BHM Newsletter
Volume 9      Number 1

January 21, 2007
 

INSIDE BHM

Monkey-Fu

You've heard of Kung-Fu, but Monkey-Fu? That's the title of Claire Wolfe's new Hardyville series.

In Monkey-Fu: In the Mirror, Claire begins the story of how one family found its way to Hardyville. You'll meet Charlotte Carolina, son Tonio and daughter Jennifer, Congressman Ted "The Toad" O'Day, and the mysterious Qwai Ching Paine.

The series begins Monday, January 22, 2007. Future chapters appear each Monday and are linked from the BHM Home Page.

Deadline

Just got off deadline for the March/April issue. We sent it by FedEx it to our Wisconsin printer yesterday but had to delay sending my commentary until today because it required vetting by various people in the know about the facts. The commentary is about Matt Bandy, a 16-year-old boy who barely escaped doing 90 years in prison because his computer contained porn images, and Bradford Metcalf who is in his 8th year of a 40-year prison term for possessing illegal guns. The commentary will horrify you at the injustices committed by our government against these two, but you'll have to wait for the March/April issue to read about it.

New Book

Meanwhile BHM's newest book, Can America be saved from Stupid People, written by me, is selling well among our own readership, but we have not marketed it outside the magazine yet. PGW, the nation's largest distributor of independently published books, just filed for bankruptcy, taking a lot of small publishers down the drain with them. Glad we missed that boat, but we pretty much already decided we wouldn't go with a distributor but would market the book ourselves. To wit, BHM is offering newsletter readers autographed $15 copies. That offer had been on the website for several weeks, but has now ended. A little over 250 people took advantage of the website offer.

The Stupid People book is very good, with 59 essays broken up into 11 topics: Stupid people, Self-reliance, Life, Death, Love, Health, Freedom, Media, Terrorism and War, Guns and Crime, and Politics. You won't be disappointed, I guarantee. If you don't like it, send the book back and I'll refund your money.

To get the $4.95 discount, order the book in our General Store.When you are ready to check out, type the following discount code in the space where it says "Enter Coupon Code # here" -- NL0701DD and $4.95 will be deducted from your order. You may also use the code if you phone in or mail your order.

You must order at least the book to get the discount. One discount per order. This offer may not be combined with any other offer, coupon, or discount, however named. Offer expires February 20, 2007.

Snow Time

We had a rare snow on the Oregon coast a week ago. Reminded me of my days in New England. At the height of the storm, everything was real still and the snow must have been falling an inch every half hour. Surreal and magnificent! Here are some photos:

      — Dave

View from the porch of the yard and land behind the Duffy home

Jake and Rob trek back up the hill for another ride down.

Heading home. That's the Duffy house in the background.

SELF-RELIANCE TIPS

Cooking Safely in the Microwave Oven

Microwave ovens can play an important role at mealtime, but special care must be taken when cooking or reheating meat, poultry, fish, and eggs to make sure they are prepared safely. Microwave ovens can cook unevenly and leave "cold spots," where harmful bacteria can survive. For this reason, it is important to use the following safe microwaving tips to prevent foodborne illness.

Microwave Oven Cooking

• Arrange food items evenly in a covered dish and add some liquid if needed. Cover the dish with a lid or plastic wrap; loosen or vent the lid or wrap to let steam escape. The moist heat that is created will help destroy harmful bacteria and ensure uniform cooking. Cooking bags also provide safe, even cooking.
• Do not cook large cuts of meat on high power (100%). Large cuts of meat should be cooked on medium power (50%) for longer periods. This allows heat to reach the center without overcooking outer areas.

• Stir or rotate food midway through the microwaving time to eliminate cold spots where harmful bacteria can survive, and for more even cooking.
• When partially cooking food in the microwave oven to finish cooking on the grill or in a conventional oven, it is important to transfer the microwaved food to the other heat source immediately. Never partially cook food and store it for later use.
• Use a food thermometer or the oven’s temperature probe to verify the food has reached a safe minimum internal temperature. Cooking times may vary because ovens vary in power and efficiency. Always allow standing time, which completes the cooking, before checking the internal temperature with a food thermometer.
• Cook foods to the following safe minimum internal temperatures:

  • Beef, veal, and lamb steaks, roasts, and chops may be cooked to 145° F.
  • All cuts of pork to 160° F.
  • Ground beef, veal, and lamb to 160° F.
  • Egg dishes, casseroles to 160° F.
  • Leftovers to 165° F.
  • Stuffed poultry is not recommended. Cook stuffing separately to 165° F.
  • All poultry should reach a safe minimum internal temperature of 165° F.

