Who were/are your mentors?

[AlchemyAcres]

I can't sleep tonight...I've been setting here thinking about my Grandparents and how much I miss them.
I was very close to all of them and learned a lot from them over the years. :(

I was also a strange kid who was very good friends with a lot of older folks in the community (I think it was because my parents were very young and I was looking for wisdom that I didn't think they possessed at the time...LOL) from whom a learned a lot.....most of them are gone now too! :(

Who were/are your mentors?


~Martin

[jen_in_southtexas]

What a good topic Martin. I cant sleep either. My mentor was definately my maternal Grandmother. She was a wise,strong and wonderful woman. No doubt that life's trials made her into the person that she was. I spent most of my life with her into my early twenties when I ventured out on my own. She practically raised me and I learned so much from her during her time here on Earth. I have many fond memories of her. Some of the things I learned from her aren't necessarily things that she lectured to me but by observation and the way she handled life. I loved sitting with her and listening to her stories of days gone by. There were always lessons learned in those stories. She taught me so many things that seem so unimportant to some people these days who dont care about their morals, self worth and how they value themselves. I know those are general things but its those things that carried over into my adult life that helped shape me into the person I am today. She had alot to do with my upbringing and I had alot of respect for her and I wish I could hold her hand and thank her one more time.
It is funny that I am talking about her because just today I had a strong urge to pass by her ol' lil place on the way home and I did. For a minute, while enroute, it really did seem like I was going to walk into her home to see her. Of course things looked totally different, her lil porch was rather bland and blank...it was a bittersweet moment to say the least.
Thank you for bringing this topic up. It has stirred some wonderful memories of the most influential person in my life.

-jen

[Deberosa]

Gee, must be one of those nights!
My grandfather was my mentor. He taught me to fish and how to clean a catfish and I helped him with his chickens. Every summer I would go with him to recharge the old soda and water fire extinguishers that he sold. He would invent stuff to make life easier, I learned alot from him! He's been gone many years now but I still miss him.

But I have "modern" day mentors right here - Martin you have been a great mentor to me! I am so glad you are here to share your knowledge. DM is another mentor that I am so glad shares his knowledge here. I know without people like the both of you I would never have even dreamed I could do some of the things I've accomplished here on Deberosa. I could go on and on with a list of people who helped out and encouraged along the way.

[Pokeberry Mary]

I guess grandparents have time to spend maybe? My dad's mom is one of my favorites to think back on. I loved her simplicity. I had more than one mentor or example though. I've taken what I could get from observing quite a few folks, especially women who I admired for some reason--usually a particular character trait or good habit I noticed in them.

Gramma was one, but also an elderly aunt -who was not at all nice, always scolding--yet she could cook anything perfectly. I also admired my first boss who truly did mentor me in the ways of working and kitchen work--I worked as a waitress and cook in a family style restaurant at the age of 15. I admired a woman I worked for later who toughed out running the store while fighting recurring bouts of cancer. I admired a hard working woman who had worse arthritis than me and was non-stop at work.

I guess I admire hard working, simple women who stick to their principles no matter what those around them think, do or say--but who also are honest and trustworthy.. Those are the things I feel most impacted me--so those women I guess would be mentors for me. I can't say I've ever reached what I would consider their levels--but I keep trying.:)

[Native87]

Wow. I have had this subject on my mind for quite awhile now. I was blessed to have had several in my family as mentors. My grandparents on dads side was were I spent alot of time. Granny was Cherokee and PawPaw was Scot/Irish. They were a hard working couple. Everything was done the old ways. From farming to washing the clothes. I learned alot that way. Like Jen said it was from observing but if you listened you also got a life lesson. About all the work was done with horse drawn equipment and handtools. You wont see that anymore but if it comes back to it I at least know enough to make it. My grandparents on moms side were also from a huge farming background. Some of the best gardening etc. lessons were learned there. I had so much fun then. Didnt have nothing but a great life all at the same time. Family was family. Not like that these days.

