bugscufle
06-15-2007, 04:50 PM
I was blessed with being unattractive. Growing up, being unattractive was not all that important. Unattractive kids look somewhat cartoonish and everyone wants to be around Mickey and Goofy. Regrettably, for some of us, teen idols, and then stars, overtake the importance of toons in young people's lives. Lets just say my looks never made the young lasses feel all dreamy. And it certainly didn't help that my mouth kept telling everyone what my hyperactive brain was thinking.
High school and college were awkward, but fortunately, right after college I got drafted. The Army is a wonderful place for unattractive men. Looking drab in the Army is cool. But the Army had just a little bit too much comraderie and besides, you can get your ass shot off. My tush has never been what any woman would call "eye candy", but all the same, I'm fond of it.
Being single is hard. Not everybody is cut out for it. You have to have fortitude to deal with all the incessant, negative tapes replays. Lots of people try being single thinking it will be fun but find a feeling of being alone at night on the ocean. When the land of relationship comes into view, they jump for it and spend their lives in its security. I think that those of us who remain are at least not so afraid of death because we know, at least in part, what it feels like.
But I wouldn't want you to think it is all down-side. You have the time to see what your soul wants to see, and time to think the thoughts and listen to the music your mind finds peaceful or enriching. Messes and repairs are postponable indefinitely. There's never any argument about spending priorities. You always get the last piece of pie and no one ever puts a milk jug with just a few drops of milk back in the refrigerator, The TV always goes off when you want it to. The lid is up or down according to your preference and there are never any frowns when you walk out of the bathroom.
Just as some are not meant for single life, I am not meant for married life. I don't dress up well. Stylish clothes look like they are being punished when I put them on. I hate shopping, it wastes time when I could be doing something important like day-dreaming. Besides, I have a cost/use ratio focus when I buy things I wear. Women never do. For instance, I buy a pair of underwear for $5.00 dollars. I wear the underpants a hundred times. My cost per use is five cents. A woman buys a pair of panties for $20.00. She wears them ten times. The cost per use is $2.00. Just what women blow on panties alone in a year would buy a quality power tool.
I am so grateful not to be good-looking. Good-looking people look for the most boring occasions to dress up and go see who else is pretty, while at the same time, letting everyone else see how pretty they are. Honestly, that time would be much better spent going fishing with worms. If I go out, I want my soul stirred. After it is over, I want quiet while my thoughts sip each moment.
Being single means no chick flicks. I would rather get a whipping than have to watch a chick flick. Inane is probably the best word to describe them. While chick flicks do make women romantically inclined, at my age, that's just all the more reason to avoid them.
I don't travel well. I am afraid of flying. Cities, hotels, planes, boats and anything else full of people sucks. I just have never understood the pick-me-up women get from travelling, crowds and spending money. You can spend the same money and get a new tractor that will be around for life.
And marriage would be really hard for me because I am morning challenged. It is like being in the deep waters of unconsciousness. My brain is struggling to reach the surface but it seems to take forever. I need every possible bit of focus in the morning to figure out who I am, where I am, and how I got there, as well as who in the hell is that noisy person who is in dire need of a total makeover and who won't leave me alone. Then I struggle to remember where I left the loaded gun.
And thank you sweet Jesus I don't have to go through the first thing in the morning, "what are we going to do today" discussion. If I could talk, I would say, "Shooting you sounds good."
I love my days off. This weekend I sat on the porch and worked on isolating various wildflower colors in my unmowed yard. Had some young kids over to pick black berries and peaches. Got the cellar pumped out. Killed fire ants. Got a haircut. The barber is getting some guineas. Had a chicken fried steak at Stonewall's. They have a new menu item, bison burgers. Got six bags of quikcrete to fill the rain ruts on my lane. Got the high beam fixed on the old Cadillac. Washed and dried two and a half loads of clothes. Cleaned the top of the stove and swept the worst areas. Visited with John Phillips. He is 90 years old and his mind is still sharp. His great granddaddy was one of the first settlers around here.
Got the Celtic Woman DVD. But didn't have a DVD player, so I got one of those. Had to get Robert Smith to come show me how to use it. I have chronic remote control disease. That's another thing I like about being single, I can be just as stupid as I want to be
I also love the nights. The quiet, still ones when it is warm enough to leave the windows open. With some really smooth and easy music. Right now I am listening to an instrumental version of "Summertime." It just doesn't get any better than this.
Occasionally I catch a really good late night movie. It has the sensation of having a whole theater to myself. I don't go to theaters much. I believe if you are patient, movies will come to you for free.
Saturday night I watched "Brother where art thou?" Loved the music and the script was good, but too busy for an old pheart. The Klan choreogarphy is a scene for the ages.
Last night I watched "A Love song for Bobby Long." It was mentally, emotionally and spiritually delicious. I normally dislike John Travolta. But that Yankee did southern so well. He was so good. As was everyone. Any movie that works in that many great quotes has to be terrific. Can't believe I've never heard anyone talk about it. I can't not talk about it. Did I miss 2004? Much to my embarrassment, I belong to a species that seems to prefer Spiderman, Shrek and Pirates of the Caribbean sequels to movies like "A Love Song for Bobby Long." Guess that's just one more thing to be thankful for, I may be stupid, but at least I'm not an idiot.
