Was I greedy with our produce or not?

[MarechalNiel]

Husband says no, and I feel in my heart I was not, but I still have a pang of conscience about it...

Earlier today I had been in the garden and picked several zucchini, a few ears of late sweet corn, and some bell peppers and had them in one basket and had walked to out to our driveway to pick fruit from along our drive, where I had planted several kinds of fruit trees several years ago. Our driveway is off of a small lane, no really a 'public' road as such, but rather a dirt lane where two vehicles can barely pass eachother, intended for use of the residents here and not as a 'thru traffic' venue. I was well into the plum bushes when a new looking vehicle pulls into our drive and the man leans out and shouts can they come pick some of our fruit? I was a bit taken aback by this question, but I replied they could have some, but not a lot as we grew this food for our family's consumption and to preserve for the rest of the year and we did not have a great deal of it to spare. The became offended, and the woman snapped 'let's go, we don't need any of their fruit'. Well, judging by what they were driving, I would agree that they didn't 'need' any of our fruit, but my conscience still bothered me a bit. I felt I had been stingy. Husband said that I had politely said they could have some, but not a lot, which was an acceptable reply. And considering that we do indeed use all our own produce for ourselves as well as our aging parents (who can no longer garden) I was not being stingy. My husband believes that a man should provide for his own, and any man who does not is remiss in his duty. It is likely that these people were just 'tourists' of some sort, or locals who decided to go to 'the country' for the day and enjoy it's scenic, bucolic benefits. Regardless, it was just very odd.

[wvpeach1963]

Unfortunately in this day and age, you should not even let them out of the car.

Had they fallen on the property and sued you at the very least you would loose your insurance even if you won the lawsuit.

Times are bad , people are crooked, I would have a hard time turning anyone hungry away, but city people are on thier own.

And us country folks know city folks when we see them.

I would have put them on the move immediately, so you were way nicer than I would have been.

[CarrieInWI]

Wow, I think THEY were the greedy ones! YOU actually were going to share with strangers, and THEY got snotty about it? I just dont know WHAT is wrong with some people.....

[outsideman1]

i wouldnt give it a second thought. you offered , so in my eyes you went above and beyond what most people would do

[JBinKC]

Why buy a cow when the milk is free?


If you were so generous eventually you might have the whole neighborhood wanting your produce. I think you did the right thing.

[new-attitude]

You were WAY more polite than I would have been!
My response probably would have contained more than a few 4 letter words as I told them to get the blank off my blanking property before I got the shotgun and filled their blanking blanks full of buckshot...and that would just be the start!

[leera]

I am sorry,but if it were me in that situation,I would have firmly said NO.

You had no idea who those people were.

For someone to come up to you like that,and then get an attitude when you offered just a little...............you don't need people like that to come back around that's for sure............


Better to tell them NO,now,than to have them keep coming back,which a lot of people would do now a days............they'll take and take until it runs out,and you have nothing left to show for your own efforts.........

Don't give it a second thought........you were more generous than I would have been....... :)

[lewis56us]

City people are a whole 'nuther breed of people.. >:(
I their minds, you giving them permission once would have meant that it was ok to come pick your fruit any time they wanted from then on and take the best and as much as they want and possibly damage your trees or property through their ignorance whether you were even around or not.
Sorry, I tend to rant when I get started on city people...

[Terri]

Well, let's see now.

To lean out of the car and yell is not particularly polite, but not terrible.

To ask to pick fruit is a little pushy, but excusable.

To grouch when you said "Yes, some" was VERY rude!

You were trying very hard to be polite with folks who were first pushy, then downright rude. You did OK. They didn't.

Some city folk think that a farm is like a grocery store. You pick what you want as you want it, and go back for more when you want *more. It likely never occured to them that you were going to preserve it: They just saw that you had more than you could eat fresh!

But, they were still pushy, and then rude!

OH!

