Vent [Archive] - BHM Forum

mtwildflower

01-08-2009, 06:45 PM

01-08-2009, 06:57 PM

Well, you can at least fix the dog problem with a conibear... Penny plinker will tell you how to use it... lol lol

DM

mtwildflower

01-09-2009, 06:12 AM

Mmmm...conibears...we have some of those. I'd love to see that little no good piece of canine in a conibear.

Maybe I'll wait until just before the neighbor takes her precious to the groomer again...and gets that little bastard all shaved and frou froued with bows and crap. Then maybe the "pelt" would be worth something.

The thought makes me smile....laugh even.

gwhilikerz

01-09-2009, 06:42 AM

Feel better? I know well about the dog problem. I live on a "street?" with 3 neighbors. We all have dogs. Who has the only dog that never goes out without being on a leash? That would be us. I am surrounded by a pit bull, chihuahua, fox terrier and a pit-lab mix. I "pick-up" after everybody's dog, unless my dog actually does "go" twenty time a day.

Shamrock1121

01-09-2009, 07:02 AM

Okay. I am sick of frugal living!!!! I am tired of pinching pennies and going without and having very little. Yes, I happy I have hot water, and yes I'm grateful for a warm house and overall healthy kids and a good relationship with my husband and most of my neighbors....blah blah blah.....

I'm sick of my furniture that's probably pushing 30 years old and I am sick of fixing pipes and recaulking windows and crappy looking showers surrounds and ugly blue and taupe toilets...and not being able to get new shiny stuff....argh argh argh....

I wanna hit the lotto and spend like there's no freaking tomorrow and be irresponsible and make someone else pay for it, preferably all the people who picked on me as a little kid and my ex husband for starters. Then the neighbor whose little useless dog shits on my lawn and runs away as soon as I open my front door.

There...I said it. *:P

I was over-joyed when we went from a point in life where poverty level would have been a financial step-up, and eventually where we had enough money to BE frugal ;).

Now in our mid-50's, we make a comfortable living, we're debt-free, and are still frugal. In fact, it's like a challenge.

We now hire things done that years ago we would have done ourselves because there's enough money (from being frugal) to do so - and that IS a nice benefit. You get to the point where you'll be damned if you get on the roof and put on shingles again (been there, done that).

Our home is nearly 3-years old, and there's as much to do in it as there was in the older home we lived in for 23-years. We're still killing ourselves outside developing the landscaping and doing it a little at a time each spring and fall. Look at the money we've saved by doing it ourselves, but off-loading a pick-up load of river rock and moving it into place isn't one of my favorite things to do in life ::). I guess I should be thankful we CAN do it ourselves. Changes, updates, fixes, and general maintanance is one of those things that doesn't seem to change.

I took care of the dog-do-do problem. Perhaps this will work for you. I made a BIG sign (big enough to clearly read from the street by every passing vehicle) and placed it by the "load" - with a big arrow pointing to the pile - saying WHO's dog it belonged to and how irresponsible the owner of the dog was NOT to pick it up out of our yard. We have a leash law, so there SHOULD be a human with the dog. If not, I call and report a loose dog. I don't have a problem with a dog doing what a dog does while being walked... The problem is with the human who doesn't bother to pick it up from my yard.

I've also been known to pick it up, and if I know who the owner is, will return it to them. I've even gotten in the car and caught up to them on their walk and handed it to them. That ALSO tends to make them walk their dogs in a different direction than our house. ;D

-Karen

MNMOM

01-09-2009, 07:10 AM

Oh, Shamrock, that is funny! ;D ;D ;D
You sound like my daughter and how they have taken care of people that let their dog's poo all over everyone else's yards.

By all means, take it out on the owner, not the dog.

Mtwildflower, I can sympathize with you on where you are coming from, so many are in the same boat as you, vent all you want, it really does help.

We built a new home two years ago, I know all about the dated colors etc. but, I would rather be back there than to have the bills hanging over our head. Everything would be just fine if we could sell our old house, we've had several interested, but they can't get loans right now.

Stay warm, and healthy, that's the main thing. ;)

Buck

01-09-2009, 07:58 AM

mtwildflower

01-09-2009, 08:46 AM

The poo is really not an issue. It's actually so miniscule that if I were to look for it, I probably wouldn't find it. The part that torks me off is that the little monster knows it's pissing me off. It literally comes onto my lawn in front of my big window, LOOKS to see if I am looking out, and THEN hikes it's hind legs up while kind of doing it 'handstand' and then dumps right there in front of me. I swear the little varmit is laughing at me as I head to my front door.

However, while that little dog may be the bane of my exisitence for a few moments once in awhile, the problem is really having to be frugal and getting no where.

Frugality is barely keeping the heat on and nothing else. It's not helping to get my husband new boots or glasses, or my daughters the things they need for school. It sure as hell isn't paying the medical bills for our daughter who spent 12 days in the NICU and had to have surgery. We did have insurance, but the deductible is substantial...and we're behind...as in being taken to collection agencies kind of behind.

I was laid off from my legal secretary job last February and because I was 8 weeks pregnant, didn't find anything else. I have never not had a job of some kind and there is just nothing available. I did have a daycare for a few years that I have tried to start agian, but all I can get are two kids a couple of days a week. It's something, but no where near enough.

Our savings is depleted from the trip I had to make to Atlanta to have our daughter in August and we aren't even able to put anything aside right now, let alone make our bills.

Besides it being winter, the season I hate the most, it's so frustrating. Looking at my ugly blue toilet the other day just cemented it for some reason. I guess if I had a good lookin' toilet, then I wouldn't be feeling so dang desperate.

Argh!

Buck

01-09-2009, 09:36 AM

What you're discribing is "getting aquainted with poverty" and that's always
hard for all people.