Uh, you don't think "A Love Song for Bobby Long " is a chick flick do you? Naw, couldn't be. The fact that I quite enjoyed the movie clearly demonstrates that it was not a "chick-flick." I had absolutely no sensation of being miserable throughout the movie. Not only that, the movie was intelligent and thoughtful. Still, it is close enough to the line that you have to be careful about such things.
High school and college were awkward, but fortunately, right after college I got drafted. The Army is a wonderful place for unattractive men. Looking drab in the Army is cool. But the Army had just a little bit too much comraderie and besides, you can get your ass shot off. My tush has never been what any woman would call "eye candy", but all the same, I'm fond of it.
Being single is hard. Not everybody is cut out for it. You have to have fortitude to deal with all the incessant, negative tapes replays. Lots of people try being single thinking it will be fun but find a feeling of being alone at night on the ocean. When the land of relationship comes into view, they jump for it and spend their lives in its security. I think that those of us who remain are at least not so afraid of death because we know, at least in part, what it feels like.
But I wouldn't want you to think it is all down-side. You have the time to see what your soul wants to see, and time to think the thoughts and listen to the music your mind finds peaceful or enriching. Messes and repairs are postponable indefinitely. There's never any argument about spending priorities. You always get the last piece of pie and no one ever puts a milk jug with just a few drops of milk back in the refrigerator, The TV always goes off when you want it to. The lid is up or down according to your preference and there are never any frowns when you walk out of the bathroom.
Just as some are not meant for single life, I am not meant for married life. I don't dress up well. Stylish clothes look like they are being punished when I put them on. I hate shopping, it wastes time when I could be doing something important like day-dreaming. Besides, I have a cost/use ratio focus when I buy things I wear. Women never do. For instance, I buy a pair of underwear for $5.00 dollars. I wear the underpants a hundred times. My cost per use is five cents. A woman buys a pair of panties for $20.00. She wears them ten times. The cost per use is $2.00. Just what women blow on panties alone in a year would buy a quality power tool.
I am so grateful not to be good-looking. Good-looking people look for the most boring occasions to dress up and go see who else is pretty, while at the same time, letting everyone else see how pretty they are. Honestly, that time would be much better spent going fishing with worms. If I go out, I want my soul stirred. After it is over, I want quiet while my thoughts sip each moment.
Being single means no chick flicks. I would rather get a whipping than have to watch a chick flick. Inane is probably the best word to describe them. While chick flicks do make women romantically inclined, at my age, that's just all the more reason to avoid them.
I don't travel well. I am afraid of flying. Cities, hotels, planes, boats and anything else full of people sucks. I just have never understood the pick-me-up women get from travelling, crowds and spending money. You can spend the same money and get a new tractor that will be around for life.
And marriage would be really hard for me because I am morning challenged. It is like being in the deep waters of unconsciousness. My brain is struggling to reach the surface but it seems to take forever. I need every possible bit of focus in the morning to figure out who I am, where I am, and how I got there, as well as who in the hell is that noisy person who is in dire need of a total makeover and who won't leave me alone. Then I struggle to remember where I left the loaded gun.
And thank you sweet Jesus I don't have to go through the first thing in the morning, "what are we going to do today" discussion. If I could talk, I would say, "Shooting you sounds good."
I love my days off. This weekend I sat on the porch and worked on isolating various wildflower colors in my unmowed yard. Had some young kids over to pick black berries and peaches. Got the cellar pumped out. Killed fire ants. Got a haircut. The barber is getting some guineas. Had a chicken fried steak at Stonewall's. They have a new menu item, bison burgers. Got six bags of quikcrete to fill the rain ruts on my lane. Got the high beam fixed on the old Cadillac. Washed and dried two and a half loads of clothes. Cleaned the top of the stove and swept the worst areas. Visited with John Phillips. He is 90 years old and his mind is still sharp. His great granddaddy was one of the first settlers around here.
Got the Celtic Woman DVD. But didn't have a DVD player, so I got one of those. Had to get Robert Smith to come show me how to use it. I have chronic remote control disease. That's another thing I like about being single, I can be just as stupid as I want to be
I also love the nights. The quiet, still ones when it is warm enough to leave the windows open. With some really smooth and easy music. Right now I am listening to an instrumental version of "Summertime." It just doesn't get any better than this.
Occasionally I catch a really good late night movie. It has the sensation of having a whole theater to myself. I don't go to theaters much. I believe if you are patient, movies will come to you for free.
Saturday night I watched "Brother where art thou?" Loved the music and the script was good, but too busy for an old pheart. The Klan choreogarphy is a scene for the ages.
Last night I watched "A Love song for Bobby Long." It was mentally, emotionally and spiritually delicious. I normally dislike John Travolta. But that Yankee did southern so well. He was so good. As was everyone. Any movie that works in that many great quotes has to be terrific. Can't believe I've never heard anyone talk about it. I can't not talk about it. Did I miss 2004? Much to my embarrassment, I belong to a species that seems to prefer Spiderman, Shrek and Pirates of the Caribbean sequels to movies like "A Love Song for Bobby Long." Guess that's just one more thing to be thankful for, I may be stupid, but at least I'm not an idiot.
Uh, you don't think "A Love Song for Bobby Long " is a chick flick do you? Naw, couldn't be. The fact that I quite enjoyed the movie clearly demonstrates that it was not a "chick-flick." I had absolutely no sensation of being miserable throughout the movie. Not only that, the movie was intelligent and thoughtful. Still, it is close enough to the line that you have to be careful about such things.