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BHM Newsletter
June 21, 2006
My family and I just got back from 29 Palms, California, home of the largest U.S. Marine Corps training base in the United States, and one of the hottest places on the planet. My son-in-law, Erik Tuttle, teaches marines to fire the 81 mm mortar there. My daughter, Annie, who is an off-site editor for BHM, stays mostly indoors taking care of their two children, Olga, 2, and newborn Gavin. With an average daytime temperature of 110 degrees, it’s just too darn hot to go outside. I asked Erik how he and the other marines can stand to train outside in the heat, and he said this year was a breakthrough for him because he only sweats if he’s in a flak jacket and inside a closed space with other people. A tanker I talked with said it’s another 10 or 15 degrees hotter inside the tank, but he loves his job. Wow! I just about died every time I went outside into the heat, so I got into the habit of taking a nap during the day and swimming at the motel pool for a couple of hours in the evening. The area is certainly a good training spot prior to embarking for Iraq. British troops acclimate themselves in 29 Palms prior to going to Iraq. Many small towns of 6 to 15,000 have spring up around the base, and I’d guess that 95% of the people would immediately leave if the base closed down. But there are quite a few retired marines living in the area. It must be that they became acclimated to the heat and now like the relative quiet of the small towns. We stayed at the 29 Palms Inn, known by the Indians as the Oasis of Marah. It has a natural aquifer and pond that supports numerous Palm trees in an otherwise barren desert. The Inn consists of a dozen of so primitive cabins scattered about the oasis. The outdoor pool is outside the Inn’s restaurant/bar, and my family typically swam while a talented small group of musicians played and sang. Very enjoyable place and respite from the heat. Erik and Annie spent most evenings barbecuing with us on the deck of our small cabin, then swam in the pool. When we left for the return trip back home, it was 113 degrees in 29 Palms, but by the time we got to the Oregon coast a dozen miles from my home it was 57 degrees. It’s still in the low 60s at the BHM offices in downtown Gold Beach. We’ve been discussing covers for the upcoming 101st issue. We’ve got an excellent two-part series on building a house foundation ready to go. The article has lots of good photos but none suitable for a cover, so I’ve been on the phone with Don Childers in Colorado tossing around ideas for a cover. A lot of other articles are being whipped into shape. I’ll tell you about some of them in a future newsletter.
Windows can be one of your home's most attractive features. Windows provide views, daylighting, ventilation, and solar heating in the winter. Unfortunately, they can also account for 10% to 25% of your heating bill. During the summer, your air conditioner must work harder to cool hot air from sunny windows. Install ENERGY STAR windows and use curtains and shade to give your air conditioner and energy bill a break. If you live in the Sun Belt, look into new solar control spectrally selective windows, which can cut the cooling load by 10% to 15%. If your home has single-pane windows, as almost half of U.S. homes do, consider replacing them. New doublepane windows with high-performance glass (e.g., low-e or spectrally selective) are available on the market. In colder climates, select windows that are gas filled with low emissivity (low-e) coatings on the glass to reduce heat loss. In warmer climates, select windows with spectrally selective coatings to reduce heat gain. If you are building a new home, you can offset some of the cost of installing more efficient windows because doing so allows you to buy smaller, less expensive heating and cooling equipment.
If you decide not to replace your windows, the simpler, less costly measures listed below can improve their performance. Cold-Climate Window Tips
Warm-Climate Window Tips
Shopping Tips for Windows
Piña Colada 3/4 cup ice
Put the ice, frozen pineapple, juice, coconut cream, and the white and dark rums into a blender. Blend until smooth and frosty. Pour the drink into a deep stemmed glass and garnish the rim with pineapple slices. Fresh fruit salad with honey rum dressing 1 tablespoon crystallized ginger, chopped
In a small saucepan, combine rum, honey, orange juice, and ginger. Heat just to boiling. Remove from heat and let cool to room temperature. In medium bowl, combine fruit. Pour dressing over fruit mixture; toss lightly. Refrigerate 1 hour to blend flavors, tossing occasionally. Rum-Runner Chicken 2 teaspoons vegetable oil
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. In a large skillet, heat the oil over medium heat. Stir in the onions and garlic, and cook for 8 to 10 minutes, or until golden. Pour mixture into a 9 x 13-inch baking dish; pour the chicken broth over the onion mixture and place the chicken over the top. In a medium bowl, combine the rum, vinegar, brown sugar, cloves, cinnamon, ground red pepper, and salt; mix well to make a glaze. Brush half the glaze over the chicken, and bake for 30 minutes. Drizzle the remaining glaze over the chicken and bake for 40 to 45 minutes, or until no pink remains in the chicken and the juices run clear. Coffee Risotto 1 tablespoon instant coffee powder
Put the coffee and orange juice in a saucepan with 1/2 cup of water and bring to a boil. Remove from heat, add the rice and let soak for 5 minutes. Return the pan to heat and add the milk and vanilla extract. Cook over low heat until rice is tender, but still slightly firm to the bite. Remove from heat, add sugar, orange zest, butter, cream, and rum. Stir through gently and serve at once. Rum Balls 2 cups vanilla wafers, crushed
Mix ingredients together. Form into ball, roll in confectioner's sugar. Refrigerate. Avocado Ice Cream 2 large avocados, peeled, seeded, and sliced
Combine the avocados and 1 cup of the cream in the container of a blender or processor. Add the rum and process until smooth. Refrigerate for 2 hours. Beat the egg yolks with another cup of the cream. In a saucepan, combine the flour, sugar, and salt and whisk to blend thoroughly. Slowly whisk in the remaining 2 cups of cream and stir over medium heat until slightly thickened. Whisk half the hot mixture into the egg yolks. Pour the mixture back into the pan and stir over medium heat for 1 minute. Remove from the heat, stir in the vanilla, and chill for 2 hours. Combine the avocado mixture and the egg yolk mixture in the container of an ice cream machine and process according to the manufacturer's instructions.
