Single Female, Does not want to homestead alone.

[Cybelec]

I am a 40 yr old female, I am very interested in homesteading but can't even think about doing it alone, mostly because of the loneliness. I don't mind the work but having no one to share some laughs with would do me in.

[the_grizz]

I am recruiting for my brother,38 the end of May,single,very survival orientated,hard worker, christian,loves hunting and fishing,gardens, talented musically. 6' 1" 200 pounds never been married no kids. I pray for the Lord to send him someone to be a mate and friend for him! Located in OK will more than likely not relocate,My brothers and I do not like crowds the rest of us are married. Outside of Family we all have the same lifelong friends

[Cybelec]

Sorry, I'm a Pagan. Just another problem I face meeting people

[msta999]

"Pagan!?" I believe the early Scandinavians were Pagan. Any relation? ;D

[Cybelec]

No scandanavian, I am Gaelic, through & through, Irsh & French, a little Chippewa, an all american mutt. :D

[msta999]

No scandanavian, *I am Gaelic, through & through, Irsh & French, a little Chippewa, an all american mutt. :D

Oh Boy! Sounds like trouble. ;)

HAY! Our ancestors may have met. Mine were all over the countries over there. ;D

[logansackett]

As a pagen, are you a witch or do you follow another path?

[Cybelec]

No I do not consider myself a witch, nor do I engage in group practices such as a coven. I consider myself a child of nature.

[msta999]

So it is kind of like, the way the native American Indians worshiped the spirits of Mother Nature? Wind, Animals, Earth....?

[Cybelec]

Exactly, I have much more in common with native american practices then say WICCA.

[msta999]

Had to ask, Pagan, if you look it up, kind of sounds like it has several different kinds of followings.
Some of those WICCA outfits look pretty good on women. ;)

[logansackett]

So more of a respect for mother nature than a religion. I would agree with that philosophy.

[Katlady]

If anyone runs up on a country man in Georgia that's want to help out on a small mountain place I'd love to talk to him. But at 51 I wonder sometimes if there are men that really do want an older woman? Cylebec, it's not as hard as it sounds to do some of the homestead stuff alone. It's not having someone to share the garden when it comes in with that gets me. The work stuff I can mostly do by myself but I just don't want to any more. Must be that OLD Age thing!

[Txanne]

If anyone runs up on a country man in Georgia that's want to help out on a small mountain place I'd love to talk to him. But at 51 I wonder sometimes if there are men that really do want an older woman? Cylebec, it's not as hard as it sounds to do some of the homestead stuff alone. It's not having someone to share the garden when it comes in with that gets me. The work stuff I can mostly do by myself but I just don't want to any more. Must be that OLD Age thing!

Kat---couldnt resisit--- ;D

Do men want an older woman??

NOPE!!!

Know why?

Cause we have smartened up---we will put up with a whole lot less----we need loyalty---honesty and matureity.

I have run into a whole load of guys that just want a soft place to fall.[[aka--a mommie--to cook clean and whatever]]

And many many of the guys i have come to know--well---as well as you can--are married---great guys---they are took up already. ;D


Good luck---txanne

[WileyCoyote]

Kat---couldnt resisit--- ;D

Do men want an older woman??

NOPE!!!

Know why?

Cause we have smartened up---we will put up with a whole lot less----we need loyalty---honesty and matureity.

I have run into a whole load of guys that just want a soft place to fall.[[aka--a mommie--to cook clean and whatever]]

And many many of the guys i have come to know--well---as well as you can--are married---great guys---they are took up already. ;D


Good luck---txanne


DITTO, annie! So true!

[logansackett]

Just a guys 2 cents, whats wrong with a soft place to land?

[Katlady]

I'm OK with that soft place for a guy to land as long as he digs the hole himself!!! Deb

[Txanne]

Just a guys 2 cents, whats wrong with a soft place to land?

Not a thing---as long as he is coming home from HIS job --in HIS vehicle to a place HE helps to take care of and pay for!! ;D

Txanne

[Txanne]

Just a guys 2 cents, whats wrong with a soft place to land?

BTW---are ya looking for one? [[a soft place to fall?









Txanne ::)

[logansackett]

Kat, a guy does'nt land in a hole, he falls. He digs his way out.
Anne- I aint a fallin, I'm a circling overhead looking for a SAFE place to land.
I believe you and kat could be a might dangerous
not that that is a bad thing.

[logansackett]

:)

[Txanne]

Kat, a guy does'nt land in a hole, he falls. He digs his way out.
Anne- I aint a fallin, I'm a circling overhead looking for a SAFE place to land.
I believe you and kat could be a might dangerous
not that that is a bad thing.


Could be----But at least we're honest huh?

And btw---safe is very very good.


txanne

[Txanne]

:)



you cutie---you.

txanne ;)

[logansackett]

awww shucks ma'am

[dreamer]

Let me get this right. You are looking for a guy that can do his own laundry, cook, work on the homestead, clean house when needed and possibly work a regular job and be loyal to his significant other? Oh and be happy with his life?

[stilltryinat50]

Hhmmmm....guess we all have our scars :(

[Txanne]

Let me get this right. You are looking for a guy that can do his own laundry, cook, work on the homestead, clean house when needed and possibly work a regular job and be loyal to his significant other? Oh and be happy with his life?


You'll get over it-----it only hurts for a little while!! ;)


Txanne

[logansackett]

Let me get this right. You are looking for a guy that can do his own laundry, cook, work on the homestead, clean house when needed and possibly work a regular job and be loyal to his significant other? Oh and be happy with his life?
Uhm thats me.

[logansackett]

except for the significant other part.

