Umm... this section needs some life....

[MHinFox]

Seems this section gets VERY little attention, except the single add posting.. I will pose a few questions for the ladies to answer (if they will be so kind to...:)...). Single and married ladies feel free to contribute. Lots of you married ladies have friends which I am sure talk to you about the modern dating world. Now what kind of place would a few of us single men meet ladies of the mindset of some of the wonderful ladies I see on here? Oh course church is one answer ...but alas I don't go to church ..have my own views just not big on organized religion. Would probably go some if partner wished. What I am really curious about is other places you might be found. So if you feel a little genrous about helping us out feel free to chip in some answers...if this works of course I might post other questions as well...LOL...thanks in advance...Matthew

[humbug]

The age old question right...Where to meet quality girls or guys??? I have actually met a couple here...but discovered that I am not really locatable. So I don't know if this will really help, but when I am not working I can be found at barbecues...renewable energy fairs, farmers markets, antique shops, trap shoots, rodeos...etc. I am not sure what events are available where you live but I can tell you that for the most part you won't find quality people in bars.
I seem to meet men everywhere I go I think the trick is to be an open and friendly to all the people that you meet...regardless of whether you have any interest in them or not. The granny that lives down the street from you..probably has a granddaughter. Good luck in your search..and remember ...its supposed to be fun!!

[MHinFox]

LOL excellent points and feedback Humbug, thanks. The real point to the question is how to meet some of the homestead/self sufficent ladies. Meeting ladies is not all that hard to do...meeting the kind I am looking for seems pretty tough. I do go to a lot of energy fairs, and festivals...LOL but to be honest many times I tend to stay in the background somewhat. I go to a lot of gardening seminars/plant seminars more often than not I am a speaker and try to stay on the professional side of it more than anything to use as a companion finding session...LOL probably silly way of thinking on my side of the coin. Seems I can meet plenty of ladies on internet, and in clubs ect ok ...but none of them really have been anything long term wise. LOL being a gentleman on the internet these days seems to help a lot with all the strange ones out there lurking...:)....it is amazing at the lack of class many folks have these days. I really do apppreciate the feedback though. I dont shop much maybe once a month in and out as quick as I can..LOL...so dont see many there. Grow most of my own food so tend to stay in mountains by self quite a bit except for I do take a lot of road trips for pleasure to seminars, diamondhunting, crystal hunting ect...scenic rides.

[MYellowRose]

Since I now live with my daughter and her girls I can generally be found somewhere like McDonald's or Burger King where they have a value menu, let you get your own drink refills and have a play place for the kids. Before that about the only places I could be found, besides my home, was the central library fifth floor where I would be either on the computer or in the stacks looking for something to read. That floor has the homemaking/cooking/sewing/craft books and so on, and my church. If I needed paperbacks to read those are on the first floor. Oh yes, I can also be found on the city bus going to and from places. Even though I can talk to strangers on the bus or at a bus stop or the library I'm actually pretty shy so I find it hard to let a guy know I may be interested in him.

[MHinFox]

The library would be a place to check...but LOL I dont think it is a good place to try to spark a conversation up...:). Bus stop and such makes sense...but LOL I only go to edge of city to work on certain days and try to get back to mountains as soon as I get off work. Hummm this says I might need to change my ways some...thanks for the feedback it really is appreciated.

[rockymtngirl]

Hey MH - well you sound like a catch to me - so there must be some gal out there waiting for you!

RMG

[MHinFox]

Why thank you maam. (blushing)...but I must warn you....flatery will get you everywhere as they say...LOL...I appreciate that.

[GoodDaughter]

Do you like to garden or farm? Maybe your local ag extension office has seminars or plant sales or guest speakers.

What about some place where you shop? Tractor Supply, Atwoods, feed store?

Do you ever go to county or state fairs? Hanging around exhibits might be a good way to strike up conversation with similar people.

And FWIW, church is often a good place to meet decent people. As a personal example, let me relate this story for you.... I used to attend the same church as my parents, but about 2 years ago I joined another church. My parent's church has a member directory complete with photos, and they don't often update it. My mother told me that a few weeks ago this man who recently joined the church came up to her and started asking her, in a very embarrassed and shy way, about me. He had seen me listed in the directory but hadn't seen me at church. She explained that I had joined another church. The poor guy was apparently pretty embarrassed, and told my mother he wanted to meet a nice woman and settle down. So you see, churches can often be good places to meet people. If the 'organized' part bothers you, perhaps you could find a more unstructured church.

Just my two cents.

[MHinFox]

Excellent suggestions Good daughter. As a matter of fact I travel around the entire state quite often for speaking engagements for the extention office. I am a Master Gardener on both the county and state level. I have been Chair leader for their leadeship training for several years now. I also travel quite a bit around state teaching about organic/sustainable gardening methods in quite a few counties for them. I have been very fortunate that our state supports these methods as much as they can. I also host 2-3 Sustainable Gardening seminars with heirlooms thrown in for good measure each year for the public for free. I also train folks on conflict resolution and leadership in volunteer organizations sometimes. LOL my problem there is I always handle it as a professional endeaver and try to keep anything personnal out of it. (Yeah I know pretty silly...:)..) LOL i have a feeling that problem will just have to go away this year since it is my most often contact methods wih the public. I go to Lowes or farm supply maybe once every few months and usually dont spend much time there as I do it after work while in city...humm another thing I might need to change. Church is good suggestion...but LOL would feel guilty if that was main reason I went but it is an excellent suggestion. Thanks very much for the good ideas...well worth thinking about.

[MHinFox]

Ladies please keep the good ideas coming. I am sure many of the single men out here are getting some good information to think about. We all certainly apreciate your time and thoughts. We thank you .

