Memos I want to send - with all my heart
Part of my job is to serve you in all things that are conventionally considered “women’s work”. Therefore, if you cannot find time to take your dirty dishes and put them in the DISHWASHER, please send me an email and let me know so that I can stop by your desk and pick them up to be cleaned for you.
Coming soon: Grand “Unable to Comprehend Sarcasm” Award. The winner gets a personalized certificate and a smack on the back of the head.
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By now, you are well aware that I have to have beverages chilled for executive meetings, and that those beverages are designated with a sign "For MEETINGS" in the break room refrigerator. You are probably also aware that many people feel these sodas and bottled water should be free for all no matter how they are labeled.
So it is to those people I say: I am sorry. I apologize for gluing the soda cans to the box. I am truly sorry for the glue trap that I also epoxied to the cans inside the box. I realize it was a naughty thing to do and I promise I won't do it again.
Next time I will inject one of the cans with laxitive and reseal it. Drink up at your own risk.