I have to say my Dad was a huge mentor. He could do more with less of anyone I ever met. A person could make it by the things he had forgotten. Again it was another situation of observing and LISTENING. No speeches (unless I got caught doing something I wasn't supposed to.... Then the speech was short and the lesson felt. ;) ) I could always ask questions and EXPECT an honest answer. I lost Dad a little over a year ago and I have to say that I am still lost.I have so many times needed to ask a question and didnt have nowhere to turn. Here I am 40 years old and it seems at times I am trying to find someone to help fill that empty spot.

What I can say and I hope others will pass this on. If you still have parents grandparents or whoever your mentor is. Soak all the knowledge you can up. Spend as much time as possible with them. Because I can honestly say that when they are gone the sense of loss and sadness is tremendous. I always had a wonderful relationship with them all. But I still say to myself if I had only listened and asked a little more.

Thanks for the topic Martin. For the rest of us out there. Teach a youngin something if they will listen. If they have a question answer. You have no idea how important even the smallest bit of information may be in their lives someday.

[Anon001]

Wow... I shoulda got up and been on here. I laid in bed until sometime around 2am before I could finally drift off.

My dad was my mentor. I have to admit that I was very lucky to have a fantastic. He was always there for and only offered advice when I asked or when I needed it and didn't ask. He would do all the father/son stuff with us... fishing, Boy Scouts, etc.

My dad taught me four very important lessons.
1. Never interfere in one of your brother's lives (I had 6 brothers) but always be there for them and support them even when you disagree with them. Our family was a very "public" family. Along this same line, he always taught that even if we have disagreements in private, we appear unified in public... on everything.
2. Everything you do in life has consequences whether good or bad.

3. Your word should be good enough for a handshake.
4. Get every dime you earn, but earn every dime you get.

With that said, I also had several people I looked up to as role models.

Paul

[bookwormom]

Thanks Martin.
Martin, Your post brought tears to my eyes. I too was very close to my grandparents and learned so much from them. I think the fact that I was a very happy child doing things of a homesteading nature with my folks was a big influence on me. I was happy being barefoot, feeling the warm earth and picking up the potatoes that my grandmother dug. I was not happy hurrying down a city street, catching a tram or subway, smelling the fumes of a bus, seeing the stores selling stuff that I couldnot afford or did not want and need. that showed me bright and clear the kind of life I wanted to live. However, it is not the same, I sure miss not having some kids pick up the potatos that I dig up, now that I am my grandmother's age. Nobody to pass it on to. This makes me very sad.

[DM]

WOW Deb, what a nice thing to say about me...thankyou..

This was an easy answer for me... It was mostly my dad. He taught me how to hunt, and many other things outdoors. He also taught me how to farm and garden, but most of all, he taught me to be honest and always keep my word... If my dad said we were going hunting 3 weeks from today at 6am... you NEVER had to mention it again, but you dam sure better be ready to go at 6am that morning, cause he was!

My mother was also a mentor, because she taught me how to can and cook. Dad was all about work and getting things done. He was rough about the way he did things, where my mother was also about work and getting things done, but she had a kinder way about her, that balanced out my dad's way.

Anyway, they started me off on the right path, and i forged ahead learning as i went...and i'm still learning!

DM

[Mom5farmboys]

Ok, this is eerie, I too have been mulling this thought over in my mind lately.
Great minds must think alike I guess, lol.

The biggest influence in my wanting to be self-sufficient would have been the mother of some childhood friends. There was a family with 4 girls that lived right next door to us growing up, 2 of the girls were a little bit older than me and 2 just a little bit younger, so I dove-tailed in nicely there and was at their house constantly when I was a kid. The mom was a farm girl and did things the old fashioned way. (We lived in the country but there were about 10 houses on our street-all on 1 acre lots) She had a huge garden, canned, and froze, and dehydrated her harvest. She planted fruit trees, grape vines, strawberries, and raspberries. She had a fifty gallon wooden barrel in her basement and made her own vinegar in it, she made her own wine, she built a room in her basement for cold storage, she even went so far as to pipe in cold air from the outside to keep the temperature constant ( I vividly remember being there when she was trying to get the kinks worked out of her system). She had chickens, and geese for a time too. She sewed many of her kids clothes and made quilts. I was always fascinated by her and what she did. She must have had the heart of a teacher because she was never too busy to stop and explain to me what she wanted to accomplish, what she was doing, or why she was doing it a certain way. It was so different that the home I grew up in, my mom was worried about a clean house and one that was decorated in the currant style, it was like a whole 'nother world over there, I loved it!