Questions to offend almost everyone: Why is divorce so expensive? Because it's worth it Why is air a lot like sex? Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any What do you call a smart blonde? A golden retriever What do attorneys use for birth control? Their personalities What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife? 30 pounds What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband? 30 minutes Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking? Because those men already have boyfriends What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? After a year, the dog is still excited to see you What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? "Are you sure it's mine?" Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays? Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it Where does an Irish family go on vacation? A different bar What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other? A speech impediment. What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast? They're hiring What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo? A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with.. "a recipe" How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word? Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*! What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale? A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time.. - A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this but... The power mower was broken and wouldn't run, and a woman kept hinting to her husband that he should get it fixed. But, somehow the message never sank in. Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point. When her husband arrived home one day, he found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. He watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. He was gone only a few moments. When he came out again. He handed her a toothbrush. "When you finish cutting the grass," he said, "you might as well sweep the sidewalks." The doctors say he will probably walk again, but he will always limp. Some of the artists from the '60s are revising their hits with new lyrics to accommodate the aging baby boomers. They include: 1. Herman's Hermits--- Mrs. Brown, You've Got a Lovely Walker. 2. The Bee Gees--- How Can You Mend a Broken Hip. 3. Bobby Darin--- Splish, Splash, I Was Havin' a Flash. 4. Ringo Starr--- I Get By With a Little Help From Depends. 5. Roberta Flack--- The First Time Ever I Forgot Your Face. 6. Johnny Nash--- I Can't See Clearly Now. 7. Paul Simon--- Fifty Ways to Lose Your Liver 8. The Commodores--- Once, Twice, Three Times to the Bathroom. 9. Marvin Gaye--- Heard It Through the Grape Nuts. 10. Procol Harem--- A Whiter Shade of Hair. 11. Leo Sayer--- You Make Me Feel Like Napping. 12. The Temptations--- Papa's Got a Kidney Stone. 13. Abba--- Denture Queen. 14. Tony Orlando--- Knock 3 Times On The Ceiling If You Hear Me Fall. 15. Helen Reddy--- I Am Woman, Hear Me Snore. 16. Willie Nelson--- On the Commode Again 17. Leslie Gore--- It's My Procedure and I'll Cry If I Want To One day a fourth-grade teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came up -- fireman, mechanic, businessman, salesman, doctor, lawyer, and so forth. But little Justin was being uncharacteristically quiet, so when the teacher prodded him about his father, he replied, "My father's an exotic dancer in a gay cabaret and takes off all his clothes in front of other men and they put money in his underwear. Sometimes, if the offer is really good, he will go home with some guy and make love with him for money." The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other children to work on some exercises and then took little Justin aside to ask him, "Is that really true about your father?" "No," the boy said, "He works for the Democratic National Committee and is helping to secure the nomination of Hilary Clinton, but I was too embarrassed to say that in front of the other kids." Bear Hunting in Alaska The Pope took a couple of days off to visit Alaska. He was cruising along in the Pope Mobile when there was a frantic commotion just at the edge of the woods. A helpless Democrat, wearing sandals, shorts, a "Save the Whales" / "Bush Lied" T-shirt and a "Tree Hugger" hat, was screaming while struggling frantically, thrashing around trying to free himself from the jaws of a 10 foot grizzly. As the Pope watched horrified, a group of Republican loggers came racing up. One quickly fired a .44 magnum into the bear's chest. The other two reached up and pulled the bleeding semiconscious Democrat from the bear's grasp. Then using long clubs, the three loggers finished off the bear and two of them threw it onto the bed of their truck while the other tenderly placed the injured Democrat in the back seat. As they prepared to leave, the Pope summoned them to come over. "I give you my blessing for your brave actions!" he told them. "I heard there was a bitter hatred between Republican loggers and Democratic environmental activists, but now I've seen with my own eyes that this is not true." As the Pope drove off, one of the loggers asked his buddies "Who was that guy?" "It was the Pope", another replied, "He's in direct contact with God and has access to all God's wisdom." "Well," the logger said, "he may have access to all God's wisdom but he sure doesn't know anything about bear hunting!" "By the way, is the bait holding up or do we need to go back to town and grab another one?" New Senior Exercise Program! New exercise routine. If you're over 40, you might want to take it easy at first, then do it faster as you become more proficient. It may be too strenuous for some. Always consult your doctor before starting any exercise program! SCROLL DOWN...
NOW SCROLL UP..
And finally, Things to do when your co-worker is on vacation...
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