[MHinFox]

Oh I do go to my county fairs and to others to judge...but usually pretty busy while there and that staying professional hang up I have...LOL

[roolu]

MHINFOX, *try re-enactments. Alot of the participants actually homestead for real. Pay close attention to those giving speeches or teaching the ways of old. Those are the ones that will be more into the lifestyle. You could even try PowWows. Alot of interesting people there as well.

[MHinFox]

Been to a few pow wows they are FANTASTIC. have been to a few reinactments as well but never when I was single...usually went to those as a faimly/parent for teaching step children about history. Excellent idea though thanks.

[MYellowRose]

Try finding a coffeeshop or the like where you can sit near the servers station, that's the place they get the drinks and the like, and listen in on their conversations. Many times they stand there to gossip and you can find out if one is single or if they know someone who is. I met my first serious boyfriend at my first job, he was one of my best customers. In fact several of the men I dated in my late teens and early 20's were my customers and I had a chance to get to know them fairly well before I actually went out with them. Don't hesitate to ask questions such as what their opinion is on some of the things you are interested in. I've had people ask me about what I'm reading when I've got something like BackwoodsHome or Countryside or the like on a table while I have lunch or just drink a cup of coffee or glass of tea.
As for the church idea see if one nearby has some kind of social group or the like. I attend an Episcopal church and we have "tea under the trees" after all but the 7:30 am service each Sunday. I also attend the "Come As You Are" service that is done in regular English for most of it and a small band singing modern Christian music. That may appeal to you more than a more traditional setting.

[Catalpa]

You're right, this section could use some "livening up".

I'd have to echo what others have said about church. You'll find me there more often than not, especially now that we've started a new small group study with Focus on the Family's "The Truth Project". Fascinating stuff!

Other places to meet single women might be the grocery store or the farm store. I know there's times I've been struggling to load heavy stuff into the truck and would be much appreciative of a nice fellow stepping up to introduce himself and lend a hand.

Here's a thought...do you hunt or fish? You're used to teaching, what if you offered to help a gal learn how to hunt and fish? My Dad and my brothers have never really been hunters, so a girlfriend and I have been struggling to learn on our own. Now she's moved away, so I'm floundering a little. I'm blessed to have a nice older gentleman from my church allow me to go with him on opening day for deer season, but whitetail is all he hunts. I would love to learn how to turkey hunt!

Good luck!

[MHinFox]

Wow yellowrose and Catalpa...now those are some great ideas. I dont drink coffee but love hot tea and ice tea but server station...LOL never thought about that one...good concept dont ever go to them town is far away but go by them around dinner time pretty much any of the several days a week I usually work. Church is good location but like I said..:)..would sure feel guilty if just went there to look for ladies. I do have a number of friends at work who know how I believe and are fine with it as they know i am a good man. They invite me often and sometimes I go (rarely but sometimes)...so perhaps i need to accept some of their offers...now the teaching them to hunt or fish is a fantastic idea! In fact we have a very strong "outdoor women" group here in state and know a couple of the ladies in it. I also backpack and hike (have multiple pack set ups and camping supplies. LOL now the brain is heating up..(humm do I smell something burning I wonder?). I also own 5 canoes and several rafts. Over the course of talking to ladies over the net and such I have been SHOCKED by the number that have never canoed or rafted in a river before and would love to..LOL to be honest i have used that one for dates many times ...but I am thinking advertise, be a nice gentleman, multiple ladies could sign up for free...already have all of the equipment and one of my favorite past times live with in a short drive of multiple fantastic rivers buffulo, white 4 forks of the little red and many lakes, and 6-8 other rivers in short drives from here... wow...darn the fact it is winter...LOL thanks ladies what good brains cant come up with ..I am impressed.

[MHinFox]

I forgot to mention have some land here and hunting is good here also have about a 1000 acreas of forest land surrounding my land...that me and some of my neighbors lease for out deer club. and we all agreed in the beginning we can have quest anytime except opening day of deer season....so these ideas are great.

[MHinFox]

:) another advantage I have is I love kids. Have none of my own but did raise 4 step children (so I have been well trained) I usually tell dates to bring kids along for canoe trips when we go ...kids eat that stuff up and are a blast to watch them at it. There are slow easy places to take where no one is in danger and i was a red cross life guard once upon a time. But with kids YOU DO have to stop to swim about every 30 min to an hour LOL and good thing i always take picnic and home made goodies to eat...only issue is if kids or there plan on feeding them as = to about 4 adults per each kid...LOL...do I know kids or what...:)

[MHinFox]

OH and so sorry I forgot my manners! Ladies I am pleased to meet all of you (bows at the waist)...I am Matthew or Matt whichever you prefer....:)

[MHinFox]

OH yeah...while I am thinking about it....hey guys if you have some input by ALL MEANS please share it!...LOL don't make these poor sweet ladies just listen to my input...don't leave an "old buddy" hanging in here by himself. ..:)..this is an open forum and who knows some of these darling ladies might even want to know where they should go hang out to be dicovered by some dashing man...LOL...help them and me out ...:)

[jen_in_southtexas]

I frequent Lowe's, Sutherlands, Tractor Supply, local hardware store etc even more so since I bought my property and since starting this cabin project. But most men that I run into seem to be taken or i get looked at strangely because i've got all this lumber loaded. I've gotten weird looks in the tool section as well. My job requires tools so every now and then i have to go get something.