The 2nd biggest influence was my maternal grandmother. She had a hard life, but never lost her sense of humor, she could always see the funny side of things no matter how dismal they seemed. She also gardened and canned, and taught me many ways to be frugal, mostly by example. She also taught me how to sew. She was an awesome cook, and taught me to do that too. When I married my husband, I moved in right next door to her, I called her with question after question and many times she would walk over to my house to show me how to do something because sometimes I just didn't get it. She was never irritated with me, but she did laugh at me a lot! lol

Her daughter (my aunt) had her same sense of humor, and she also lived right next door, (but on the other side of grandma's house) had her own garden and canned too. That first summer I was married I put in my garden then I went and helped her can her tomatoes, and then I knew how to do mine! She also taught me how to work with yeast breads, she was famous in her circle of friends for her cooking, and breads. Her husband (my uncle) also taught my husband how to hunt, how to gut and clean what he shot, and my aunt would tell me how to cook it, or can it.

I would really say that those 3 women really shaped me into the person I am today! God Bless them!!

[GoodDaughter]

I miss my grandparents too. Both grandfathers are gone, one grandmother has alzheimers and no longer recognizes anyone, and the other grandmother is so frail she is more or less bedfast now.

I suppose my maternal grandmother was my biggest influence, especially as far as making do. I don't guess she would ever think of it as being self-sufficient or 'homestading', because she is of the generation who were young during the Depression; here, people either farmed, ranched, or lived in town and had a 'town job'.

She didn't teach me so much by example as by stories and rememberances. I remember being little and thinking I wanted to keep chickens like she did before they moved to town, I wanted to garden like they did even when they did move to town. I wanted to learn to do everything she did as a young woman and wife. I honestly don't know how old I would have been, probably well into my teens or adult years before I ever became exposed to such ideas had it not been for her.

My DH has always been my mentor, too. He's just a few years older than me but he's always been one of those men who can do anything he sets his mind to, and do an excellent job at it as well. I've learned so much from him. I'd likely never have learned to aim to make a clean kill on a deer, or how to do the bit of basic carpentry and electrical I can do. He's taught me all sorts of things. One thing I recognize in him is an uncommon integrity. I aspire to have his level of integrity. If he says he's going to be somewhere or do something, he does it, and there is never a thought of not keeping his word. Right now, with the economy and trucking industry being as bad as it is, I truly believe his integrity is what is keeping the loads coming for him--when one of his clients needs something hauled, they call him as opposed to the many other drivers who no doubt also want the loads. Why? Because they know he will get their freight where it needs to go on time and safely.

And my mother... she is my shining example of faith, charity, morality and human goodness. I could go on for paragraphs about her, but those few words describe her perfectly. She is good, she is a Proverbs 31 woman, and if I am ever half as strong and loving as she is, I will be proud.

[Grizzy]

My father's path veered off from my own, when I was 8 years old. In my pouch I carry his memory and his ways with me even now, though. Although we lived in south Florida, he would carry us to the Smokey Mountains ever chance he got. We were happier there than anywhere else, I think. I remember him standing beside me in the woods and saying "Close your eyes.. and tell me who is here with us". He taught me how to build a good fire, how to fish, the benefit of quiet and to dream.... He took me down to the rushing streams and put stone in my small hand, and to my ear. "The memories are in the stones" he told me... I will never forget the warmth of his voice. After work.. at the closing of his day, he would put on his gardening clothes and say to me "Little Bear, come.. walk and talk with me" and then My day would begin... He would gently wipe off a radish or carrot and even sweet bebe onions.. refreshing as a sip of water.. and pop them into my mouth. I think thas the only time out there when I wasn't talkng haha...He and my mother bent their heads and said a prayer of Thanks, when he brought home a sack of lil bird he hunted for table.

My father adored my momma's father, my Grandfather, as I did. My father was submissive to Grandpa. My father was a strong man, a lively man, an active man, and yet he was soft and loving and giving to Grandpa. My Grandpa loved my father as a son. Together they would build things and fish and sit by night fires and talk long into the night.. when we would visit down in the Florida Keys. I didn't say anything when they were together, for watching them was like observing a fawn at the edge of the woods taking steps out into an open field...