[Cybelec]

Thanx Kat Lady, I feel less nervous about the work, because I read good magazines like Backwoods Home, which always has articles by the likes of Claire Wolf, Jackie Clay and Dorthy Ainsworth. It's really the loneliness, that worries me most.

[dreamer]

I do and enjoy doing all those things. But I may be doing all of it by myself some were els soon. Any ideas? Were?

[Txanne]

Thanx Kat Lady, I feel less nervous about the work, because I read good magazines like Backwoods Home, which always has articles by the likes of Claire Wolf, Jackie Clay and Dorthy Ainsworth. It's really the loneliness, that worries me most.


Dying alone---is my only fear----and Claire Wolf rocks.


Txanne

[tomato204]

Cybelec~ Please check your PM's. ;D

[ryanmercer]

I'll sign up! hahaha I might be 23, but that just means you can work me harder!

[stew]

Sorry, I'm a Pagan. Just another problem I face meeting people

I don't see any difference between 'pagan' and 'christian' - ever read "The Two Babylons" Hislop?
Christianity just absorbed / adopted all the pagan ideas, surely you realise that? Christmas, mistletoe, Yule log; Easter, Easter eggs; etc, etc,. You're not so different from Mr Nice Christian.
You just worship the same thing in a different way.

;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D 8)

[Northern_bushrat]

If homesteading is your passion, dream and heart & soul, I say, go for it girl! You may not meet a compatible significant other in the non-homesteading life, so why not take the risk, see how lonely it really is and do it by yourself? This is assuming you're not already doing it....That way at least you're doing what you want to do. You can meet people and share by joining organizations like Women Welcome Women Worldwide, or Willing Workers on Organic Farms, or offer retreats. Homesteading alone does not have to equal never having a soul around.
We live out in the bush and are having a hard time with our relationship. Should we split up, there's no question for me that I'd keep on trucking out here although chances to get together with someone again would probably be close to nil. This is what makes me happy, what I know and love, what will be here for me as long as I live...not something the average relationship lives up to.

[Cybelec]

Stew I agree, I was raised Catholic which is honestly almost Pagan. Bushrat thanx for the encouragemnet. I really don't fear the hardwork, all my friends will tell you that I will move a mountain with a shovel if I want, it really is the lonliness, the organizations you mention are great but workers come for only short periods of time. But hey look at Jackie Clay, she's got a new beau.

[stew]

Cybelec,
I don't envy your search, I waited 5 years before i found my perfect sweetheart, but it was worth the wait! Just need to be patient & to keep an open mind, and you will find a man who will fit into your life perfectly.
I have to say, an independent, go-getter as you appear to be, will attract attention, don't worry, just get started.
Hope it works out.

stew

[stilltryinat50]

Hang in there friend. Hope you find a soul mate soon. :)

[gentlehorse]

Well cybelic; your all the way across country from me and I'm wanting the same thing so maybe we can homestead together on the forum for awhile. * :)

[Cybelec]

Well, I am not worrying to much lots of adventures with friends this summer so I am kept busy. Went to MAPS meet, lots of nice men unfortunately, most were married.

[moshrash]

I think being single, is the only thing holding me back from taking the plunge into this lifestyle. sure loneliness is part of it, after all it would be nice to be able to share your trials/achievements with someone, but from a practical standpoint, who is gonna watch my stuff while am at work? having said that,

SWM, 42 brown/brown seeks sugar mama with massive acreage for friendship, stuff watching, and or LTR

[dreamer]

How much homesteading do you do now? Are you able to do any where you live?

[MHinFox]

Homesteading alone has its challenges...one of the greatest is there are usually no population centers around to have a chance to meet folks. Small towns close by do not offer much selection, and usually are an issue for "new folks " in area. I travel a lot doing sustainable living and gardening seminars for the public for free...but usually do it more as a hobbie...and seldom try to mingle like I should. Living in the boondocks is so nice though I guess I will continue to look and still do my thing. hang in there it often works out when you least expect it to.

[MHinFox]

OH yea..LOL...being pagan is a wary look for some but many find it very interesting and exciting

[Gwynyvyr]

Do men want an older woman??
NOPE!!!
Know why?
Cause we have smartened up---we will put up with a whole lot less----we need loyalty---honesty and matureity.
I have run into a whole load of guys that just want a soft place to fall.[[aka--a mommie--to cook clean and whatever]]


Annie, as you know, I found a fella that appreciates older women...especially THIS older woman!
;D

He already had kids--and a vasectomy--so that wasn't an issue.
We met on The Gulch, so we were both focused on the same goals and dreams.
And after seeing each other on web cam we already thought each other was hot! :D
We talked online for TWO YEARS before we met in person.
INSTANT CHEMISTRY!
(The only thing I was really worried about, heh)
We are making plans for when he retires, already picked a place to put our homestead, looking for property now!

He is 15 years younger than me, btw! *;)

[Michael32170]

Cybelec, yes we are more than willing to be with older women. It is purely dependent on the personalities. A 51 year old woman who wants to sent in the rocking chair and watch the grandchildren, is not one for me.

I just screwed up a great deal with a 52 yr old woman ( actually we both screwed it up). All because it got too hot and furious too quickly for either.

When I'm 90, she'll be the one I look back at and remember dearly....Its all in the mind and personality.

[tumbleing_dice]

I can relate,My cabin is 15 minutes to a great Chinese buffet in one direction and 200 miles of mostly boonies in the other.
being alone if you are used to people is not as fun

[Michael32170]

We all make mistakes....I just make more than others do.

[GoodDaughter]

Quote ..."I think the lonliness, and lack of someone to talk with and share experiences with, is what has been holding me back from moving from the city to the land site."