When the guy at work found out that i didnt have electrical hookups at my property he was beside himself wondering how I am cutting my wood. I told him that my cordless industrial Milwaukee sawzall is pretty trusty. He went on about how i need to get electrical. I told him that it was not priority. He asked me "How are you gonna watch tv n' stuff?" I told him that i didnt hardly watch TV and that even if i did have electricity i didnt want a TV anyway. He just couldnt believe it.

I tell you that there are hardly any like minded men in my area. Seems most want conveniences and debt. I have come to terms that Im probably better off single for now.

-j

[MHinFox]

LOL did all that typing and it timed out on sign in...umm will have to do it again I suppose. Well Ms jen I have to think having a good partner is aways better..:)...while i like to be preparred to be able to do well if world goes crazy...it doesnt keep me from enjoying modern things while I can I love my surround sound, computers, sat. tv...love my scifi and all the great learning channels out there. Not to mention the romantic movie/couch time pleasures. Hope to be ready with wind and solar power within two years or so. (heavy technical background) And lets say some fool throws nucs in I am hoping scifi goes to auto program if not I will be forced to rely on my music collection and movie collecton to survive!...LOL...hope to be preparred enough to still enjoy some of the amenities of life. ...:)...I do apreciate the feedback on where you like to hang out it does back what some of the ladies have mentioned before. Umm though seldom see many women in tool section here in Arkansas...but then I have most of mine thesedays so dont check it that often perhaps need to keep eye out over there better. Really do apreciate the good information .... thanks.

[IrishGoddess]

I am a firm believer in not looking. If you look too hard you tend to have very set ideas/conditions of what you want, and although you should always have some type of standards, they often keep you from talking to or meeting people you would otherwise find really interesting.
Sometimes people don't fit immediately into the mold you have created but can often be molded to it, given the proper time and attention.
Good luck to you.

[Malamute]

I second(or is that twelfth?) the church suggestion. There are a lot of different type churches, and are good social outlets for folks living more rural or remote. You may just stumble onto a very cool church unexpectedly. Pow wows, Mountain Man rondezvous, craft fairs, museum events. Get some business cards made, with your e-mail and maybe your online photo album on it. It makes it simple to make a casual contact, and gives you something to write someone elses info on if you need to for yourself. Grocery stores, farm/ranch supply places, gun stores, gun shows,...anywhere you like to go or have interest in, be there. Be friendly without sounding like you NEED to meet someone. I naturally just say hi or make simple comments to strangers anyway. 99/9% of the time, thats as far as it goes, but once in a while, someone will talk back some,....

Something I found to be interesting is an online place, plentyoffish.com It's free, with no restrictions on use within the basic rules. Lets you do seaches for interests. Be brave, search. send simple, freindly, complimentary notes. Don't expect replies, but you do get some, and some of those can become freinds. Then they may become more. I've written some very interesting women. Myspace is a good way to meet and write people too, with no pressure. Someone wrote to me on myspace wanting to know about Wyoming, and living here. No expectations or pressure. That was several months ago. We're planning to meet soon.

[MHinFox]

Malamute and Irish Godess thanks for the excellent suggestions. LOL I have met several on Plenty of fish ...LOL but no keepers yet..:)..most just dont seem to really be looking for the lifestyle ...and to each their own. Irish you made some excellent points about not looking to hard...very true sometimes you can overlook things if not careful. I dont have a problem with teaching/learning with someone who wants to adopt the lifestyle, but I never would try to mold them I think. I prefer someone to choose their own ways and grow together, freewill if you will. LOL not sure I want to play Dr Frankenstein...LOL she might end up making me give up the travel and toys and such I like...:)..LOL...jk...I am cautious not to try to change a lady but let her grow her own way. Like I said though your points are well spoken and good ones...thanks

[RobJob]

MHinFox, here's an idea that might get you started when you do meet a potential keeper. Offer to help fix stuff. I'm sure you must be handy at something on the homestead. And, if they're of a like mind I'm sure the work will benefit both of you.

[MHinFox]

Not a bad idea Rob. Thanks for the suggestion actually have a lot of skills in that arena.

[Coleen]

Matt,
Since you mentioned many of your skills, including teaching women to raft, sounds to me like you should have your own "Reality TV" show: "Bachelor Woodsman" - and get to choose which woman suits you the best. Just like "Outback Jack" the Australian bushman. But don't make the same mistake he did. He chose the City-Princess, Paris Hilton lookalike who only suffered the outdoors for fame/fortune and girl-competition. They actually married and had children. I don't expect it to last if he's a true outdoorsman. (He was obviously "d-inking"...that's thinking with his d_ _ _ instead of his brain.) Okay...Did that add some "life" to this section???

[MHinFox]

LOL I am sure it did since most of crowd here is conservative by nature...LOL...I am not sure i am much of the compititiion type person though....:) oh course many ladies sounds nice but LOL to be honest I dont think I would find that many competing over me ...LOL...realist here

[MHinFox]

good man just not flashy type fellow...LOL

[Photographer]

Seems to have gotten very quiet here for the past couple of weeks....
Must be someone out there to talk to?
Bill

[ladyhorserider]

This looks like an old posting, but I am new here. Where does one go to meet someone? Male or female, for each, the issue seems to be the same. I have been single/divorced for a very long time and singles sites just don't seem to work for me although I believe that it seems the best way to go. I just can't write to total strangers for months before meeting or there are just too many players on there. The drawback to chance meetings in town, grocery, library, or the likes are that first of all how does one know the other is single without coming across as tacky when asking? Also, and maybe more important: if one meets a single person and starts a relationship, it could have been very likely the other party really was not looking for anyone, but gets into it anyway for 'other' reasons. In the end...it ends! Personally I want to find someone who does want to find someone.
Going to events that are related to your hobbies and interests can lead someone into utter frustration as you see most people there are 'coupled up' or possess rings on left hand. While I am doing my own thing on horseback, I would always hope that a man would have the courage to stop and start a conversation. It has happened on a rare occassion. Unfortunately, he was either way off base without any marbles or he did not offer his phone number to continue contact and the last time it happened he was far to insecure for me.
It is truly amazing how many people are single, how many people there are in the world and how many people are so very lonely and alone! It is just wrong. That saddens me.
Whoops...it said, 'this section needs some life' and I just filled it with... sort of...death! chuckle.

