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Conversations Pass the time with friends and neighbors. Bring your own coffee.
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  #1  
Old 10-28-2017, 02:41 PM
stickbowhntr Male stickbowhntr is offline
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How do you folks find groups (its hard as we all loners so to speak) of people to interact with in your area ? Lost my wife of 34 years a few years ago and Kids all busy or gone, no other family . So no weddings, graduations, picnics etc to meet new. Sr centers , well was to two and they TOO OLD .L.O.L. Church does not give me what I'm looking for as some too big and other too small to find. I'm lost and just trying to ask for suggestions. I'm retired and most my friends not ( and we've drifted) or too hobbled to get out.
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Old 10-28-2017, 06:42 PM
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How do you folks find groups (its hard as we all loners so to speak) of people to interact with in your area ? Lost my wife of 34 years a few years ago and Kids all busy or gone, no other family . So no weddings, graduations, picnics etc to meet new. Sr centers , well was to two and they TOO OLD .L.O.L. Church does not give me what I'm looking for as some too big and other too small to find. I'm lost and just trying to ask for suggestions. I'm retired and most my friends not ( and we've drifted) or too hobbled to get out.
Maybe volunteer with some group you think is worthy.
Veterans groups always need help.
Just about all organizations need volunteers desperately.
Go visit your friends that are too hobbled to get out and try to get them out. Even to just go for coffee would help them and you.
I drive vets to doctor appointments and I get to talk to some very interesting people.
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  #3  
Old 10-29-2017, 12:47 AM
Doninalaska Doninalaska is offline
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How do you folks find groups (its hard as we all loners so to speak) of people to interact with in your area ? Lost my wife of 34 years a few years ago and Kids all busy or gone, no other family . So no weddings, graduations, picnics etc to meet new. Sr centers , well was to two and they TOO OLD .L.O.L. Church does not give me what I'm looking for as some too big and other too small to find. I'm lost and just trying to ask for suggestions. I'm retired and most my friends not ( and we've drifted) or too hobbled to get out.
Church is one of my social outlets. I think if you find a church that has been around long enough to have several generations attend, you should find folks in your age group. I also volunteer with the local hospice and attend a garden club in the area. I have children and grandchildren in the area as well, but sometimes it is good to have friends outside the family. Find a hobby with a club or meeting in the area, or support your local library or something. Join a theater or sports group if you are into those kinds of things. High school or small college booster clubs are a place to meet folks if you have any of those things in your area even if you don't have family members on the teams.
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Old 10-29-2017, 07:03 PM
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How do you folks find groups (its hard as we all loners so to speak) of people to interact with in your area ? Lost my wife of 34 years a few years ago and Kids all busy or gone, no other family . So no weddings, graduations, picnics etc to meet new. Sr centers , well was to two and they TOO OLD .L.O.L. Church does not give me what I'm looking for as some too big and other too small to find. I'm lost and just trying to ask for suggestions. I'm retired and most my friends not ( and we've drifted) or too hobbled to get out.
If you got em. Go to Macdonald or BK at 7-8 in morning. You probably strike up conversation with one of folks that come everyday. Senior coffee is cheap and refills are free and people are friendly.
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Old 10-29-2017, 07:39 PM
hunter88 hunter88 is offline
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Gotta agree with that. Here you can even find some guys sitting around drinking coffee at the local gas station. I stop often at a station in a town of under 100 people, and there will usually be 3 or 4 guys talking and drinking coffee.
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Old 10-29-2017, 08:16 PM
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Gotta agree with that. Here you can even find some guys sitting around drinking coffee at the local gas station. I stop often at a station in a town of under 100 people, and there will usually be 3 or 4 guys talking and drinking coffee.
In our town that gas station is run by MFA and has a small shop ( lottery tickets smokes booze and snacks ) - 4 tables and restaurant fir lunch and breakfast only but it is more working age people.menu is on one side of half a sheet it paper. Of course it is name Dew Drop Inn.
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Old 10-29-2017, 11:59 PM
Kachad Male Kachad is offline
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Gotta agree with that. Here you can even find some guys sitting around drinking coffee at the local gas station. I stop often at a station in a town of under 100 people, and there will usually be 3 or 4 guys talking and drinking coffee.
I see this a lot when I'm on the road. One of the reasons why I like it so much, every once in awhile y'get caught up in a conversation.
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Old 10-30-2017, 01:26 AM
Setanta Male Setanta is offline
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until about 2 months ago there was a group of morning regulars at the local general store. our towns general store had a small grocery area, deli, coffee, newspapers, pizza, some hardware, bottle redemption area, etc, they had a table near the coffee pot and offered free wifi. the owner ran the store from 5am to 7am (other times up to 10 am, then his neice or sister in law ran it while he went to work his other business). the morning regulars were a few of us who came in really early, some retired people, cops on their way to work, some farmers and farm workers, highway workers, etc. most came in for 15 to 20 minutes to order beakfast sandwiches, get coffee, and the paper, others to pick up a cold sandwich for lunch if they planned to need a field lunch. others came in because it was the place to pick up the local talk/gossip. personally I went there early to use the wifi when it was too early to do work at my place. a few others used the wifi too like the owers brother in law but the wifi users were not as talkative (some just sat in their cars in the parking lot)

