BDSM can you be that and self suffient

[icareforkids]

i am a lifestyle person and have been for several years. but.. i am also as equally minded in total self suffiency.. can i do both and still be happy? if there are any others out there that share my lifestyle write me... thanks...

[gypho]

I'm sorry, I must be really thick-skulled this morning.... can you explain a little further?

gypho

[preliator]

okay i may be a bit slow here as i just spent 5 days in the woods but lets see if i git this right........

your nickname is : Icareforkids
your into self reliance but you are also into bondage and S&M. can i be correct in stating that?

i am going to have to be honest with you here on this one......i am a bit weirded out by the whole thing.....not that you perhaps like to be tied up and spanked but the fact that you choose the use the nickname that you do and your first post is about looking for like minded self-reliant folks that are also into the alt. lifestyle of Bondage and S&M.......
i wish you all the best but i got to tell ya this one may just get a few huh's, who's and what the hay's..........

anthony

[icareforkids]

the reason i have the icareforkids is i had been doing day care for the last 12 yrs. its my income.. but in the very last 6 yrs i have been in the lifestyle but not at all anything to do with anyone under 25 ever. as for my lifestyle i simply am wondering if i can still be a submissive/slave and live self reliant as well...

[gypho]

Oh Lord, I am thick today...LOL!!!

Sorry, Icareforkids... ummm I personally don't care what ya do in private... sexually or otherwise...

And I don't think it would "make or break" a self-reliant lifestyle, unless of course, you were tied up and unable to get loose to feed your animals, water the garden........ oh, I gotta stop now... sorry.

This is just too mind-boggling this early in the morning.

Welcome to the forum, though.

gypho

[preliator]

hey icareforkids,
listen what blows ones hair back and what blows ones mind can be the very same thing. i was just a bit taken back is all.....i have been called a bit on the vanilla side of things myself....
as for being in both lifestyles, i dont understand why one couldnt be. being a self-reliant is more of a dominant role i would think....being able to care for ones own without outside need is the way i always understood it to be....being the submissive in the bedroom or dungeon may be the rekease one person needs after being in the role of the dominant self-reliant homesteader all day.
like i said i was a bit taken back by the nickname and the post.....but to be honest with you i have been taken back by a whole lot less.....welcome to forum hope you find what your looking for in the lifestyle thing....anything else i may be able to help with ;)
anthony

[gypho]

Me too. Sorry for the ribbing. Meant no offense, honestly. And the welcome was/is sincere.

gypho

[new-attitude]

*Being very, very quiet...*

;)

[preliator]

*Being very, very quiet...*

;)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH YOU ARE TOOOOOOOO FUNNY...........*wink wink wink*

[Ponyman]

Welcome to a wonderful group of people and open to many things... not everything is everybodies cup of tea but I would guess there are hidden things in everybodies closet that really do it for them and I wouldn't worry about that at all... there are a million folks out there and I am sure someone is out there for you if you hollar loud enough... or softly enough as the case may be! But keep on trudging to be self sufficient and if you build it he will come... no pun intended! lol

Ponyman

[wvpeach1963]

I was toatlly lost till I read all the posts.

I would say one has nothing to do with the other.

A self suffiecent life style does reguire a great deal of strength , so you might want to save yours.

No deprevation or your strength will lag and you'll not find self suffiecency easy in a weakened condition.

[txanne63]

Having been in a serious self-reliant living situation--I found between splitting wood--hauling water--i didnt have much energy left for kinky stuff.

I am a night shift worker--[3rd shift] So I am sleep deprived---

Please forgive my finding this very funny---bahahhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! ;D

Whatever turns your crank-----


annie

[dinabug38]

Anne, is that you ? lol.....




( oh boy, she's gonna kill me for that one)

you know Im just kiddn anne....

dina--ducking and running

[txanne63]

Anne, *is that you ? * lol.....




( oh boy, *she's gonna kill me for that one)

you know Im just kiddn anne....

dina--ducking and running



DINA--

LMOA-----yep---its just lack of sleep---I'll get back on track---- ;D

Dare to be real!

annie

[dinabug38]

see I KNEW it was you !!!

you gotta get some sleep girl, who's gonna get Calvin his coffee if your all tied up :o ... pun intended..

lol



dina ;D

[Smoky]

Sure, you can be a submissive/slave. Get over here and weed my garden, NOW!