[DM]

I've been single for a long time, and i haven't found it very easy to meet someone near my age either... I'm in my 50's, and it seems to me many of the single gals are closer to 40 and want someone 45 tops...

It seems to me most of the available gal's here that don't already live on a homestead, like the "idea" of living on a homestead better than actually doing it... At least that's what i've observed...

DM

[Photographer]

I think one of the problems with "singles" is very simple...most have their own land/homes already, and have worked hard to get where they are....Most are NOT wanting to relocate from that home, and I can understand their dilemna.

Most of us have a lot of tools and such that would be very difficult to move, and there is the possibility, (albeit small?) that the two parties do not get along in life, as they did on the internet/forums.

Uprooting one's self is hard to do in a lot of cases, as many have jobs, and children in school. Some singles are in college, and cant just up and move to a new place easily.

It is hard enough for singles to connect, and then we have all the other obstacles to overcome as well. Some have rather large acreage, homes, and horses and other animals that would be nearly impossible, to move....

IF they did decide to relocate, they have NO insurance of the person they are going to meet with, how their relationship might work out....and some may have to sell their properties in some cases..
Certainly not, an easy decision.

Due to the fact I have so much, "junk", I decided to move only about 150 miles from where I am now, to a piece of land I purchase myself...That is my only insurance...I own it, it's my soon to be 'home', and I can share it with anyone I want....Now what happens IF you (male or female) move to a place several hundred miles from where you are right now?

Anything can happen, as as we all know, sometimes people just don't work well together...then what happens?
In some cases you have to move out, and not necessarily in the best of conditions, as there are some people, that can be darned onery!

Maybe we can get "Singles Insurance" to cover our out of pocket costs for those: "just-in'case" situations?
I wish!
Bill

[Photographer]

I frequent Lowe's, Sutherlands, Tractor Supply, local hardware store etc even more so since I bought my property and since starting this cabin project. *But most men that I run into seem to be taken or i get looked at strangely because i've got all this lumber loaded. *I've gotten weird looks in the tool section as well. *My job requires tools so every now and then i have to go get something. *

When the guy at work found out that i didnt have electrical hookups at my property he was beside himself wondering how I am cutting my wood. *I told him that my cordless industrial Milwaukee sawzall is pretty trusty. *He went on about how i need to get electrical. *I told him that it was not priority. He asked me "How are you gonna watch tv n' stuff?" *I told him that i didnt hardly watch TV and that even if i did have electricity i didnt want a TV anyway. *He just couldnt believe it. *

I tell you that there are hardly any like minded men in my area. *Seems most want conveniences and debt. *I have come to terms that Im probably better off single for now. *

-j



Wow!
I wrote something "similar" and was almost branded a 'sexist' on another thread!
I went back deleted my "offensive" posts and apologized for in any way, hurting anyone's feelings....
It was taken out of context there!
I understand exactly what you are saying!
I have NO problem with your post, it tells it like it is, in reality!

Now as for the electricity, I will have need for at least some power, as I want to power my radios, and I have no cordless tools anymore. The problem is, the cost of everything needed for either a solar or wind generating system. I estimate for a complete system I would require, runs about $6k.
Not cheap! No tv, but a few appliances, like a new refrigerator I have already and I am running a hot fence due to a lot of unwanted critters, that would eat a garden in just a few minutes!
Since I started this project before I had the land, I made a few discoveries....Like the need for water!
Pumps won't run without electricity or fuels, and as everyone knows, the gas/diesel prices are up again, and it looks like they are not going to stop anytime soon!
Wishing you luck in your endeavor!
Bill

[ladyhorserider]

[quote author=Photographer link=board=per-singles;num=1226454870;start=20#33 date=02/22/09 at 06:57:38]I think one of the problems with "singles" is very simple...most have their own land/homes already, and have worked hard to get where they are....Most are NOT wanting to relocate from that home, and I can understand their dilemna.



Bill,

I agree with all that you said. It sure can be tough. Humans are social beings and of course I am just the same even though I have no problem being by myself. But I do have many things on 'my side' with finding someone. Along with the fact I think outside the box which is a good thing in this brain washed society, I am mobile right now! I have already moved from my paradise of self sufficiency for reasons unrelated to finances or whatever. So I am ready to move and at this age like you said, it is hard to find someone who is willing to go. I will be a good catch for a good man. But alas, I am not the type for just any man! smile

My internet is now down at the house, so likely harder now for me to keep up with my new 'hobby' of watching this forum for which I typically do not do anyway!