Now it's more important than ever to keep the good things in your life
directly in front of you while you ignore all the other troubles. The good
things will always be there while all the rest.......will pass.

jebrown

01-09-2009, 10:34 AM

mtwildflower
My situation is similar to yours. At one time I was earning very good money. Spent and bought freely. And then one day boom
I came down with diabetes and diabetic neuropathy. Every thing workwise came to a grinding halt. My biggest problem is muscle weakness. Just think about the humility of needing to use a pair of pliers to open a 20 oz. bottle of diet coke. Yes family will do it for me but they are not always home.
Now I survive on a VA pension. Huge income deficit there.
The house I live in is like yours. I inherited it whern my Mom passed in 2002. I own it free and clear but for the last 3 - 4 years she refused to do any maintenance. The list and repair problems is too numerous.
Some days are good and some are bad. Sometimes I feel like filling both tanks on my van and hitting the road to I don't care where. Some days just feel like I am being overwhelmed. I know that this is all due to my health. I also know that things will work out eventually.
I am not trying to diminish yor situation. Just wanted you to know that others experience what you are and understand 100% about how you feel. I also know how good it is to rant and express your feelings.
I do that sometimes. It doesn't solve any problems but it damn sure makes you feel a whole lot better. Like a big weight is lifted from your shoulders.

RocketMan

01-09-2009, 12:25 PM

I hope things start looking up for you. I've been buying the lottery tickets a lot lately myself! But, you know if you won millions of dollars, you'd have relatives you don't even know asking for money, Uncle Sam wanting his cut, off the wall charities wanting a cut, salesmen calling, on-and-on.
My job will probably be gone sometime in 2010, so I'm trying to get out of debt by then. In the meantime, I'm paying for an apartment, paying on my property so I'll have a place to go when I'm unemployed, helping my daughter through college, and basically supporting my Mom who is living on social security and pretty much broke by the 10th of the month. Everybody must think I'm sitting on this huge pile of money, so I am the one they call when they need cash. I'm able to pay the bills, but can't put any away to cover me for when I lose my job. They kind of act like that's not their problem, and I feel like they're pretty much saying "now you know how I feel." Now I know you HAVE to take of your family, or at least your parents as they get older. But the other ones who are perfectly able to work but don't want to, they're on their own now.
I do know it's going to be a big change when my job goes away, and I am excited to move to the homestead and start living simply and frugally, but I'm also nervous and scared about how I'm going to make it. I also wonder sometimes if working all the hours, traveling, and the stress are worth the money, especially after seeing how much of my check is gone to taxes. It's almost not worth it, and I wonder if I'd be better off broke.

gwhilikerz

01-09-2009, 02:18 PM

RocketMan I spent 30 years with the same company. 75 miles a day round trip just to get to and from work. 30 years of buying a new car every 3 years. 30 years of "keeping up with the Jones". Then i got sick and had to look at things differently. I can now report that broke is better. Not broke in the sense of being penniless and homeless, but a "planned" broke where you have just enough to get by. That is all anyone truly needs.

rideaway

01-10-2009, 06:56 AM

We are waiting for the refinance that we have been working on for 4 months to finish-that will give us an extra $600 a month. In the meantime, tie-rod is about to give out on car, so every time I go anywhere I pray big time, truck sits because transmission is out and I switch which utilitie bills to pay each month, and the sad thing is we both have good government jobs, with no car payments, etc just a large property payment thanks to being garnished due to a bill my ex didn't pay and my name was on it.

The first month into the refinance we won't have a payment and I am getting both rigs fixed, getting new socks and underwear for all of us, etc. But it was supposed to happen last month and due to needed engineering, it is on hold. I am pissed off and depressed with no really good reason and that is ok for now, as long as I don't take it to extremes!

Mtwildflower go buy the biggest tub of spendy ice cream you can find and enjoy it to the fullest. Sometimes we just need to treat ourselves!

MYellowRose

01-10-2009, 10:48 AM

Wildflower I'm with you about the dog. DD and girls and I live in a trailer and don't own a dog. People next door have either 2 or 3 and they love to use our little bit of yard for their bathroom and the owner never cleans it up. We have to be very careful when leaving but weekdays we leave before dawn and can't always see the dumps! DD told me this morning there was a dog in the yard because she could hear it lapping water, I keep water outside for the feral cats. When I opened the door there was a very large black lab looking at me. I promptly said "Go Home!" in a loud voice. He immediately started barking viciously and lunged towards the steps. I backed up and grabbed my cane and stuck it out the door in his direction and again told him to go home, it didn't work. I came back in and called the sheriff's dept. nonemergency number. Two deputies came out and we looked for and found the dog. Since I don't know who actually owns him they would go knock on any doors and didn't want to call animal patrol because all the loose dogs would be picked up! Now it's up to me to locate the owner, call the sheriff's office back and tell them then they'll send someone out to talk to the owner! Lot of good that will do to my way of thinking. There is a leash law in the county but it isn't enforced and it doesn't look like it's going to be either. Sure wish I could get back inside the city limits as the city cops don't put up with this kind of b.s., at least not on the southside where I usually live.

anna

01-10-2009, 06:10 PM

My dh uses his bb gun to discourage dogs and cats from using our yard and garden as their potty. Since its illegal to shoot a bb gun in town, dh went to the police and got permission to shoot rabbits in the garden. He also shoots anything else that gets in his garden...not to kill just to encourage them to leave.

Frugal living is hard. I should know I've been doing it all my life. Right now I'd give about anything (except $'s) to get rid of the 30 year old carpet in my house, but its not going to happen anytime soon. Thru the years I've learned to get on my knees and give thanks for what I do have. So the toilet is blue, so what. In the big picture that isn't important -- its a toilet and it works -- that's important!

Over the next few years most everyone in the USA is going to learn some very hard lessons on the difference between wants and needs. Jobs are going away and they aren't coming back.

If you went thru my house, you'd see old furniture that was mostly purchased used, closet full of thrift store clothing, well equipped kitchen mostly from auctions and garage sales. My washer was purchased in 1976 and the dryer in 1979. The dryer isn't used much because we hang clothes outside in good weather and in the basement in bad. What we have spent $'s on are an energy efficient furnace, a/c, refrigerator.

If you are unable to find work, have you considered homeschooling your daughters? It gets them out of the "have to have what everyone else has" public school attitude.

Having been there, done that, I'd guess that you are angry about losing your job and frustrated about not finding another and grieving for the loss of your comfortable lifestyle. The bottom line is really letting it go and replacing it with the new reality.

The last time I was to a movie was when Home Alone Two first came out. The last time I was to a good restaurant was in January. The last time we bought a new car was 1960. I buy a new pair of shoes every other year and the only reason I don't buy at a thrift shop is I wear a size that has to be special ordered.

leera

01-11-2009, 05:26 AM

I can totally sympathize with you.Been there,done that kind of thing.

