The new necessities...

[Shamrock1121]

Remember 6th grade civics class when you learned the necessities of life were food, shelter, utilities and clothing? I recently read an article on the "new" necessities. We've shared some of those things in Frugal Living and I'm sure we can make a nice list of these things. If for no other reason, it will alert people who are just joining the frugalites what they can live without, especially when times get tough. In fact, try living without them BEFORE things get tough.

These seem to be some of the NEW necessities ::).

1. Bottled Water

What ever happened to filling a container with water and drinking out of it? If you need purified water, you can use any number of systems and fill a refillable container much cheaper than purchasing single-serving plastic bottles.

2. Weekly manicure/pedicure.

I had a niece send out letters soliciting money to fund her college-level trip to Austrailia for volley-ball. My first thought was if the letter would have started, I've worked 3 part time jobs this past year and am X-number of dollars short, but that just wasn't what "SPECIAL" people do. I'd have happily helped someone who had actually put forth some effort themself. I also knew that she spent more each week on her manicures and pedicures (not to mention hair) than I spent on groceries. She didn't get one red cent out of us. Her priorties and value system were all screwed-up and we wouldn't be enablers. The "princess" had always thought things just appeared because she asked (whined) for them.

3. Children's Parties
The money people have spent on their children's spectacular birthday parties alone would have nearly funded a year of college if it would have been invested instead. The day of a homemade cake and ice cream with a few friends is DEAD!

4. Cell Phones
We went years without a phone when we were first married. It just wasn't in the budget. Even the cell phone we have today is about $100 per year (TracPhone) - NOT $100 per MONTH.

Add yours....

-Karen

[MotherCharlotte]

Karen, your list made me roll my eyes...especially the last two. I only give my kids cake and icecream on their birthdays, and a few gifts, often including homemade ones, and people think I'm depriving them for not throwing a huge party at Chucky Cheese's and spending hundreds of dollars on gifts! As for cell phones, we have never owned one and never will, and we are the only people I know who don't have one. We don't even have voice mail. A basic land line worked fine for everyone in the 80s, why isn't it good enough now? ::)

Some more things I have noticed that seem to be considered the NEW necessities:

5. Pizza delivery
It seems that most people these days are too busy (or too exhausted after a day at the mall) to cook for themselves, and feel it's necessary to sometimes pay large amounts of money to pay someone else to cook for them. My parents have ordered pizza every Saturday for as long as I can remember. If there are guests they may easily plunk down $50 or more for this mediocre pizza. I have tried to tell my mom how easy and good and CHEAP homemade pizza is, but she insists that it's WAY too much work and she doesn't have the energy.

6. Two cars
It seems to be a given for just about everyone these days that a husband and wife each have to have their own car. Yes, this will be convenient, but at what cost? I cringe at the expense of gas, repairs and insurance for only one car!

7. Disposable everything
Most everyone, even frugal thinking folks, feel that disposable paper towels, kleenex, and of course toilet paper really are necessary. Okay, I buy limited quantities of those things too...but I have noticed that these days there is a disposable version of EVERYTHING that is really not necessary: disposable cutting boards, mop heads, carpet sweepers, cloths for wiping counters, training pants for toddlers...etc. People that find cleaning things "icky" quickly adopt these new products and come to see them as an indispensable item.

In reality NO disposable product is really, truly necessary, although most people wouldn't know how to live without them. Even diapers and menstrual pads don't have to come from the drugstore, you can make or buy cloth versions.

[leera]

Great idea Shamrock!

First off,I don't own a cell phone either.Nor do I have cable tv or high speed internet.

1) Sattelite(sp) TV...... ???WHY!? There are dishes popping up like dandelions around here....

2)Not just two cars,but two cars that are either gas guzzlers or they have to be less than 2 years old.......

My car is a 2002,ok,it's a newer car,yes,but it's also got 140K on it........

3)3000 sqt ft homes or larger........again WHY!? How much room do you really need.......come on people......People are getting into these huge monster houses,and then can't afford anything ,and lose it to the bank,so then that 500k home sits,empty,to be vandalized or worse........what a waste.

4) Desinger dogs........once upon a time it was considered unethical to intentionally breed mongrels.......now they're everywhere for sale for $$$.........sorry all you yuppies out there,but if it's a shitz/lasah/pug or a pek/pom/poodle,it's still a mutt.......no matter how much you paid for it.