[MHinFox]

DM and photographer those are some good points you make. I do believe many like the romantic concept of it ...but not the reality of the life style. LOL so many are apalled by the idea of no running by the store all of the time. When I was married and had 4 step children, I made it a point to take them all to muesems, zoos, fests ect so they could at least enjoy some of the amentities of town pleasures. LOL then we would shop on the way home from a day of fun. Seemed to help fill their needs some...especially the kids. We also went canoeing and hiking, mountains road trips and would take there friends so we could have fun in the country. Worked well I guess since they were all city kids when they moved here and all have turned out to be great outdoors lovers these days. Even these days I date around the state some I take a gallon of blueberries,gallon of blackberries, some homemade jeally, rotel ect for a greeting gift. I explain I dont do flowers but am very willing to share vittles...LOL most love the concept. However I am cheap i guess because I tell them the vittles are free but someday I want my canning jars back...LOL they get a kick out of it and I get a good return ratio on my jars..bad huh?...:)...No complaints yet. Unfortunately no long term keepers yet though. Ladyhorserider I know what you mean about going to seminars and festivals...everone seems to have a ring or sidnificant other. More often than not I am a speaker and very contenious about acting professional and being nice and polite. LOL I am there to present something for free to public, not there to impress and hit on the ladies. LOL so that is a tough enviroment to work on being single in for me. Have met a lot of nice folks but dont seem to have much luck there.....LOL this was actually a longer post first time...forgot the 120 min log on thing dang it! LOL and being I hate to type to much this one will be shorter...and i have to remember to change to stay logged on...:)

[bookwormom]

okay, I have been out of the market for a long time, like 43 years. *but at this country church here you would not find anything I would want on *my place. *Not meaning to sound catty, they just are not interested in the homestead life style.
also you can not judge a book by it's cover. *I know very well a girl who is pretty as a picture, *would be a real asset on any *homestead, milks the goats, no qualms about manure. Bakes the best bread, deftly handles the woodstove, *also a chainsaw. Is frugal, *cooks without the help of any 'helpers',hamburger or tuna, coolwhip or cake mix. *Lovely personality, really too good to be true. *she lives in the city by necessity, but gets all kinds of fruit free on her travels and cans and dries it. *Her wardrobe includes stage clothing and concert shoes because she is a professional singer, classical field. *Plays the violin and piano, has studied among other places at the Mozarteum in Salzburg. You meet her, *she may look glamerous. *You'd never guess *she has no qualms about getting her hands dirty, *for fun loves hiking, has crawled through caves like a mole, *camped out in make shift shelter,does not smoke or the like.
Advertise and state exactly what you are looking for. *there may be the right girl in the most unlikely place,who would love to meet a guy like you but has no idea how to go about it. *
I,by the way,met my husband on a mountain top hiking. *We were introduced by a dog.

[MHinFox]

LOL bookwormom that does sound inspiring.....and I can relate to it some. LOL have very little contact in rural area I live in except helping with schools on gardening and occational seminars on gardening. Tend to stay very much to self. Work in high tech field so most of those folks arent interested in homesteading concepts. that was nice of you to share the story of the lady. Sometimes many outdoors people live in the cities simply because that is where they can make a living. Thanks for reminding us of that.

[IndianaWoodsman]

Yes, it needs lots of life! I am 29, divorced, homesteader wannbe, all-outcountryboy. I will relocate for the right girl but be forwarned, I am very picky!

rockymtngirl, if you are still single write me.

I just found this site today and had to join. with the mysterious demise of HomesteadingToday, I've been looking for another forum.

[harvester]

Start answering adds in the local papers of forsale items under livestock etc..and the ones, help needed on small farm etc..
I tend to meet alot of people this way and simply call for the local advice on where else to find things im looking for. these people have lived here much longer than me and they are all very helpfull. Ive made many friendships this way.

[MHinFox]

Good note and helpful. LOL I dont answer ads much though. I am the one of the ones who answer though. The local extention office sends folks with gardening questions and esp organic or sustainabilty questions to me to answer and talk to them. I do seminars for the county 1-2 times a year. old fashions I guess I would feel quilty if i used it to meet ladies. LOL I feel it would not be right for me to use that as an excuse to meet ladies..., but hey if it happens guess it would be cool. I really do try to handle questions and such more on a professional level. Most of the ladies I meet through that arena seem to be married though.

[sulix]

Yes i agree this section needs some new life. I am a newcomer to this board and have not posted much. All i find out is someone wants to meet a person and later on they are gone.Disappeared. Into Cyber world
I have lived alone and enjoy the good life. Especially like a night i have gone through. A freak snowstorm hit us here in So.Dakota and lost all electric power for almost 6 hours. A peaceful evening with the oil lamps and candles with a nice warm house with backup wood heat.
What a peaceful evening. Just had made a homemade loaf of bread and was gonna make some chocolate chip cookies and the power went off.. Oh well. . Make the best of it.Sure would be nice to have someone to share it with . LOL

Ok now you all have another person showing some interest in this forum.. . . Good luck too all...

[MHinFox]

LOL sulix if we had all known you had fresh bread and chocolate cookies....:)...you probably could have had half of the forum show up! I have few doubts this whole group loves vittles of that sort...LOL...by all means keep posting.

[MHinFox]

and baking while I am thinking of it...:)

[bgarrett]

The one best way to meet someone is to have a mutual friend introduce you to someone.
In other words, make friends and let them know you are looking.

[logansackett]

I don't know about giving this section life, but I thought what could it hurt to give this a try.
My name is mark I'm 41 never married live in colorado. I dont have my land yet but I am doing many other things to prepare for when I do.
I would like to find an honest like minded lady.

[daffodil]

You can try the computer dating thing. GreenSingles has some interesting people on it. I didn't really find anyone "interesting" but I think that's because I really don't care if I do or not:). I got alot of responses but they were mostly the opposite of what I was looking for (I'm not into the cuddling thing. I'd rather someone who wants to clean the pigs, plant the garden, cut wood, and eat together:)) I joined because I was tired of being asked if I was gay just because I don't date.