My grandmother.. well she put up with me. (sigh) I spent my summers in Key Largo with her an Grandpa. It wasn't so much that she Taught me things in words, but by example. Her home was clean and in order. Her kitchen had jars lined up with herbs and things she worked into meals and medicenes if we got injured or sick. My grandmother wasted nothing. She never had a bad word in her mouth, in fact she was a quiet woman but with laffter in her eyes. She was the love of my grandfather's life. For this, I loved her. They had what momma and my pa had, it was truly Soulmate love. This is where I drew my strength.

This that I have said happened many years ago. When my father was gone, I looked and looked for those like him, to fill the void, ones with lessons and stories, ones who loved as big as the mountain. Whenever my mother could not find me, she knew where to look.. always it would be with the nearest old ones I could find. They have learned the good lessons, they know the secrets to living well...

Mentor.. thas a word that applies to nature, I think. She teaches us order and gives well to those who are dilligent to work, taking only what is truly needed. Because she is also unpredictable sometimes, there is a lesson there to put back what she has offered for times of lean. I can be assured that no matter how my heart aches this day, the sun will greet me in the morning. If fire consumes the woods, new life will replenish the land. The animals are faithful to their own. The waters are generous to supply us with food and drink. The colors around us come from a kind palette. The smell of fresh cut grasses comforts me. A seed holds promise, rain forgives, honey bees offer hope and the winged ones overhead cry out .... Keep Going...

I suppose it is sad to admit, there have been few people I truly admire. But on my path, there have been those who from out of nowhere, when I was on my knees, have offered such compassion and strength... I will tell you this, those such as You.. here.. and in places like BHM who are consistent and fatihful to your dreams, I admire, I draw from, I want to be more like. Shiny things, certificates on walls, big and bodacious, do not catch my eye. It is the loyalty to family and friend, compassion and knowledge of the old ways, the willingness to share and teach... that mentor me. And so, I thank all of you for this.

I know am windy here, today, but this thread touched some things that have been weighing heavily in my heart of late. Thanks for listening.

Be Strong
~Grizzy~

[patience]

There were many, and still are several. Dad told me to pay attention to everyone, because even the village idiot has something you can learn. Parents, most importantly, taught me all it took to get along in the world of the time, and good values with it. Mom taught me to garden, can food, make butter, keep a clean house, sew, and get the best out of country food. Dad taught me carpentry, logging, farming, and enough electrical, plumbing, blacksmithing, and mechanics to get by, plus a fair amount about business.

Grandfather on Mom's side made furniture and taught me the trade, from kiln drying to finished product. Dad's brother taught me about horses, gardening, and how to make do. My older sister was a second mother to me, and made sure I stayed out of trouble. Grandma taught me some cooking, sewing, gardening in tiny places, and how to spoil a grandson. Family, friends, and neighbors taught me how farm folks helped each other and made a go of farming in hard times.

All of the above and more, were Depression survivors, and instilled the thinking from that era. I couldn't be more grateful today. :D

[gump]

Both my parents worked and we lived far from the rest of our family so I will say self-taught. Of course, I missed out on so many life lessons and still don't know how to do much.

Someone should start a handyman school :)

[Laura]

Both my parents worked and we lived far from the rest of our family so I will say self-taught. Of course, I missed out on so many life lessons and still don't know how to do much.

Ditto.

My dad kept a garden of tomatoes and cukes. I loathed the garden, because I had to weed it! (Selfish little brat :eek:).
My dad did all the cookin' when he was home....but I was not allowed in the kitchen.
My parents were dirt dirt poor, and when they both went into the work force and started making good money, they did all that they could to make sure my brother and I didn't "go without" or "live like they did"......They meant well.

I started out like that. Lots of CC debt, buy buy buy.........then one day I said "wow. enough".

I learn a lot from the net, I am in the library ALL the time, and really, trial and error. I totally appreciate those here and other places that take the time to share their knowledge. It truly is of great use!!

[Anon001]

One other thing my dad always taught us that I forgot about. He always told us that if you can't pay cash for something, you can't afford it. I still live by that rule. It may take longer to buy something, but in the long run, you end up with more money and assets by not paying out all that interest over the years.

