Issue at work...need advice.

[jen_in_southtexas]

I am having an issue at work that is getting bigger. The boss's nephew(by marriage) came to work for us...i know i know. He has absolutely no experience in my field and he is acting like a superviser. Telling me to get this and that for him....to do this and that. He expects me to follow him around like im his helper, is never prepared for the job, never carries any tools with him even though i told him he needed to just like i did. But his thinking was "why should i have to carry mine if you have yours?" That is exactly what he said. He thinks that his way is right all the time and if its not he gets pissy about it. Or if i know he is wrong and i tell him otherwise he gets cocky. Always walks way up ahead of me and doesnt bother with heavy things. When i point something out he tells supervisers and he gets the credit for noticing and knowing about it when he didnt know crap about it till i said something. Today he gave me an ultimatum about car pulling. Our boss will pay us so much to use our personal vehicles which we rotate every other week. Today he said "i either drive all month all the time or im not driving my truck at all." Hell, i could use the money too. I told him it was only fair that car pulling would be split and split the money. He is money hungry, has another part time job and his wifes additional income. I have only my own. So this money would help. He is so dead centered that he will change my mind. All this is getting old real quick but he takes offense to everything i say. They say blood is thicker than water but enough is enough. I know if i tell him that we need to talk about some issues he will get cocky. If i go to the boss the nephew will say why didnt i talk to him first.

What shall i do? This is very distressing.

[cinok]

Is the nephew your supervisor or just acting like one. Don't assume blood is thicker then water you don't know what his opinion is on the nephew. If you have been with the company for a while and you are valued employee the boss might take your side I would ease into a conversation with your boss. Do you think this has anything to do with your sex, if you do (sounds like it is to me) you might use that to your advantage
by asking your boss in a joking matter if his nehew treats all women like crap.

[docsoos]

Sorry to hear about your situation, jen.

First off, relax. Don't let this idiot rattle you. I suspect that's exactly what he is trying to accomplish.

Second, speak with your supervisor as soon as possible about the conflict, rude behavior, not carrying his end of the workload, etc, before it blows up, or he has a chance to talk to the boss behind your back, and feed him full of lies about you.

If you have a good work record, his "new employee" complaints should not hold much water, even if he is distantly related to your boss. Most companies have very clear rules regarding supervision of family members, due to problems that can and do occur, and the most common complaint is favoritism, real or perceived.

If your boss doesn't give you satisfaction, there's always HIS boss, but going over the chain-of-command should DEFINTELY be your last resort.

I have personally been in your situation in the distant past, but eventually, MY idiot's true colors were exposed when he had to "fly solo" one day, and couldn't cut the mustard. He was terminated a week later. So sad. ;D

Ignore him, speak to the boss, and above all, just keep doing what you've been doing all along. We all need a job, but we all don't need to be abused or harrassed at it by some newbie that thinks he invented oxygen, even though he sounds as though he's wasting his share. ;)

Best of luck,

DocSoos

[RangerRick]

Hi Jen,

If at all possible play "all" your cards close to your chest. Don't give anything away like ideas, credit, help, nothing. Sounds like this creep is a user plain and simple. They want what helps them and will do you harm if he sees his advantage in it. Don't play his game, don't give him anything, protect yourself. Talk to your boss and tell him what's happening and that for a more productive workflow you two should be reassigned. If you don't get results go have a talk with your HR rep.

Rick

[cinok]

If all else fails your could drop your tool bag by "accident " :D :D :Don his head or a heavy tooll when you were handing him one of yours

[walls0stone]

ah, I love this sort of work.. kid right?

give him a nickname.. Spoons..why, you got a silverspoon in your mouth. *i have the same situation..wife's works for a massive company... christian company in town. they treat the workes like crap. On my way home from work last night..after 16 hours of labor..I stop in for a beer.....my first beer in 6 months right. Who's sitting in the back of the pub, but the owners son..prince on the thrown...Johney do no wrong. *remineds me of AJ Soprano in the last season. *he's surounded by girls, 19 year old college chics right..

so I sit right down and busted his nutts. sat right down with him and all those chics.....

