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  #1  
Old 12-20-2014, 10:51 AM
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Ciderman Male Ciderman is offline
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Default Did I do the right thing?

Our youngest daughter (19) has made many wrong decisions. Seeing these decisions were sending her down the wrong road of life, I decided to try to help her. She has taken an interest in my guns and wants to learn to shoot them. When she has been with her so called "friends" which have been into drugs and in trouble with the law, I decided it was time for her to learn some responsibilities the right way. She is pregnant and about to give birth. I told her we will going shooting after the baby is born. She agree which I knew she would. I told her I would buy her a gun permit. She was excited. I told her if you get in trouble with the law you may be suspend from your permit or loose it permanently. Guns are for hunting (and not for they guy who got you pregnant and left you hanging to defend yourself), target shooting and personal protection. She agreed and I bought her a 4 year permit. I then told her it was up to her to save the money for the local gun store to take the female defense class which is about $300. I then gave her websites to compare gun prices so she could see what she may want. She loves pink and wants a pink gun. Then she saw the concealment purses and fell in love with them. Hopefully I have not created a monster. I am trying to teach her gun safety about leaving guns around the house loaded or unloaded, these are not toys (which she knows) and right now just general gun discussion. The cleaning and other things will come later. I also told her never tell anyone she has a gun or guns unless they shoot together to prevent someone trying to steal them. Hopefully I did the right thing.
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  #2  
Old 12-20-2014, 11:06 AM
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I think you did the right thing.
Stay involved, stay engaged, if things look to be going wrong you can hope you will be the first to see it and maybe do something.
Proper firearm training is always a good investment.
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  #3  
Old 12-20-2014, 11:15 AM
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coaltrain Male coaltrain is offline
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Her looking at pink guns and fancy concealment purses tells me she is only looking at shopping for something fancy like clothes.

I would start her out shooting with you with a single shot .22 (or basic rifle) and see if she keeps interest that way before a lot of money is spent.

Just my opinion and how I remember my daughter was at that age.
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  #4  
Old 12-20-2014, 07:16 PM
m37 Male m37 is offline
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i think you did the right thing, she is going to be getting a good dose of responseabilty real soon, the main thing is that you belive you are doing the right thing, you have my respect
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  #5  
Old 12-21-2014, 12:36 AM
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Tim Horton Male Tim Horton is offline
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Ummmmm....... To me, this is a hard one in some respects....

You and you alone know what is the best way to deal with your child...

I guess my concern is this.... You don't seem as "on guard" concerning some of the other people she may or has associated with.... Both for her and your security and safety.....

From my prospective, I can't help but hear very loud alarm bells more so than you seem to indicating you hear... My 2 cents at least...

Good luck....
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Old 12-21-2014, 12:30 PM
Nickathome Nickathome is offline
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My opinion she should be more concerned with her child and how she's going to raise it as a single mom Seems like you may be enabling her a little too much. She needs to grow up and put things into perspective. Right now her child should be priority number one. The guns can come later when she's more mature and shows she can be responsible. It doesn't seem to me that she's shown herself to be too responsible. If things go the way I perceive them to, YOU will be raising your own grandchild soon. Don't let it happen.
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  #7  
Old 12-21-2014, 02:08 PM
Terri Terri is offline
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I see no harm in this.

BUT!

That baby will be a toddler in no time, and she needs to keep the gun locked up when she is not using it. The baby/toddler/child will not realize it is not a toy.
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Old 12-21-2014, 02:28 PM
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Tim Horton Male Tim Horton is offline
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OK..... With a little more info I didn't catch before...

A very young single mom living independently (?) with a toddler in the house... And the possibility of her friends not being "good" citizens....I amend my thoughts..... NO gun, NO way, NO how..... If anything bad would happen with a gun YOU provided, my guess is you would be in very big jeopardy with the law yourself....

As too bad as this all may sound... I'd be inclined to error on the side of not letting my fanny as well as hers get in trouble with a firearm in the mix....