I get pissed off every time it rains and the roof leaks,the floors are weak in spots,and sometimes the front door won't open,or when it will,it won't close.....sick and tired of this BS living in a rusted tin can paying lot rent and having nothing yet to show for all the money that goes out every month....

Get even more angry when we're still fixing the damage hubby's parents did to his finances,after 10 years of being married!

BUT,on the bright side,the bills are paid,the car still runs(knock on wood),and hopefully by summer we'll be looking at buying a house again......

I get tired of clipping coupons,scrounging for spare change to buy a soda,and sitting at the computer wrapped in a blanket because I'm afraid to turn the heat up any higher,the bill is bad enough where the thermostat sits now......

We spent years trying to keep up with the Jones' so to speak,having friends that made WAY WAY more money than us,and being afraid to tell them how broke we really were.......being afraid to admit that we were in over our heads.....living in a world of credit cards and fake friends..........

Learning to live on a cash only budget was very hard,and took a lot of getting used to,at times we were so far behind on bills that the only phones calls we got were bill collectors,had several things go to collections,and nearly lost the car.......

We lost some friends,or so called friends.......but now having fully adjusted to our real income,and made real friends who don't care that we're broke,don't care that we can't afford steak every day,and we still manage to have fun..............

What I'm really sick of right now.......shoveling snow.........we've moved more snow so far this winter than we have had to move in several years combined....... :P

I agree on the ice cream.........best comfort food there is(to me anyway)......... ;D

For the dog problem.......try a motion activated sprinkler......

Molly,if that had been me,I would have whacked that dog on the nose with the cane as hard as I could.......
maybe you should get some pepper spray? That'll chase 'em off......

gwhilikerz

01-11-2009, 06:58 AM

MyellowRose I'm afraid you are inviting the dogs over because you put out water for feral cats. The lady living next door to us puts out food for "helpless animals". Then the rest of the neighborhood becomes the dumping station.

mtwildflower

01-11-2009, 01:59 PM

Anna-

"Having been there, done that, I'd guess that you are angry about losing your job and frustrated about not finding another and grieving for the loss of your comfortable lifestyle. The bottom line is really letting it go and replacing it with the new reality."

This statement is insulting to me. You assume too much.

I have never owned a "new" car. In fact two years ago we did buy a 9 year old Chevy Suburban with our tax return that we got for a good price because no one was buying them when gas was almost $3 a gallon. That's the newest vehicle I have ever had, and it was a good investment. I'll probably have it for 20 years. It's also the first vehicle I've ever had where our whole family can ride at once.

I hardly ever have new anything and that's the way it's been all my life...although ten years ago, I did buy some new appliances and paid top dollar for them thinking I would have them a long time. Ha! My fridge wasn't even 10 years old when it went kaplooey and my washer and dryer are on their last legs. I bought them in 1997 with a small profit we made on the house we sold. Seriously, those are the only new things of significant expense I've ever bought.

I'm just getting to an age where I am sick of scrounging, sick of fixing, sick of going without most of the time. "Comfortable" to me is being able to pay the bills and take a weekend trip camping somewhere once in awhile. It's not trips to Disneyland or designer clothes or being able to "detail the Escalade" or any of that. And when I mention things my kids "need" at school, I mean snow boots and school supplies, not ipods and ear buds. Homeschooling is not something we want to do. (and how is that supposed to be more cost effective when you have books and expenses that you don't with public school?) They are in high school and middle school and it's across the street from the house. Not like they have to ever drive, thank goodness. And, they don't ask for much anyway, I'd just like to have a little room to treat them a bit more often.

My job kept our heads above water when my ex wouldn't, for whatever reason, pay his measly child support. I'm not even getting that right now. THAT makes me angry. The man pulled in 63K between January and October 2008 and he's too frickin "poor" to pay his child support....a measly 300 per month? Cry me a river.

flatwater

01-11-2009, 02:23 PM

We all want what you want. Nobody likes to be poor. I have been on both ends before. Having money gives you a whole lot more choices. I've had to pay my place off twice , this last time I told the wife never again. I really don't care what any of my stuff looks like as long as my wife and I have each other and a deck of cards were happy. But with this being a crappy winter I see why you feel this way. When the sun starts to shine you will feel better

tomato204

01-11-2009, 05:54 PM

Lessee...you are a legal secratary. You were laid off FOR BEING PReGNANT, is that right? Why have you not filed suit?
edit: Sorry, I mis-read that. A little sue-happy I guess. LOL. I can sympathize with the dog situation. I would soak the area in red pepper where he goes. they usually sniff first. Or I would squirt him with a vinegar/red pepper spray whenever he is in MY yard. The owner will get it by osmosis eventually.

anna

01-11-2009, 08:20 PM

I didn't intend any insult. I'm soon to be 66 and I'm still working full time and will be for the foreseeable future. So if you still have kids at home I'm assuming you're younger so I've been doing this for awhile longer. My only intention was to point out that attitude is everything. You can make yourself miserable about being poor and the constant struggles or you can look for things to be thankful for and attempt to keep on the bright side.

Your ex is a deadbeat dad. His sin, his loss. Just be thankful for your wonderful children and let him and his garbage go.

When dh became disabled we lost 2/3's of our income plus had to pay $750 a month COBRA on my income plus our 20% copays. One year our medical expenses exceeded my income and for many years half or more of my income has gone for medical. That has improved somewhat in that last year as with Medicare coverage (cause we're OLD) we had only around $7,000 in medical expenses. Our choice is to have medical care instead of anything else. I've learned to say thank you Lord for the money to pay for medical care and for living in a country where medical care is available. I could rant and rave about having to work full time when I really, really am ready to retire. Instead I choose to be thankful I have a job when so many do not.

I'm no saint. I have days when I rant more than a bit, others when I descend into a pity party and even more when I'm angry at circumstances and seeing my dh suffer daily. If I stick with those attitudes for long, then I'm miserable. Doesn't change anything or improve anything, just makes me and anyone around me miserable. So I try to lean on the Lord and stay on an even keel and keep on keeping on.