• Cooking whole, stuffed poultry in a microwave oven is not recommended. The stuffing might not reach the temperature needed to destroy harmful bacteria.

• Remove food from packaging before defrosting. Do not use foam trays and plastic wraps because they are not heat stable at high temperatures. Melting or warping may cause harmful chemicals to migrate into food.
• Cook meat, poultry, egg casseroles, and fish immediately after defrosting in the microwave oven because some areas of the frozen food may begin to cook during the defrosting time. Do not hold partially cooked food to use later.
• Cover foods with a lid or a microwave-safe plastic wrap to hold in moisture and provide safe, even heating.
• Heat ready-to-eat foods such as hot dogs, luncheon meats, fully cooked ham, and leftovers until steaming hot.
• After reheating foods in the microwave oven, allow standing time. Then, use a clean food thermometer to check that food has reached 165° F.

• Use only cookware that is specially manufactured for use in the microwave oven. Glass, ceramic containers, and all plastics should be labeled for microwave oven use.
• Plastic storage containers such as margarine tubs, take-out containers, whipped topping bowls, and other one-time use containers should not be used in microwave ovens. These containers can warp or melt, possibly causing harmful chemicals to migrate into the food.
• Microwave plastic wraps, wax paper, cooking bags, parchment paper, and white microwave-safe paper towels should be safe to use. Do not let plastic wrap touch foods during microwaving.
• Never use thin plastic storage bags, brown paper or plastic grocery bags, newspapers, or aluminum foil in the microwave oven.

RECIPES

Hearty soups to keep you warm

Split pea soup

1 pound leeks
1/2 pound sliced bacon, chopped
2 cups peeled, diced celery root, or chopped celery
1/2 pound onion, chopped
1/4 cup chopped parsley
1 pound green split peas, cleaned and rinsed
1 quart chicken broth
1 pound kielbasa (Polish sausage), sliced into 1/2 inch thick rounds
Parsley sprigs
Pepper

Cut off and discard tough green tops, outer leaves, and root ends from leeks. Split leeks lengthwise and rinse well; slice thinly and set aside.

In a 5- to 6-quart pan over medium-high heat, cook bacon, stirring bacon until brown. Transfer bacon with a slotted spoon to paper towels; set aside. Discard all but 2 tablespoons fat fram pan. Add leeks, celery root, onion, and chopped parsley to the pan. Cook over medium heat, stirring often, until vegetables are limp, about 15 minutes.

Return bacon to pan with split peas, broth, and 1 quart water. Bring to a boil over high heat. Cover and simmer, stirring occasionally, until peas are mostly dissolved, about 90 minutes. Add kielbasa. Stir often until sausage is hot, about 10 minutes longer.

Serve hot or let cool, cover, and chill up to 3 days. Reheat, stirring often.

Ladle into bowls and garnish with parsley sprigs. Season to taste with pepper.

Makes 3 quarts or 6 to 8 servings.

She Crab Soup

3 Tablespoons olive oil
1 onion, diced
1 head celery, diced
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 cup sherry, plus additional for garnish
1/4 pound crab roe
1 bay leaf
1 quart shellfish stock
1/2 gallon milk
1 cup white rice
3 Tablespoons Worcestershire sauce
3 Tablespoons Crystal hot sauce
2 Tablespoons ground mace
1 pound jumbo lump crab meat
Salt and pepper

In a medium, heavy-bottom sauce pot, heat olive oil and sweat onions, garlic and celery, cooking until translucent. When vegetables are soft deglaze the pan with the sherry, add the crab roe, bay leaf, and shellfish stock, and bring to a slow simmer for 15 minutes.

Add the milk and simmer for another 15 minutes.

Add the rice while soup is at a slow simmer and cook the rice until it is soft. When the rice has softened add the hot sauce, Worcestershire sauce, and mace.