Paul

[Pokeberry Mary]

I think we sort of mentored ourselves about credit when all the contract work my Hubby used to do dried up at once during the .com bubble bust thing. We ended up losing a vehicle, short selling a house and moving to Fargo after a 3 year long struggle of trying to keep it all.

When we walked away from that, we never went back to any kind of credit. We are still driving the same vehicles we had then--although they are quite old now. We've purchased a house in need of just about everything--but we were able to pay cash--so no more mortgages. Our stuff is pretty worn looking some of it--but we don't have loans on any of it. After the house gets a little less dusty we're going to buy some 'new' used furniture for the living room and I'll probably sand down the dining room table and re-finish it.

I never want to live under credit again--its not yours if its not paid for. You just think it is. I've done all I can to teach my kids the same thing--some haven't listened but have finally come to the same conclusion through their own struggles.

It is far better to be poor than to be in debt.

[leera]

Hmm,wow,that's a tough question to answer.

My Mom taught me how to sew and do some gardening and canning,my Dad taught me how to take care of my car....I built my first car from three wrecked ones...

Hmm....my grandparents were never really apart of my life,and I didn't meet my Dad's parents until I was well out of high school.

I learned to fish from a homeless friend of mine,I learned to make a fire,build a shelter and read tracks from another friend who was an army brat,born on a base in Germany.

I've pretty much picked up bits here and there and worked them together to fit me and my style.

I guess I can't really say that I had any mentors,just people here and there along the way that taught a few things they knew.Unforunately with my Mom the roles are now reversed,and I am teaching her about budgeting,smart shopping,etc,etc..

[NotSoFast]

I used to be a loner and isolator so I didn't have any nor want any. I got all my information from books (still do mostly). But now that I've become older and wiser, while I still like being a loner, I value mentors for the wisdom they have that I can learn from.

And a mentor doesn't have to be older than me. Younger ones with understanding and knowledge with wisdom are as good and sometimes even better because they have the imagination left to still try new things.

Chuck

So in the area of homesteading, you folks are. I also have other sites I go to for info on guns, relationships, woodworking, and so on.

[roolu]

So in the area of homesteading, you folks are. I also have other sites I go to for info on guns, relationships, woodworking, and so on.

Ditto!

Growing up my mentors were my parents. My father in his drunken stupers taught me far more than I realized, at least until I became an adult. He taught all of us kids how to handle a firearm, from the time we were big enough to hold the thing. He taught us how to camp, slaughter animals, fish, and canoeing. Other life lessons he taught were not so fun. But through those times Mom stepped in, and through her strength we learned how to handle pretty much everything, it's all about the attitude. She taught me how to sew, cook, and to always be prepared. Alot of the things she taught us back in our childhood keep coming into my mind, and I know I need to work on remembering them. Like cheese making and churning butter, haven't had the guts, time or fresh milk as yet. But I remember her describing it as well as her making them.

Other than that it's been people who have come in and out of life, teaching me little things here and there. Like the ex that taught me how to walk softly in the woods, or my old boss that helped me improve my aim with a .45

[TNDadx4]

Good topic Martin!

I didn't really have a mentor per se. My parents didn't can or garden and I never had a chance to know my grandparents. I would say that one of the people that made a big difference in my life was my babysitter as I was growing up. Her name was Mamie (may-mee) and I spent a lot of time at her house. I remember that they had chickens and that her husband had hunting dogs as well.

I can remember going over her house and smelling the fresh homemade bread as I was coming down the lane. Man, her bread was good. I remember seeing the loaves in their pans, covered on the table before she made them. I'd go in her screen door and there she would be, always in the kitchen with her apron on. I can remember eating at her kitchen table. I couldn't wait for some fresh bread and a bowl of soup.

She told me a little about how she did things. They kept their potatoes in the cellar with some other things that I don;t remember.


An odd thing that I do remember is that once she was sick and the has a small fish tank with leeches swimming around and she would catch them with a small net and put them on herself. It interesting the way that we used to view medicine.

Anyway, aside from her, I try to talk to as many "older"people that I can find as I'm trying to learn as much as I can.