Terri

01-12-2009, 05:49 AM

Nothing lasts forever, and that USUALLY includes poverty. I have been broke many times.

I waited with baited breath until the cars were paid off and I could repair a few things, but, there is so MUCH to be repaired now! We are STILL poor!

A few ways for me to NOT feel poor:

Pay myself an allowance for the little things. You feel much LESS poor if you can buy a coke while you are in town running errants, or a treat at the weekly grocery shopping (Candy bar or a peach or???). If you do not spend it all, set it aside for the next week. I allow myself $25 a week, but about $15 of that goes for little unexpected things for the kids. That leaves me enough for the odd treat. Did you know that one of the local grocery stores sells crab rangoon 2 for $1? I stop in when I am running errands in that direction!

Go to the library, and have hot chocolate or something waiting when you get home. Reheat the chocolate, wrap up with a blanket, and read.

Send away to wintersown for free seeds. It is FUN!

And, the last thing I can think of on the top of my head, is think about all of the people, in this country and others, *who consider you to be very, very rich.

mtwildflower

01-12-2009, 04:48 PM

TOMATO- I didn't lose my job because I was pregnant, I lost it because the partners dissolved the firm and my boss decided he didn't want to pay my what I was making ( The firm paid me, not him.) He told me that I needed to go look for another job and was giving me my notice. Then I told him , "but my husband got laid off yesterday (he really had) and I'm pregnant! " The look on his face was priceless. He went seriously white, LOL. The problem with being preggo is that I may have gotten another job, but the new boss would soon see I was expecting and within the fist 6 months of a job, an employer can let you go for any reason or no reason. If they say, "well, you're preggo," then THAT'S basis for a suit, but not if they keep their mouth shut. Besides, I wouldn't have stayed anyway.

I'm mostly having a pity poor me party, people. I'm just tired and I'm worried about the future and irritated to be in this place in my life right now. I'm 41 and things should be better than this. My husband is retired military, with a good record, I've worked hard all my life....I want to start seeing some rewards, dammit.

And one of those rewards would be a nice shiney new toilet. *:P (figuratively) Doesn't seem to be too much to want.

rideaway

01-12-2009, 04:52 PM

I can so totally see where you are and sympathize. The best thing that has happened is somehow we got a new manufactured, so now all my old furniture looks crappier than ever, but at least the home is nice-LOL.

Anyway, just wanted you to know I understand totally-makes you wonder why we try to save when nothing goes right anyway!

Hang in there!

Junie

01-12-2009, 05:33 PM

Cover your whole porch with sticky traps, then let the neighbor worry about how to get 'em off!

I'm kind of where you are about being sick of scrimping on stuff. It's a whole lot different when it's no longer 'voluntary simplicity', but 'INvoluntary simplicity'.

sbemt456

01-12-2009, 07:41 PM

Set bunches of mouse traps in the yard. Wont seriously hurt the animals but make the yard unappealing to them. This also works to prevent dogs from digging out of their pen.

Prayers for ya and keep your chin up.

stella

Terri

01-14-2009, 03:47 AM

A shiny new toilet?

My Mother showed me something when she was out 2 weeks ago. You buy a pumice stone from the hardware store and use it on any hard-water rings or rusty areas. It really DID work, and it did NOT scratch the toilet!

Instant shiny new toilet!

anna

01-14-2009, 09:22 AM

Except it would still be blue!

Terri

01-14-2009, 09:52 AM

Except it would still be blue!
Got any spray paint? :o

It would still look awfull, but it would not be blue!

mtwildflower

01-14-2009, 10:01 AM

LOL...if I took a can of spray paint to the sucker, the only way my husband would be okay with it is if I painted it camo like his trucks.

Terri

01-14-2009, 10:57 AM

LOL...if I took a can of spray paint to the sucker, the only way my husband would be okay with it is if I painted it camo like his trucks.

Hey, guys LOVE camo!

HMm... Think if I make mine camo, DS will start aiming better? (Cheap shot, there: he rarely misses! For a guy, that is! Girls do NOT miss!)

johnjmw

01-14-2009, 01:28 PM

Um, I'm just a guy, but when doing dishes and cleaning Corning ware we use baking soda to take off anything cooked in. Doesn't matter how long and often it was cooked on. Wouldn't baking soda on a damp rag remove the stains on a toilet? put 1/4 cup in the water and let it soak for a short time (hour or so) then drain as much of the water in the bowl and have at it.
John

Terri

01-14-2009, 07:00 PM

It might remove those stains: I will try it the next time I have a ring before I buy a pumice stone. I think my Mom threw the one that she had bought out.

Junie

01-14-2009, 07:50 PM

http://www.askthebuilder.com/400_Paint_a_Toilet.shtml

johnjmw

01-15-2009, 03:00 AM

Oh, I forgot to mention, when you "go at it" use a paper towel or wet rag with a dusting of baking soda on it. The Soda dissolves as you rub it into the stain.
John

mtwildflower

01-15-2009, 07:10 AM

It not stained or gross, people, it's just blue and ugly.

But thanks for the cleaning tips :-/

Catalpa

01-16-2009, 05:14 AM

LOL, Wildflower, I think you got more cleaning tips than anything!

I can understand your sense of frustration; I've felt it myself when trying so hard to be careful with spending and wanting to say 'just once I'd like to buy what I want!'

I am blessed in that I still have a job, even though it's been cut to four days/week, and that my kid and I have a roof over our heads and some food in the cupboard. Paying the heat bill and the property taxes, though, has me pinched and worried.

At least my toilet's not blue! ;D Just something to think about....keep an eye out when driving past a remodeling job, sometimes they'll put a perfectly good toilet out by the curb. It would be pretty gross to pick it up and drag it home, but a good powerwashing and new wax seal later, maybe you could get rid of the old blue monster. (And I can sympathize on this.....the one I pulled out of my house was pink!)

Hang in there, keep working and keep praying, and if it helps, stick your head out the window and scream once in a while.

(And if it startles the little varmit-dog into peeing on his own paws, so much the better!)

johnjmw

01-16-2009, 08:34 AM

Opps, sorry dont know where I got that idea from!

John

Terri

01-16-2009, 04:39 PM

Probably because she said she wants a shiny new toilet, instead of a non-blue toilet.