[WileyCoyote]

I've been married for 27 years, so I don't know how much help I would be! LOL If something happened to DH I probably wouldn't be looking again. Mostly because of the men I've known/worked for/worked with. Many of them seem to have the attitude - no matter how independent they say they want a woman to be - that a woman is for 'indoor' things, like cooking and cleaning up after the guy, and the guy wants to be the one 'in charge' - i.e., not a partnership, with each one doing what they do best and being compatible. The older a woman gets, the more she seems to be thought of as a sexless companion, "someone to take care of me" - and I just don't fit that mold so well.

Most of the ads I've seen from men for women specify age (ALWAYS younger than the man writing it!) and very specific as to behavior. Well, some women are just as picky as men! Although there is a guy locally who is very up front about what he wants - "Woman to share work equally and have my children". Wonder how he makes out with that, considering the ad has run every week for over a year...:rolleyes:

As a Master Gardener who teaches in all sorts of areas, I would think that your access would be unlimited to people of the same mindset as you. The teachers at the schools who show an interest in you and ask specific questions about YOU not just your classes may be discreetly flying an "I'm curious and interested" flag.

My friend Larry is very single. He goes down to the local bar to hang out and talk politics and social trends with people, not just women or men. His circle is always open, with folks going in and out. Larry is not looking and makes it plain - too set in his ways. But the group that hangs out and talks is very diverse. Even though it's a "bar" it is also where folks play backgammon, cribbage, poker, and just chat, instead of a constant-music, loud-noise, meat market sort of place. Perhaps that sort of gathering would be more to your liking and worth looking for?

I don't reccommend church. Most of the ladies there have preconceived notions of what a man should be, especially if he attends church. And most folks when you get them away from church are VERY different than what they are in church! There are a lot of games played and is a lot of pigeonholing going on - "the spinster", the player, the untrustworthy, the mean one, the gossipy one, etc.

I've met quite a few folks who "always wanted to do that!" - but never did and never will. I've also met a lot of rural folk who take every opportunity to take off and travel, go on cruises, go to water parks and other "exciting" city places miles, even thousands of miles, away, because they don't really like rural life or being away from crowds. One single male I know owns a ranch and might spend 4 weeks out of the year on it; he's always looking for women to go with him to FL and on cruises, etc. Not all rural people think that listening to the coyotes howl and watching the moon rise is a wonderful evening!

[kaijafon]

I've been divorced for over a year now. And while right now I have no desire to marry again any time soon, I would not mind sharing my life with someone eventually. However, I am very set in my ways and many of those ways, I've been told by my ex are NOT attractive to the males of the species. I think I was suppose to be ALWAYS the "mother" out of bed and a "whore" in the bed. And the two should never meet. I was not suppose to spend time out in the garden when I could be "standing by" waiting for him to need something. I was not suppose to go anywhere because he might need a cold drink from the frig or some lunch.

If I ever get involved with someone again, they better be "man" enough to fix themselves a sandwich or whatever, if they are hungry. And not wait for me to get home from work to fix him something to eat. Especially, if he is heathly and quite capable of walking into the kitchen.

And I would want someone who actually takes vacations WITH me, not without me. Yeah, the ex never would take a vacation with me and the kids.

I believe in giving each other their personal space, but come on! Different vacations? This man totally lived like a single man, wanted me to wait on him hand and foot and be so thrilled by the privledge of "servicing" him that I would happily and joyfully be "ready" every second of every day in case he happened to be in the mood!

wow, now that I've gotten that all off my chest, I KNOW I'll be staying single for a while!!! LOL!!!! And yes, I realize that not all men are like this. My ex was NOT like this when we first married. It wasn't until we moved to AR that he changed. And boy did he change!!!! and it wasn't for the better!

ok I better shut up now!! hehehehehe!

[MHinFox]

Well Daffodill I did try Green singles and met 2 nice ladies on there...just not enough in common I think. LOL and most of the folks on there (ok maybe not most-but a very large percentage..:) ) were vegeterians-which I was fine with-LOL but most also were Peta and really told me about my hunting practises..:)...alas found not enough close which was not really a stopper but too many had the anti hunting thing going. LOL and I only hunt what i will eat...except possum....that might more fall into the exicution stage since it falls in with when they mess with my cats...LOL.
You know Wiley your point is good too about contacts. Come to think of it i try so hard not to use my speaking enguagements for finding ladies...LOL if one would have been trying to meet me personally I would probably have missed it. Ok yea i know it sounds dumb, but knowing me I probably wouldnt have noticed a background question about me to be out of place since most folks always ask about your background all the time. Umm probabaly could use more attention next time.

[MHinFox]

kaijafon-LOL I hope you don't blame that condition on poor ole Arkansas...:)... many of us down here arent like that. LOLI let my wife say at home all she had to do was some gardening and canning during season-a good chore during most of spring and summer. I even did the tilling AS we built garden up then turned it to no till style. She had most of her time to do as she wished and i encouraged her to have hobbies and interactions with others often...looking back on that might have been some of problem...LOL. I did ask that when she cooked to fix me something for next day lunch. But didnt require anything be cooked just because i got home. I usually worked late on days i worked which was 7 out of fourteen or so. Usually took my 10-12 vacations a year ALWAYS with her and kids (4 step children). We usually sat and all planned them together whether a road trip or real official travel type vacaion. Some of that is just difference in men I guess. I know wha you mean though I often see some of the ladies put up with things and I just think to myself how do they tolerate that?...oh well i guess each peson has to settle that question for themselves...:)

[WileyCoyote]

LOL It's one thing for them to say, "How do you do..." or "How do you know..." or "What's your experience with..." It's quite another to say, "You live and do that all by yourself?" or "Could you help me with my..." !!! ;) Peoples' feelings change the words they use, listen for the change and you might be surprised!
kaijafon, that's probably another reason I wouldn't even try to look any more after DH - because MY needs are intense and I live life to the fullest, in ALL aspects, and I simply haven't met a man (besides DH) who can keep up his end of the bargain and not think that is all there is to me...