OK,getting off my soap box now........who's next? ;D

[SolidA]

Well, let's see... I have a cell phone, but it is my son's old phone from about 7 years ago. My father, son and I share a plan (my dad's and my phones together added $10 a month to my son's plan). My husband does have a cell phone, but as a minister he needs to be accessible 24/7 - and no, the church doesn't pay for it :-

I teach in a grade 6-12 school, and I won't even START to list all the things these kids have been brought up to believe are "necessities". (Guitar Hero, anyone??)

[MNMOM]

I know of some people that live around here that hire limousines for their children's party, I think most kids would enjoy a hayride better. ;)

We've never had cable or satellite, there's just way too much crap on tv now without all that and beside's it would keep me away from doing some of the thing's that I love, like sewing. We don't even subscribe to the newspaper, I get all my news from local papers on the internet.

I must say, the internet would be the last thing to go around here, I have reaped so much important information on it and it is my link to the outside world.

Another thing is you see so many parent's that have their children into all kind's of extra curicular thing's. They never sit down to the table for a meal together, so they think that all these fast food places are a necessity. :(

[SpoonBread]

My brother and I recently got into a discussion about the difference between Need vs want.

He says he "needs this brand new sporty car"
I say you need one vehicle that runs reasonably well (he has a paid for truck, motorcycle, and bought a 2yr old sports car)

He says he "needs this new high powered assault type riffle"
I say that there is no problem owning guns, but when you already have several that will do just fine, but utility bills you can't pay, you need to choose your priorities more wisely.

My brother and I will never see eye to eye. He thinks loans and plastic money mean your rich.
I believe if I can't buy it out-right, I must not need it that bad.
I'm not saying that no one ever should take out a car loan or mortgage, but if you can't pay it off quickly and it strains your finances too much, you find another way.

And he doesn't understand why our mother refers to him as my "little brother". ::)
(He is almost 5yrs older than me)

Ok Done ranting.

[SpoonBread]

And speaking about birthdays..

The biggest think that my parents ever did for my birthday was that they took me and some of my cousins Ice skating at a local rink. And no, they didn't rent the whole rink out for just the 10 of us, we had to share it with the other families there. :) And you know what? I never once felt deprived.

I think alot of people are doing their kids a disservice by assuming that their kids will only be happy with bigger and better, more more more. I think many kids would be happy with more sincere and thoughtful (home-made) gift. I know those are the ones I still have to this day and remember the fondest, not the plastic junk that broke, came and went.

[bookwormom]

a different cleaner for every little thing.

3 bucks a cup coffee. A girl i know wants to know how she can have more money, she spends over three dollars every working day on starbucks coffee. That is around 800 dollars a year, for nothing but coffee.

expenisve drinks at every filling station ( son's ex girlfriend used to drive me nuts with this one)

Soft drinks. I take a dim view of sodas, so bad for our health, all that high fructose corn syrup.

[flatwater]

Play stations , X-Box etc.
Going steady at 11 and having sex at 11
rotten attitudes. What ever happened to kids that walked around with a smile on their face ?
They got to have this funny type of respect with out earning it.
And they have to have now what it took me years to get.
OK OK I'm off my soap box now.
Flatwater

[hardrock]

Ooooh, don't get me started!

Cell phones: Electronic babysitters for lazy irresponsible parents.
Cell phones are the "new" whitetrash GPS ;D
Where's yur kid? Dunno, let me check.....beep, click, beep, ring, click....
(What ever happened to the days when a good dose of cough syrup did the parenting for'em??) :o

Allowances:
the police didn't escort me home at all this week, and I'm not pregnant.......where's my $40.00?

$150.00/pr. sneakers:
Traded'em for this way cool fiddy-cent CD......need another pair, Mom.

Designer clothes:
"I will NOT wear anything with that (logo) on it!"

Mandatory dating at 12:
Includes luxury accomodations, extravagant gifts, fine dining, an expense account, wardrobe allotment, and private transportation. Birth control optional.... ::)

And the biggie for me.....

Mom's taxi:
If you live 12 miles from work, 12 miles from the store, and your auto accumulates more than 60,000 mi./yr., two sets of brakes, and/or tires............ya might wanna have someone define the word "necessary!"