[Dawgus]

My mentor has always been and will always be my grandmother. She raised 3 kids by herself after my grandfather passed away in '41. She worked 2-3 jobs to provide for them, worked a big garden, and cared for chickens, pigs,and cattle in her spare time till my dad, uncle and aunt were old enough to help. They all lived in a tiny 3 room house on stilts on the edge of the swamp, hand pumping water, and heating with a woodstove. My dad told me that so few pictures of family members exist because once they ran out of wood and had to burn books and photo albums for heat.
Grandma finally retired from her last job as janitor at a local high school in '78 and was so well loved that the football team gave her a jersey with that year on it. I still have that. After retirement, she devoted her time to quilting, making barbie doll clothes, and baking. She never slowed down one bit, even though the doctors told her to. She was truly an inspiration for me, and anyone that knew her.
She passed away in 1991 at age 82.I have that jersey in a shadowbox, and an article about her doll clothes from the local newspaper on the wall. We have some of her doll clothes,and several of her quilts. Lisa even has her prized recipe book, and last fall we got all of her old wine making supplies. ( I really wish she could have met grandma) I miss her all the time. Every time I look at her picture, I remember her and what she did. It's her inspiration that got me into gardening and canning, and her drive that runs through my veins. Not one other person in my life has ever inspired me like she did. I miss you grandma.

[Lookout]

I would say the one person who had the most influence on my life was a life long family friend. She became my second mother.
She taught me how to buy in bulk and how to the simple things like double mint gum in flour products to keep weevil out. I miss her and her husband dearly.
My grandparents were quit elderly when I was young so don't remember a lot of life's lessons from them. I do remember some fun times though.

[Roots_Farm]

My grandmother was born in the back of a covered wagon as her family left the reservation in Oklahoma. They were bound for Illinois but had a slight delay in Pocahontas Arkansas while my great grandmother gave birth to her. It was 1914. 6 month later my great grandmother died and left my great grandfather with more children than he could handle and they were broken up amongst extended family. As a young girl she was befriended and taught how to cook by a former slave. It was her responsibility to cook for the family and this neighbor, though elderly and mostly ignored by the other neighbors, was a wealth of knowledge and a good friend to a little girl. When she was 15 she married and had her own children. Nothing was as important to her as family and she passed this down to her children.

No jobs to be found in Illinois my grandparents loaded up and headed to the furniture factories in Lenoir N.C. They rented a little place and were welcomed into the neighborhood with a community bonfire. Half breeds were not very popular in those parts back then. She spoke to me of this once and never said a bad word of them. To her it was more important to turn a cheek and forgive than it was to hold a grudge and hate. Not much in the way of work was found but they managed as best they could. My grandfather would never take charity because he always felt there were others in more need.

My father knew times were hard and any extra mouth to feed was a drain on them so at 16 he joined the Army and went to Korea. It was 1950. In 1971, after returning from Vietnam, he was standing at the airport patently waited on a taxi to pick him up. They drove past like he wasn’t even there but he was noticed by those who had nothing but hate for anyone in a uniform. Finally he was picked up by a taxi driver who happened to be a vet himself. He looked over at the people who were berating my father and said “If it were me I would have hit them” to which my father responded “I have fought 2 wars so they can keep the right to speak their mind and voice there opinions, no matter how wrong they may be.” “Why would I hit them for exercising it?”
Taking care of family and service for his country were the two major reasons he joined and stayed on for 30 years.

These were the people that influenced my life the most. I learned that family is number 1 and that no matter how old or seemingly unimportant someone is they can still teach you a lot. I learned that hate gets you nowhere but forgiveness and understanding can lead you to a place of peace that they will never know. I also learned that duty an honor is a mindset and not a trait shared by all but with it comes the responsibility to defend the rights of those who do not have it. I have learned that you must sacrifice at times and to always remember that there is someone else sacrificing more than you. To help out others during a time of prosperity is kind. The true test is whether you will help out others when you have little yourself.

In my 44 years I have meet a multitude of people. From heads of states to the poorest of poor. I have tried to learn something from each of them as they all have something to give.