[txanne63]

see I KNEW it was you !!!

you gotta get some sleep girl, * who's gonna get Calvin his coffee if your all tied up :o ... pun intended..

lol



dina *;D


Dina--I am not this poster--But have been in a couple of kinky situations ;D

Ahhhhh the memories!

annie

[kybackwoods57]

hello all.
as far as BDSM goes. I participate in the D/s and bondage aspect. Dom/sub that is. once in a while a sub needs a spanking. This is totaly outrageous to the modern equal rights girls of today. subs are loved and cherrished and not to be abused. They do need guidance and dicipline too. In the country life a sub would love to be tied up to a tree and ravished. I believe the country life affords more oppertunities for thid lifestyle

[gypho]

hello all.
as far as BDSM goes. I participate in the D/s and bondage aspect. Dom/sub that is. once in a while a sub needs a spanking. This is totaly outrageous to the modern equal rights girls of today. subs are loved and cherrished and not to be abused. They do need guidance and dicipline too. In the country life a sub would love to be tied up to a tree and ravished. I believe the country life affords more oppertunities for thid lifestyle

:o'Nuff said. :o

Again, KY, welcome.

gypho

[NYCBOY]

My new name is Icare for sexslaves !!!! lol Yes you can be bdsm and still be self sufficient.......as long as u are houdini and can get yourself out of the chains and do some chores around the house then shackle yourself back up and get ready for hubby to come home.....i dont see a problem with it. Welcome .

[libertylover]

This perked my interest. Guess I've been too
busy fishing and scooting.

May I ask? Where do you see a conflict
between being submissive and self reliant
homesteading?

[Uncle_Alvah]

I would think it only common courtesy to untie someone when you're..ah...done with them, so they can get about their chores or whatever...

[Rick]

Smoky wrote:

Sure, you can be a submissive/slave. Get over here and weed my garden, NOW!

That's funny. ;D It reminds me of a joke:

This hooker comes up to a guy and tells him "I'll do anything you want for $50"

The guy says "OK, paint my house."

[kybackwoods57]

chuckles at Alvah. cool

[Smoky]

Rick: apparently she wasn't all that serious, the weeds are still here, lol.

[mangyhyena]

i am a lifestyle person and have been for several years. but.. i am also as equally minded in total self suffiency.. can i do both and still be happy? if there are any others out there that share my lifestyle write me... thanks...


I believe you can certainly do both and still be happy.

Even being a submissive, you've still got the final say in what happens and how far things go. If, for instance, you decide to put a stop to it then it stops. If your partner were to not respect your boundaries then I suspect your partner would be out by the curb in short order and not any longer in your home. While a sub is viewed as having no power the opposite is actually true. That alone should clear up any perceived conflicts between being self-reliant and being a sub, hopefully.

Besides, we all have various aspects to ourselves. S&M is one aspect of your personality. Self-reliant living is another. And IMHO, one does not have to eliminate the other. Just be sure your partner is of a like mind, or at least supportive, when it comes to the life-style you choose to live.

And S&M has nothing to do with children, so any concerns in that regard have no basis. The vanilla folks, as you'd probably refer to them, wouldn't engage in anything inappropriate in front of children. As long as you're following the same ethics, and there's no reason to suspect you're not, then it's no problem.

Good luck and have fun.

[wax]

icare- BDSM can you be that and self suffient

Wax- There is one issue that everyone should be aware of.
There is a slightly increased risk of developing a real problem (for both you and society in general) concerning BDSM and survivalism.

But it is extremely important to state out front that niether BDSM or survivalism in and of themselves are risk increasers.

Hmmm... so what to say about it?

I had a very dangerous childhood and was exposed to a very unsavory group of individuals. There was an underground element to survivalism which can not be denied today.
I met a few men who were not only concerned with self efficiency but were also very predatory concerning relationships.

Now again... it is very important to point out that this is not an issue with the BDSM community and lifestyle as much as a larger issue with society in general.

But becoming isolated in a survivalist sense can enhance (or attract would be a better way of putting it) participant who have anti-social tendancies.
Boy that sounds kind of strange doesn't it?
I am anti-social in many ways.

OK... I'll start by example:
Leonard Lake & Charles Ng murdered at least 25 women *( the official count is between 11 and 25) in the Sierra Nevada foothills because they were psychotic and because they could.
Niether the BDSM or the self sufficiency communities can be held responsible for these two freaks but it must be accepted that they were allowed to do what they did because combining elements of the two communities can hold a certain danger.