Perhaps that little pang that you feel is because women tend to be peacemakers, and what you said annoyed them?

That couldn't be helped, though! The posters above had some VERY good points! Sometimes a person just NEEDS to speak out, it is their JOB, even if they don't want it to be!

IF you WANT to share your produce, perhaps the homeless shelter would like it? Many take no produce, but some do! And, it would be a far better deed to share with the hungry, than with the merely pushy!

[doubleeagle]

One year, we planted WAY more okra than we could use, so we began calling around to see if others wanted any. I was used to the "If it is picked, I'll take some." One lady took the prize though. She said, "Yes, I would like some. It is sliced isn't it?"

Steve

[Mysticdream44]

I wouldn't worry about it, they asked you said they could have some but not all, they got offended, and they were wrong for being offended, period.

Now I admit when I lived in town that if I saw apple, fig or peach trees, that it didn't appear that anyone was picking then I'd stop, go to the door and ask politely if I could pick some, if they said yes, that was great and I'd pick as much as they said I could have, most of the time I'd offer to pay, but they would say no, that they were just happy someone wanted it and it didn't go to waste, if they said no, then I thanked them politely and went on my way. I've never stopped in someone's drive way and shouted asking if I could pick their fruit/vegetables. That was rude, but you did offer to share some. I think you were very polite and you should not feel guilty. If they didn't like what you offered, then thats THEIR problem, not yours.

[MarechalNiel]

Thanks to everyone who has replied. I did not even think about the possibility of someone being up to no good when they come into our lane. I have heard of people being robbed and assaulted by strangers from outside the area, I suppose anything is possible.

To be honest, I did think it rude of these people to simply expect me to give them what they want. After all, the worker must be worthy of his bread, and these people had not worked for my 'bread'. They simply drove up and thought I would help them. And no, I would never turn away someone I believed really needed it, because that would truly be greedy.

Seems like there are more and more of the weekend tourists these days, driving the back roads in search of some sort of authentic 'country' experience. What that experience gives them, I can't guess.

[traderran]

I believe you did the right thing.

[MYellowRose]

They may have been out looking for a "you pick" farm and saw you first. Why pick and pay if they could possibly get something for free instead.
Whenever I'm out during the day, away from home that is, I always count to make sure I've still got the three tomatoes on my plant when I come home. Not expecting anyone to actually take one until they are ripe but you never know what may happen. I'm just in hopes no one will want them since they're small.

[Lupine_II]

That's right up there with people walking into my garden and picking flowers. Sometimes while I'm sitting on the porch, even."Nice lavender!" they say, as they proceed to pick a bunch without asking.

One year, I walked into the corner market on my way home from an appointment. At the counter, the clerk gave me a bouquet of tulips. I was startled--why was he giving me flowers?

Before I could respond, he said, "These belong to you." Apparently, some guy had walked in 30 minutes earlier with the tulips, asking for some napkins he could dampen and wrap around the stems. The clerk, who happens to live down the street from me, recognized them as being from my garden (and I didn't get it until he told me!) and after offering to wrap them for the guy, he took the tulips and told the guy to get the hell out of his store!

Sure enough, when I got home, my tulips had been decimated.

The ( )*( ) had stomped on the flower beds, and left a few cut tulips behind to wilt.

I feel sorry for the chick he'd intended to give them to.

Nope, you weren't rude. If they'd intended to pay you, they'd have worded their request differently, I'm sure. And in any case, you don't want strangers picking off your property, unless you're insured and "pay and pick" is a big part of you income.