[LoiDreams]

My mentors were my mom and dad. My dad had type I Diabeties or Juvenile diabetes. He was diagnosed when he was sixteen. He put himself through college as a photographer at the Jet propulsion Laboratories in Southern California and by delivering newspapers in the morning. It took him 10 years because whenever they had a new baby he would have to take time off because there would be no money for school. He went to California Polytechnic school and he was an Ag Major. By the time he finished school there were three of us. So he taught me perserverance. He also taught us that you always show a cheerful face no matter how you're feeling. As a diabetic he was very challenged and yet I seldom remember him being anything but cheerful. Except when one of us was being bad. He taught me acceptance of limitations that you work around. He accepted that his disease would kill him and that he would have challenges before it did, but that didn't change his love for God. His favorite hymn was "It is well with my soul", now also my favorite.
Dad used to talk about Cattle and other livestock even though we never had any. He was a frustrated rancher. He knew that his limitations would not allow him to ranch and he accepted it. Before he died he had many eye operations for bleeding in the eye, a kidney transplant that gave us another 7 years, and he lost a leg 2 years before he died and yet although he often seemed tired he always had a cheerful and loving attitude. Mom was our mom. I don't know how else to say it. There were 7 of us but we always had enough to eat, we had clothes that she made even coats one year. She also always had a gardenand we canned every year. We would go to U picks and can. People would have too many beans or whatever and we canned. As we got older we all helped. She also taught us that your husband is the most important person in your life and should be treated that way. We knew we were loved but Dad was special. She spoke often of her father and his gardening and grafting techniques. She also spoke of her mother who managed to feed the many strangers my grandfather would bring home for dinner unexpectedly. So I guess I learned Charity and how to stretch a meal through her from them.

LoiDreams

[recoilless_57mm]

Great topic! I have been a very lucky man. This gives me the opportunity to thank them, in some cases the first time, in other again.

First, there were my parents. Both gave me my work ethic, moral ethic & the fact I should take responsibility for my actions or descissions. They were and are my foundation.

Second, there were the many tradesmen, & in a few cases women, that helped me develope my skills. I would have to start with my school teachers. They pushed me to develope my mind. They helped bump me between the black lines when I over stepped them. It was not like it is today. A teacher was more than a babysitter. They taught you how to read, write, mathamatic & many other subjects your parents did not have time for. They were also an extention of the home in the form of morality, responsibility, etc. they supported the foundation my parents were building for me. I thank them for taking this interest in me and the many others that passed by them.

Cub scouts, Boy scouts & Explorer scouts were also part of my educational process. It helped develope and support those basic teachings I received in the home and school.

I was lucky enough to have know an old foundry tradesman that had learned his skill of casting hot metal around the turn of 20th century. He was a very patient person. He would give a person the shirt off his back. All that person had to do was show a genuine interest in the art of foundry work. You had to have a good moral foundation or you were toast so to speak.

The next two men were engineers. One an electrical engineer the other an aeronautical engineer. The support and advise from these two men was without a doubt valuable to me. Once again as I look back both men had strong moral foundations. They were achievers and go getters in the sense of knowing about their respective fields. When ever I started to get a bit afield they would remind me of my basics. This included my field of study.

There are many others that changed my life. These are a few that stand out. In no way does it diminish the value of so many other folks that in some form or another mentored me. I sort of view myself as a work in progress. There will be some that may take pause with this next statement. I figure without a firm belief in a power greater than ourselves you will have missed the most important meaning in ones self. I truly beleave that I was gifted these many people to help me become the person I am today.

I could not end this without including my wife. She is not only an inspiration. She is a partner, mother & mentor as well. I have been truly blessed!

In closing I thank God for all that has been provided. I feel all these folks could have been there and I might have passed right on by. For some reason I paused and took interest. For that I thank God!

OT

[Southerngirl]

Wow, for a lot of people it was their grandparents! I never got to meet my dad's mom, but I have heard a lot about her and her strengths and holding the family together during hard times and I use that as my encouragement to keep trying. My "rock" is my mom, she is always there for me, no matter if I do good or bad, always there with encouraging words either way. I see her strength, making things work no matter how bad it gets, and seeing her pictures of when she was in Vietnam that just amaze me of everything she has done and seen.
My husband and I both, tend to find older friends and love to learn from them.
This was a nice change for a thread! :) Brought back wonderful memories for so many people! :)

[Catfaery]

Thanks for posting this topic. It is a great one.
I have had a lot of people be mentors in my life but none so much as my mother and husband to be.

