low profile living

[Kat]

Do any of you know of any good books or websites on low profile living.

I'm being stalked by my ex husband. At this time I don't want to officially change my name or disappear entirely, but want to throw him off as much as possible.

I know I'm going to have to change my internet habits, like getting rid of pictures as avatars :-(

I need to learn about having mail and voicemails forwarded to my main e-mail and cell phone, and in general living off the radar as much as possible.

I'm trying to get some help in this from domestic abuse agencies, but I just keep falling through the cracks of getting services and with the continuing budget cuts, it'll only get worse.

How can I use my SS# less. My ex knows it. SS is fighting me on changing it. I'm on disability for my Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome, and on state health insurance, so I can't go entirely off the radar.

I'd appreciate any tips any of you have, to at least reduce my ability to be easily tracked.

[machinemaker]

Not to sound bad, but do you have anything for personal protection, ie pistol or shotgun? my wife had problem with her ex and she still gets junk mail from his using her name for credit scams. I am a firm believer in getting a restraining order, talking to the local police and if he breaks the restraining order definding yourself.
kent

[rubestr3]

Hey, I used to have the same problem! Look up "How to be Invisible"...it's a lifesaver.

[hunter63]

Check this out, hope it helps:
http://www.backwoodshome.com/forum/yabb/forum.pl?board=sel-primitive-skills;action=display;num=1203180723

[Kat]

Hey, I used to have the same problem! Look up "How to be Invisible"...it's a lifesaver.

That's the book I've heard of. Thanks!!!

I was thinking about a gun, but am undecided due to having two friends with bipolar disorders who perceive an altered reality while manic. If either were to find the gun, when confused, it could get ugly. Any ideas of gun safety when having mentally ill visitors?

[hillbillygal]

You could always lock up your gun or at least hide it very well. If your friends go through your things I think you may want to rethink them coming around.

[TheUnboundOne]

Dear Kat,

Howdy, Kat and sorry to hear about your ex stalking you.

Yep, I agree with Machinemaker and Hillbilly gal. To quote a line from Claire Wolfe's books: "Buy a gun. You'll need it." And to go a step further, I wouldn't want anyone who would go through my things as a friend.

As far as snailmail, one option is to get a mail drop box from a UPS Brown Store, or another similar service offering private post office boxes. You could also perhaps even get your mail through a trusted attorney, since client communications with attorneys have added legal protection.

When you go the route of a private mail box service, your box will have a physical address, but it will be different from your home, and it will list your box number as a suite. This gives the impression that it is an apartment. They could also probably forward your mail to your home or any other address for a small fee or even nothing.

The box areas of many of such post office box services are open 24/7 and have code-locked doors, which means that you can mix it up and get your mail at different times. This will minimize your chance of being spyed upon.

Timers on lights, radios, TVs, and appliances in your home can give the impression that you are home when you are not, which may scare off some stalkers. And a big pair of muddy work boots on the doorstep, combined with a shot-up outdoor target could give an even more intimidating impression for a stalker.

For more great reading on techniques of privacy, there is the "New ID and Personal Freedom" and other sections of Paladin Press Books or Eden Press Books..."for Information and Academic Study Purposes Only," of course. Always double-check everything with others who have tried before making a move.

http://www.paladin-press.com

http://www.edenpress.com

I hope this information is helpful.

[TheUnboundOne]

Dear rubestr3

Howdy, rubestr3!

That particular book is a great one, written by "J.J. Luna" a man who hid for years from Francisco Franco's Fascist regime in Spain. Definitely one to get!

[Kat]

Thanks for all the tips! I will follow up on them.

No one goes through my stuff on purpose. Things just come up. My ex always had loaded guns hidden around the house and the children and I sometimes stumbled upon them by accident. He also once had an accident. I know stuff happens that we cannot foresee.

I'm trying to make good decisions, that will actually make me safer. Some things are judgement calls and all we can do, is do our best. Sometimes we are at risk no matter what we do.

I'll be looking more into the gun. And a German Shepherd. He's afraid of them.

