Seeking advice from youth coaches [Archive]

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Laura

11-23-2009, 03:31 AM

My dh was an assistant coach for 10 years in youth hockey. Ages 6-13 (early 14). I do understand a wee bit about what a coach goes through as far as prep for practices and games, time involved, parents, money, etc. I do get that.

When you have a line of players, plus one defenseman that is generating 90% of ALL the points on the team for this year, those same kids provide 2 of your three lettered captains, those same kids are the ones that go to every available open pad of ice to work on and hone in their skills, those same kids (and ONLY those kids) works their butts off in practice (practice at game speed), those same kids do not take major penalties.....disrespect the refs.....do drugs of any kind.....or treat other team mates with disrespect......

Can you tell me why:

A coach would put the worst child on this line, removing one of the best players on the team, only for this horrible child to take a penalty (which everyone knew he would) and put the team down, once again?

A coach would yell at this line of boys and tell them they are playing like squirts because they are not hitting, which, they don't need to because they can carry and handle the puck, score at will.....and the stats prove it?

A coach would look at a child, who just scored the game winning goal plus one insurance goal (he is a defenseman) and tell him he's not going out on the ice again because he didn't score last time he skated it in? Yet no other child on the team could get the puck in the ZONE much less get a scoring chance? Nor did they care......

Can you tell me why, a coaching staff of 3 adults would turn on their top 4 players?

They go out of their way to praise the bad kids when they do ONE TINY thing right........but never praise the top 4 kids and now are trying to split them up?

I don't get it.
Please enlighten me, from your experience as a coach.

Thanks

nhlivefreeordie

11-23-2009, 04:17 AM

In a word??..bad coaches...you never single out any one group for anything, be it praise or criticism, that break down the team fabric. I never let my skilled kids be treated as superstars, and never let my less gifted kids be the subject of ridicule. In fact, it was the skilled players job to help bring along the less talented.
Everything is done as a team, whether it is congratulations or paying for an infraction. You should have seen how quickly this became apparent to the different teams over the years. The first test started before equipment was even put on, when running laps, if they did not show up together at the end of the run, they ran another, that way no one was there 10 minutes before another team mate. It took a while for them to get this,I didn't come right out and say, but rather let them figure it out, I think the record was 4 laps around the field before they figured it out. There after, whenever we ran laps, they all crossed the line together, as a team.

Laura

11-23-2009, 09:28 AM

*deep sigh*

Can you tell me the top 3 things a kid could do that would get him immediately thrown off the team?

I am talking high school aged boys!

nhlivefreeordie

11-23-2009, 10:56 AM

Well, I would say it depends on the school and the particular coach. A couple things that come to mind would hurt him worse down the road, as it would make his record and is unhealthy to boot,( booze, pot, drugs). Other than that...I couldn't say what would get him thrown off immediately, and it certainly isn't worth testing the theory either, as I am sure there are some wacko schools out there, that wouldn't do it for those infractions either.
What is your intent? There might be a diplomatic way to do this, that also provides a couple of lessons.

Laura

11-23-2009, 12:21 PM

I was curious as to what "you personally" would throw a kid of high school age off your team would be.

Trust me..........short of my kid getting up in a bell tower, and based upon all other things they have let go to this point......it would take A LOT.

We are a club sport, therefore the schools do not have anything to do with us. Our team is comprised of kids from 5 schools. 3 public, 1 private catholic, 1 home schooled.

WE have had kids break our team rule of zero tolerance on tobacco, more than once. We have had another kid repeatedly disrespect the coaches, to their faces in front of other players. That same kid disrespects the captains, and the other players. Oh, yeah, and the parents and the other players sibilings on the team too.....
We have another kid (3 total) who has now taken 2 major penalties for fighting.......which is stupid because they are swinging punches with full equipment on, cages and all.....so no one's getting "their butt kicked" here.
All 3 of these boys received 'their final warning 2 weeks ago'. Supposedly they are on a short leash, and the NEXT TIME they mess up, they are suspended indefinetely. Whatever that means.

Here's what my boy and I discussed today:

The second kid in this senerio is the WORST. He is the reason why the other two have started acting like fools. Weak peer pressured kids. ANYWAY
The second kid in this senerio HATES to be hit. HATES IT.
Our practices are pretty lame, and there is never any hitting.....
So I told the boy if he and the top line just start drilling everyone in practice like they are in a game, eventually they will get a chance to hit the stupid kid. This will send him into a tirade and at that point the captains (2 of 3) can go to the coach in front of everyone and ask for his complete removal from the team......

I swear, we have tried everything........this is a nightmare.

nhlivefreeordie

11-23-2009, 06:55 PM

I don't know as I would boot a kid for smoking, provided it wasn't on MY time. Disrespect would get him sat a game, and a warning to the parent, to fix it or find somewhere else for his kid. Talking back and disrespect was surely the quickest way to minimum plays and on your way out the door.

tufhelp

11-26-2009, 01:54 PM

Could be another element at play - Liberalism. The need to "even the playing field" for the less capable and make them something they are not. I had this happen in college, not sports, but academic grading. I was in a television production course and put on a (even if I do say so myself) kick butt production and garnered a B. Now an ethnic minority member produced what in most circles would be kindly referred to as hammered dung and he got an A. Questioning the prof, she says I expected good work from you but the other lad didn't have my advantages so she gave him an A... Go figure, I was incredulous and dumb struck at the same time!

