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The rain is showing signs of tapering off in southwest Oregon. We've had one of our rainiest winters in a decade. The roads are all busted up. Even part of the Interstate fell into the ocean a mile or so below my house. They're still scratching their heads about how they're going to fix that. All the locals are hoping the severe winter dampens the desire of Southern Californians to move up here, because their moving up to Oregon just raises our property prices and makes it tougher for our kids to find affordable homes here. I think the housing boom bubble in the Northwest is on the verge of bursting anyway, so maybe this winter will help start that process.

Today, believe it or not, happens to be sunny. As part of my semi-retirement I'm having a river boat built for myself so I can go fishing on the many rivers here whenever I want, and I visited that boat at the construction shop of Wayne Adams just yesterday. It's 24 feet, which is big for a river boat, but I have a lot of kids and they have a lot of friends so I need a big boat. And of course it has a cabin for the rain. The cabin is removable so I can take it off and go out on a calm day to the Gold Beach Reef a few miles offshore where the really big red snapper and lingcod reside. Semi-retirement will be filled with healthful fish for my suspect heart arteries.

It's a great life to be publisher of Backwoods Home Magazine. But it sure is nice to have deadline over once more.

—Dave

SELF-RELIANCE TIPS

Know Your Livestock and Be Safe

Farm operators know the dangers of working with machinery, the leading cause of death and injury in the nation's most hazardous occupation. However, many fail to perceive the dangers of working with farm animals.

In the state of Iowa, for example, one out of every six injuries on the farm involves animals, or about 350 of more than 2,100 injuries reported by Iowa farmers in 1990. Animals are the second leading cause of injury on Iowa farms.

Injuries identified with animals include bites, kicks, or situations in which the worker gets pinned between the animal and a farm building, implement, or other fixed object. The best way to avoid livestock injuries is to understand animal behavior. Only by knowing their animals, and what to expect in certain situations, can farm workers protect themselves and others from injury.

Animals without proper care pose more danger to humans than ones that are fed and sheltered. This publication, however, deals with animal behavior related to habits, social relationships, maternal instincts, and territorial behavior.

Animal Habits

Domesticated animals living under fairly uniform conditions often do the same thing each day at a specific time. Part of this is caused by habit formation, such as when cows gather around the barn just before milking time.

Habits also are caused by regular changes in environmental conditions, such as the temperature or humidity fluctuations when daylight turns to darkness Animals are most active at the time of greatest change, such as at dawn or dusk. They will be least active either in the middle of the day or the middle of the night.

Learned behavior patterns enable animals to adjust to changes in their environment. Most animals have a variety of established behavior patterns that can be expressed when their environment changes. Animals learn to apply one behavior over another according to which one produces the most comfortable situation.

For example, a cow placed in a milking stanchion can react in several ways. The animal could try to break loose or stand quietly until released. Since only the latter behavior produces comfort, most animals will adopt that behavior pattern.

Social Relationships

Any animal that normally lives in a flock or herd can become lonely, depressed, frightened, or agitated if separated from other animals. An animal that normally would not frighten when the caretaker enters would become upset easily when left in isolation.

This poses a special problem for people who work with dairy cattle or horses. Cows left by themselves during the milking procedure can overreact to sudden movements or situations that normally would not frighten them. Likewise, an individual who rides a horse used to being with other horses may notice the animal becoming excited or frightened as time away from other animals increases.

Animals form social relationships with caretakers, too. Caretakers normally form a care-dependency relationship with animals under their charge. To feed and provide shelter for livestock, a caretaker must have the dominant role.

In caring for a dog, an individual may form a leader-follower relationship in which the human's actions are repeated by the animal. This is sometimes difficult to accomplish in other species, such as cattle or hogs, because of the innate behavior pattern of that species.

Maternal Instincts

All domesticated animals have strong maternal instincts. Most animals show few, if any, maternal instincts during the initial part of the pregnancy, but change abruptly after giving birth.

For example, sows may appear docile during pregnancy. Their reduction of physical activity is influenced by the animal's increased body weight. But when nesting begins, or after giving birth, sows will exhibit maternal tendencies. This is shown by signs of excitement, and biting walls, fences, or people to seek an outlet. The sow's voice is lower, and when startled or crowded into a small area, the sow becomes aggressive.

Experienced farm workers may recognize these aggressive behaviors as maternal tendencies, even before nest-building begins. However, persons new to a livestock operation may not be able to identify and anticipate the animal's aggressive behavior.