And they are not alone in this combination:
Google them but you should try these as well:
Martha Beck & Raymond Fernandez
Paul Bernardo & Karla Homolka
Lawrence Bittaker & Roy Norris
Alton Coleman & Debra Brown
Ray & Faye Copeland
Ricky Davis & Dena Riley
Gerald & Charlene Gallego
Judith & Alvin Neelley
Fred & Rose West
Christopher Worrell & James Miller

There are many more but the point is that combining isolationism and BDSM charactoristics can be dangerous.
I am not anti either one, I am simply stating the obvious "be careful".
Someday I will write a book about my life; but I don't think the ratings system would ever allow a movie being made of it.

[Txanne]

And I want a signed copy of it.


Txanne

[woodsrunner]

*Being very, very quiet...*

;)

Kiss me Kate! ;)

[TheUnboundOne]

Dear icareforkids,

You wrote:

i am a lifestyle person and have been for several years. but.. i am also as equally minded in total self suffiency.. can i do both and still be happy? if there are any others out there that share my lifestyle write me... thanks...

I would say you can only be into BDSM and be self-sufficient as long as you tan your own leather pants, blacksmith-forge your own chains, and twist your own cordage for rope...And that's an order!

;D ;)

In all seriousness, whatever consenting adults can swing is within the realm of possibility (anything involving non-consenting non-adults is a criminal matter, not a sexual matter)...But for your own sakes, just don't draw blood, leave a corpse, or, as Oscar Wilde put it, "frighten the horses."

Have fun, you Gothic love-birds! * ;D *;)

[alfriedar]

I have to say I am very impressed with the responses I have come across so far on these posts.. I am almost drawn to tears how much humanity I read in these posts. No attacking or ridicule of others .. Its so nice to feel a part of this group of people .. I use to hate all things and everybody but I grew up in only 20 years.. I have experienced so much and life brought me to a new level of understanding of so much and now I want to be as many of you are .. self reliant and respectful of others situations... You may not understand it but you live and let live. You are in the spirit of what GOD intended you to be when you reach that level.
As for the question that started this thread.... I once met a women on line who lived on the west coast.. she was so stunning and beautiful and wonderful mother to three daughters.. we started to chat .. I told her of my days as an military officer and she kept asking me questions that I found odd like was I a tough officer was I hard on my troops.. I said no I wasnt I set the example blah blah. My answers didnt seem to be what she was looking for.. fininally she said.. Look I need to tell you something.. I need a particular kind of guy.. If I ask you to use a belt on me would you .. I was shocked and appalled . No I would never.. "What if I wanted you to " well I guess I would perhaps then lightly.. "what if I cried while you did that" I would stop in an instant.. " She said .. I don't think this will work" Well I didn't want to just throw in the towel- I asked her to explain and share.. She did.. She had me read .. "DIFFERENT LOVING" by Gloria Brahms and "The Story of O"
I also spoke to her at length and learned about a level of love and trust that exceeds a "vanilla" relationship .. I was so taken aback from what I discovered and saw that its so different from the outside looking in then from the inside looking out.. I discovered I had a bit of a sexually Dominant nature! That her "kink" then connected to me in ways I never knew about me and my reaction was like lighting bolt struck me.. She had unleashed a level of knowledge and inner situation I never understood.. Well I was able to understand her and began to enjoy my thoughts and my respect for her .. so what happened you may ask.. well I was getting ready to fly out to meet her and she said she had a guy whom she had known for years who she felt would never understand her but he had taken a long time to think about it and she said he came over to her place one day and showed her he now understood and had always loved her and so as he lived a mile away and his kids and hers played together- They were both very successful business people and long time friends I bowed out.. I think they got married shortly there after.. Lastly .. what you like in the bedroom has very little to do with your capacity to be a strong capable person outside of that.. of course you can homestead and be self reliant no matter what your "kink" by the way are you single .. .wink..

[wax]

I've re-read the last post for almost a month thinking.
The thing that got me was that phrase "kink".

There are men and women today who believe that any woman who wants to stay at home and raise children, who wants a strong man to provide and who defers complaint concerning financial matters to her husband as somehow insane.

And yet that model worked fairly well (with some obvious failures) for some 40,000 years.

I can't stop thinking about more than four hundred children taken by the state because of an anonymous phone call from a woman who turned out to be a 35 years old claiming to be a minor who was forced into marriage.
The state... acting on my behalf stepped in.

What does that have to do with this? I.. don't... know...!
But I can't get it out of my head.

I can pick up a VW to change a tire by myself in a pouring rain, I can hold that vehicle without a problem long enough to do what must be done. But if I ever lost my wife I would be largely helpless.
I am not kidding I have trouble finding my socks without her!