"Hey how are ya.. oh let me buy you a drink JR..I don't know if your daddy gave you enough allowence..tis week"

then I told the girls that JR still lives with his mommy and daddy..... HA we are both 30 Y/O. well the idea of going back to his mommy's house turned them off. HA HA.. Then I asked if he had worked this week...he said he'd been to the office every day... I said.. I know you go there but did you work? *jab jab.

yea, give that little punk a nickname like spoons or bus his nutts in public in a friendly way... that will fix his boat.

[cinok]

Damn Wall I'm sure he won't be back there for a while

[jen_in_southtexas]

Cinok,
He is just a regular employee like everyone else. It would be dumb if they put him out there as my supervisor or something to that effect when he has NEVER had any experience in my field and cannot trouble shoot or answer any related questions.

Our boss is also the owner there is no in between...no middle man no HR. It is a small company. I was quiet comfortable until he came along. I really cant see my boss siding with him because my boss is a great guy. I see him wanting to be fair about things. Sometimes i feel that some of the things this jerk tells me are things my boss knows nothing about. Like the ultimatum about the car pulling among other little things here and there. Ive thought also as someone mentioned here that if it could maybe be because of my sex. Even if it was he knows better not to mention it because of the legalities that go along with it. Im pretty comfortable in my field and i dont think that that sits well with him... that i know more about it than he does.

You all gave some great advice. I just got off the phone with a friend of mine and he said to just give him enough rope and eventually he will hang himself with it.

Rick, you are so right on about playing my cards close to my chest. My friend said something right along those lines as well.

Tomorrow will be another distressing day. I hate living and working like this. I agree that i need to talk to my boss. This jerk could be talking behind my back already so that again he looks good >:(. I have to remain calm and keep my composure. As someone here mentioned, dont let him rattle my chain. I have to remember that.

-j
:-[

[RangerRick]

Attitude is the key. I'd suggest that you take the attitude that this guy is on his ignorant way out the door and you will be right there beside him holding the door every step on the way. So have a nice day, and ... take care of business!

;D

Rick

[maineyankee]

I eould suggest you start' documenting' all of this.

Every day, when you finish work, write down the events of the day.

When you're ready to talk to the boss, make a set of notes or "talking points" to take to the meeting.

And speaking of the meeting, Make an appointment in advance to sit down with the boss. This may sound dumb or silly; But will make the meeting more formal and help convey your concern about the subject to be discussed. Carry your notes to the meeting with you in a folder. (make copies at kinko's before you go and leave the copies at home). Don't be afraid to make notes at the meeting. What is being 'unsaid' by this "this is serious and could be more serious if not addressed here in this meeting.

Make it a point to tell the boss how much you like working for him. But be verry clear that you feel very 'uncomfortable' about the currant situation. Let the boss know you frustrated with your 'work enviroment' as it is now.

I know this can be very hard for most people, but you have to stand up. The nephew is just a different form of bully; and they only understand one thing - power. With the boss on your side, you have more power than he.

If you follow the rules of bussiness(notes,formal meetings, etc.) you can go to state agencies with this form of 'harrasment and hostile work enviroment'. Let the boss deal with them.

[Dobelo17]

Hi Jen,

Sorry to hear that your new partner is such a jerk.
I think it sounds like he doesn't like women to much.
Keep doing a good job and let him screw himself out of
a job. I would not give him any help either with pointing
out things that he is taking credit for. I agree with maineyankee about speaking to your boss. You should not have to be miserable becaue this guy is a butt head. >:( :-[ Take care.
Becky

[AlchemyAcres]

I don't tolerate any of this type of crap!
Go straight to the boss and ask what role his little nephew is supposed to play. There's no reason to play silly games.
Stand your ground!
If the nephew is out of bounds, let the boss man know!!!!
I've put up with too much of this crap in the past.....don't beat around the bush....make sure roles are clearly defined, and if he's acting outside his role..let the boss know!!!!!!
When things are clearly defined it's obvious who is right or wrong!
I don't tolerate anyones sh*t anymore!!!!!!!!! No YES man here! LOL


~Martin

[walls0stone]

AA, I agree, but one must admit that plenty of people get a free ride like that becouse life is not fair. sometimes the boss just wants to give the washout a check.