I saw at the time that her desire for a new Joohn could be due to more than one reason, but, there is not much I could say about anything BUT hard-water stains! I am a do-it-yourselfer, but I cannot talk her through making a toilet! There are LIMITS!

anna

01-17-2009, 06:05 PM

Maybe you'd like to trade. I have a harvest gold that I could trade for your blue!!!

mtwildflower

01-18-2009, 06:41 AM

At least the ugly blue toilet FLUSHES! Which is more than I can say for most of the shiny new counterparts!

gregabob

01-18-2009, 08:41 AM

At least the ugly blue toilet FLUSHES! Which is more than I can say for most of the shiny new counterparts!
LOL!!! 'Water saving' toilets have to be flushed 2 or 3 times to get the job done-so where's the savings? Keep the blue one Montana....

CatherineID

01-18-2009, 10:17 AM

Well I was going to respond to the low-flow toilet comment but that really isn't the issue, is it? BTW, low-flow toilet technology has improved considerably and the current models are fantastic (I own Toto brand). Plus a low-flow toilet saves your septic system.

Okay ... the frugal blahs. Yes, I've been there. I'm feeling rather blah right now due to the grey January weather. You're not alone in that.

I think the reason we tend to make resolutions at this time of the year is because this blah-season makes us ready for a big change. Personally, I have been finding that I get a bug-up-my-behind and will suddenly declutter something. I decided to start fresh with my spice cabinet. Who knows how long some of those things have been in there. They are probably flavorless now. Everything went into the compost. Next was the refrigerator. Don't need to use condiments so old they might be from the first Bush administration.

Okay, the reality is (and I know this from experience) if you're frugal and still barely making bills, then you're still living beyond your income. I know after losing a job it takes a while to make adjustments. But you guys really do need to crank down the lifestyle. That doesn't mean living poorer. It might even mean a life with less stress and more happiness. I'll leave it to you to figure out how you're going to do that. Getting back to putting money in a savings account on a regular basis is the first step.

mtwildflower

01-18-2009, 08:32 PM

Okay, the reality is (and I know this from experience) if you're frugal and still barely making bills, then you're still living beyond your income. I know after losing a job it takes a while to make adjustments. But you guys really do need to crank down the lifestyle. That doesn't mean living poorer. It might even mean a life with less stress and more happiness. I'll leave it to you to figure out how you're going to do that. Getting back to putting money in a savings account on a regular basis is the first step.

"crank down on the lifestyle." I can't crank it down any more. We do not do anything extra. I can't "not" pay rent, or heat, or insurance, or gas to get to work ( and yes, my DH does carpool) or skip the medical bills. We don't have TV or cell phones. I do have internet, but it's $25 a month and I am not giving that up. My girls need it for homework and dammit, I like my computer time.

And I am not giving up my hot shower either.

CanNerd

01-19-2009, 10:47 AM

Its sad and hard that you are struggling. I lost my job (before it was popular to do so) and was in the $70K-$120K range, but could not find ANY doors open because of age and lack of corporate experience since I always had worked family-type businesses. I went over 7 years until I finally got on Social Security. Being frugal wasn't the word for it. It was survival!

I find now that living on a limited income and being frugal is a "positive" challenge and not something to depress me. And I have not been deprived of the important things in life. With Attitude there is hope.

gregabob

01-19-2009, 10:10 PM

"crank down on the lifestyle." I can't crank it down any more. We do not do anything extra. I can't "not" pay rent, or heat, or insurance, or gas to get to work ( and yes, my DH does carpool) or skip the medical bills. We don't have TV or cell phones. I do have internet, but it's $25 a month and I am not giving that up. My girls need it for homework and dammit, I like my computer time.

And I am not giving up my hot shower either. Well, you could melt snow in a pot using a woodfire and take a spongebath........ ;D But really, it does sound like you've cut back about as far as you can. I've been there, living in a bunkhouse with little water and eating tuna and mac+cheese. Heating water with a hotplate and sponging off til I could afford a plastic shower stall to put in the bathroom. You'll be ok, come Spring you'll wonder what all the fuss was about. ;)

Maranna

01-26-2009, 08:50 AM

I hate having to live the way I do too. I have no hot water, have to heat it to take a bath, which is a plastic tub I can't even sit down in.

I have no running water inside, have a porta pottie that gets emptied once a week, because it's just me using it. I have a well, which is down, until Friday when I get my SSI check, (I'm partially blind and have a bad back). Having to repair the well, means no groceries can be bought this month, unless my older son gives me some money.

I have no transportation, live two miles off of the bus route, three miles from the grocery store. The Christian group that was giving me a ride to the store once a month, disbanded. When I went to the store this month, it cost me $20 round trip by cab, that's three miles one way. My son gave me cab fare. No sidewalks out here, and it's a busy road, it's hard for me to walk to the store, then no way to bring the groceries back.

My family doesn't live here, and no friends here, only on the internet. This old place is paid for, so at least no mortgage payments. But nobody wants to give me a decent price, so can't afford to move to a better place.

Only have two dogs now, so don't have as much poo to clean up, but the smaller dog is very old, so she just goes to the end of her ramp and comes back in.That leaves me going out every couple of days and cleaning up after her. At least she's house broke. The bigger dog usually goes way out back, so I only have to clean up after him once or so a month.

I hate living frugal too, but at least we're alive and have a bit of a roof over our heads.

Saoirse

01-29-2009, 07:16 PM

Hi MTWildflower:
I read your "vent" about frugality when you wrote it.
Been meaning to post this for awhile.
I dislike giving unsolicited advice, but here it goes.

Maybe you need to look at the whole picture.
You are very well versed on issues of frugality,
so being a spendthrift is not the problem.
I suggest that you may want to consider a fresh approach.

I won't go into details, but I have been through a lot of tough times.
Things happened that destroyed people tougher & smarter than me,
but I survived. I'm still standing.

I learned one big thing:
NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, NEVER GIVE UP.
Sometimes we forget that each of us controls our own destiny.
Miracles happen when we decide that we are not victims.

Libraries are a great place to begin a new journey.
Here are some books that have helped me overcome enormous obstacles.
Not all will suit you, but this will serve you as a good starter list.
None require money to get started on improving your life.