[grandmajoy]

Don't worry about it, you we're certinaly not rude. IMO you we're very polite. My house is on the edge of a field and I wouldn't think about taking anything from it without asking first, and I know the farmer! And I don't think I would even ask anyway, its his land, work, money and time, he puts in that field. When I get moved up there I may ask if I can run goats AFTER he has harvested or pick up the potatoes that fall off the combine, but that would be the extent of it. How presumtious of people to act like that! People who act like that have no class whatsoever.

joy

[nancy1340]

Don't worry about it, you we're certinaly not rude. IMO you we're very polite. My house is on the edge of a field and I wouldn't think about taking anything from it without asking first, and I know the farmer! And I don't think I would even ask anyway, its his land, work, money and time, he puts in that field. *When I get moved up there I may ask if I can run goats AFTER he has harvested or pick up the potatoes that fall off the combine, but that would be the extent of it. How presumtious of people to act like that! People who act like that have no class whatsoever.

joy *

This reminds me of a lady I worked with in 1980 in Denver. She and her husband were teachers and in the summer they'd take off in their RV. They would go to Idaho and glean potatoe fields (with permission) then head to The Valley in Texas to glean fields there of different veggies (again with permission) and can or dry them to store under their bed in the RV. Apparently this is quite common. The bible speaks of land owners being told to leave food in their fields for the poor to glean.

If someone stopped to ask to pick 'some' fruit because they were needy I'd say go ahead. But in this day and time I think you have to be very careful about who you let out of their car on your property.

[MarechalNiel]

I have given away fruit and vegetables in the past, as well as well-rooted plants I have started from the parent plants to folks who seemed to need it, with the idea of 'teaching someone to fish' as opposed to simply 'giving someone a fish', as the parable goes. I figured if someone really wanted a plant of whatever fruit tree I had, they could plant it and tend it and someday get fruit of their own from it.

As regards someone picking my vegetables or flowers when I was away or sitting nearby, husband says 'fences make good neighbors', and I agree. I keep all my roses and flowers well away from the fenceline to keep people from picking. Just that one apple tree too near the fence that the neighbor keeps picked clean every year on one side, LOL!

[StephiLou]

I had something similar happen with my neighbor today! I really like this guy, in small doses. :P Earlier in the year when we were putting in the garden, He made a comment about how much he likes salsa, etc. I told him that he bought the plants, I would put them in, and take care of them all year. Never heard from him again.

Today, he calls me out of the blue and asks if he runs his garden hose over here and helps to water the garden, can he have HALF of my corn and tomatoes!!!! Now, I don't have a lot of time to get out there, but I have worked my butt of in this garden this summer to make sure that we have what we need. I told him that and reminded him of what I had said earlier in the year. I also said that next year, he had better get his rear in gear if he likes that stuff so much. Then I reminded him that we got permission from DS doctor to juice whatever we can get out of the garden, and put it through his feeding tube, to start getting him used to "real food" not formula. I also reminded him that he and his kids could go get a job and buy the stuff from the farmers market.

Think he figured out he crossed the line? :o

Steph

[nancy1340]

Steph, What in the world would make someone think that if they watered a few plants that would equal half of all the back breaking work you did to grow your garden? ::)

I bet you got a good laugh out of that when you picked your jaw off the ground. ;)

[StephiLou]

I might save up any rotten or wormy ones and plant them right in the middle of the hood of his firebird. ::)

He's so dingy, though, he would probably take em in the house and eat em anyway! LOL!

Steph

[JAK]

I think you all went through way to much trouble.
Most people would just sss, then get back to work.

p.s. Car might be a lot of digging though. *;)

[Mitzi]

By vwpeach:
I would have a hard time turning anyone hungry away, but city people are on thier own.

And us country folks know city folks when we see them.

By Lewis56:
City people are a whole 'nuther breed of people..
I their minds, you giving them permission once would have meant that it was ok to come pick your fruit any time they wanted from then on and take the best and as much as they want and possibly damage your trees or property through their ignorance whether you were even around or not.
Sorry, I tend to rant when I get started on city people...

By Terri: Some city folk think that a farm is like a grocery store.