Glad I'm single.........


Dang! That felt good...... :D :D ;D

[bookwormom]

quote
I had a niece send out letters soliciting money to fund her college-level trip to Austrailia for volley-ball.


AUSTRALIA???? of all places, Australia, that takes the cake. what happened to going to the next county or the state over? No way.

[bookwormom]

something that totally mystifies me, there is this poor mother the church is going to help, she has several little girls, all with "died long hair" the dye may have been cheap, but if I want food and help from other people I have money to die my kids hair? Aside from that, just the idea of it irritates me, let kids be natural. Same goes for high heel shoes for little girls.

[jen_in_southtexas]

CELL PHONES: there are way too many kids on cell phones these days. Sure cell phones are nice to have but i feel that you dont need to be talking on it at school much less taking it too school.
VIDEO GAMES & MOVIES: I went to a friends house not too long ago and i just about died at their movie collection not to mention that the kids had Playstation 1,2,3,Wii, Rock Band, Guitar Hero and a million games. Its no wonder that they are always broke!
iPODS: Seems that these are popping up everywhere. You dont need to be taking your music to school or wearing headphones while driving or crossing the street. That is dangerous because you may not hear a car honking at you. These things are a waste of money in my opinion.
DESIGNER CLOTHES: I have a cousin whom we've always bunted heads. Growing up she always felt that she had to top your things off with something better than what you had. Now her FIVE kids ONLY wear designer clothes and get their haircuts and nails done almost weekly. Her 14yr old only uses designer expensive purses and wouldnt think of walking into a Walmart to buy clothes or makeup!!! I am so disgusted with that!!!!! That is why at least 3 of them are plain ol' rotten kids.
BOTTLED WATER: I agree with whomever said something about buying bottled water all the time. I usually fill mine up before leaving the house. If i am going to be working outside somewhere I usually fill up this water keg with ice and water and Im good. I refuse to buy a six pack of 16oz water for 5bucks.
FOOD AND COMPANY: What happened to those days when you had family or friends coming over and everyone lend a hand in the kitchen for a big homemade meal. Seems like now people run to BUY chicken, pizza, burgers etc. Dang, to me nothing beats homemade chicken, burgers or hotdogs! Eating out is expensive. I was once young and dumb wondering why i was always broke. Well when i added up my lunch expenses alone it came to about $50-60/week and thats over $200 a month just on eating out!! I started packing a lunch and saved a considerable amount of money.
CABLE TV AND INTERNET: I dont feel cable tv is necessary. I would much rather pay for internet service because that is your ticket to the outside world for news, people,weather, information and saves trips to the library especially when you live far from town. I think internet service is a wonderful thing but not necessary.
BIG HOMES: Dont get me started! What is a 3000 square foot home doing on a 1/2acre or less lot with maybe a 10'x10' front and backyard. Usually you will have either a front yard and no backyard or vice versa. I see this in the "rich" side of town everywhere. Developers have ruined what was once a beautiful piece of scenery by the bay with their ugly subdivisions. Even if i was filthy rich i wouldnt want to live in where everyone else did just for the sake of belonging to a particular subdivision or country club. Get away from me with that!!!

JUNK FOOD: I know someone that buys lots of frozen meals, ready to eat chicken wings, ready to eat lasagna, etc. I have tried to tell her that you will save alot of money if you bought meat in bulk and prepare your own meals. Those ready to eat meals are expen$ive. Then again this is the same person that thinks living way out in the country is "too far from town" and that there are too many snakes and bugs. She wouldnt think of growing her own food. Gawd forbid!!

Off my soapbox for now.
-j

[anna]

Granite counter tops. Master baths and walk in closets the size of a small house. A bathroom for every bedroom plus a "guest" bath.

[stew]

Excellent suggestions. Apart from the common 'obvious', we all also have our own personal requirements to deal with our own situations.
For me,- no debt, some currency, Sterling, Dollars, Pesos - including tradeable silver coins ( Libertad when in Mexico ), tradeable items (including peace offerings for any help offered en-route!), a full tank of petrol, at least, if the roads are clear, we may be able to travel to one of our 'safe houses'. A supply of the drugs I need, at least enough so I can stay normal until I get my family as safe as possible, and can start foraging for more supplies, or the herbal alternatives I use. Something to amuse the little ones - toys, games, treats, and some reading material - for survival - physical, emotional, spiritual.