Territorial Protection

Domesticated animals try to protect territories as do animals in the wild. Caretakers may see this by an animal's aggressive behavior during feeding.

However, studies have shown that feed distributed in large, unpredictable patches will not result in territorial behavior among livestock. Feed distributed uniformly or in predictable patterns often results in territorial behavior, that is, the animal decides the area may be worth defending to secure access to the feed and exclude others.

To keep livestock from fighting at the feed trough, distribute feed in large, unpredictable patches. Avoid uniform distribution, or placing specified amounts in areas for certain animals.

Animals can adapt to farm environments but there are many factors that influence behavior. Study livestock and take note of individual tendencies. Understand which factors influence animal behavior and know what to expect. Only then can farm workers reduce the risk of injuries associated with farm animals.

What Can You Do?

Handling livestock can be dangerous. Animals can be unpredictable. Practice these guidelines when you work with livestock.

• Avoid dramatic changes of an animal's habits.
• Be alert when handling animals during their most active time at dawn and dusk.
• Keep groups of animals together for better control.
• Maintain a dominant role with farm animals.
• Place food in irregular patches and volumes to avoid fighting.

Source - National Agricultural Safety Database

RECIPES

This issue, we thought we'd include some unusual recipes for the vegetarians among us, but you don't have to be a vegetarian to enjoy these dishes, all of which include beer as an ingredient. Good eating!

Beer Battered Fried Vegetables

2 cups all-purpose flour
1 1/2 cups beer
2 eggs
1 cup milk
salt and pepper to taste
2 cups vegetable oil for frying
1 large carrot, cut into thick strips
1 onion, sliced into rings
6 fresh mushrooms, stems removed
1 green bell pepper, sliced in rings

In a medium bowl, mix together 1 1/2 cup flour and beer with a wooden spoon; let stand for at least 3 hours at room temperature.

Mix eggs and milk in a small bowl. In a separate bowl mix together 1/2 cup flour and salt and pepper.

Heat oil to 375 degrees F (190 degrees C).

Dip each vegetable in the egg and milk mixture. Next dip the vegetable into the flour and seasoning mixture, finally dip the vegetable in the beer and flour mixture. Place the vegetables into the oil and fry until golden brown,

BBQ Corn

10 ears fresh corn with husks
1 quart beer
7-10 pounds of ice cubes

Place unshucked, whole ears of corn in an ice chest. Pour beer over top. Dump ice out over the ears of corn. Place the lid on the cooler, and let sit 8 hours, or overnight.

Preheat smoker to 250 degrees F ( 120 degrees C).

Place corn in the smoker and close the lid. Cook for 1 to 2 hours, turning every 20 minutes or so. Kernels should give easily under pressure when done. To eat, just peel back the husks and use them for a handle.

Beer Cheese Fondue

1 clove garlic, split in half
2 cups beer (non alcoholic is fine)
1 pound sharp Cheddar cheese, shredded
1 pound mild Colby cheese, shredded
2 tablespoons. ketchup
1 tablespoon Dijon mustard
2 teaspoons Worcestershire sauce
1 onion, chopped
1 tablespoon olive oil
1/2 teaspoon hot red pepper sauce

Rub fondue pot with garlic and discard garlic. Pour beer into pot and heat over low heat until steam begins rising from surface.

In heavy skillet cook onion in olive oil until tender. Stir into fondue along with remaining ingredients and, stirring constantly, cook over low heat until melted and blended. You may add more cheese or beer to reach the desired consistency. Serve immediately with dippers, including cubes of your favorite breads and vegetables.

Beer Tofu

1 can of beer
1/2 block tofu, extra firm
1 1/2 cups cornmeal
1 1/2 cups unbleached white flour
1 tablespoon paprika
1 tablespoon garlic pepper salt (the kind that's mixed together already)
1 tablespoon parsley
3/4 cup soybean or sesame oil

Mix cornmeal and spices together in a big bowl, set aside.

Put the beer a large bowl and gradually add the white flour (you may not need to use all of it) until it creates a batter that drips off of a spoon, runny like pancake mix. Set aside.

Slice tofu into 1/4 inch thick pieces, cover with a paper towel and pat out any extra wetness.

Dip slices of tofu into beer batter, and let any excess drip off of it.

Dredge dipped tofu in cornmeal mixture, ensuring that it is well covered.

Heat half the oil in a large skillet on medium heat. Fry half the tofu until it is golden, drain on paper towels. Fry remaining tofu.