It sounds like you're going to be lonely no matter where you are, city or country, so why not go ahead and make the move? I still enjoy doing things even though I do them alone.

Maybe if you were already out on your land, you'd find a nice lady in that area?

[12vman]

I use my homestead as my filter. I meet women and tell them.."This is just about the way it is".. LOL

Most run! ;D

[flatwater]

Hows that working out for you 12voltman ?
flatwater

[gregabob]

I use my homestead as my filter. I meet women and tell them.."This is just about the way it is".. LOL

Most run! * ;D
Smart move! Good way to weed out the ones who aren't ready for the self-reliant lifestyle. But you'll eventually hit upon someone who IS ready-and there you go! I'm fully prepared to be alone for a good while after I move to wherever I end up. Not going to try to convince a gal to be more self-reliant. Either she will want to,or wont. Not interested in trying to 'change' someone- ::)

[12vman]

Hows that working out for you 12voltman ?
flatwater

It seems "OK" 'till they need to go to the bathroom.. LOL

The sawdust toilet sure gets their attention. ;)

[GoodDaughter]

Why would you wring a chicken's neck? Even my great grandma Machtilde used a little axe ::) Ah now there was a woman to emulate! 6 ft. tall, weighed probably 230, most of it muscle. Once saw her chop the head off of what had to be a 40 lb. tom turkey. That thing would have taken flight after it's head came off if great grandma hadn't had it firmly by the legs. She leaned back and let it flap, said it would get all the blood out of it's body and make nice white meat. I once attempted to hold onto a much smaller tom when I beheaded it, and the thing nearly beat me to death. I guess I didn't have Machtilde's strength.

Now that I've said that.... may I be a b****? The attitude that I've read from the occasional man posting here looking for a mate sometimes just amazes me. Women coming to this board reading about how women these days just don't use wood cookstoves and couldn't be bothered to boil water or budge away from the mall.... No offense meant guys, but do you think coming here and posting such vinegar is going to catch you many bees? Speaking as a woman, I'd run away from a man if I heard him in person saying half the things I read here...

Just my two cents worth. Not trying to offend.

[Catalpa]

GoodDaughter, I'm glad you said something...I was kind of thinking the same thing.

I would find it off-putting, too, the attitude that shows. Kind of an arrogant "well all women are tied to the malls, can't be bothered to use a woodstove" etc.

Two sides to this:

1. Women are the ones who keep hearth and home, care for the children, and prepare the meals. All of that work is difficult enough using an electric stove and indoor plumbing, and while it might be soul-satisfying, it is much harder to do all that while chopping wood and hauling water, too. They will also be concerned about the availability of medical care for the children.

2. Give credit where credit is due. There are women who are tough enough, smart enough, and skilled enough to make a life out in the countryside, away from the malls and the cities. But you're expecting them to drop everything, leave family and friends, to go to your land on your terms.

Just doesn't sound good, IMHO.

Now I myself don't much care for shopping malls or cities; though I like to order books over the internet. I like to live simply, garden, can and preserve. I can shoot, run a tractor, drive a truck, cut, split and stack the wood. I can shoot a deer and gut it; raise chickens and put them in the pot. I would love to get married some day and homestead with a partner - but it has to be a fifty-fifty thing, not just on the man's terms.

This is not to antagonize anyone, just giving you a woman's perspective.

[GoodDaughter]

I'm really not trying to antagonize either. You said it a lot more clearly than I did. For example, if I were looking for a suitable man (I hate the phrase 'like-minded'--don't ask me why but it makes me just cringe) and went through websites like this one, where I thought I might find such a man, and ended up reading things like some of these posts-- well, let's just say I would pass over that kind of man as someone I would consider contacting. I personally would take that kind of post as meaning that women today are just too lazy and stupid and want nothing but a life of ease, and not interested in anything other than their manicures and salon appointments. While none of that applies to me, I would still pass over such a man because it implies a general attitude toward women in general. Throwing out the baby with the bath water, I'd guess you might say.

Catalpa, I can do all the things you can do, and I can do some things men can do, but I can't do everything, and some things I just wouldn't want to. No one person, man or woman, is going to be able to totally fulfill another's dream.

Something else that I wonder about is the physical beauty factor. When, as you say, women do the home keeping and wood chopping and hauling, gardening, etc etc etc., they're going to show it, physically. I'll tell you what my great grandma Machtilde looked like, and for that matter my grandmother---they looked hard. They were strong and healthy, but they were sunburnt, age-spotted, prematurely gray (I'm completely gray now and I'm only 43). They were not slim except when ill. A slim, frail woman could not do the kind of work required. They had no manicures, no nail polish, no trips to the hair salon. They wore simple dresses of cotton check, aprons, cotton lisle stockings and brogans. They wore their white hair up in tight buns, wore no makeup, did not wax their eyebrows or anything else. Their hands were often not soft, but callused, scarred and covered in wrinkles, liver spots, and were large knuckled. Their simple wedding band (often bought many years after they were acutally married because they were poor when married) would fit loosely on fingers worn thin with decades of work. And they looked like this when they were in their 50's and 60's, not late in life.

They worked so very hard to live the kind of simple life many of the men say they want to share with a woman. But I really do wonder if a man is ready for the kind of toll a life like this takes on a woman? A woman who lives this way will NOT resemble a 'city woman' who cannot boil water or wring a chicken's neck. City women dont'work out in the heat and cold all the time, getting physically dirty, getting minor injuries to hands, arms, legs, feet while doing homestead chores, doing without a lot of things like makeup because, lets face it, who is going to put on makeup and go out in the 99 degree heat in the summer and rake out the henhouse? Or change the oil in the hooptie? Or leave the dangly earrings and necklaces and the diamond tennis bracelet inside because they can get caught up in tools or machinery and rip off an appendage. Dainty bras? Hah, I laugh. If a woman has more than a handful, and she bends over to do something wearing one of those demi-cups, she's going to fall right out of it.

