PDA

View Full Version : Leaving a mess to loved ones


Moolah
09-29-2013, 07:11 PM
My cousin of 53 yrs old just passed from a heart attack. He left behind several car businesses and a 80 yr old mother.

He left no will. No instructions on his businesses, no insurance.

I spent the last 7 weeks in california trying to get it straightened out enough to turn it over to a new administrator.

Please please please, even if you think your adult mother will depart this world before you... leave a will just in case.

Keep all your recent stuff in a file cabinet, or box and let ALL your loved ones know what is going on.

So on to where I am today. I am back home, my 80 yr old aunt is here with us along with all her furniture and dogs. She could probably live on her own, but it would put a great hardship on all of us keeping in touch and track of her and her health. so much of my stuff is now in storage, and we have given her the down stairs to have decorated and arranged how to make her comfortable. We still have a night mare in calif, and I am SOOO glad to be home and trying to catch up on all that has been going on here.

Txanne
09-30-2013, 11:51 AM
My cousin of 53 yrs old just passed from a heart attack. He left behind several car businesses and a 80 yr old mother.

He left no will. No instructions on his businesses, no insurance.

I spent the last 7 weeks in california trying to get it straightened out enough to turn it over to a new administrator.

Please please please, even if you think your adult mother will depart this world before you... leave a will just in case.

Keep all your recent stuff in a file cabinet, or box and let ALL your loved ones know what is going on.

So on to where I am today. I am back home, my 80 yr old aunt is here with us along with all her furniture and dogs. She could probably live on her own, but it would put a great hardship on all of us keeping in touch and track of her and her health. so much of my stuff is now in storage, and we have given her the down stairs to have decorated and arranged how to make her comfortable. We still have a night mare in calif, and I am SOOO glad to be home and trying to catch up on all that has been going on here.


Moolah
I went through this also.

When hubby died with out a will in 1995 he left me with a massive mess also.
It took 8 years to clan it up.
Many many trips to court/lawyers and yes you guessed it,Relatives came out of the wood work.
As his wife and administrator--it was a long long aggravating journey.

Way back when I begged folks to make a will.
In Texas a home made will is reconized--but the expense of a lawyer in this matter will greatly reduce all the whys/wherefores and who gets-it woes.

Moolah is so right folks---that old truck could be tied up in court until it wont even start-----Please to it today.

wildturnip
10-01-2013, 07:22 PM
We all have wills made. I feel for you! I hope it won't take so long to get it all straightened out.

My Mom's aunt by marriage, who is actually about Mom's age, doesn't have a will. Her husband had a will. He died and they have no children. She has several people who she does not want to get anything but yet she won't make a will. The only family she has are cousins, nieces and nephews. Her idea is just let the fight it out after she's gone but I think that's selfish.

Txanne
10-02-2013, 01:10 AM
We all have wills made. I feel for you! I hope it won't take so long to get it all straightened out.

My Mom's aunt by marriage, who is actually about Mom's age, doesn't have a will. Her husband had a will. He died and they have no children. She has several people who she does not want to get anything but yet she won't make a will. The only family she has are cousins, nieces and nephews. Her idea is just let the fight it out after she's gone but I think that's selfish.

OMG---thats going to be a big mess.
The ones who dont help take care of her or even visit will scream the loudest.

wildturnip
10-02-2013, 03:50 PM
You are certainly speaking the truth! I've seen that happen more than once!

Colorado
10-02-2013, 09:02 PM
You also need power of medical attorney and a living will. Lawyer said to have both. My lawyer also said I needed a durable power of attorney in case I could not handle things. Plus the will. Like I told him there may not be anything left by then. It did cost me. But signed and fixed by the lawyer. All I was after was a simple will. I wanted it to be legal.

As your get older it takes money to survive. Seems some of us get more medical bills. And you can do less things.

Tim Horton
10-03-2013, 01:44 AM
Being an only child, and with the way this state is, of course it all got dropped on me as my Mom fadded in the nursing home and finely passed...

There were no assets, and I have had medical and financial power of attorney for a long time. She also had DNR, DNI.... in her medical records. (do not resuscitate, do not incubate which means no artificial life support, no mechanical breathing)

All states are different, so professional advise is worth the money if there are any assets.... Without the right paperwork on file, (a will or other acceptable instructions) even the price of a car, and the price to get that car transferred to a family member under state rules can break a familys bank.....

The more paperwork you have on file the less others (state, county, city, etc) can inflict there selves into your business at the time of a loss...

Git it done.......
Good luck

wildturnip
10-03-2013, 10:52 AM
I'm an only child too. We went about 6 years ago and had everything of Mom's put in my and DH's name with lifetime rights for her. We also had it fixed where our kids would get all mine and Mom's with lifetime rights for DH and me. So this is supposed to avoid inheritance tax and transfer fees, unless all the laws change!

Our church denomination does a good service where their attornies will do a will for free and you don't even have to give them anything, as in a donation, etc. DH, the kids and I had that done. Mom and Daddy had done theirs long ago. Daddy passed away in 2008.

We also have our vehicles registered as "owner, and/or survivor" so no transfer fees when owner dies. Daddy had one vehicle that way and one in his name only. Mom had to pay $75 to transfer the tags, etc. to her name.

anna
10-06-2013, 03:38 AM
The question to ask someone without a Will is do you want to decide where your assets go upon your death or do you want the State to decide? Also, if you have minor children, the question is do you want to name a guardian or do you want the State to decide where your children will live.

Everyone needs a Last Will and Testament and a Durabile Power of Attorney for Health Care Decisions and a Living Will (the last two are sometimes combined into one document) and a General Power of Attorney (for financial decisions).