[MHinFox]

LOL besides I am a big boy...and can feed myself and dont need anyone to wait on me. Not to mention I want a best friend not a servant...LOL

[MHinFox]

Good point Wiley will have to remember that ...thanks for the advice maam,.

[WileyCoyote]

. I know wha you mean though I often see some of the ladies put up with things and I just think to myself how do they tolerate that?...oh well i guess each peson has to settle that question for themselves...:)

People tolerate what benefits THEM. If they think that they are getting a fair trade in a relationship - or that being OUT of that relationship would be worse than being in it - they will put up with a LOT.

Half the people who know me and DH think that we have a perfect and idyllic relationship, and the other half can't understand what keeps us together and feel sorry for one or the other of us. That extends even to our own children! Both sides are wrong. DH and I forged a very practical relationship of fair trade and equal partnership that is abhorrent to many. It doesn't involve romanticized Harlequin-novel notions of love - nor does it involve constant manipulation or one-upmanship. Whomever is the best at doing something, or whomever has the time and ability, does it. We have our own interests and pursue them without interference from each other. We worked together for seven years on an ambulance, and whomever felt the most comfortable with the case at hand took the lead... without either one of us saying a word to each other. We have a symbiotic relationship. While most folks seem to think that can't be any fun, or that means we don't love each other, or that we need more emotion in our relationship - we HATE the passionate tears and endless fighting we see in other couples, or the long silences of anger and unresolved differences. We chose the rational path of the relationship. Not many people can or want to do that or even understand why. But having both grown up with whiny, selfish, manipulative martyr-types for mothers, watching our fathers being driven almost mad by the hysterias and contradictions, we chose a more peaceful and practical life.

Relationships have to be based on honesty, mutual and complimentary abilities, goals, and desires. So often I see men and women saying, "S/he SAID s/he wanted this, this and this, but when we started to move/farm/live out in nowhere/have kids/, s/he quit on me or changed!" They were not honest and were just going along out of emotion, need, passion, or misdirected manipulation - until the point when they finally had to be honest with their partner and themselves. Plus a lot of folks 'want' things without realizing the work involved - having kids, working animals and soil, being alone and lonely, working at a real relationship full-time. When it hits home that they have responsibilities, and may have to give up things to get to their stated goals, they don't know how to deal with, much less how to explain to their partner why they are, not wanting them any more.

Passion and humor are GREAT (and we have those too) but too much passion without reason or thought turns a relationship sour, even violent. Oftentimes people get caught up in the immediate desires and emotions of "S/he likes me! S/he REALLY does!" and don't think about what this person might be like 5,10, or 20 years down the road. BTW, it's a lot easier to be passionate when you're not wondering about what tonight's indulgences might 'get' you tomorrow, either in a trade-off or in manipulation! ;)

[PaulNKS]

(hehe) Kaijafon, meet MHinfox... a great guy, a sense of humor, a master gardener (you'll never go hungry) and a real gentleman..... :meeting:


:lol: :lol: :lol:

[daffodil]

Well Daffodill I did try Green singles and met 2 nice ladies on there...just not enough in common I think. LOL and most of the folks on there (ok maybe not most-but a very large percentage..:) ) were vegeterians-which I was fine with-LOL but most also were Peta and really told me about my hunting practises..:)...alas found not enough close which was not really a stopper but too many had the anti hunting thing going. LOL and I only hunt what i will eat...except possum....that might more fall into the exicution stage since it falls in with when they mess with my cats...LOL.


Maybe try dating the guys on there, seems all I found were meat eaters who hunted LOL! The one guy I did go out with told me he ran a rescue (I rescue farm pigs), first thing we did was take some goats to the auction! Then he tells me how we have to eat meat to survive when TSHTF (did I get that abbreviation right?) and by the end of the night he was selling off his rescued cows for $8000. That was it for me. First date in 13 years and probably the last.

Just a note...as you probably noticed my signature line, not all vegetarians are PETA! Not sure if they actually said they were or not. PETA are vegans. Nothing wrong with vegans, I'd like to be one myself and have friends who are. It's just not fair to classify ALL vegetarians and vegans as PETA. They are a radical group and I don't have anything against them. They believe in something and get results but that doesn't make ALL animals lovers PETA. I'm actually not a member of any animal group but I do believe in what some of them do and stand behind them. This all comes from my own personal life experiences. I have family who hunt and I don't dislike them because of it. I wouldn't hunt myself though but I don't exclude people from my life who hunt and eat meat. They are good people, they eat meat and I don't, we have our differences and we have our reasons. I've been called "one of those PETA people" many times and I just think it's unfair to lump me(or anyone) with a group I(they) don't have a connection to just because I(they) don't eat meat. Anyway, I just wanted to clear that up. I know you weren't directing any of that at me but I think the PETA thing is used unfairly by alot of people. That's just my attempt at educating people on the subject whether anyone wanted it or not:).

One last thing. There is a dating site that is for farmers. I don't remember what the web address was but you might try searching for that one. I didn't join because I can't see myself dating a livestock farmer when I rescue livestock. We just wouldn't hit it off.