I live in the city so I would imagine you would consider me "city folk." Am I to assume from your remarks you would automatically consider me rude, ignorant and 'nuther breed? And you would know I was "city folk" when you see me? I agree that the people were rude to MarechalNiel but to lump all people who live in the city with the terms you have used is in itself rude. I have never stopped anywhere and asked anyone for fruit, vegetables, flowers or anything else. Do you think the only participants of this forum own 30 acres 50 miles west of Nashville? I glean a wealth of information here (making soap, leaning things about various animals, etc.) and feel I have every right to participate here - whether or not I am from the city.

Back to the post: You were more than kind MarechalNiel. I agree that it was probably not safe for you to have even offerred. Rude and crazy behavior can be found everywhere - city and country.

[SubVetChief]

Mitzi....Most country folks have a disdain for city folks simply because most of the contacts are with those(from the city) who are anything but honest and honorable.

We have had city folks stop and feed stuff to our horses (at their roadside pasture) that caused our horses to founder and become really sick. Housecalls for Vets will tear your monthly budget all to heck and gone I'll tell you. :o I won't even mention the number of times we have caught city folks raiding our garden or stealing the wife's flowers.

Just my nickels worth in response to your post. No offense intended. ;D ;D

[Mitzi]

SubVetChief,
Maybe signs should be posted about owner being armed and dangerous. Or I would keep dogs that protect in with the horses. I find that so dispicable that someone would actually stop and go out of their way to harm an animal. What hateful people! And to steal from your gardens? Unbelievable!
I was actually raised in a small town - out of town actually, in the country. My dad had several acres and always had fruit trees and gardens - no animals though. Never, ever had a problem with anyone coming onto the property (well, except for my little friends - and we would raid the cantelopes!).
I guess I took these posts a little personal. I'm not a hoity toity city folk. I just hate for everyone to stick a group of other folks into boxes they have labeled.
Honest, I would never do more to anyone horse other than to maybe pat it's silky nose if it stuck it's head towards me.

[txanne63]

Hey Mitizi----We know you are a [[ different ]] kind of city gal!!!!!!! ;D

I know your heart is backwoods.
And you have your little container garden.

And have a heart to live backwoods living---garden goats chickens and rabbits!!! ;D

Most of us country folks have had poachers---game and fish---I had 2 hunters sneak over my fence durning deer season----dog alerted mr and I put them back over the fence---in a running leap-----Mossburg and I were funny that way! ::)

Mare----you are such a gentle soul----But you did the right thing----

Weekend warriors are here to stay---

annie

[MarechalNiel]

I try not to judge based on appearance, after all, it's not very fair. I suppose I do judge on behavior and things that people say, and on their actions. By their fruits shall ye know them...

I know folks who live in town and even a couple in the full-fledged city who have very self sufficient attitudes. Pantries and shopping habits any country folk would envy. And besides, not everyone really wants to live way out of town for all sorts of reasons. But then we hear about 'outsiders' doing all sorts of damage to property and livestock, it's such a pity.

It was just the behavior of the people who stopped by our home that got me thinking. And so far, no one has been back. ;)

[Mitzi]

Annie,
You have me figured out, young lady! In fact, husband & I going to So.Oregon this fall to try and find some acres. Very close to retirement and want to go somewhere peaceful. Deer, rabbits, bobcats, cougars (? cougars?) :o

[txanne63]

Annie,
You have me figured out, young lady! *In fact, husband & I going to So.Oregon this fall to try and find some acres. *Very close to retirement and want to go somewhere peaceful. Deer, rabbits, bobcats, cougars (? cougars?) :o


LOL---cougars---what are you thinking ?? ;D

So. Oregan sounds so very nice---I dont know exactly what part is the prettiest---

I wish Much Luck----Have a great adventure.

annie

[opsrto]

MITZI
I wish I would have met you last year. I just sold 29 acres in Christmas Valley

[opsrto]

MITZI
I wish I would have met you last year. I just sold 29 acres in Christmas Valley. Besides , if you are from Oregon you aren’t from the City unless you live around 82nd and Clackamas.