Serve with sour cream, pickles, and more beer!

Easy Curried Chickpea Potato Stew

4-6 idaho potatoes, cut into even sized chunks
4 carrots, sliced into bite size pieces
1 can garbanzo beans, or soaked equivalent
1/2 medium onion, chopped
1/2 tablespoon Olive oil
ample curry powder (to taste)
1 bottle beer

Boil a big pot of water. When it is boiling, add potato chunks. While they are cooking, saute your carrots in big frying pan. After 2-3 minutes, add onions.

Check your potatoes-they won't take long (don't overcook 'em). Add the potatoes (without the water) to the frying pan. Add curry to taste.

About this time, the whole thing will start to need a little liquid, so pour in about 1/4 of the bottle of beer. Let the whole thing simmer with a top on and check it after a few minutes. Some of the beer should have boiled off by this point. Add some more beer (really, to taste) and then leave the top off while most of the beer boils off.

HUMOR

A blonde heard that milk baths would make her beautiful so she left a note for her milkman to leave 15 gallons of milk.

When the Milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 1.5 gallons so he knocked on the door to clarify the point.

When the blonde came to the door, the milkman said, "I found your note to leave 15 gallons of milk. Did you mean 1.5 gallons?"

The blonde said, "No. I want 15 gallons. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath."

And when the milkman asked, "Do you want it pasteurized?", the blond replied, "No, just up to my chest, I can splash it in my eyes."

Elder humor

I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor's permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over.

A reporter was interviewing a 104-year-old woman
"And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked.
She replied simply, "No peer pressure."

The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs.

I've sure gotten old.! I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees. Fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends. But, thank God, I still have my driver's license.

A 97-year-old man goes into his doctor's office and says, "Doc, I want my sex drive lowered."
"Sir," replied the doctor, "you're 97 Don't you think your sex drive is all in your head?"
"You're darned right it is!" replied the old man. "That's why I want it lowered!"

An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and told her preacher she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Wal-Mart.
"Wal-Mart?" the preacher exclaimed. "Why Wal-Mart?"
"Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week."

Think you're too old to attract guys? You should know that any woman can have the body of a 21-year-old...as long as she buys him a few drinks first.

My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.

Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.

I'm getting into swing dancing, but not on purpose. Some parts of my body are just prone to swinging.

It's scary when your body starts making the same noises as your coffee maker.

Don't let aging get you down. It's too hard to get back up.

The Senility Prayer

Lord, grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.

Only a Texan could think of this

Recently a routine police patrol parked outside a bar in Bandera, Texas, the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so intoxicated that he could barely walk.

The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing. After what seemed an eternity and trying his keys on five different vehicles, the man managed to find his car which he fell into.

He sat there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off.

Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off (it was a fine, dry summer night) flicked the blinkers on, then off a couple of times, honked the horn and then switched on the lights. He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then remained still for a few more minutes as some more of the other patron vehicles left.

At last, the parking lot empty, he pulled out of the parking lot and started to drive slowly down the road.

The police officer, having patiently waited all this time, now started up the patrol car, put on the flashing lights, and promptly pulled the man over and carried out a breathalyzer test.

To his amazement the breathalyzer indicated no evidence of the man having consumed any alcohol at all!

Dumbfounded, the officer said, "I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the police station. This breathalyzer equipment must be broken."

"I doubt it," said the truly proud Texan. "Tonight I'm the designated decoy."

Sheldon Cohen

A man walks to 5th Ave. & 42nd St. in New York City during a downpour and somehow manages to get a taxi immediately. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing. You're just like Sheldon."

"Who?"

"Sheldon Cohen. There's a guy who did everything right. Like my cab being vacant during a rainstorm. It would have happened like that for Sheldon every single time."

"Well, no one is perfect. There are always a few clouds over everybody", stated the passenger.

"Not Sheldon," said the cabbie. "He was a terrific athlete. Hecould have gone on the pro tour in tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star. Handsome and sophisticated, more than Cary Grant. He had a better body than Arnold in his prime. He was something!

"Somehow Sheldon just knew exactly how to make women happy," the cabbie continued. "He had a memory like a computer. Could remember everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which fork to eat with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole neighborhood blacks out."

"Wow, incredible , no wonder you remember him!" said the passenger.

"Well, I never actually met Sheldon," admitted the cabbie.

"Then how do you know so much about him?" asked the passenger.

"After he died, I married his wife."
 

OTHER STUFF

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