[MHinFox]

Well Wiley I have to be honest...LOL I am a little more romanticaly inclined than the viewpoint you offered...LOL I love a little passion and romance! But I agree it is a different thing for different folks. I also agree with your concept of partnership should develope where manythings don't need words...they should have a natural flow to them...:)...LOL I actually enjoy spoiling my partner sometimes seems to be lots of fun and oh course dont mind a little as well. I am one of those folks who likes to discuss things openly and honest up front in an effort to avoid things getting tedious for folks ....I always believed if you have an issue you sit and discuss it. Find the viewpoints, compromise where you can't or at least agree to some form of settling the issue. I always believed most of them can be settled pretty well if both sides make an effort without everything being just one way. LOL does take a open minded approach to work out though..:)

OH Yea LOL Thanks Paul for the support...LOL...Can use all the help I can get...rofl...

Daffidill I apologize-evidently i didnt get my idea across right. I am fine with vegans and vegetarians. Even tried it myself for a short while. I am ok even with Peta having their own views. LOL not everyone in the world is always in agreement, and is way it should be. But I do not follow Petas viewpoints or take chewings well...LOL (from Peta folks). I just found a few combinations of the two who when read my profile began an attack to tell me of my evil ways...LOL..I even answered politely....I believe much as Native americans do (part of my ethinic background) taking a life of an animal is a sacred thing ...only for food not sport nor the pleasure of killing, even though the hunt itself is cause for excitement. I try to honor all of mother earth in all my ways of dealing with her. Thanks for the insight to the viewpoint and i do agre with you they are not one in the same quite often...LOL and I really don't believe all of Peta is evil, they have brought some bad conditions to light sometimes in past...that is a good thing sometimes. Cruelity is never right....Thanks guys for the interesting insights ....good points to be learned here...:) LOL I am really laughing at myself and Paul LOL way I have gardened over the years LOL a vegetarin should reall like me ROFL at myself.....

[firefightermom]

Hi. I'm new at this, so please bare with me. I agree with MHinFox on many of his points. I also am in agreement with most posts. I am not a vegan but my ex-husband married a lady that was. She scared the (you know what) out of my daughter when she went there for the summer. My daughter was there cutting up a carrot for lunch and she (the step-mother) flipped out about the soul of the carrot crying out in agony. Folks, teach me (I'm not here to argue, I honestly don't know) how do I talk to my child and explain to her what happened, when I myself don't have a clue.My daughter is now 20 and she still talks about this event that happened 2 years ago. We have a farm, we hunt for meat ONLY but how do I explain and teach my children another veiw point (the vegan way) when this lady just blew up at my daughter and started to yell at her instead of explianing/teaching her?
ALso, abt. relationships...I am married (just had our 15th) and WE have BOTH changed from when we first got together. At first we had tried to do the equal chores around the farm/house. That soon ended after the first 2 yrs. Mom goes to work, does the house work, gardening, cleaning the chicken coop, collect eggs, feed cows, pigs, butcher the deer with 13y/o son after going hunting ect.. and taking care of anything else that has an odor to it. Dad goes to work, sits down, takes a shower and wants to know when dinner is going to be done, watches t.v.
Mom needs a break! Vacation...(his) was taken w/the children; mom stayed home to run the farm and go to work. Mom would love for some attention, he don't seem to have the time, COPS is on t.v. For our 15th anniv. mom cooked his favorite meal, made desert, cleaned house, did chores, bought a bottle of sparkling grape juice (I don't drink). He watched t.v, said "whats all this for?" ate, showered went to bed. Not the same man I married and he don't want to talk about it. Figures that the issues/problems will just "go away". What to do???????

[WileyCoyote]

I know I'll catch heck for this but Firefightermom, if you are already doing all of the work, what on earth do you need HIM for?

27 years and if DH acted that way he would find himself in the street posthaste. And he's been crippled, disabled, and walked with a cane for 5 years! But betcherazz he still does laundry, makes supper, and bakes bread, as well as builds things, repairs things, and helps take care of the chickens, horse, and dogs. If your DH isn't doing the best he can for the household with what skills and abilities he has, he is taking advantage of you. Period. As long as you put up with it, he has it made.

If DH EVER went on a vacation without me - even when he was hale and hearty - he would've come home to locks changed and his crap in the yard, and a paper service waiting on him. (Of course, I'd let the kids in.) The only reason he and I have EVER been apart was for work, and last year when he physically couldn't explore all of the places we were looking at to move, so I took DD with me instead.

Yes, people change. And if they change that much they need a reality check - desperately.

[firefightermom]

Thank you WileyCoyote for being honest w/your reply.No catching heck from me.
You have opened my eyes to a different view. And made me realize that there are things that HAVE TO BE ADDRESSED in our marriage. I need to get his attention, and I found out that hitting him on the head with my cast iron frying pan isn't the best thing to do; and just think of the dent in my pan..ouch LOL.He is just going to have talk with me, get things worked out like adults and face facts. All this can be done without yelling and having blood pressure rise. We can come to an understanding and an agreement. I want this to work out. 15 years is a long time to work at something and to have it fall apart is not the intended result. HOWEVER, your point of view of him taking advantage was something I did not relize was happining. I guess I want to believe things will work out. He does do some things around here, he does go to work each day and come home every night. He has never yelled, hit or cheated on me and I can say the same. BUT, to have this farm and marraige work, it takes two of us to do equal work. And I am not getting a good night sleep on the couch (my choice lol). The "silent treatment" stops today! If he don't want to talk and work things out, then I feel his silence has spoken loudly and I need to wake up. Its going to take time to work/figure this out. Thanks for enlightening me.

[momma_to_seven_chi]

how to meet some of the homestead/self sufficent ladies


Farm auctions. If you want to meet a type of person, then go to the type of things the person would be attending. Farm auctions, homeschool conventions, flea markets, certain book sections in libraries and book stores, etc. Hang out at Lehmans for a while. You would find that type of woman in places that appeal to homesteading type people.