Myself--going on a limb here-- I take care of myself. I use moisturizer and sunblock. But my face is freckled, my hair is now a soft, curly gray, my eyes are still bright blue but they have some crow's feet at the corners from squinting in the sun so many years. Lips still full and red but maybe not quite as plump as they were in my 20's and 30's. My hands are a bit scarred, nails short for safety and sanitary purposes, palms are callused, strong and wide although small. My knuckles are starting to bulge a bit, arthritis is setting in to every joint in my fingers, wrist, thumbs. Skin on hands and arms is brown, freckled, yes, and some liver spots. No pretty, soft hands with white acrylic nails here. I WORK with my hands. My shoulders are probably a bit wider than most women, because the nature of the work I've done for most of my adult life requires a lot of heavy lifting. I don't wear makeup anymore, it causes my face to itch. I'm told it's a minor case of rosacea. I visit the hair salon approx twice or thrice a year to have my hair long layered. I trim in between visits. Hair is worn up in a tight bun most of the time. If I were much taller and heavier, I'd look a lot like my great grandmother Machtilde. Or my grandma May. And you know what? That suits me just fine. Those were women of real character, great strength and faith so unmovable that death was not feard, but thought of as a blessed release from suffering and lonliness.

And I really, truly wonder how many men would be willing to take one a 'homesteading' woman if he realized what a life of this kind of hard work does to a soft, pliable, 'trophy' wife.

[WileyCoyote]

GoodDaughter, if this forum gave "reps" you would get 100 from me today!!!

That is sooooo true. Every word.

I'm a SLUF (short little ugly female) and I make no bones about it. I really don't care about the "high life" - but I used to live in the 'big city', with perfectly coiffed hair, high heels, and dresses every single day, as well as a whole host of silk shirts, pants, and dresses. My "designer clothes" were all Diane Von Furstenburg - and I even wore the glasses with her name on them, and her perfume! I had perfect makeup every day, and had a closet full of well-used evening gowns. I can plan a meal for 5 to 5000 without blinking, from invitations thru caterers - I had it all, and did it all.

So what. Now I have long grey hair in a bun, wear jeans, and thick coats and hats -and gloves when I remember to. My hands are scarred and my arms have age spots. I can raise or kill and butcher my own meat, grow my own vegies from hoe to row, and tkae no guff from either a stubborn rooster or a stubborn man. My saving grace was that I married DH 26 years ago, and told him up front what I REALLY wanted out of life. We worked together toward it, and finally threw away the high life for our joy.

What KILLS me is all of the men who came up to me as we were leaving. "Wow, I had NO IDEA you were that way! I always wanted to do that too!" I invarably would shoot back - "Yeah, so why dontcha?" They always have some excuse; their wives/girlfriends/children/ /responsibilities/work/friends/expectations. Paugh. Let them stay right where they are and dream. I'm living my dream. And if DH bites the big one, for sure I won't go looking for a man who wants a trophy wife or one who can only dream - but one who is tough and solid and hardworking I might - but only MIGHT!- let in the door. I'd rather be alone than listen to what some men think would be "the perfect woman" when they have no idea that women have as many facets as a precious jewel. At least DH knows it, knew it a long time ago, and treated me like one.

[GoodDaughter]

Wiley, I'm glad to hear that you and your hubby match so well, in all those ways. That's wonderful!

I really don't want to come across as a man-basher. I don't dislike men--on the contrary!! ;D (yeah, I know you're laughing, you-know-who!) I do like men. I just think that sometimes there are some unrealistic expectations about ability, suitability, and physical looks.

You know, I have a wringer washer in the shed, and I used to use it all the time, it made chores kind of fun. Till my hands started getting so dry the skin cracked and bled. I use it sometimes, but not all the time now. And even wearing gloves, running that log splitter will scrape up your arms just moving the wood around. My shins and thighs are chronically bruised from running into things, carrying things, and just plain working on things. I'm not careless. Never a broken bone or anything like that; just they myriad little owies you get from working around the place all the time.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that when you do these kinds of things, they are going to manifest themselves physically in some way, at some point, and as the years go by, they're only going to get worse. I know it's common for women to be gorgeous well into their 70's these days, but it takes a soft life and a LOT of maintenance to look that way.

I never really liked the soft life, even when I was a little girl. I always wanted to play outside and pick flowers and wild blueberries and get all grubby making mud pies and crawdad castles (you know, where you go along carefully breaking off the crawdad castles in the yards and ditches and then carefully glueing them back together with mud to form big crawdad palaces? Don't know if any crawdads ever moved into the palaces though). And of course I'd tag along with great grandma Machtilde or Gramma May because the things they did were always so much fun. Often messy and hard, but fun.

[bee_pipes]

I have really enjoyed the last few posts - Catalpa, GoodDaughter, WileyCoyote. Glad to see you three women are so practical. You are my kind of women, and if I was in the market, you'd be at the top of my list.

Between TV and advertising there are unrealistic expectations of what people should look like and how they should live. Got to give them credit, they are effective in getting their message across, but then again, heroin is pretty effective at creating a need in the user - neither are healthy. If you can live in a city and keep the hard parts of living at bay - splitting wood, making food through livestock and produce, building and all the other things that go with making your own life, you can probably avoid the scars, muscle and other results from living life to it's fullest. Then you wind up with cute little barbie women and guys that look beefy but lose their muscle mass if they miss a day at the gym. We won't even visit the absurdity of cosmetic surgery.