Laura

11-27-2009, 01:50 PM

Could be another element at play - Liberalism.

You hit the nail on the head.

This is an AMAZING life learning experience for my boy. It really is. We are trying hard to approach it this way......it's getting harder each day.

Let's hope for change that it will get better.......HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA
Note intense sarcasm.

Laura

12-13-2009, 04:37 AM

nhlivefreeordie

12-18-2009, 04:53 AM

OHMYGOSH OHMYGOSH

(total excitement....jumping up and down.....)

nhlivefreeordie........

yesterday, while my kid was on the ice playing.....a coach from one of the private colleges up here in extreme northern indiana approached me, flipped me his business card and told me he came to indy to watch my kid play during our thanksgiving tournament, and that he has watched him all weekend this weekend......and he really likes what he sees, and would love for us to come up in January for my kid to skate with the team, and look at their college!!!!

OMG.
Ok, (a) Never ever in a million years ever would I ever think that a college coach would ever approach us. Not that my kid isn't good.....but I try to keep everything in check. He's a 5'11" 165lb defenseman from Indiana....never played Jr's.....on an average high school team..........

I am totally excited, but can't really say anything to anyone on the team....because I don't want to come across as arrogant, but wow oh my am I totally excited for the boy.

Told him yesterday (after a disappointing loss) and he was VERY humbled by it. BUT DID HE SMILE??? Oh yeah baby!!
I am so proud of him........
This is not his best weekend. His wrist may have a hairline fracture in it....we will go get a photo tomorrow......so he's not playing 100%.....but wow. A college coach!! Just wow.

Thought I'd share....
thanks for listening!
Laura

Laura,
This is OUTSTANDING news!! Your son is getting that reward we have all prayed on, scouts may be around at any time, that is why there can never be a let down in character, scouts understand people have bad games, and they don't usually take just one look. They watch of the course of many situations. I am SO happy for you and your son.
Hockey is once again rising fast in the sports realm. A scholarship would be SWEET!!
Here is a tip, it costs some money, but is well worth it, if you can swing it. I used to take a girlfriends son to Ecole de Hockey de la Capitale, in Quebec every year for a couple weeks for Hockey School. The kids are separated by age and then ability. They live,breath and eat hockey the entire time they are there. I could see the value of the school after just one week there, and consequently sent him there for several weeks every year thereafter. It is the top hockey school in the world. The first year there he was 1 of only two kids who spoke english. There were Russians, Swedes, Fins, Czechs, even a kid from Thailand. NHL players help teach the school, I met Patrick Roy and Martin Brodeur and Ray Bourque and many others over the years. Your son will be miles ahead of anyone else if he goes to this school.
Here is a link
http://translate.google.com/translate?hl=en&sl=fr&u=http://www.ecolehockeycapitale.com/&ei=kIcrS8P5I5LslAfu4O2jBw&sa=X&oi=translate&ct=result&resnum=2&ved=0CBcQ7gEwAQ&prev=/search%3Fq%3Dhockey%2Bde%2Bla%2BCapitale%26hl%3Den %26sa%3DG
Again, do the happy dance, you and he have earned it.:wink:

Laura

12-25-2009, 04:37 AM

Thanks for the link......
I got to view it when I was at a hotel last week w high speed internet (that's fancy stuff!!)......looks like an amazing school!!

Come spring we will be looking into it deeper with a couple of his team mates.

We just bought a book on plyometrics. The book is written by hockey players for hockey players. Helps with speed and agility.

I am totally upside down with excitement......he's got a little 'gas' about it. He's having the "not wanting to move on" moment. Totally understand. This is the first year he has really "hung" with anyone and had a tight nit group of friends. Last year, you could see those relationships starting. One boy is 100% hockey 100% of the time. One boy is 100% hockey 50% of the time. One boy is 100% hockey in the game, 10% hockey outside of the game.
So it's a good mix. (My kid is 100% hockey 90% of the time)

I will keep you updated!!

nhlivefreeordie

12-25-2009, 06:12 PM

If you can get him to this school, you will do his potential to play pro a tremendous amount of good. This school shows them how to be better than they ever thought they could be, and then how to market themselves if that is where they are going, some friendships are made for life there. In the big scheme of things, the hockey world is very small. People with exceptional skill are noticed and talked about amongst NHL players, coaches at the camp, and just plain scouts, who spend a lot of time there during the summer.
It is an experience he will never forget. They treat these kids like they are something special, because they believe they are. It is hard work, they spend about 12 hours a day on the ice, and they have classroom as well. You could say it is hockey immersion. I saw the exponential difference in Chris after the first school. After that he stayed two or three weeks every year.
If you need any tips on where to go, where to stay, where to eat, I can help you, we always stayed right across the street at The Universal, nothing fancy, but clean and comfortable. We usually would go up the week before he was to come home, and stay that week for vacation and pick him up at the end of the week. You can eat really good, really cheap in Olde Quebec City. If you stay while they are there, you can watch practices, they have a mezzanine with seats that you can watch from, without the kids actually seeing you, so you can sight see some, and watch some, plus while you are at the practices, you never know who you will run into, there are NHL players there helping off and on all summer.
Chris wasn't a goalie, but the group of goalies were working out and I was watching sitting right behind me were Martin Brodeur and Patrick Roy...both extremely friendly guys. Another time Ray Bourque was there.