[edward_4576]

A couple of things to keep in mind, if your ex is using any of your personnel information that can be construed as identity theft and depending where you live the penalties could be steep. If you get a pistol, get a holster and wear it while at home if there is the possibility of him trying to break in. As far as your finances call the three credit agencies and put a password on your account, that way no one can open an account without it. As for your voice mail, depending on how you get your local service you can have your voice mail forwarded to your email account as a wav file if you use the phone or Cable Company’s voice mail system.

For security purposes call your local PD and have them conduct a security inspection of your home. I don’t know what your financial situation is but it might be worth having your home locks check by a reputable locksmith. Go to Google and enter your phone number and it will ask you if you want your number removed from their search engine. Do the 1-800-opt-out that stops a lot of junk mail.

Have a male friend put a message of your choice on your answering machine. If you get a Shepard you might want to have him trained as a guard dog. Have motion sensing lights mounted outside, those are great deterrents at night. Go to x10.com they sell security camera systems that are relatively inexpensive.

Depending on your neighborhood, network with your immediate neighbors and set up a watch group. Get a good shredder so none of your personal information can be found by dumpster diving, and finally remember a friend will help you move, a good friend will help you move a body…..

[Kat]

Thank you for all the tips! I would like to ask some more questions about certain things, but think my online activities might be being monitored, and I need to think before I write.

I'm so overwhelmed right now trying to erase myself and figuring which order to do things in. I feel like everything is one big circle leading a trail to other personal information.

The credit report thing is almost funny. I don't know what was taken out in my name so I can't access my own account, to see how bad it is. Only my ex knows what he did. How ironic is that? I cannot figure out how to freeze it. I'm going to have to get some legal help.

The domestic abuse system continues to surprise me with their incredible illogical and negligent methods. I honestly thought I'd heard it all...till today. They managed to surprise me again :-0 Just unbelievable :-0

Long waits on hold, to only get cut off. Running all over the city in the pouring rain. What a day!

[tufhelp]

As I see it your credit report is yours - not the both of you - yours. Therefore you can demand you "free" credit report in your name and identification solely by providing proof that it is "you" asking for the report. Basically that two forms of documentation, one is something "official" with your ss# on it like a w2 stub and the other is something "official" with your address on it, like a drivers license or utility bill. Nothing else is required. Additionally you can "freeze" your credit information and prevent any new actions without contacting you first. This must be renewed every 90 days. If you can afford it a company like Lifelock can do this for you as well as protecting your identity from being ripped off - for a fee - about $10.00 a month. Anyway, you have recourses and rights...

[Kat]

I need to get some help. I'm having trouble proving I am me. They assume I know information about my account that I do not. It will need to be done with mailed in documents, not by phone or internet I guess.

I have a few ideas where to get help with this.

[SpoonBread]

Having gone through something similar I can empathize. But I'm not sure what advice I can give. Some of the things I did was:

change my voice mail on my cell phone to where it' is just an automated voice saying such and such number is unavailable. Though it's not as good as changing your number, it might give him doubts that you might have.

Also I don' t know what state you are in but in KY, they have programs through the state police that will tell you what to do to protect and recover from identity theft.

Figure out asap about freezing your credit or whatever it is, it can be a life saver.

LET you local law enforcement know ASAP what is going on. If you wait till something really bad happens to report it, it will be harder to prove the stalking and the situation.

You mentioned that you think that you online activites are being watched, how so? If you mean that he's going to all your old sites and seaching online for you I can't be much help.But if you think that there is something actually wrong with your computer, get SPYBOT. It is hte best program for getting rid of spyware and worms and as far as I remember it's free.

also, one of the things I did (for my own sanity) was I tracked him down. I found out where he was working, his usual hours, where he was living and such. I don't know if it really helped but it made him more "real" instead of being this boogyman in the shadows, he was real and there for something I could "manage".

As I said, I don't know your situation, but for me, what I think finally worked is I stopped being afraid of him and refused to respond to him and his actions/words. Not with fear, words, or agression. Eventually he got bored and found someone else to bother and moved to the other side of the state.

But if you seriously think the threat is real, do NOT hesitate to go all out to protect yourself! Change your name, SS#, MOVE, CHange your phone #, Get a dog, ect ect

Stay safe and stay aware.

SB