I met my wife on the internet. It was too much of a chore to meet women in real life - there were too many unsuitable types to cull through. At the time I was living in the city and working - not a good place to find the other unhappy rebels - like Wiley, they had to take on the protective coloring of work place attire. They're out there, though. Grown women that want a real man and are not fooled by the delusion that all men should look like Tom Sellic (sp?). And there are more of us out there - looking for a grown woman and not some sort of barbie doll child that cant' work something more difficult than a credit card. The funny thing is, if you find someone that can't get by on looks, they have to develop other parts of themselves - like their brains - to get through life.The ones that have looks going for them - well, the brains and personalities seem to atrophy from lack of exercise. Both sexes seem to have members that are stunted - they never needed to adapt and adjust to life. Of course, there are exceptions to every rule, but makeup and clothes are sure signs for me of high maintenance. Reading is a good indication of an active mind. My wife likes word puzzles and such - crosswords and sudoku - that brain is constantly working.

Me and my wife clean up nice, for the rare occasions where we go out - usually a get-together with neighbors or a special occasion, but the rest of the time we're in jeans and boots. Our idea of entertainment is not going out. We enjoy working around the homestead. Before we had the homestead, our idea of a vacation was camping and kayaking - we wanted to play outside - not stay in a hotel and shop (ugh!).

If the folks posting here sound too superficial, check out matchmaker and the dozens of other singles sites. That's where we met. We wrote to each other for a month before meeting face to face. Once we realized who we were talking to, we burned up the internet with all the emails going back and forth. She realized she had a man that knew how to cook for himself and work a washing machine. I found a woman that wanted to do stuff for herself and not wait on some man to take care of her.

We've been married five years now - both of us had marriages that didn't work because we didn't really know what we wanted and how to go about finding someone that wanted the same thing. Neither of us are kids, but youth is another myth. I found my 40's were the best years of my life, and the 50's promise to be even better! Now that we have someone covering our backs, life just keeps getting better.

Regards,
pAT

[jen_in_southtexas]

Well said ladies!

Some people who have never done the country life before are in for a real surprise. It isnt exactly birds singing, lovely meadows of beautiful wildflowers and kisses of sunshine on your face. IT IS HARD WORK but there are still us women that actually enjoy it and find personal satisfaction in it. I too, like Catalpa and Good Daughter, can shoot, can fish, hunt AND dress out/fillet my food. I pound in tposts, put up fencing, bbq alot, cut my own wood, hitch up a trailer and haul stuff, tend to my own acreage, if something is broke i will try to fix it UNLESS it is beyond my knowledge/ability. I refuse to pay someone to do something for me if i have the equipment/ability to do it myself but i will ask for help when i absolutely need it. I probably see my hairdresser 3times a year for a haircut, dont see reason for manicures but a waste of time and money. I work in a plant with my hands NOT in an office with foo-foo hairstyles and foo foo nails and foo foo clothes. By mid morning, my hands have already done and seen alot and are stained with process, slurry, anti-seize, grease, oil, dirt, bauxite, have walked up and down a million stairs and go ahead and throw in a busted knuckle or ripped finger. By this time also, my just washed coveralls look like they havent been washed in two weeks. When i get home and although single with no kids, my work isnt done. I will then drive the 120mile round trip to my property and continue with my project and do whatever else needs done at least twice a week. My weekends are always tied up with my chores and projects by choice.

I hate shopping. My exbf use to have to convince me thru some sweet talk just to get me to go. It is usually the other way around…lol. I am useasy in big crowds. My daily attire out of work usually involves my steel toed lace up boots with shorts and a tshirt/tanktop(since it feels like summer year round) . I usually get stared at when I walk into a store like that and I don’t know if that is a good thing or a bad thing. But I like me and and confident with myself and my way of life at eL Chiquito Ranch on my own terms and I need NO ONES approval. It is what it is and what you see is what you get. I waited a long time to live the life I have always wanted and am happy with myself.

I clean up nice but there is a time for that. Like Good Daughter, I am broad across the shoulders, my arms are solid, solid legs/calves. Im not skinny just broad all around. I laugh when someone asks me what kind of a workout I do. I tell them,”..come spend a morning with me at work and a weekend with me at my place.”

Catalpa...I too would someday like to homestead with a man. But like you said, it would have to be a fifty fifty thing not just his terms. And i am not going anywhere when ive got my little piece of land.

Wiley, you are so right on when you said “I’d rather be alone than listen to what some men think would be the perfect woman when they have no idea that women have as many facets as a precious jewel”

Good daughter, you hit the nail on the head too when you said, “I just think that there are some unrealistic expectations about ability, suitability, and physical looks.” Soooo so true. Ive worked around a lot of men and have heard that conversation a hundred times over. I just roll my eyes. Seems like they want someone soft that is on the submissive/passive side who will do what they tell them too. Ughhhh!

Would I trade all of this for the soft Barbie life? Hell no!! I am happy to finally start living my dream with no one to tell me what I should or shouldn’t do. I work hard and honestly and pay my own way. And hats off to the ladies who choose this life. I commend you. And bee-pipes sir, my hats off to you too.

-jen
eL Chiquito Ranch
Deep South Texas Brush Country

[WileyCoyote]

I'm not a man-hater either; honest! "Some of my best friends are men." ;D But men who are my friends love me and know me for who I am, and I love them for the same reasons; we are all multifaceted, all have different talents and abilities, and when we can make those work together, side by side, in ANY endeavor, it is very comforting.