Peace
Stew

[Cil]

Well, I don't a phone as I can't afford it. But my mom's looking into a family plan cell phone. That $10.00 a month I can afford. With my father's health kind precarious [sp?], I need to reachable real quick. I live in Los Angeles and dad and stepmom live in Ojai, about 1-1/2 hours north, just beyond Ventura.

As for L.A. tap water....NASTY!!!!!!!!!!!!! I usually buy 2 2-1/2 gal. water, usually which ever is on sale for less or close to $5.00 total for the 2.


A couple of years ago, young lady [early teenager] won a spot on some team or something like that to England through homeschooling program. She had a special savings account for the expenses. She had made that beaded type of jewerly and the congregation bought quite alot. She saved for nearly a year. i don't know all that she did, but she earned her trip to England.

[Cil]

I forgot about kids and cell phones. Sometimes it is very important for them to have one as it could mean life or death, literally. Case in point, my brother's youngest, she's Type 1 [shots] diabetic.

[CatherineID]

You're joking but I'm serious. Think of a young adult setting up house for the first time. What will they consider a necessity? ...

~ microwave

~ cellphone

~ stereo system

~ nice car

~ cable or satellite TV

~ heck, just a TV

~ laptop

~ internet connection

~ credit cards

Plus their mom & dad will strongly recommend that the young adult obtain complete insurance (vehicle and renters) and to start a 401k or IRA immediately. This on top of paying off thousands of dollars in student loans.

[walls0stone]

Cell phones, *I could not run my business with out it..and making a living is a 24 7 deal.

*Did you know you can now get a Cell Phone with the ablity to scan products in the store and *the phone will tell you of better prices any place in town or on line. *You can listen to the radio or use web radio via your cell phone.

A lap top can save a ton of money. If your state goes to a 4 day work week, many will work one day from home. Saving gas!

Shop on line and save money!... talk to friends on line and save money... talk to friends in REAL TIME VOICE and save money!
Rather than buying books..read them on line.... saving space, trees and money!

Rather than using paper, do all things on the Computer.
worried about loosing it all, save it with a service that backs it all up off sight.

If a person spent $1,000 for a laptop you could cover all the other things listed on the prior post.

No man is an island and keeping in touch with the world is important. If the world went down hill, what would we do...just knock on the door of that friend with the farm you have'nt talked to in years and say..Hi..can I stay with you?

That said.. yea kids spent to much..college loans. *I worked threw school. Most of my friends had real jobs before college graduation. many now make very good incomes..but we worked and no one was going to go get a degree in somthing useless.

Maybe with all this trouble in the world, people will kick their kids out of the house at an earlyer age like 16.. and make them get jobs... sink or swim.

[crunchycon]

As I travel a bit for work, the cell phone has saved me and DH a bundle in long-distance charges (we share minutes), and my parents, who are also in a different area code, like to stay in touch. So, I view this "necessity" as a money saver for our particular situation.

[flatwater]

Your right on that one crunchycon. I work with DD Adults and believe you me ya don't want to be broke down in the middle of nowwhere with a car load of DD Adults.
Flatwater

[TheUnboundOne]

Dear Forum Members,

Here's a "necessity" that I just can't understand, especially among the younger folks: "Social Networking" pages.

If these things could be plyed somehow to make money or promote a business or a worthy cause, I could see having one and viewing it as a necessity. *But just to post photos and video downloads? *And for calling people "friend" whom you've never even met in your life, will never meet in your life, and probably shouldn't meet in your life? *And to give out information that is really nobody's damned business? *What are these people doing, writing a book?? *And who has time for all of this crap??

??? ??? ???

I know whereof I speak because I am guilty as charged of having a Yuwie page! *

:o *;D

The only reason I got it was to promote writing, eBay auctions, and other ventures I may take up, and hey! *The interface and customer service was more user-friendly than MySpace. *

Turns out, though, that I get my page rated every other day by two people who think my simple little page is "Da Bomb" and I'm oblidged by ettiquette to return their good rating. *

Also, since Yuwie is supposed to be a "social networking" page that is supposed to pay out for "social networking" somewhere down the line, I get occasional spam messages from people wanting me to pass along their page URL to 10 more "friends". *Sheeesh!