So that guy I busted on, went home to his folks to wimp about what I did to him... then he posts some odd things on line about a group of wich I am a member, knowing I'd read it. I didn't get mad, I simply pased on the info, on line. As was said before, with enough rope he hung himself...possibly doing more dammage to his parents business on his own than I could do to him myself.

[TheUnboundOne]

Dear Jen,

As long as you are there, Martin has the right idea.

But if all else fails and nepotism and corruption are just too deep in that firm, I would keep contacts with the outside world and keep your resume and/or curriculum vitae updated and ready to submit to a better firm. Better yet, if you can, start a business or consultancy of your own.

Any place of business that values kinship over ability and profit doesn't deserve a quality worker.

Instead, that place of business deserves to go (and eventually will go) swirling down the toilet, right there with FannieMae, FreddieMac, IndieMac, BearStearns, Shearson-Leaman, Wachovia, and all the other government-corporate pieces of offal.

[sage_morgan]

About the documenting, just sit down and start by telling the whole story in a word (or whatever) document, even though you may not remember each date, give all the incidences you can recall.

Then, keep track every day he ticks you off. This has the extra advantage of not allowing you to think you just over-reacted. You have it right there on paper, and you can turn it over to the boss if needed. ... not the originals, of course.

I personally have to put it in a rant, then I do a dispassionate recording of it.

Stick to your guns! 8) 8) 8) 8)

[EarthMama]

Jen, I think the first thing you should probably do is try to figure out where this nephew stands with his uncle, the boss.

If the uncle is willing to tolerate this kind of behavior from the nephew, there's not a whole lot you're going to be able to do about it. If the uncle is not willing to tolerate this kind of behavior, then you'll have a sympathetic ear when you voice your complaints. But I think it's important to somehow find out "how the table's set" before you "sit down to eat".

My brothers owned a printing company and I'm telling you, their kids that worked there had preference over EVERYBODY else, no matter what. When they had a short-term layoff of employees, due to a temporary downturn in business, the first people to be called back were the kids of my brothers. Then, believe it or not, my brothers paid their kids in cash so the brats could continue to collect unemployment *and* get paid for working. It about made me puke!

So you really have to find out where this nephew stands with his uncle, before you'll know if complaining will do you any good.

I don't have anything to do with my brothers... as you could probably have guessed. ::)

Blessings~ EarthMama

[sckat]

It looks like it has been near a month so the issue probably has been settled one way or another. But if not, your tools if they belong to you are your property. Nothing wrong with politely saying that.

But find out why he left his last job. Might tell you a lot. I have a client who also had a niece's husband selling to him. Funny thing happened when they found out he had forged his name on IRS paperwork. He could have cost him his license with the state had he pushed it but it did terminate the business relationship.

Recently while in local store a son was talking about his Dad for all to hear. It bore on me and a few days latter knew I had to tell the Dad. Called him and Thank God he was not in but the Mom was. Right person. The son called me later and asked me to forgive him.

[MHinFox]

Jen this is an uncomfortable situation to say the least. Above all document. Second talk to the boss in private and explain what is happenng. Explain to the boss you are going to talk to him yourself (the jerk that is) but that you wanted to make sure the boss knew what the situation is. That way you have covered the bases with boss, have a chance to solve one on one, it keeps your boss from having to get involved in it hopefully, has a chance to solve the issue professionally...hope that helps some remember no matter what to keep emotions held back and handle it profesionally. Hope that helps some. It also takes some of the wind out of the offending fellows sails...they dont like professional endeavers as a rule.