I guess what really sets me off is the guys who post ads (and not just in BHM!) looking for women. They almost ALWAYS specify looks and age - and mostly that age is 10 years younger or more than they are!!! *::) Get real. What young, intelligent, hardworking younger girl or woman is going to go for an older man who so obviously is interested in surface appearances - unless she is a predator who plans on conning him out of his property and even his soul? And what guy REALLY believes he is some kind of sexy Tom Sellick or Mountain Jim to not only keep a sweet young thing satisfied - but to keep up with her working around the homestead?

If you buy two matched horses, do you do it on looks - or on performance? Would you put a two-year-old filly in harness with a 10-year old stud for any other reason than to teach the younger one to do the same work as the older? And which one starts sluffing off if they can get away with it? Unless two horses or two humans are equally matched, in both thought and effort, all the pretty colors in the world don't matter - they'll both wreck your buggy.

[flatwater]

Good post Wiley C. When I first met my wife she was driving an old 76 ford 4x4 with P S. She got so nervious she backed into a big boulder. Bent the exhaust pipe. She got out put on a pair of gloves and bent the thing back. What really impressed me at that one incident was the fack she had the good since to put on a pair of gloves , Two monthe later we were married. The fact that she fished and hunted didn't hurt.

[Catalpa]

Wow, there have been some good posts here! Wiley, Jen, GoodDaughter, all I can say is "Amen, Sisters!" I'm glad to know I'm not the only woman wearing jeans and workboots every day. ;D

Pat, thanks for your input - it's nice to think that maybe there's still someone out there for me even though there's no eligible men within sight, and I'm rapidly approaching (gasp!) 50!

Flat, shucks, man, where were you when I had to replace the battery to ground cable on my pickup in the Meijer's parking lot one night? The fact I had tools with me and managed to do it myself should have merited a proposal, don't you think? ;) ;D (I'll admit that I had to call my brother and get a few pointers.)

It really is a matter of perspective. While I try to take care of myself, I'm certainly much more the sturdy, squarely built peasant woman working the fields rather than the princess in the castle. The princess is a whole lot prettier to look at, but she's likely to be a lot higher maintenance.

My idea of a dream date would be a fellow with a good Christian heart, whiskers on his face, a twinkle in his eye, and a brawny set of shoulders who offers to come over and split all my firewood and help me stack it. Then we could have venison chops on the grill and watch the stars come out.

Yeah, I'm a single female who does not want to homestead alone, but I'll not be sitting around waiting for someone to realize I'm worth it. I've got too much to do as I work toward a more self-sufficient lifestyle. I'll work hard, pray hard, and trust God for the future.

[gregabob]

Catalpa-your last paragraph sums it up-for guys as well as gals. Great posts, all of you! 8)

[12vman]

I'm seriously a fish out of water in my area. There are very few (if any) women that can even imagine what my goals and thoughts are around here.

I (we) recently ended a 9 year relationship that wasn't going anywhere. Her goals and mine were just too much different.

She wanted to climb the opportunity ladder to become an RN which was great but not within the budget. She decided to go for a couple of student loans and of course, I let her. (Understand that her and I wasn't married.) She attended classes at 2 different colleges and failed miserably. Knowing her as I do, I knew that this was a goal that would be very difficult for her to obtain. She ended up working low wage jobs far away from home that cost her as much to get there as she made. It turned into a very bad situation that put a huge burden on me. The student loans were coming due and she wasn't attending classes anymore.

I didn't have the heart to tell her straight up that I felt that this goal would be more than she could chew. I just let her find out for herself. I supported her through the whole ordeal but it came to the point of me losing what I have.

Through one of her jobs, she was given the opportunity to move to a different state to work for them. It's not an RN position but not bad money with good benefits. She decided to take it.

To me, this was like a blessing in disguise! I didn't have to be the monster to throw her out and she ended up with a decent job in her field! Granted, she isn't going to have any fun in her financial future but I believe that I've been through enough of her chasing her tail. And, being the tender hearted person that I am, I probably would have went down with the ship.

She never figured it out. I already had security for her and it was right under her nose. I have a working homestead in a low crime area with fantastic neighbors. If she wanted to help with the finances, all she had to do is work a part time job and be happy with it.

I knew that she would fail in her venture when she decided to pursue it. Her demeanor wasn't what it takes to be in that position. It was a competition thing with her parents and her successful brother and sister. She wanted to show her parents that she could be someone too because her past was pretty rocky with them. (They even took her son away from her) Needless to say, she has issues.

I guess my point is that she was here but not really. (If that makes sense) She reaped the harvest of what I provided for her but we never came to a total understanding of what and why I was doing what I'm doing. She enjoyed the superficial but never understood the concept. :-/

I have a lot of sweat equity in this place being that I've built it entirely by myself with my own concepts that do work. I'd be a bit sad to leave it but if I could find happiness somewhere else, I may consider it. 20 years of planning and building would be a lot to let go of.

[stilltryinat50]

Bravo ladies, bravo.....you have spoken well for all of us who dream the Dream.

And, yes, everything you have covered has happened to all of us at one time or another. From the broken things we fix ourselves, to the annoying comments by fellow (male) workers who can't seem to get past a woman's looks to the substance beneath.

And the others who think we are so needy that we will take (and be SO grateful for) any "situation" that they are capable of delivering.

And we seem to be looking for mainly the same thing...a good Christian man who is willing to go 50-50 on life.....not merely to give orders and de-mean everything that we are capable of doing.

May God Bless all of you....and thanks for stating all of our feelings and opinions.

[flatwater]

It's kind of sad, we have a lot of single Homesteaders here that might be a good match but no one wants to move , There are ways to accomplish this don't ya know. I should start a page for Homestead romances only. It would be like cregs list and cover all the states. There are probably thousands of single homesteading minded people out there.