Yet she has associates who question her choices in life: How can she "just" be a housewife?
It amazes me because while these associates go to work and perform one function day in and day out my wife is a teacher, a cook, an accountant, a mechanic, a salesperson and to call her an executive assistant would be an insult... she is an executive in many of her roles!
In fact I could not define the number of roles that she assumes in her day to day life.

Given all of those things in a simple pursuit to be self sufficient what we choose to do in the bedroom is a moot point. I prefer "quirk" but "kink" is alright I guess.

[rAcErRicK]

And there is what I think is a large part of what is wrong with our country. I have heard it said that there is NO higher calling, than a mother. We are being ruled today by the generation that was raised in the streets like puppies, with no mother or father for that matter. No values, no heros, no love or compassion. The mothers were ripped from the home because most fathers cannot supply all the wants, most of which are totally usless. Then if the child (children) are fortunate enough to keep both parents, they mistakenly think that STUFF will make up for their absense in the childs life. The TV becomes the parent, video games, the internet, then they have to have a cell phone, ipod, the very latest and most expensive sneakers, and on and on. Truth is, all they really needed was a mother and a father to teach them how to get along in this world, and become a useful human being instead of an animal.
Please excuse the rant, but that is one of my pet peeves. I just hope it helps one child, if it does, i'll be happy.

I erred, animals are far better parents than we have become. They refuse to be swayed by idiots.

[Drawbar]

No my friend...there is no higher calling then being a FOSTER PARENT.

Try dealing with a the Dept of Human Services, Birth Parents, Lawyers and Judges, all of whom spend mere minutes with the child and then must decide what is "in the best interest of the child." In the meantime you bandage their wounds, heal their broken bones, deal with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome and try to nurse a baby born on Cocaine back to health.

Somewhere in there you become a true Professional Parent. Somewhere in there you teach a child to love, and to show what true family normalcy is. You show them that two people can get along, without fighting or violence.

Do we fail? Far to often, but we succeed as well and that makes it all worthwhile.

(This post was not meant to sound condescending to anyone, and I know the previous poster meant no disrespect to anyone as well, but sometimes we forget the battle between good and evil in a child is won or lost in the compassionate foster care home. My home is not perfect, and I have so much to learn as a Foster Parent, but by God no child will be harmed under my roof tonight. Or tomorrow...or the next day. May America always have homes like that...whether its mine or yours.)

[kaya_kismet]

Well, at risk of getting back on-topic...

My handfasting partner and myself are into both BDSM and homesteading. We're in the process of getting land, and our intention (oh god...heregoes...) is to set up our home as a self-sufficient community in which other lifestyle bdsm folks can come and share the "love", as it were. I am a sub only to my loving mate, who is definitely dominant. Other women have served under Us, and will in the future on our homestead. It turns out that there are many sane and safe submissive women and men who have expressed interest in living in our home as a full-time work sub, willing to help out and get dirty, and still serve us in between sexually. It's a very common practice (healthy BDSM), and we see no reason why we shouldn't have beautiful subs grace us with thier labor (paid in room and board, essentially) and gratification. Even if we are tired at the end of the day, we can spread out the effort of making sure everyone's satisfied sexually and emotionally, thereby requiring less energy of all of us!

So, "icareforkids", it's doable, and profitable.

And, umm...hey, do you have nice feet? ;-)p

xoxo
KK

[wax]

Drawbar- No my friend...there is no higher calling then being a FOSTER PARENT.

Wax- Really? Perhaps true if it is done right for the right reasons which I am sure you are involved.
But you see I am posting in the BDSM thread about foster parents for a reason!

I spent nine years in foster homes in Southern Minnesota.
This was from 1976 to the point that I finally ran away to pay $20.00 per week to sleep on the floor of a furniture repair shop in 1985 where I often had to fight off drunk men from molesting me but it was a much better alternative.

My father was denied his children unless he could provide a six bedroom house so each of us could have our own room but meanwhile I was stacked in a triple bunk bed working four hours before and four hours after school for a family that was bringing in $295.00 per child which at one point came to $2950.00 per month.
I was raped (sodomized) had my throat cut and witnessed three suicides while I was at that home... yet I wish I could say it was simply a bad example in the midst of wonderful foster parents here in Southerm Minnesota.
I can't.
At my last home I had sex with my foster mother a dozen times.
But I am sure you are a much better breed of foster parent who actually cares about children right?
Right... except you are posting in a thread concerning BDSM in a forum listed as "Alternative Lifestyles".

There can be no good thing about being a "Professional Parent", there are only children and people who love them (even those who are paid to love them apparently). And the predators who prey on them of course!

[Wyzyrd]

well, if you build your own house and furniture, you can put steel hitching rings anyplace you like :)