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Bravo2uniform 10-03-2017 05:51 PM

I Am Burned Out
I have gone through a fairly rough patch in my life. I have been through rough patches, but for some reason, this last one took a lot out of me.

The short version is that I switched jobs and was quickly fired, then got another job three months later, worked about nine months and got fired again, was off for three months and hired...and got fired again maybe two months later. Prior to this spate of career troubles, I had never been fired or even laid off. It was as if, all of the sudden, I couldn't get along with anyone.

More troubling, was during the last four months of unemployment, I spent money that I should not have spent. I was not a good steward, it was as if I just gave up on living right and and got pulled under.

I recently started back to work and things seem to be tolerable. I am underpaid by about $ 20 K / year and having to work out of town, but at least I am employed. I am not happy because my employer told me I would be close to home - that's why I accepted a lower salary - and then they promptly sent me out of town. OK, that's still better than spending money you don't have - and I am glad for the opportunity.

The troubling aspect, though, is that, in the past, when I closed my eyes at night, I thought about my homestead plans and future and that is what got me through the tough time. I knew that someday I would be on that land and free of the shackles of corporations that treat you like a resource (a resource is something you use up, such as coal).

But now I can't seem to get lost in planning my future.

I have forgotten how to dream. I need restoration.

CountryMom22 10-04-2017 09:52 PM

Wish there was something I could say that would help, but there isn't. You just need to keep keepin' on. Make the most of this job even if it isn't perfect. You'll find the dream again if you can get past the negative thinking about the money you spent. We all make mistakes and go through dark times. But you'll make it to the other side, and while you're working at this job keep an eye out for the job that will get you back in town and to your homestead. This is just a temporary set back.

I'll be keeping you in my prayers.

Bravo2uniform 10-05-2017 08:19 PM

Thank you.

I guess the trick to it all is never giving up.

Just wish I could get my brain give it a rest ever now and then!

CountryMom22 10-05-2017 10:00 PM

You don't sound like a quitter to me, so I'm sure this will pass. Don't try to force yourself to imagine the homestead. Take some time to be thankful for the little things: an income (ok, not so little!), time to plan or revise plans, getting to live in a different area (remember it's temporary), maybe you can find some like minded people to spend some time with, etc.

That should help pass the time in a constructive manner. And hopefully help you to revive the dream!

doc 10-06-2017 08:01 PM

I've always said that the happiest people in the world are the bums on SkidRow because they're the only ones who are doing exactly what they want to be doing.

For the rest of us, we have our expectations & plans but rarely are we able to achieve them completely.

When we don't live up to our own expectations, we become frustrated and either get mad, or turn the anger inward and become depressed-- either way, we don't play well with others.

We either have to take steps to change the situation or concede and accept it.

Remember PeeWee's flip over his bicycle handlebars?-- "I meant to do that."

DavidOH 10-06-2017 10:41 PM

We all have the ups and downs in life. Sometimes the downs last for a while, and several in a row. BTDT. I'm going through a similar thing now.

Prayers for you and may a light of hope come you way soon.
We can all use a friend to encourage us, and point out the good that we already have.

Setanta 10-07-2017 09:51 AM

I was there many times but I just cut out luxuries and tightened my belt and doubled down harder.

have you considered the conquistador approach (when they arrived in mexico and sank their ships so there was no turning back), that's what I did, I scuttled everything, sold everything, went down to just what I could fit in a car, threw all my resources into a small plot of land and built up everything from there. I won't lie its a lot of hard labor and sacrifice, and lots of hardship, but unlike a crappy job that puts all your time and effort into nothing, putting lots of time and effort into building up a homestead puts the value of all of your work directly into your pockets (generally speaking). salvaging lumber and materials by demolishing old sheds and garages and burned houses, people will pay for the day labor for someone to tear down stuff for them, salvageable materials can then be stockpiled and turned into a shed, cabin, chicken coop, etc, and once you have it its yours and you gain the use of a homemade building. the conventional approach is to work a meaningless job for a small wage that barely covers your expenses to work (transportation to and from work, food) while eating up most of your time, slowly saving up money to buy new materials at very high prices. salvaging might not make much money (just enough to cover transportation and food for the day), but the material is free so eliminates the need for money to buy materials, but you need time to do it.

its not an easy approach and you have to think creatively, the modern mindset is trained to follow the wake, work a meaningless job for small pennies that barely cover living expenses, take a few hours to sleep, then repeat. there is a reason few jobs pay good money, they want workers who will stay long term, and pay just enough to keep you there, but not enough for you to rise above it.

what I did might terrify people who are too accustom to the system of work wage sleep repeat, but I can say there are a lot of benefits when you stop putting your time into making other people money and start generating the benefits of your labor for yourself.

overall my advice is to take a hard look at alternative options, you won't break out of a repeating cycle by doing the same thing and hoping things will change, sometimes a radicle change (which comes with lots of unknowns) is the way to break out of a cycle and start moving toward what you want

Kachad 10-19-2017 12:29 AM

I'm not trying to be a jerk or anything - but I'm curious about more details on how each job didn't last long - i.e, not being able to get along with anyone in the organizations.

The last two corporate jobs that I had, it was very similar. It was very frustrating relating to knowing how to get the job done, but not being able to do that - for a variety of reasons, mostly relating to people being insecure about their own "silo" of responsibility, and pure perceived (correct or incorrect) lack of skills of other people to do the job the way that I thought it should be done.

If you want to discuss it, shoot me a PM - might have some insight for you.

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