing in. *But Curtis Lee was determined to run as long as he could. *

Seeing Wallace Sharpton Mephitus Mephitus (skunk) stretching in front of him seemed almost surreal. *Wallace had just come out of his den and pulled at grass a couple of times with his right front foot and then with his left front foot. *Now it was wellknown that Wallace Sharpton was never in a good mood any time, but he was always in his worst mood after just getting up. *

Whiskey and Cigarettes were now a mere three yards behind him. *Curtis Lee gave whatever he had left into a leap over Wallace Sharpton, rolling and then collasping in a pile five yards beyond. * Cigarettes and Whiskey knew about skunks. *They stopped as fast as they could. *They had had a bad day and were telling Wallace Sharpton about it and that he should move on in no uncertain terms. *Unfortunately for Whiskey and Cigarettes, Wallace Sharpton was the wrong person to be complaining to, and they were way too close. *Wallace Sharpton always felt that one should never waste words when deeds will do. *Whiskey and Cigarettes day just got a lot worse. *Oh, they barked angrily for another thirty seconds or so at Wallace Sharpton's silent insult, but their eyes started burning and were filled with tears. * Then their throats and noses started burning. *They felt like they couldn't breathe. *If Curtis Lee had been a yard in front of them, they would have neither seen, nor smelled him. *But they no longer even thought of Curtis Lee. *They rolled and rubbed themselves trying to get rid of the suffocating, burning spray.

[bugscufle]

*
That evening, Billy Barkley saw his dogs come limping or dragging themselves home in ones or twos. He could not believe what he saw. What had they come up against? A bull? A stallion? A mountain lion? Billy knew these dogs would never fight again. These dogs had been beaten. Billy got mad, which was his mood of choice. He wanted to get back at whatever had overwhelmed his dogs, but he couldn't imagine what it was.

The scent on Whiskey and Cigarettes just made him madder. He kicked Cigarettes and started throwing things at Whiskey. Whiskey ran beyond throwing range, and Cigarettes ran under the house, which she always did when Billy got mad.

Billy, still cussing, went back into the house, put some corn dogs in the microwave, opened another beer, sat down in his recliner, and turned on the recently acquired plasma TV, and clicked on pay-per-view extreme fighting. Unfotunately for both of them, Cigarettes was right under the notveryairtight floor and still stinking. Billy got mad again and went back outside and knelt down, hollering at Cigarettes to move. Cigarettes wasn't about to move. The only thing left to throw was an axe head. Billy missed Cigarettes by two feet.

Billy went back inside, got a corn dog and another beer and sat down again. By this time, the whole room was starting to smell like Cigarettes and his corn dog started tasting funny. Billy was fit to be tied. He went to the bed room and got a recently acquired .30-.30. He wanted to shoot close enough to Cigarettes to scare her from underneath the trailer house.

When Billy fired, he had no thought of the axe head he had previously thrown. Which was unfortunate for him . Because his bullet ricocheted off the axe head. Now there were an almost infinite number of directions that bullet could have taken without any negative consequence. The bullet found none of them. Instead, the bullet headed straight towards Billy's propane tank.

They neighbor's still talk about it. Prettiest ball of fire you ever did see. Some thought it was a plane crash. Others thought it might be a meteor. They say old man Cheatum yelled out, "Incoming!", and dove under the bed. Naturally, everybody called 9-1-1. Pretty soon, Billy's place looked like a county fair.

Only the back half of Billy's trailer burned. But Billy sure didn't seem appreciative of everyone's presence.

It was Rolando Garcia, a volunteer firefighter who noticed the .30-.30 lying on the ground. Just like his that had been stolen a couple of months earlier. Almost unthinkingly, he picked it up, like he would his own gun. He flipped up the stocked and "RG" was carved in it. Just like his own gun.

Rolando moved over to one of the deputies and spoke to him for a few minutes. Then, while two deputies went back inside the house with electric lanterns, one stayed outside talking with Billy. The deputy remembered that the plasma TV was just like one reported stolen in a burlary last month. The deputies who were inside did what is called a "field test" and determined that what Billy had been cooking was not eggs and bacon. Billy was arrested for manufacture and possession of a controlled substance and possession of stolen property.

That was the last time any of the locals saw Billy, or the dogs. Nobody is quite sure what happened to dogs.

As Billy rode into town that night, hand-cuffed and the back of the deputies car, he didn't think about the explosion, or the fire, or his arrest, or where he would be for the next twenty years. No sir, Billy wondered what mighty and vicious creature had whipped the best fighting dogs in this part of the state. Surely it, or they, were dead or dying now. That was comforting to Billy.

Halfway up Magill Mountain, Curtis Lee Cottontail was licking his sore and bloody feet as he watched the last vehicle drive away from Billy's place. His whole body ached. It had been some day. The northwest sky was flickering. Curtis Lee thought of how nice it would be to sleep in tomorrow morning, listening to the rain.

[jim]

Loved it!

[lost1]

Great story. I look forward to hearing more of Curtis Lee.
)this is a true story isn't it?) ;D ;D ;D

[bugscufle]

Thank ewe

[Rick]

Great story !!!

;D

[edward_4576]

shades of Watership Downs...

Great story :D

[ghostcat]

Fantastic!!!!