::)

If it gets too intrusive, I may have to ditch my Yuwie page, but it is definitely not a necessity, either in the 4-dimensional world or even in Cyberspace.

Well, enough of my Andy Rooney/Dennis Miller rant. *Carry on, and I'll try and think up some new so-called "necessities."
*

[walls0stone]

Thos sights on line make a ton of money!

In Truth, all this formum, web stuff is a megga waste of time. Do we realy think the hot people are on line on sat night? nooo....

and how many billioneers are chatting before bed?

I bet only 2% of the people who use such sights are actualy finding/providing info they could use. *

[StephiLou]

Your right on that one crunchycon. I work with DD Adults and believe you me ya don't want to be broke down in the middle of nowwhere with a car load of DD Adults.
Flatwater


AMEN! My son is only 41/2, but I know where you are coming from. Not that he behaves badly (i don't allow it >:( ) but with all of his medical issues, it is cheaper to have a cell. We have all of our docs and family programmed. We also went in with our family on a package deal. We get to call each other for free, so we hardly ever spend more than the $10 each per month for the basic service.

I agree with those of you who said Cable/satelite TV. While it isn't a NECCESSITY, it sure is nice to have for my son. Since we are quaranteened at home, he starts shutting sown after awhile from Mommy teaching him. His "treat" is to be able to watch Sesame Street or Veggie Tales....something halfway educational. He thinks it is a great deal....like he is getting over on our "no TV" rule, but he is really learning something.

Steph

[cubcadet]

I think that all these things can be a blessing if used wisely. However, as this forum is geared, I think, to living in a way so as to be prepared for most eventualities, Think about how you will get along without some of these things. walls0stone said that no man is an island and to stay in touch with the world. I agree. Just make the most of the technology we have, in order to prepare. Just a little preparation in key areas will go a very long way. In my mind, there will be hard times for many because they miss the big picture and don`t put by, like our forbears did in times past. Nothing wrong in enjoying the life we have now. Just don`t lose sight of the dangers that seem to be looming up.

[walls0stone]

The other thing I am seeing in general be it, people who come from other places, to my neck of the woods... info I've read on sights for small farmers, or whatever they want to be called...the touble is that they still have a corporation mind set.
Mine..make for me... grow for me... have for me.. It's mine.. me me me

This makes sence becose in many cases the new comer has come up with capital to get land some place....and they got that money by being agressive in the markeet place or some other career...for themself

This reminds me of a book a friend had me read... about food production and small farming. The author had given up life at a megga University to farm some place with no plumbing, no drive way..ect. *The book was one rose colored page afte another. *But I put it down when the wrighter said that haying was hard work..but the hay was scratchy.....uh... is that all she could have said? *a day...let alone a summer in a hay mow is HELL! It's 101 in the barn, your working to beat the rain..and you want to DIE!

She (the wrighter) wanted to sell a book....

bringing me to my point.
The way that people with this new movment are living... scares me becouse they don't get the mentality. I've done some soul searching latly..trying to explain to many why it is to be, act and live like we do. The way we have here on this hill of farming families

..but the fact that some do not seem to understand the consepts of sharing, feeding a nation rather than just those at the table... passing a torch to ones own kin..and welcoming all those who come to your fence..(less they be wicked or dissrepsectful)

well, this is the part of the math that I hope people will do, if they truly wish to get back to the land... be *connected to the soil..or whatever.

Or maybe, like seeing a child's birth, if you have'nt done it... you can't quite understand it... I'm still not sure. *

[anna]

My gripe is huge grandiose extragravant expensive weddings followed by honeymoons of the same calibur followed by a divorce because everything went into planning the "event" rather than planning a budget for their marriage. Yet when parents are providing over the top parties for toddlers and hiring limo's for teenage events it seems they are programmed to expect the grandiose in life.

Many things are useful and nice to have but that does not elevate them to necessities. Cable, Dish, Cell phones, Internet, telephone, television, microwaves, etc. are all nice but not necessary. As the economy continues to contract I'm thinking a lot of people are going to have to redefine necessity.

