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Doninalaska 03-09-2018 02:51 PM

English as a language
 
[B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]Subject: Heteronyms.....this is brilliant. [/FONT][/COLOR][/B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Tahoma"][/FONT][/COLOR]




[COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Calibri"] [/FONT][/COLOR]
[INDENT] [B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]Your English lesson for today....[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]


[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]For all of you who wonder why folk from other countries have a bit of[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]
[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]trouble with the English language. This is a clever piece put together[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]
[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]by an English teacher, who else??[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]

[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]*Homographs are words of like spelling but with more than one meaning.[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]
[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]A homograph that is also pronounced differently is a heteronym.*[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]
[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]*You think English is easy??* *I think a retired English teacher was[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]
[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]bored...THIS IS GREAT !*[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]

[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]*Read all the way to the end.................This took a lot of work[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]
[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]to put together!*[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]
[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]1) The bandage was *wound* around the *wound*.[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]
[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]2) The farm was used to *produce produce*.[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]
[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]3) The dump was so full that it had to *refuse* more *refuse*.[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]
[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]4) We must *polish* the *Polish* furniture.[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]
[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]5) He could *lead*if he would get the *lead* out.[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]
[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]6) The soldier decided to *desert* his dessert in the *desert*.[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]
[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]7) Since there is no time like the *present*, he thought it was time[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]
[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]to *present* the *present*.[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]
[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]8) A *bass* was painted on the head of the *bass* drum.[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]
[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]9) When shot at, the *dove dove *into the bushes.[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]
[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]10) I did not *object* to the *object*.[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]
[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]11) The insurance was *invalid* for the *invalid*.[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]
[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]12) There was a *row* among the oarsmen about how to *row*.[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]
[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]13) They were too *close* to the door to *close* it.[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]
[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]14) The buck *does* funny things when the *does* are present.[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]
[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]15) A seamstress and a *sewer* fell down into a *sewer* line.[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]
[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his *sow* to *sow*.[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]
[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]17) The *wind* was too strong to *wind* the sail.[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]
[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]18) Upon seeing the *tear* in the painting I shed a *tear*.[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]
[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]19) I had to *subject* the *subject* to a series of tests.[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]
[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]20) How can I *intimate* this to my most *intimate* friend?[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]

[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]
[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in a pineapple.[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]
[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France.[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]
[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]
[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]
[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]
[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]

[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]
[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]
[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]
[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]
[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]
[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]

[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]
[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]
[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]
[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]
[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]
[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]feet that smell? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same,[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]
[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]
[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]
[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]
[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]which, an alarm goes off by going on.[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]

[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]
[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all.[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]
[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]
[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]lights are out, they are invisible.[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]

[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]PS. - Why doesn't 'Buick' rhyme with 'quick'? AND If a male goat is[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]
[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]called a ram and a donkey is called an ass, why is a ram-in-the-ass[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]
[/FONT][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=#26282a][FONT="Arial"]called a goose?[/FONT][/COLOR][/B]

[/INDENT]


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