unfortunately the new owners keep different hours and almost eliminated coffee, they did away with the deli, pizza, icecream, beer, etc completely, and they only open at 8am when most of the talkative crowd among the town are too busy to be there (many had to be at work by 7am so only were at the store around 6 to 630, and by 730 the sun is up and lots of farm workers have to be out in the fields). even I rarely stayed after 8am (full sunlight when the mosquitoes hide and a straw hat and long sleves keep the deer and horse flies off). can't say I found a new place myself, barely talked to anyone in 2 months.
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  #9  
Old 10-30-2017, 02:21 PM
stickbowhntr Male stickbowhntr is offline
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It's just hard finding people today. Been widowed 3-1/2 years and kids gone bout same time. Empty house syndrome and kids and wife (34 years) gone all same time. I'm too young to have required friends too old for midlife folks lol
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  #10  
Old 10-30-2017, 04:35 PM
wildturnip Female wildturnip is offline
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I'm sorry for your loss. I hope you can reach out and make some connections, It might take some time but don't give up! Prayer meeting is a great place to get to know people because folks are sharing their lives there as they ask for special prayer.
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  #11  
Old 10-30-2017, 07:39 PM
Setanta Male Setanta is offline
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sounds like you have a defeatist attitude on your outlook. I was one of the youngest of the regulars I mentioned in my previous reply (at 35), the store owner was around 57, the regulars who worked as field hands were between 23 and 45, the farmers between 30 and 60, the older people who came for the paper and gossip were between 50 and 75. and the cops who stopped in were all in their 40s, not old enough to retire, but worn out and burned out that they don't take things seriously anymore.

if your focused on talking to people the same age as you are then your probably going to be very scarce. most of the people I talked to shared similar concerns over firewood harvesting, livestock, planting, milk prices, gardens, hunting, and general gossip. I have felt the same sentiment you seem to be expressing, but usually only when I was trying to meet women with the idea of long term relationships, most women close to my age are already married, the ones that aren't are either much older or much younger. i'm too old to be picked up as a trouphy husband for a rich old woman and too poor to pick up young gold digging floozies (sorry for the poor attempt at humor). my advice is to break the pattern of where you look and fling yourself into any group of people in your area if they are in a public place and see where that leads. if nothing else, if you have some skill in something you could always get involved in the boy scouts as an educator (they look for people with specialized training to oversee activities for scouts to earn merit badges), you might also try to volunteer at the local food pantry (even if its boring and your just inventorying boxes of stuff that came off the trucks you will have a few other volunteers around like unpaid co-workers).

this past week I myself helped a neighbor build a fancy new outhouse, working alongside the neighbor was a welcome change to all the long hours working alone.
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  #12  
Old 11-07-2017, 05:55 PM
Bravo2uniform Bravo2uniform is offline
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I have nothing brilliant or helpful to add to this thread...but having nothing helpful to add has never stopped me before...

My wife and I find ourselves in a similar position. Scarcity is another thing that makes friends special.
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Old 12-22-2017, 06:44 AM
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I live so far out they pump sun-shine to me----I gave up on finding anyone that could put up with me------

I totally understand the problem and if you find anyone they lived 6 states over.

I gave up on Sam Elliott--so I am on the market--lol lol lol

Txanne
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Old 12-23-2017, 06:45 PM
Terri Terri is offline
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Sam is, alas, QUITE married!
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Old 01-16-2018, 05:24 PM
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I have the same issue on finding friends. I've lived in this community since 1976 but worked away for 25 years. Now I'm retired and a widow I spend 99.99% of my time alone. People are friendly, but only in a passing way. They have established relationships going back to childhood and family to socialize with so that leaves me alone. I could go to senior center for lunch each day but really don't want to spend the money. I could go across the street to the senior housing complex and visit each day, but I'm not wanting to socialize that much! I do go over occasionally as four former neighbors and my former d-i-l live there.

I tend to spend my "social" time online with like minded folks i.e. preppers, gardeners, genealogy enthusiasts, quilter/sewers or thrift related forums or vlogs. I do go to church and volunteer there. Everyone is extremely friendly but go home to family. Even the other widows have family around them. Mine is scattered. I guess its a good thing that I'm basically a loner although I miss having friends to visit with regularly.
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