[Terri]

Mitzi, I grew up in San Jose, California. I did not intend to offend.

What I was trying to say, was, those folks likely did not realize that much of the fruit was not going to be thrown out. They did not realize that they were asking for something of value.

Most city dwellers plan their meals by the day, by the week, or by the month. ALL of the ones that I have known have done so, with the exception of a FEW Mormons.

[Mysticdream44]

Well I admit that when I live in the suburbs :-/ of Atlanta there was a horse boarding farm that was on the road I took to the grocery store. I'd buy a 1lb bag of carrots an my kids who were about 4 & 5 at the time and I would stop on the way home and feed the horses those carrots. I never thought about it being wrong :(, it was just a treat for the kids to feed the horses. Maybe I was doing wrong and just never thought about it that way.

[maggie10]

No. I don't think you were a bit greedy with your produce.

I had a situation about ten years ago where I had an overabundance of hot peppers. I'd canned more than enough to last us several years and my husband and I both offered them to anyone who was willing to come pick them.

Well, it turned out that we both had found someone wanting the peppers at the same time and when my former sister-in-law showed up to pick the peppers I explained that I was unaware that she wanted them and that my aunt was coming to get some too. I told her that she was welcome to half of the peppers and I continued working elsewhere in the garden and left her to pick the peppers.

Well, I should have been alerted when I saw her carry a large box full of peppers back to her car and wave goodbye. As I recall I had about 16 plants and all she left on the plants were tiny peppers about 2" long. So when my aunt showed up I had to tell her what happened and kick myself for not watching over her.

When I ranted to my husband, he said I should just forget about it.

On the other hand I worked for some ladies who had a nursery and grew more than they could eat. One lady I worked with had several children and lived nearby and was told to help herself to the garden. So one day she sent two of her children up to get some tomatoes and the next day was reprimanded for taking too many tomatoes. The children always talked to me when they came and took no more than six tomatoes that particular day.

Theses ladies had over 50 tomato plants and made no effort to preserve them. So what they didn't eat fresh from the garden simply rotted. This happened with all the vegetables they grew--what they didn't use rotted.

If I have more than I can handle, I'd rather give it away than let it ruin.

maggie

[HillbillyPaPa]

I live out in the country sortof, and there are quite a few (if not a lot) of people around here that would as the saying goes (steal the pennies off of a dead mans eyes), if ya know what I mean?
Mind you that not all are that way, but some absolutely have no boundaries when it comes to being a thief!
They will walk around on your property at night- to steal your gas out of your automobiles, tractors, etc. They will load your chains and binders and your come-alongs up in a flash.
I don't mind sharing with someone which would like to have a little of my stuff from the garden, but a Lot from my Garden= or just free course to Roam it all over, and them strangers= I don't think so!
I know most cityfolk don't understand, and will take that into consideration anyhow. And by the way=- A stranger is a (stranger) no matter where they/he/she is from!
+++++++++++ Reminds me of the time I was lost in Florida once, and it in a subburb of a medium size town called Saint Augustine. ++++++
I was supposed to visit a church which was located somewhere near that community, and became disoriented to where and how to get there= (I was Lost).
Once I realized I was going the wrong way, I tried to turn my vehicle in someones driveway= (cause I was in a Residential Area) and I didn't see anywhere to turn any better.
I thought - I will just whip in here and back right back out= and back down the road I will go= before I get Lost in a worse kind of way!
These cubans- came running out waving at me==== Cursing and had clubs and stuff= and were acting like I was killing them= just turning in their driveway!
I thought (and me being from the Country) My God- What's wrong with those Idiots! ??? ::)
I was told later by the pastor of the church I was visiting= You just don't do that around here- (turn in peoples driveways and stuff like that- when you're lost) They - (cityfolk there) =-- take it real personal about their Property and stuff!
I said---- No Kiddin? ::)

[MarechalNiel]

Kind of off topic, but reminds me of an episode a few years ago.... someone was sneaking onto our property in the night to steal fuel from husband's Freightliner, that he uses for our farm. It is always parked away from the house a ways, by one of the barns. He wanted to get locking fuel caps for them but had trouble finding them for a few days. In the meantime, he smeared the fuel caps round with some scotch bonnet peppers I had grown, and it really worked to keep the theives out of the fuel until he could get locking caps. At least I think it worked. :o

[ozarkinit]

I wouldve given them some fruit, splatered across their back window.