Think & Grow Rich - Napoleon Hill
Feng Shui - Lillian Too has written numerous books, most of which are great
Atlas Shrugged - Ayn Rand (Fiction. Political)
Under the Influence - James Robert Milam
The Richest Man in Babylon - George Clason
The Millionaire Next Door - T. Stanley & R. Danko
7 Habits of Highly Effective People - Stephen Covey
Live Your Dreams - Les Brown
Any book by Suze Orman (lots of good ones)

There are many helpful web sites, videos, shows (Dave Ramsey) & audio tapes.
Sometimes you can find free seminars (just say NO when they try to sell you stuff.)

There are many others, but these are my favorites.
Goal setting is a good place to start.
There is much to learn from other cultures as well.
Many folks turn to Native American spirituality, others find yoga helps...
There is a universe full of ideas.
Keep hitting buttons until you find the right one.

You have to find what works for you..
We create our own reality.
I have read what you have written & I know you can do it.
You can accomplish anything if it is truly your desire. (Not just a wish, remember this.)
I firmly believe that NOTHING is ever taken from us without an equal or greater benefit.
To sum up what some other forum folks have said: Wealth gathers in a grateful pocket.

Best wishes for your future.
P.S. Some well placed red pepper or a mouse trap may cure the dog problem. :)

EarthMama

01-29-2009, 08:48 PM

Okay. I am sick of frugal living!!!!

There...I said it. :P

*LOL* I don't know how I missed this post when you first wrote it, MtWildFlower, but I'm sure glad I saw it now.

I've felt like this on more occasions than one too. Just hang on... it passes. ;D

Modified to say:

My house is 30+ years old too. Original everything, including carpet. Most of our furniture we're using had been used by my dad and mom... especially a few chairs that used to belong to daddy... and he's been gone almost 22 years now. :o

I can't even treat my little one to McDonald's anymore... not even once in a blue moon. :-/ I hate it but am grateful (*grumble-grumble*) that hubby is still working and there's food in the pantry and our toilets flush and I get my hot shower every evening and.... lots of other things that, if I wasn't too preoccupied with the "what I don't haves", I'd be able to see. :-[

mtwildflower

04-07-2009, 11:59 PM

Thanks for all your kind words people. Sick and tired usually happens to me in January and makes me whiney and bitchy. Thanks for putting up with me.

On the bright side...it's April now. We have survived another winter of incredibly high heat bills ( nothing we can remedy at this point.)

We got our taxes done and are waiting for a refund that will pay the rest of our daughter's medical bills.

And, my husband got a job here in our town that pays $2 more than his last one and since he doesn't have to commute 75 miles a day, we are saving bukus on gas. It feels like he got a $4 raise when we factor in gas money. It also feels like we gained three hours a day...an hour in the morning, an hour in the evening, and an hour at lunch because he can come home at noon and eat with us. He commutes by foot the five blocks to the town shop.

We are living below the federal poverty level, but with the new job and no commute, we feel like we got a big fat raise.

As for the blue toilet, it's still there, but I just don't turn on the light in the bathroom.

momma_to_seven_chi

04-08-2009, 06:43 AM

Definitely turn ON the light in the bathroom blue toilet or not. You know how husbands are sometimes when it comes to the toilet seat. IIICCCKKKK!

And my house is over 130years old. I've lived here for almost 30yrs, so nobody should feel badly about a 30yo home. I am fortunate enough to have a beige toilet though.

Have a great spring, full of prosperity.

mtwildflower

04-08-2009, 11:44 AM

And my house is over 130years old. *I've lived here for almost 30yrs, so nobody should feel badly about a 30yo home. *

I said my furniture was 30 years old. My house is about 60 years old. I live in a fairly young town and this place was the Mormon church, built when the town was founded.

reedb66

04-08-2009, 05:36 PM

I hope I am doing the right thing,My wife and I couldnt get credit when we were first married and we soon got over it and started buying everything with cash as we earned it.Did that for 17 or 18 years .Then we moved to missouri and instantly we had great credit with a small bank.We bought our house thru the bank (third homestead, first time we financed one)always before we bought what we could afford than fixed it up and sold.We bought what we needed for a homestead and kept the payments low ,Still bought cars and anything else for cash.I worked in law enforcement for several years and just became more and more depressed and disgusted with how laws are used and bent to serve the purpose of keeping people in jail for stupid reasons( I realize child molesters need to be shot so I dont mean those kind of crimes)Finally I just came to the realization that something needed to change Sooo I quit my job ( only making $9.00 hr as a sgt ) and did something scrary to me BORROWED $18,000 DOLLARS to start my own business WOW.I think this was the best thing I could have done ,I am a lot happier .Just miss the days of owing nothing to no one!!I am going to pay off all my loans asap.Having credit is nice cause it lets you do more but to me its scary even though I was very careful to make sure I could afford the bills .Just my thoughts.

Reed

reedb66

04-08-2009, 05:44 PM

Oh forgot about the dog,We had a dog coming to our house all the time and barking and stirring up my dogs(we have a fenced in yard).I knew who owned the dog and after 15 0r 20 times of returning the dog to him I told him that it would be a pity if he died of lead poisoning !!! Havent seen the dog since ;D
Reed

Terri

04-09-2009, 09:13 AM

I think that midwinter is bad for a lot of us.

The bills are high, especially for heating. We get tired of being cooped up. Christmas makes us parents have really tight belts.

It is spring time now, and life will soon be LOVELY! Low gas bills, a tax return, veggies from the garden, etc etc.

harvester

04-10-2009, 06:31 AM

see, this is why i insist on having a fenced property line. When we moved here there were nighbor dogs running everywhere. This property had been empty for roughly 5 months and the dogs knew it, they used it as their personal potty park.
Then we moved in. The gate got shut and my akita had full run. Im sorry, but even the beautiful mastiff didnt stand a chance!
In the first 6 months we were here my akita "dispatched" 5 dogs who thought it was cool to either pull up the fence and come in or jump the fence and come in to use the toilet. There was only one survivor dog that got into the yard. it was a tiny little pom cross dog that aparantly was simply lost and meaning absolutely no harm to my livestock. My akita was sleeping with him on the porch in the morning. Our jaws dropped when we saw it. We absolutely trust Luke's decision and cleaned up the little fur ball and that day the owners came for it. It had been missing since 4th of july, almost two months.
I have no pity for people who deliberately let little "pepe" out for a morning romp all over the neighborhood. Especially when little "pepe" ends up trying to do bad deeds. And neither does Luke. But for a dog who panicked at the 4th celebrations and means no harm, even Luke has pity.

momma_to_seven_chi

04-10-2009, 07:12 AM

In the first 6 months we were here my akita "dispatched" 5 dogs who thought it was cool to either pull up the fence and come in or jump the fence and come in to use the toilet. There was only one survivor dog that got into the yard.