[12vman]

My quote..
I have a lot of sweat equity in this place being that I've built it entirely by myself with my own concepts that do work. I'd be a bit sad to leave it but if I could find happiness somewhere else, I may consider it. 20 years of planning and building would be a lot to let go of.

[12vman]

If anyone has noticed, my post had nothing to do with the phyiscial being. Just the mindset. Believe me, none of the past were of the "Barbie Doll" description by a long shot. I just wanted to make that clear.

It's all in the mind.. 8)
-Don

[kaijafon]

wow! I agree some great posts.

I'm not looking for anyone right now (recently divorced) but I definitely will agree that any man I might choose later, would have to accept me for me. Warts and all. Of course, I would be also accepting him as he is, warts and all.

The problem I had is that the ex had given me all this "we are in agreement with our goals" BS and after the "I do's" he changed his mind and so it turned out that his goals were totally different from mine. Yep, he had lied about them. When questioned, he said he thought he would be able to change me.

It's sad really. A lot of wasted time because of his lies. So now I'm skeptical with anything someone tells me.

Anyways, "girl power"! lol! And here's to being honest....!

[WileyCoyote]

It's OK, 12vman, we love you still. ;D

Just remember guys - when you are in a rural environment, where the selection is limited, and you invite a lady up to your place and she is embarrassed, startled, or put off by you or your lifestyle, the word will quickly spread in the area as to what kind of man you are - the kind who appears to enjoy the 'shock value' rather than the gentle respectfulness, slow and gradual introduction, and warm chuckling explanation.

Women talk.

[12vman]

It's OK, 12vman, we love you still. *;D

Just remember guys - when you are in a rural environment, where the selection is limited, and you invite a lady up to your place and she is embarrassed, startled, or put off by you or your lifestyle, the word will quickly spread in the area as to what kind of man you are - the kind who appears to enjoy the 'shock value' rather than the gentle respectfulness, slow and gradual introduction, and warm chuckling explanation.

Women talk. *



I really don't care. I am what/who I am and honestly, I don't see anything wrong with it/me.

I can explain all day about my mindset and my goals but the realism doesn't really sink in until they actually see the place. That's just the way it is. I don't get any credit for my creativity or my accomplishments because they just plain out don't understand. Sorry about their luck... NEXT! Mebby if I keep "Herding" them through, maybe one of them might stop and try to see the real me. Until then... Their loss.. ;)

-Don

[chicken]

never give up

[huckelberry]

im in the same shape as you sunshine, huck

[cookiecache]

I can, and have homesteaded alone, and with someone. With someone, is much better. Lucky for me, I like women that are stubborn, outspoken, and not willing to put-up with BS.

Those seem to be good traits in a backwoods woman.

[RocketMan]

Hi All,

I hope you don't mind me throwing my hat into this discussion. I see some really good points being made.
I am at a point in my life where sometimes I would like to get something started with a woman, sometimes not so much. I'm in a transition right now, with my job possibly going away next year, my daughter living with me and going to college, trying to fix-up the homestead while living 300+ miles away, and I don't think it's the right time to bring a woman into that situation. I need to get my life together first. I guess I could keep using that excuse when I do move to the homestead and say "well I need to fix this and that first, and re-do those, and get a tractor, etc. before I can bring a woman into the mix."
But, I would like to say to the single ladies who are looking...put yourself out there! If you see a handsome guy at the feed store/hardware store/gas station, go up and start a conversation. Give off that "vibe" that you are available. Guy's can sense that, and I think most guy's are flattered when a woman starts a conversation with them.
As for looks and age, we all know "beauty is in the eye of the beholder." I think a lot of it is in the way you carry yourself. No matter how we would like things to be, it starts with a physical attraction. We all have different likes and dislikes, small or large, short or tall, big breasts or small, facial hair or not (on the guys not the girls) lol.
As for me, I would like a woman who says "What can we accomplish together," not one who says "What can you do for me," and it seems harder and harder to find a woman like that today. I've been divorced for 9 or 10 years, and haven't found her yet. But then, like I said, I'm not seriously looking at the moment...but if she comes along, you just never know. So with that, I give you...me.

http://i213.photobucket.com/albums/cc303/Odie06Magnum/May2008.jpg

[RocketMan]

Well Geez...I didn't mean to scare everyone away!

:-[

[Naughty_Pines]

I'm still looking for a rich woman that would support me in the manner to which I would like to have.

Ohhhhhh, buy me that, ohhhhhhh, this too.

Not so naughty Naughty Pines ;D

[2angels]

I don't think you scared anyone away!! They're just taking it all in!
I am new here and trying to see what others have wrote I believe Flatwater had the best idea to start Homestead Romances!! I am 35 yr old lady and keep dating the wrong ones and divorced one over 10 yrs ago and beleived another for too long. My dream is to have a homestead FAMILY. One that can work together through it all! But the main thing is TOGETHER. I love to chase cows I would do it all day! I can drive about any tractor, run a chainsaw, and am a pretty good shot! I just would like to do it all....together! yes one will rope and the other will castrate but both put in just as much as the other! Is that too hard to find?

[gregabob]

2angels-you sound like the woman of many man's dreams on this site......... 8)

[2angels]

Thank you gregabob--but now how do I find the right one? or the right one find me?

[PaulNKS]

I don't think you scared anyone away!! They're just taking it all in!
I am new here and trying to see what others have wrote I believe Flatwater had the best idea to start Homestead Romances!! I am 35 yr old lady and keep dating the wrong ones and divorced one over 10 yrs ago and beleived another for too long. My dream is to have a homestead FAMILY. One that can work together through it all! But the main thing is TOGETHER. *I love to chase cows I would do it all day! I can drive about any tractor, run a chainsaw, and am a pretty good shot! I just would like to do it all....together! yes one will rope and the other will castrate but both put in just as much as the other! Is that too hard to find?