[ryanmercer]

CELL PHONES: *there are way too many kids on cell phones these days. *Sure cell phones are nice to have but i feel that you dont need to be talking on it at school much less taking it too school. *
VIDEO GAMES & MOVIES: *I went to a friends house not too long ago and i just about died at their movie collection not to mention that the kids had Playstation 1,2,3,Wii, Rock Band, Guitar Hero and a million games. *Its no wonder that they are always broke!
iPODS: *Seems that these are popping up everywhere. *You dont need to be taking your music to school or wearing headphones while driving or crossing the street. *That is dangerous because you may not hear a car honking at you. *These things are a waste of money in my opinion.
DESIGNER CLOTHES: *I have a cousin whom we've always bunted heads. *Growing up she always felt that she had to top your things off with something better than what you had. *Now her FIVE kids ONLY wear designer clothes and get their haircuts and nails done almost weekly. *Her 14yr old only uses designer expensive purses and wouldnt think of walking into a Walmart to buy clothes or makeup!!! *I am so disgusted with that!!!!! *That is why at least 3 of them are plain ol' rotten kids.
BOTTLED WATER: *I agree with whomever said something about buying bottled water all the time. *I usually fill mine up before leaving the house. *If i am going to be working outside somewhere I usually fill up this water keg with ice and water and Im good. *I refuse to buy a six pack of 16oz water for 5bucks.
FOOD AND COMPANY: *What happened to those days when you had family or friends coming over and everyone lend a hand in the kitchen for a big homemade meal. *Seems like now people run to BUY chicken, pizza, burgers etc. *Dang, to me nothing beats homemade chicken, burgers or hotdogs! *Eating out is expensive. *I was once young and dumb wondering why i was always broke. *Well when i added up my lunch expenses alone it came to about $50-60/week and thats over $200 a month just on eating out!! *I started packing a lunch and saved a considerable amount of money.
CABLE TV AND INTERNET: *I dont feel cable tv is necessary. *I would much rather pay for internet service because that is your ticket to the outside world for news, people,weather, information and saves trips to the library especially when you live far from town. *I think internet service is a wonderful thing but not necessary.
BIG HOMES: *Dont get me started! *What is a 3000 square foot home doing on a 1/2acre or less lot with maybe a 10'x10' front and backyard. *Usually you will have either a front yard and no backyard or vice versa. *I see this in the "rich" side of town everywhere. *Developers have ruined what was once a beautiful piece of scenery by the bay with their ugly subdivisions. *Even if i was filthy rich i wouldnt want to live in where everyone else did just for the sake of belonging to a particular subdivision or country club. *Get away from me with that!!!

JUNK FOOD: *I know someone that buys lots of frozen meals, ready to eat chicken wings, ready to eat lasagna, etc. *I have tried to tell her that you will save alot of money if you bought meat in bulk and prepare your own meals. *Those ready to eat meals are expen$ive. * Then again this is the same person that thinks living way out in the country is "too far from town" and that there are too many snakes and bugs. *She wouldnt think of growing her own food. *Gawd forbid!!

Off my soapbox for now.
-j


I get great use out of my ipod... we can listen to radios at work... so I leave my right ear open,and my left ear with a headphone and listen to music, books, sermons, podcasts... 40 hours a week.

[ryanmercer]

As for L.A. tap water....NASTY!!!!!!!!!!!!! I usually buy 2 2-1/2 gal. water, usually which ever is on sale for less or close to $5.00 total for the 2.


I'd be broke in a month paying that much for water. I drink 1-1.25 gallons a day.

[jan_in_georgia]

I teach in a Christian High School in a fairly rural area. I am appalled by what I see other families considering "necessitites."

$400-800 for a prom dress to be worn once and given away. That's more than I spent on my wedding!

Middle school proms! Like kids that age don't gender separate at the door--geesh!

Limousines to carry kids to the prom (all the rage at public schools to stop drunk driving--heck our kids aren't supposed to be getting tanked to go to the prom!)

Cell phones for 10 year old kids! Heck, they can't drive, so what could they possibly need that the adult (that should be supervising them) can't provide for them or use their phone (or an actual building phone) to obtain?

Anyway, just my two cents worth.

[jan_in_georgia]

Oh yeah, I forgot to add that the biggest necessity is for a bunch of school staff to raise your kids for you because you couldn't possibly:

chaperone an event
pick up your own child
take your child to a sporting event or field trip that they have agreed to attend
recognize your children's friends by sight
know the names of your children's friends
have any idea where your child might be if his/her cell phone is off or out of range
spend any time at all with your own child >:(

It's so sad when I sit in meetings and wonder if I know the child in question better than the parent does--or worse, when it's possible that I love them more. *But, bearing that in mind, it's not every family or every kid, just seems to be happening more frequently these days.

