foster kids

[flatwater]

In my early years my wife and I were foster parents and I learned some valuable life lessons in that position . It would seem that no matter how bad a child was treated the thought of ones own parents not wanting them is to much for a child to handle. and they would rather go back to something very bad instead of trying out a new family that could give them all the love they could handle. It's a lot like us today , we would rather stay with the status quo even though it's bad for us but because we can know what to expect it's seems to be better then something new that we don't know what to expect. Our early forefathers who could only fly by the seat of their pants because everything was new in forming this country must look down on us with shame and wonder why this country has so many wussies that want everything handed to them on a silver platter and be darned if I should have to work for anything or be held accoutable for anything>>>>Shame on us.
Flatwater

[homesteadingnky]

Seems we are a dying breed indeed. :-/ :(

[DonnaKay]

In my early years my wife and I were foster parents and I learned some valuable life lessons in that position . It would seem that no matter how bad a child was treated the thought of ones own parents not wanting them is to much for a child to handle. and they would rather go back to something very bad instead of trying out a new family that could give them all the love they could handle. It's a lot like us today , we would rather stay with the status quo even though it's bad for us but because we can know what to expect it's seems to be better then something new that we don't know what to expect. Our early forefathers who could only fly by the seat of their pants because everything was new in forming this country must look down on us with shame and wonder why this country has so many wussies that want everything handed to them on a silver platter and be darned if I should have to work for anything or be held accoutable for anything>>>>Shame on us.
Flatwater

I don't totally understand it either. I think for some people they just can't get over the need to try to make their parents love and want them. My sister-in-law was put into foster care as a teenager and admits that it was the best year of her life and that had she stayed she probably would have finished high school, not gotten pregnant, not gotten on drugs....etc. But there is just something she can't get over with her Mom. SIL has turned her back on all of those who REALLY love her when her Mom has called with pie in the sky promises that never pan out. And this is a woman who used to make her steal as a child, wanted her to get pregnant as a teen so she could "have a baby around," has offered her drugs while she was pregnant.

I guess for some people they can't see their own self worth when their own parents don't love and protect them.

It's sad. But I still think foster parents offer a valuable peak into what life can be like. Don't underestimate that even if they do go back to the dysfunctional family. Maybe at least it will give them something to strive for with their own children.

Donna~~who thanks you for caring for someone that you didn't have to

[BrendaSue]

Donna, my oldest daughter has taken on her husbands cousin, she is 11 yo....my oldest daughters baby is 3 yo....I am afraid of this for my grand daughter, this 11 you was raised by some omg, drug, drinking skank only way to put it people...so how will this affect my grand daughter, you may wonder why I would feel this way, cuz I have seen this 11 yo do somethings that was so wrong....I know my mom at one point when I was 12 took in a friend that was 13 and I was treated so badly compared to this girl, now I am not saying it was a pitty party, it was a fact....I hope they can change this child I really do, and I thought about taking her, but decided I am too old for this, but maybe I should of....the mom is only giving temp custody to my daughter so this is a worry....at any time the child could be yanked back so to speak...

Dunno, it is a huge concern of mine.....

So I pray that it will be ok, and that my grand daughter will not be led astray, and that she will have her young life still and not be taught things that she was not raised as.....

IF that makes sense...

[wax]

Flat- It would seem that no matter how bad a child was treated the thought of ones own parents not wanting them is to much for a child to handle. and they would rather go back to something very bad instead of trying out a new family that could give them all the love they could handle.

Wax- I am somewhat confused here Flat.
Hmm...
I spent more then seven years in foster care, against my will as most do.
Why would one struggle against security and safety in the hopes of obtaining freedom?

You see this is one of the basic problems with "Foster care" in modern society. After all, "All I want to do is help this helpless punk who should be greatful because of my sacrifice!"
And yet the "punk" in question doesn't seem to appreciate the fact that he/she was dragged from home and placed with someone as wonderful... and thus obviously better than any genetics or act of nature/God could provide for such a worthless child as the one you have so graciously (and publicly) sacrificed yourself for.

As you so rightly pointed out the child could be beaten, raped... perhaps worse if the little bastard were aloud the freedom to go home!

I don't know how to answer you... after all them "Japs" had a problem with being safely put away in camps during WWII for some crazy reason!
Them Injun's complained when they were sent to good Christian schools and were given real names and given beds to sleep in!
Them Jews were given free train rides and perfectly good jobs to do and yet they didn't appreciate it either!

Those here who have read my story probably understand more than others but I would choose a violent death at the hands of my father (thus insuring my place in Valhahla/heaven) than being displayed at your table as another example of your greatness!

Yep... the problem must be those damn kids and how ungreatful they are!
To be allowed such greatness and reject it?!?
Must be insanity!

[wax]

Flat- Our early forefathers who could only fly by the seat of their pants because everything was new in forming this country must look down on us with shame and wonder why this country has so many wussies that want everything handed to them on a silver platter and be darned if I should have to work for anything or be held accoutable for anything

Wax- Now that I have gotten the obvious error out of the way, the claim is moot.

Our "Forefather's" were a mixed breed at best: and lumping them together carries a huge risk!
What forefathers are you talking about?
The Virginians?
The Penns?

Washington was the richest landowner in the US at the time he decided to give it all up to risk everything for... less than he had.
He wasn't raised by foster parents and no... he didn't earn his wealth.
John Handcock was more or less a Pirate and he owned the ship in which the Boston Tea Party took place on.
He was the largest landowner in Boston and sent a letter to Washington who was worried about damaging that property which basically said, "If it all burns it burns!"
He was one of two which were sentanced to certain death without option after the signing of the declaration and no... he wasn't raised by foster parents!
We can all thank providence for that!

My favorite of course would be the Adams brothers.
If you think their father did not abuse them you have not read any real history!
John caught the historical favor but simply by circumstance it is Sam who took a spot next to Handcock as universally condemned if caught: they were both to be hung without trial for public abuse of the king.

Do you see how all of this ties in somehow?

All of these men could have lived very comfortably if only they had excepted the loving offers of King George.
He was willing to offer lands and title, "a new family that could give them all the love they could handle".
But they rejected such a thing and decided to risk everything for something as crazy as freedom!

Yea... some people are funny that way.

[flatwater]

Darn I must have touched a sore spot , sorry to have offended you. But on the other hand maybe I have read your reply wrong and you just have an anger problem that I'm not a part of. Either way deal with it.
Flatwater

[wax]

Flat - But on the other hand maybe I have read your reply wrong and you just have an anger problem that I'm not a part of.

Wax- Yes of course, sometimes I forget that I am posting things that others will actually read! Please forgive me now and in the future if my "off-hand retorts" are too direct and emotional.

It is extremely hard in this venue to express such things as emotional content or... to joke without being unfunny.

The written word does not carry what a spoken word can so irony and satire often come off as an attack instead of the slight spar intended.

I am sorry if (when) this occurs.

[flatwater]

Agreed upon and understood. The one thing missing on the computer is body language and facial exspresions. ;) ;D >:( :o ::) :P :-/ :'(. well almost no facial exspresions.
Flatwater