Good luck...
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  #9  
Old 12-21-2014, 04:28 PM
susang Female susang is offline
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Sorry I have to be on the side of 'no' on gun. First she is 19 an adult, she needs to figure out how to take care of her baby. I had a gun at 19 but I hunted and had done so since 13. If she is holding the baby in one hand and gun in the other, wow bad scenario all around.
Second is her only bad decision her friends or does she do drugs maybe and just hasn't been caught. Young adults often believe their piers over their parents.
Lastly have you taken her shopping for baby things did she fall in love with a diaper bag or baby clothes? Saying that it is not your responsibility to take her shopping for baby things but neither is shopping for a gun. My opinion the baby needs more then a Mom with a pink gun and fancy concealment purse.
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Old 12-21-2014, 10:31 PM
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My Daughter was in that same position about 4 years ago, I was hoping having her kid would have increased her responsibility. The opposite happened, she started making even worse decisions.

I hope yours turns her life around.

I think it's a great thing to participate in a new interest with her, one that both of you share.

I also would strongly suggest not assisting in any way with her obtaining a personal firearm. The permit part I agree with, but would stop at that. If she doesn't start hanging out with a higher quality group of friends and doesn't truly turn her life around, that firearm is going to end up stolen.

I really hope for both of your sakes that she starts making the right decisions. The hardest thing in my life is to step back from my Daughter and let her deal with the consequences of her choices, versus enabling her.

Thoughts are with ya Man!
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  #11  
Old 12-22-2014, 10:11 AM
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Thanks for all the responses. Yes she will be a single mother but her living arrangements will be at home or with an older sister which is to be determined. She mentioned this to some of my shooting buddies at church and they gave her advice and are encouraging her. They want her to go to the range with us (so much for guys time). One was in the military and has raised his kids to wisely respect loaded guns laying around the house. I am taking everything in baby steps. The first thing was getting her gun permit as I was afraid POTUS would make them new ones illegal.
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  #12  
Old 12-23-2014, 12:54 PM
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I can't think of what you are doing wrong. You being involved with your daughter. Maybe if you had done this when she learned to walk would have been better

BTW, why do you need a permit to use your constitutional rights?
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  #13  
Old 12-23-2014, 10:10 PM
gundog10 Male gundog10 is offline
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I would just keep doing what you are doing. When she is ready to go shooting take her as often as you can. Teach her good gun handling skills, have a great time and stop on the way home for some ice cream. Stay involved. But, if you are going to buy her a gun (my wife loves her pink lady) I would let her know up front that it is hers but it will stay in the safe until YOU believe she is mature enough to really handle the responsibility.
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  #14  
Old 12-24-2014, 12:21 PM
Nickathome Nickathome is offline
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Maybe she should learn to practice some abstinence, then learn about guns. The world doesn't need more welfare cases.
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  #15  
Old 12-24-2014, 04:35 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nickathome View Post
Maybe she should learn to practice some abstinence, then learn about guns. The world doesn't need more welfare cases.
wow, your the nasty one, your comment was not called for
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  #16  
Old 12-24-2014, 05:25 PM
J R Adams J R Adams is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nickathome View Post
Maybe she should learn to practice some abstinence, then learn about guns. The world doesn't need more welfare cases.
Quote:
Originally Posted by m37 View Post
wow, your the nasty one, your comment was not called for
Reality is harsh but no reason to take cheap shots at loving parents trying to work through an unpleasent situation.

Ciderman do what you need to do to connect and help your daughter. She needs your love and support now more than ever and there is another being that will need you and your love and guidence. Stand fast my good man.

Last edited by J R Adams; 12-24-2014 at 05:34 PM.
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  #17  
Old 12-28-2014, 11:23 PM
sethwyo sethwyo is offline
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the past is gone and you can't go back and change things.
Look forward to the future,
seems to me like you have a new chance, with your grandchild and with your daughter.
target shooting can be a lot of fun it's an outdoor hobby that can bring people together, and if the father of that child is not around you will probably end up having to substitute as the father of your grandchild, so it sounds to me like good things are happening all around for you,
of course there is a danger with guns if they're not handled properly or safely, the same way as with cars or with the kitchen blender.

I can not think of anything that sounds like you've made a mistake.

If anyone cares what I think
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