[blackpowderbill]

No you were not being selfish..it is your fruit!
I have on occassion stopped and asked about veggies and fruit always offering to pay never asking for free.

[sage_morgan]

I live out in the country sortof, and there are quite a few (if not a lot) of people around here that would as the saying goes steal the pennies off of a dead mans eyes, if ya know what I mean? ...

I'm a city girl transplanted to a small town (I'll always be a "new" person here) and hope to find a place outside of the small town, too.

It's not really about "city" people per se, or country people. There are cheating, lying, stealing idiots in every stratus of life.

One country boy borrowed a tiller from a friend and later showed it to someone as his "new tiller." (bleep) So she went out and got it back after he promised to return it after he used it.

I've met wonderful, real, honest people in our nation's over-populated capital (so glad to get out of there), and real works of nature in my backyard, too.

Out here in the middle, the same exact thing. There are just fewer of both kinds of folks, and the impact is usually less.

To go to a different level than a thief, though, the most evil people I've *ever* had to deal with were right next door to me in a small town. So go figure.

I think each and every time I classify city folks as worse than country folks, or whatever, I'm stereotyping and misjudjing someone. *steps off soapbox*

[jesset]

You were very kind to offer hospitality, after an unwanted intrusion, only to have it rejected; some people aren't happy unless they have it all and even then I suspect it isn't enough. I'm sure your good nature is welcomed by family and friends, I wouldn't let the rudeness of strangers make you doubt yourself or your intentions.


Jesse ;)

[docjered]

Ignorant, pushy people come from all walks of life, all income levels, and live in the cities, burbs, and country. You cannot teach people grace and manners, no matter how many times you watch "My Fair Lady".

I am always taken aback by people who are like this. I usually bring my lunch to work and am amazed at how many people want me to share. No, they expect me to share and are offended when I say no, but not so offended that they dont ask tomorrow.

If your trespassers had any sense whatsoever, they would have gotten out of the vehicle, attempted to be friendly, and asked if you sell any of your fruit. If the answer was no, they could have asked if you knew of somebody nearby who did. From what I know of you through your postings, you would probably have offered them a sample; particularly if they complemented your crop. ;D

[independent]

I would say defiantly not.

[Ernie]

Sorry to revive a dead thread, but I felt I had to respond. :)

My neighbor grows the most amazing peppers. She's from India and must have some sort of special talent for it. Some of her peppers are so hot my eyes water just from walking too close to the fence.

Frankly, I love her pepper plants. I watched them all last summer. I thought happy pepper thoughts about them every day. I am ashamed to admit it, but I lusted over her peppers. Around mid-September it seemed as if the majority of them were ripening and I asked her if she'd mind if I had a few of the more peculiar ones, just to see if I liked them (and I secretly desired to use their seeds to propagate my own the following year).

Unfortunately, cultural and language barriers interfered, or perhaps she just was a bit freaked out by me considering we'd never actually spoken before. I offered to trade some of my own vegetables, wanting to introduce her to some stuff that maybe she hadn't had before. I thought it would be a good cultural exchange.

End result: no peppers for Ernie and now I have a neighbor who retreats back inside her house every time I come out on the back porch. It's been half a year and I haven't been able to make amends for my sloppy overtures on her peppers.

[Kevin]

No!!!! you were not greedy to want to keep the true fruits of your labor. ;)

I think you should have said they are organic $3.00 each. ;D ;D ;D ;D.

Kevin