[bassntrout]

This thread is right on. Starbucks . . . need I say more.

It is really unbelievable these days.

A related post: http://divorceddadfrugaldad.com/2008/09/20/the-new-necessities-of-modern-life.aspx

[TNDadx4]

CELL PHONES: None of our kids have a cell phone. We've considered *maybe* giving our oldest one when he starts driving, but he will pay the monthly fee, if that happens. I recently talked to his (oldest son's) High School School Resource Officer (on-site police) and he said that 90% of kids in the school have cell phones and use text messaging to cheat and distract in class. I've even recently saw an add on the side of a city bus that was promoting free cell phones (with monthly minutes) for people who couldn't afford them. Now, I understand the need for a cell phone here and there, but the majority of people don't NEED one.

VIDEO GAMES & MOVIES: Our kids have a PS1 that was given to them by a family that had gotten a PS2. They have 4 games that were also given to them. I am amazed when they go over a friends house and say that the friend won;t come out to play becasue h's playing video games... what?!?! When I was a kid, I would consider it lucky to have two or more friends show up at the same time.

DESIGNER CLOTHES: Whatever Wal-mart or target have on sale is what we get. I personally prefer thrift stores for clothes buying. Hand me downs are awesome!

TVs: Goodness, one of our kids came home from school and said that a friend had 13 TVs in their house. 13! I couldn't believe it. We have one in the living room and one in a spare room and I think that is too much. I get ill when I hear of parent who have TVs, game systems, DVD players and computers in EACH child's bedroom. Where is the personal interaction? Don't even get me started on government subsidies for digital coverter boxes.

BOTTLED WATER/DRINKS: Use the faucet. We have a filter on it. Have as much as you want. Soda? Nope, make some Kool-Aid.

When I picked our oldest daughter up from school the other day, I hear a girl come running up to her dad saying, "Daddy, could I get me nails done today?" Nails done? Middle school?

OK, off my soapbox :)

[walls0stone]

Funny I should see the starbucks thing,
Recenly we were sent some info at the staion telling us how many chain stores are closing doors rather than opening them. We also saw how many new business people are showing an intrest in growing. I.E the corner store.

I have seen in increase in my small busines ventures that are more connected to little people rather than the larger ones. Star bucks is closing it's doors in a big way, and I have some intrest in a small coffee shop myself. Personaly I think the small shop will do better, not only due to the cost, but at starbucks you get in and you get out..no small town relationships are had.... no face time with the owners who recive the money you just spent.

On some level I think we all know that spending money with the big store, or spending to much is not as ok as it was before.

[walls0stone]

CELL PHONES: ........ I've even recently saw an add on the side of a city bus that was promoting free cell phones (with monthly minutes) for people who couldn't afford them.


a year ago, a homeless man was traped inside a garbage truck when he was inside a dumpster. The homless man got out when he made a call from inside the truck... this story had a sub story.

how did a man with no job, sleeping in the street get a cell phone? who pays the bill? Some churches give them out and foot the money others gt the via the city the are homeless in.

you also spoke of hand me downs ect... well, most of what I put on each day is going to be trashed in 6 months so anything that's half worn out lasts a month or 2..stone is hard on clothing. But we have Woolrich near by...the $150 pants I got at that store for 30 bucks are 6 years old...

I findit funny how if you live in a town with a business like that, all the children of the workers have Woolrich clothing, and the wealthy kids (who's names happen to be rich Wool Rich) are not in that stuff at all. Go out of town and people think your wealthy becouse your in high end clothing.....high end and costly every place but were it's made.

Another friend of mine works in a clothing factory, gets me name brand work gear for nothing...Carhart pants for $3 get the idea???

[TNDadx4]

WallsOstone - That's the ticket. Things and prices really depend on their use and quality. Yes, I have higher ticket items that I bought because of quality. Regarding work clothes, I'm in the computer industry, so my need for quality work clothes would be different than yours. I can find clothes for myself and the kids at thrift stores simply because someone got tired of them or they aren't the latest fashion. They don't need to stand up to the rigors of tough outside work.