My mom taught me how to be good to people no matter what and to always try to look at the good side of life. She also taught me how to be 'crafty' and be open minded.

My husband to be has helped me hone the things my mom taught me. Additionally,he has taught me the meaning of partnership. We are building and looking forward to having a family and home. (It will always be a building process but we have one another). :)

Best to all,
Cat Faery

[WileyCoyote]

First and foremost was my father. He taught me how to shoot, how to relate to people, how to understand people and their motivations, and how to write and speak effectively. When I was small I had a bad stutter, so I didn't talk much. My mother was a very cruel and selfish woman, and made fun of me in front of her friends. My father taught me how to deal with her, and to pretty much ignore her as he did; to become my own person in spite of her. We could and did argue incessantly about everything; he encouraged rational thinking and debate skills. By the time I got to high school, I was very self-possessed and independent; the teachers used to invite me to their classes to spur on debate. When my father became crippled from his strokes and my mother refused to care for him, my father would only allow me to be near him and care for him; he said I was the only one who was practical he could trust.

Next was my second husband. He taught me how to use tools and to create anything from nothing. He gave me great self-confidence and to this day never stops telling me how beautiful I am. He is always encouraging in every endeavor, and partners with me in everything. We divide the chores equally, and he is not in the least embarrassed to vacuum, do dishes or laundry; bathe a child or dog or change a dirty diaper, bandage an evisceration or cradle a burned child. He is one of those people who can make anything work, and has put together things and made them have a new lease on life that most people have thrown away. When I got involved in politics, he was supportive, especially when I was being harassed and even threatened. He is not a big guy but seems larger than life; his nickname has always been The Bear, because he moves through life slowly and deliberately, thoughtfully and powerfully, without wasted effort or emotionalization. All of our daughter's dates and boyfriends have been terrified of him! LOL Yet he has a great sense of humor and playfulness, and can see the ridiculousness of life.

[Grizzy]

WileyCoyote.. There are folks here, on BHM, from "the old days". I am only here about a year, so I don't know them. I don't know you, other than our few words the other day in the chat room. I have to admit.. that a few of your posts got under my fur, because I thought you were cranky and your words seemed too strong (Please hear me out).

But, I am realizing that You are a unique creature.. as we all are.. and that your colors and life experience has put you through the fire in such a way that you do not walk your path trembling nor wishy washy, but confident and knowledgable. In a short time, you have helped to teach me a few things.. mentor me, I suppose we would say.. and so for this, I say Thank You. It's good to have you back. I have learned from You and look forward to reading your words in the future. It's funny isn't it, the twists and turns in the road.. where they take us..

Be Strong
Be Well
~Grizzy~

[WileyCoyote]

:o Thanks, Grizz! Glad I could help.

My father taught me that to get people to think outside their boxes, you have to challenge them with a different perspective. He said that too many people built these little tiny boxes of knowledge and perception, where they felt safe - but NO one is safe, not from anything, not at any time. He said most people would fight and die to defend those boxes, no matter how erroneous they were. But those who COULD step back, and debate rationally and reasonably, either adequately defending their positions or abandoning their preconceptions to learn more, without emotionally clinging to their preconceived notions, had a hope of change, and a hope of survival. He taught me to be a Devil's Advocate, purposefully getting people to THINK about WHY they believed what they believed. He taught me Sun Tzu - "If your enemy is quick to anger, seek to irritate him". They exhaust themselves and expose themselves thereby, and people around them, or who read what they say, think - and see them for what they are. He also taught me Ayn Rand, that emotions can be fatal, and are best left to investment in relationships that are already proven reliable through reason.

So if I seem brassy or pushy or obnoxious, it is because I am what my father wanted me to be. I do not fall back on the "but I'm a helpless woman" in debate, and won't accept the "you're 'just' a woman, how would you know?" of others. Fortunately my DH is very into the non-helpless type of woman; he prefers a self-possessed partner to velcro. ;)

We can all learn and we can all teach - if we are open to it. Those who come on here solely for their own self-aggrandizement are easily exposed... and ignored. :D I have learned a lot from people on here like Debbie and Martin and bookwormmom and Oliver, and am pleased and excited to learn more.