I'm still laughing at some old memories! *I once went out with a woman that wasn't a skinny bean pole, but she wasn't overweight either. *She looked like a "strong" woman and one that would gladly work right along side her man. *A couple I know had introduced us. *Our first outing was to take her to a cattle sale with me. lol.. she loved it and so did her two small children. *The next outing was to some exhibit of the Tzars of Russia when it toured the US. *The couple that introduced us was funny and when I confided in him and told him that she had too many issues and hadn't been divorced long enough... he interrupted me and said, "But look at the pros... she could carry hedge posts for you!".. I laughed.. If anyone knows what a hedge post is, it is a type of tree we use for fencing... * A very hard wood and very very heavy and we usually cut all our posts 9' long. *

So, 2angels. I had to laugh reading your post... lol *But, you will find a man that wants what you have to offer... Gregabob is right.. you sound like he woman of many man's dream on here.

PaulNKS

[gregabob]

Thank you gregabob--but now how do *I find the right one? or the right one find me?
Start sending PMs to guys that strike your fancy here, and join the conversation in the chat room. You never know where you'll meet someone! ;)

[2angels]

Thank you guys very much! not understanding at first what hedge posts had to do with me I was reading this to a friend that explained "those guys don't know what you look like" I said "so" He said the discription you gave sounds like you are a bit ruff. So the only thing I can do because I'm better with a horse than my computer --I'm 5'7" 130 pounds 34 x27x37. I guess 2 kids add a little because in my pagent days I was 34x24x34. And a hedge post I would hitch a horse and drive it out although I do have a story about getting the truck unstuck off the top of a rock(which I didnot drive it on top of the rock either).
PMs? not sure what that is although my first thought didn't know what PMs and a chat room had to do with each other.

[gregabob]

PM = Personal Message--click on the person's name and it takes you to their profile, and from there you can compose a message. The chat room is fun-we have a good time and have imaginary BBQs and campfires a lot. You sound like a pretty gal-why not post a picture of yourself and your land and critters in the 'Member Photo' section? It's nice to put a face to a name!

[PaulNKS]

Thank you guys very much! not understanding at first what hedge posts had to do with me I was reading this to a friend that explained "those guys don't know what you look like" I said "so" He said the discription you gave sounds like you are a bit ruff.

I apologize.... please don't take that as an insult because I sure didn't mean it that way.. but describing all that you can do, just reminded me of that memory... lol With your description you should be able to do well in finding the right "one". Good luck and I hope you find him.
PaulNKS

[2angels]

No apology needed, no insult taken! I didn't want it to sound like I was complaining! I liked the story! Thank you for sharing! I beleive one story always leads to another! I'm just glad I got good friends that can tell me how I come across sometimes! Expectally when I get upset and I threaten to get Ruger out.......I also have a dog by that name!
And I hope the right one is looking for me too!! I'll invite you to the wedding! Thank you so much!!!

[Photographer]

Ok, I guess..
Seems sometimes what we mean and what we say, can often be misinterpreted...
So, to all the ladies, I do apologize "IF "I have wronged any of you in any way.
That was never my intent.
Now with that having been said, I have been alone now for 17+ years, awaiting my son to graduate from High School. It's a paternal thing, kinda like an obligation/responsibility to ones son. ( since his mother abandoned him)
Now that he's 19, and graduating school in June, I decided to start my own life over, since I'd put it on hold.
And, oh yes, I have been raked over the coals more than once, for being so "selfish"! (What was I thinking?)
Not that I haven't had opportunities to date, I've had them, and I was more concerned with my current than future endeavors. EG: a relationship.
I looked occassionally, for a lady that might be interested in me as a person....Guess that was a mistake also.
I decided to try to find 1 single, ( as in NOT married/separated, not divorced), woman, which might be interested in moving to a nice piece of land and developing a home there upon.
I had a few "encounters" which were a bit unnerving to say the least..
Some were definitely married.
Not my thing.
I was offered to move from here to Miami and live in a 1.5 million dollar home...(I dont want to be "kept")
Then, I was offered a move to Death Valley area where I could work 10 acres as: "slave labor" mind you, as they decided IF I was the right man for them!
No, I don't hold grudges, I learn from my mistakes...
I simply came to this site to se if there were any available ladies, in my own age range, that were also looking....
Most of you ladies here, have their own land and doing their own thing, and very well I might add!
I met an enchanting woman, and she was as tough as nails too!
We got along quite well, for a short time...
She had "her own property", a 12 year old son, and that gal worked her rear end off every day!
I wasn't allowed to feed "her" horses, change a flat on "her" old ford pickup truck, change the oil or even do a tune up.
She had been alone for enough time, that she could not trust anyone to do anything at all in her life.
( I honestly fell head over heels with that woman too!)
But, she wore the pants, and I was just "around..."
So I moved on....
I had one woman come all the way down from Michigan to meet me, and we seemed to be ok for a month or so...then jealousy reared it's head and we went our separate ways.
I am not looking for a princess, or a model mind you, just an ordinary, old-fashioned woman, with virtues and values.
I have them, and I think others should also.
So, if I make reference to something I have encounterd in my years, don't take it personally, it is not meant that all women are cut from the same bolt of cloth, they are not. And the same holds true for the men as well, not all of us sit on the couches, suckin' back a few beers, and watching sports or nascar on tv.
There is one thing we all have in common....we have a desire, (not necessarily a NEED), to have someone in our lives, a person we can trust and care for, as they care for us.
Simple and basic human emotions.
No more, and no less.
Take care of each other!
Bill
(ps) I have removed the "offending" posts from the forum.