BHM's Homesteading & Self-Reliance Forum

Posting requires Registration and the use of Cookies-enabled browser


Go Back   BHM Forum > After Sunset > Humor

Humor G or PG-rated humor only. Post adult humor in the Extended Access section.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
  #1  
Old 01-04-2016, 02:52 AM
Doninalaska Doninalaska is offline
Grand Master Pontificator
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,598
Default For those of us who are retired:

A Retired Person's Perspective:


1. I'm not saying let's go kill all the stupid people. I'm just saying let's remove all the warning labels and let the problem work itself out.


2. I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People move out of the way much faster now.


3. You can tell a lot about a woman's mood just by her hands. If they are holding a gun, she's probably pissed.


4. Gone are the days when girls cooked like their mothers. Now they drink like their fathers.


5. You know that tingly little feeling you get when you really like someone you've just met? That's common sense leaving your body.


6. I don't like making plans for the day. Because then the word "premeditated" gets thrown around in the courtroom.


7. I didn't make it to the gym today. That makes 1,500 days in a row.


8. I decided to change calling the bathroom the John and renamed it the Jim. I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.


9. Dear paranoid people who check behind shower curtains for murderers. If you find one, what's your plan?


10. Everyone has a right to be stupid. Politicians just abuse the privilege.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 01-04-2016, 09:26 AM
Ciderman's Avatar
Ciderman Male Ciderman is offline
Master Pontificator
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Central Indiana
Posts: 578
Default

Dinunalaska thanks I enjoyed all of them.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 01-04-2016, 04:08 PM
Tim Horton's Avatar
Tim Horton Male Tim Horton is offline
Grand Master Pontificator
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Deep in the BC Bush
Posts: 5,820
Default

Chuckle...
__________________
Always fresh.
Keep your stick on the ice. Red Green
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 01-11-2016, 10:14 PM
rubyyarn's Avatar
rubyyarn Female rubyyarn is offline
Grand Master Pontificator
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: SW Virginia
Posts: 1,113
Default

Now that's funny!
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 01-12-2016, 12:13 PM
Wildapple's Avatar
Wildapple Female Wildapple is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Sunny FL
Posts: 212
Default

Good one! I particularly like #9.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 01-12-2016, 08:36 PM
Jjr's Avatar
Jjr Male Jjr is offline
Master Pontificator
 
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: NWLA
Posts: 836
Default

That was nice & refreshing, Don.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

All times are GMT -2. The time now is 09:29 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
© 1996 to Present. Backwoods Home Magazine, Inc.