My anatolian dog killed an intruding cat the other day. We have an invisible fence system with the electric collars. But my one male dog completely ignores it if he is in "hot pursuit" of an intruder. I had to put him in the fenced kennel after he got hold of that cat.
He is either very stupid or very determined. He will go right through the perimeter even though we have the long prongs on the collar and it is set on the highest correction level. He yelps once in a while, but keeps going. One of my friends suggested I shave his neck, but I don't want the collar to burn him. I decided just to kennel him. I don't care if he kills an intruder animal on my property, but I don't want him to pursue it off the property.

Now all the Pyrenees are fine with the collars. I only have to set them at two which is the lowest physical correction level. But the anatolian can be very assertive except to this one nasty beagle from down the way. That is his friend.

Kelleysvt

04-10-2009, 08:46 AM

I can commiserate with you - except in my house it's an unfinished wall and a window that was installed sideways by well meaning volunteers. I've been staring at exposed walls for 5 years because we can't ever afford the materials to finish it.
When I get to feeling that way it does help to remind myself of all the good things but there are days that that wall just makes me insane - it's depressing. When it starts to get overwhelming I try to find more ways to be even MORE frugal - and let me tell you - after 5 years I'm having to get creative!! For some reason I actually find comfort in sitting down and 'running the numbers' various ways. Don't ask me why, maybe because it's less intimidating when I'm looking at the facts rather than my emotions.
Whenever we get a little extra cash DH will work on 'something'. I just wish it was that stupid wall!
A new toilet can be had for $100-200 if you can figure out how to install it yourselves (and it's not hard - even I could do it and I don't ever handle tools). Every once in a while I see one for free on freecycle (if you can get over the gross factor of a used toilet!). After that it's just a couple of bolts and a gasket.
But like my wall... first you have to HAVE $100 to $200.

mtwildflower

04-10-2009, 09:20 AM

The dog thing may very well be coming to an end as well. Since my husband got a job with the town, it's looking like he will be the town dog catcher.

Yep....no lie.

momma_to_seven_chi

04-10-2009, 09:50 AM

The dog thing may very well be coming to an end as well. Since my husband got a job with the town, it's looking like he will be the town dog catcher.

Dog catchers with soft hearts end up with numerous pets. They can't bear to let them be destroyed.

kittencaboodle

04-10-2009, 10:13 AM

I've been in your position more than once. Only in our case we're poor because my husband loves his kids and DOES pay his child support. :)

We live pretty frugally and really pick and choose what we spend our money on. What I have to do from time to time is take a deep breath and look at what we have that makes us better off than most people.

It may not work all the time, but then I sit down, cry about it and indulge in self pity for about 10 minutes, and then dust myself off and try again.

I'll make you a deal, if I win the lottery, I'll share with you and vice versa? ;)

reedb66

04-10-2009, 04:16 PM

reedb66

04-10-2009, 04:20 PM

kittencaboodle

give your husband a pat on the back and you to for taking care of those kids cause so many people dont.

Reed

mtwildflower

04-15-2009, 11:47 AM

Dog catchers with soft hearts end up with numerous pets. *They can't bear to let them be destroyed.

My hubby has a soft heart when it comes to our family...but not for other people's dogs who run loose. No worries we will end up with more pets, guaranteed!

Terri

04-16-2009, 04:08 AM

Joe Blow down the street lives in a trailer ,he and his wife both work their butts off, drive junk ,take care of their kids,really *have no money but wouldnt give up their dog or cat for anything......(interesting aint it)......
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Reed
For some of us who are living frugally, our pets ARE the entertainment, instead of going out.

Besides, I would not have the work if I did not love 'em!

cwatson

04-17-2009, 12:51 PM

We aren't poor but we definitely have to be frugal to make ends meet. DH's truck has almost 300,000 miles on it (that is not a typo) and my car has 100,000 miles and needs new tires. We talked about buying another (not new) vehicle for DH but are afraid to spend any money right now. When our front door was so bad that you could feel the winter wind blowing in we saved to buy the door and I installed it with the help of my 70 year old mother. I was not in a very good mood at the end of that day! I have done most of the indoor repairs to our house over the years and DH keeps the out door stuff going as much as possible. Most people on this board now know that I have an autistic son, who I love dearly but we continue to incurr medical bills that will never go away. We have insurance but we have co-pay and deductable. Seems we always have a couple thousand owed to hospitals.

I am proud of how much we do with so little. Maybe we drive older vehicles but they are ours. We now own our land and will someday soon own our home. I continually look for ways to save money and to do more with less. My friends laugh at the way I find ways to reuse things right down to the string on the feed bags, nothing goes to waste.

Now for the animals. We have dogs and our dogs remain on our property. They are fenced but even if the gate is opened they are trained and stay in the fence unless they are called out. We live outside of town and people in town think we are the local animal dump site. As a matter of fact that is how we ended up with 2 of the dogs we have. One was dumped in a trash can and the other left on the side of the road before it would even walk on it's own. Those animals can't help it. We have a problem with cats. And not stray cats but our neighbors cats. Everytime I turn around their cat is in my yard. It lays on my car and leaves it paw prints all over and has scratched the back side of my car when it slides down. You can see where it was trying to get traction. Now if my dogs got out and jumped up on their car they would be having a fit. I finally got mad and bought a paintball gun so that when I caught the cat in the yard I would turn it pink or orange and then when it went home the owners would know it has been where it doesn't belong. A lot of good that has done. The cat has been pink, orange and green and it still comes back. Now the darn thing is pregnant and I just know it is going to have them in our yard probably under our storage shed >:( We have tried talking to our neighbor and they just say "Well it's a cat. What do you want us to do".

pcrowder

04-17-2009, 02:17 PM

cw - see if you can borrow a Havahart trap from someone (in our town, the Animal Control had some you could use on a first-come, first served basis). Then, load the trap up with wet cat food and place it where the cat always comes. Then, when you trap the cat, call your county Animal Control and ask them to please come get the cat, as you are not sure if it has had it's shots, and that it keeps coming over and damaging your property, and is pregnant. When they get there, tell them that you believe the cat is from such and such a house, and then let THEM deal with it.
I feel for you - been there, endured that!

cwatson

04-17-2009, 05:44 PM

pcrowder, excellent suggestion. I don't even know if we have a county animal control but I am sure going to find out.