In your line of work, I wouldn't see much in the way of hand me downs...maybe an occasional find in the thrift store. Carhart pants for $3? That's awesome! You can't beat that.

I do find some nice Liberty coveralls at our goodwill, though from time to time and they're fine for use around our property.

[walls0stone]

It's also a comfort gig.. for example, I make a pair of *size 11 Double A width, redwing workshoes, worn every single day.... last a year. I need to custom order them due to a narrow foot. *I take care of them like I take care of my self...I Use a boot dryer every day of the year, oil them often, (hand cream with lanilin works great) and I get new, thick worksocks every 6 months. Why? becouse If my feet are not happy, I'm not happy. *I also put on Fresh, kinda pricy, but woth it.... work Socks around noon each day. Just makes me feel better, so I get more from my day.

Buy the fall, pants purchaced in spring are thin as paper, but spring to fall is all I get out of my pants. With all the up and downs of picking stone, you can't even sew on a patch. *But good warm wool pants, or gloves that fit right make working 10 hours far easyer in winter.

tell you something elts on the subject of clothing and cost. when I go to a formal event...mostly I'm refering to church, I do not dress like I'm going to a baseball game. The world is full of perspectives, but I have 3 nice, not expencive...but nice suits, pressed good shirts and ties that look very sharp as well. If I need to go to a funeral, I don't want to be worried if I have a dry cleaned suit.

We have a nice second hand store near by with good prices on very high quality name brands. I get the altered, barter with seamstress.

Clothing effects how I feel inside and out. When I check my reflection or straiten the knot in my tie, I prepare myself to think about the reason I have on those clothes...rather than farm work.

Since many are not used to seeing me in this way, but rather in my dusty duds...it makes a statement about what the event I'm attending means to me.

[anna]

Disposable diapers and baby wipes. Throw away = money thrown away.

Major expensive gifts EXPECTED for weddings, showers, birthdays, holidays. We do not participate. We cannot afford major expensive for ourselves and we will not go into debt in order to not look cheap. I try to buy or make a thoughtful gift that will be used and that I can afford.

[theresehirko]

We don't have cable tv or a house landline. Bob and I both have cell phones, because we both need to be on call at the hospital. Yes our phones cost $100 a month, but with no landline, we've saved money. We also don't get anything but the Sunday paper and the coupons in the paper pay for the paper, so it's essentially free. We have one tv and one stereo and they are cheapies from Walmart. We read books from the library rather than buying them. We do have microwave that came with the house (one of those builtin stove vent kind) and we do it for a timer when we need a second timer for the oven. We share car most days, but we do have second car for when our schedules don't coincide. We live cheaply and don't NEED much. Our kids, well they have much nicer stuff than we do and they live on credit. Obviously they didn't learn by our example.

[zachweiss]

Cell phones are a necessity in my household....hahahahaha

My in-laws have some kind of family cell phone plan that my wife and I are both on.....shoot, we actually called the phone company and had them disconnect our home phone because we RARELY ever used it.

I havent paid a phone bill in 2 1/2 years..hahaha

NOW...if I could convince my wife to let me buy a regular TV antenna so we could ditch the cable- I'd be in business!

[theresehirko]

We have one tv in our house and the only time I watch tv is on sunday night for PBS mystery. If I don't an exam or homework I might watch the NOVA show on Monday. But that's it. Bob cannot live without his tv though. Our bills are pretty much slimmed down since I'm in school. My new necessities are textbooks.

[pilgrim]

PBS mysteries-----YES !! We also watch NOVA, Nature and other quality shows. We also check out movies from our main library.

We've found no need for cell phones. The only places we could use them they don't work.We go out in the west desert digging for geodes and digging in the mountains for semi-precious stones that we can slice, cut, polish and turn into jewelry (hobby--may turn into home business). We sure could use satellite phone when we're out in the wilderness but we don't have any spare gold ingots lying around.

It's amazing what we can do without if we don't know we're being deprived. I remember as a child in Montana getting a 100 lb. sack of week old bread for $1.25 and getting fresh milk from a local farmer.

It was only in college (Iworked to pay for it.) that I realized that I had grown up in poverty. The only toys we had were what we made, but with them and our imaginations we managed to not get bored.

Actually, I believe that todays kids are having their imaginations stunted by having everything handed to them.