EarthMama

04-19-2009, 05:23 PM

The dog thing may very well be coming to an end as well. Since my husband got a job with the town, it's looking like he will be the town dog catcher.

Yep....no lie.

On a serious note... domestic and wildlife animals are probably the things that people take their anger out on the most. *Animals and children.... they get the thick end of the stick every time. *

Wildflower, you're giving way too much credit for "deep thinking" to that neighbor's dog. *The only reason he's looking at the window, to see if you're watching, before he goes poo and pee is because he knows it angers you... and he doesn't want to do that, so he wants to do it when you're not looking. *

Blame the jerky dog-owner-neighbor if you have a problem with the dog going on your front lawn. *Personally, I have neighbor dogs in my yard all the time. *I'm more concerned about how the animal is treated at home, rather than if I have to clean up doo-doo off my lawn. *If the animal is treated well (as it sounds your neighbor's dog is), then I'd probably give him a doggie bone after he got done doing his business in my yard. **lol*

Life is just way too complicated to sweat the small stuff, I swear. *But that's just my view. *I know others will be of a different viewpoint. *I just want peace at this stage in my game... nothing more, nothing less. *I pick my battles carefully... and there's less & less of them all the time. *

For the last 3 weeks I've been outside... drinking in the fresh air and occasional sunshine. *I go out there in my sports bra and a pair of blue jean shorts and I work til my bones and muscles simply ache to the core... and it feels good. *I clean up doggie doo-doo (we don't own any dogs), put out fresh food and water for the stray cats who are just looking to survive like the rest of us, and water my birds and squirrels... raccoons and possums and hedgehogs too. *

Peace... that's all I can think of right now. *Peace... and fighting cruelty and inequality to other living things on the planet. *I think having this mindset has really helped me find that peaceful dwelling place inside... and out.

I wish for you the same.

momma_to_seven_chi

04-20-2009, 03:14 AM

DH's truck has almost 300,000 miles on it (that is not a typo) and my car has 100,000 miles and needs new tires. *.........

Now for the animals. *We have dogs and our dogs remain on our property. *They are fenced but even if the gate is opened they are trained and stay in the fence unless they are called out. *

We have three vehicles. My car is an 08 with almost 80000 miles on it. I know that seems high, but hubby uses it for some business travel, so we do put a lot of miles on cars. The old pick-up is a 99 with over 150thousand on it, while the older car is now driven by dear daughter. I think it is 2005, and has well over 150K too. The trucks last quite a while because we just use them around home, rather than for travel. We will probably have to trade one of the vehicles this fall because they all have high mileage, so that will mean more debt.

I would love to have a brand spanking new SUV with all the luxuries, but the gas would be way too high with all the miles we put on them for hubby's business. Of course, I would love to have another 200 acres of land, and another 2000 head of livestock, and an extra income, a yacht, a new log cabin, and this and that....... But we are ok. We have enough to eat, a place to live, a vehicle that moves, and the means to feed ourselves pretty well if income would suddenly stop. You have to just be thankful for what you do have.

I try to keep the animals on our own property. Once in a while we have one escape, but we try not too. We were just chasing a pair of stupid turkeys a mile down the hardroad last week. My daughter finally captured them on the porch of an old farmhouse down the way. She said they were running down the middle of the road like ostriches do. Apparently they had delusions of grandeur.

I don't have any cats. I just don't like the things. They are ok to look at, but as a pet, they aren't my cup of tea. I have some big dogs that keep them off the property pretty well for now. When my rabbit colony is out in their kennel cage in the summer, we sometimes get some sneaky cats trying to climb over the fence, but the dogs usually do their job well to keep them out.

mtwildflower

04-27-2009, 02:46 PM

Blame the jerky dog-owner-neighbor if you have a problem with the dog going on your front lawn.

I despise the owner. But then the nutcase kept running around town telling everyone who would listen that I kept razor blades and knives in the toy boxes for the daycare kids to play with and it didn't endear her any to me either. Am I sorry she now has cancer and is as bald as a cue ball? Not really. But okay, I'll take your advice and breathe....find my center...meditate.....envision the peace I will have when that dog is dead....breathe....

flatwater

04-27-2009, 04:31 PM

I have found it very interesting to see how your original post metamorphed into such a wide range of topics. Venting is a cartharsis to the soul. You go girl. ;D

EarthMama

04-30-2009, 04:07 PM

My wifey has her license from the state of missouri as an animal care facility and she has rehomed over 150 dogs since last jan.You wouldnt believe the calls we get about people who cant afford to feed their dogs and cats and want to know what we can do about it.Luckily walmart will give us the damaged bags of pet food and we hand it out to help while we find a new home if nessasary The only calls I hate is the people that say take the dog now or we will shoot it or you know (my) dog is a pure bred with papers so you need to pay me for it *and it has to go now or we will just turn it loose >:(You can guess what cliff I tell the to jump from!!!But here is the funny part,the people doing this for the most part arent suffering or frugal .They drive new cars ,have nice things and the like.They just arent living at the level they want to so get rid of fido and now we can go out more.Joe Blow down the street lives in a trailer ,he and his wife both work their butts off, drive junk ,take care of their kids,really *have no money but wouldnt give up their dog or cat for anything......(interesting aint it)......
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Reed

God bless you and your wife, Reed, for the work you do on behalf of the animals. We're of the same mindset on our homestead too. I admire folks like you.

As I've always said... and will continue to say probably until the day I die... I like animals more than the majority of people I've met in my lifetime. And the people that I do like are usually "animal folks" like myself.

That says it all for me. That's defines me and is who I am. Those who don't like it, can lump it, I figure. ;D