Remove bay leaf and carefully (it's hot!) puree mixture in blender or with a small hand-held immersion blender. When soup is smooth and thick, strain it through a fine sieve or china cap. Add in the crabmeat and season to taste with salt and pepper.

Ladle soup into bowls and garnish with additional sherry, some crumbled crab roe and more lump crab.

Makes about 10 servings.

Hot and Sour Soup

8 cups vegetable stock and/or water
1 ounce dried Chinese black mushrooms
3 Tablespoons dry sherry or rice wine
1/2 cup cider vinegar
2 Tablespoons soy sauce
1 3/4 teaspoons salt
1/4 pound firm tofu, thinly sliced
2 Tablespoons cornstarch
2 eggs, beaten
6 green onions, minced
1/4 teaspoon white pepper
sesame oil

In small bowl, pour 2 cups of boiling stock or water over dried mushrooms. Cover with plate and let sit 30 minutes. Drain and squeeze mushrooms, saving the liquid. De-stem mushrooms, discard stems, and slice caps.

Combine remaining 6 cups vegetable stock with mushroom liquid and mushrooms. Bring to a simmer.

Add sherry, soy sauce, salt, and tofu. Lower heat, and simmer 10 minutes.

In the bowl, whisk cornstarch into 3/4 cup soup until dissolved. Return this liquid to the soup.

Slowly pour the beaten eggs into the soup while stirring. Add green onions and pepper, cook another 2-3 minutes, and serve with a few drops of sesame oil on top of each serving.

Makes 6 to 8 servings.

Mutton Soup

8 lamb chops
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon black peppercorns, crushed
1 tablespoon oil
2 cups water
1 tablespoon parsley, chopped
1 bay leaf
1 teaspoon peppercorns
1/2 teaspoon thyme
1/2 teaspoon rosemary
1 pound potatoes, diced
2 cups cabbage, shredded
1 onion, chopped
1 leek rib, sliced
12 pearl onions
1 1/2 cups celery, sliced
1 1/2 cups peas

Season the lamb chops with salt and black peppers. Heat oil in a saucepan and brown on both sides of lamb chops. Remove lamb and place in a Dutch oven. Pour off any fat and deglaze saucepan by adding water.

Pour water over lamb in the Dutch oven and bring to a boil. Into a cheese cloth bag, place the chopped parsley, bay leaf, peppercorns, thyme, and rosemary. Tie the bag securely and add to the boiling water. Lower the heat and simmer covered for 20 minutes.

Add diced potatoes, shredded cabbage, chopped onion, sliced leek rib, pearl onions, and sliced celery. Simmer for 20 minutes or until meat and vegetables are tender, then add peas. Add more water if needed. Simmer for another 10 minutes.

Serve with crusty bread.
 

HUMOR

Only in Texas

Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons and proceeded to the check-out counter. The man at the counter asked the older boy, "Son, how old are you?" "Eight," the boy replied.

The man continued, "Do you know how these are used?"

The boy replied, "Not exactly, but they aren't for me. They are for my brother, he's four. We saw on TV that if you used these you would be able to swim and ride a bike and he can't do either one."

Big Rigs

Anyone who's spent time on the interstates knows how many big rigs move the products we all consume. Grateful as we are for them, instead of having to stare at dirty aluminum for hundreds of miles, wouldn't it be nice to share the road with trucks like these?

Here's something to think about when negative people are doing their best to rain on your parade. Remember this the next time someone who knows nothing and cares less makes your life miserable...

A New York woman was at her hairdresser's on Park Avenue getting her hair styled prior to a trip to Rome with her boyfriend. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded, "Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty and full of Italians. You're crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?"

"We're taking Continental," was the reply. "We got a great rate!"

"Continental?" exclaimed the hairdresser. "That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late. So, where are you staying in Rome?"

"We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome's left bank called Teste..."

"Don't go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks its gonna be something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump, the worst hotel in the city! The rooms are small, the service is surly and they're overpriced. So, whatcha doing when you get there?"

"We're going to go to see the Vatican and we hope to see the Pope."

"That's rich," laughed the hairdresser. "You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it."

A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo.

The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome.

"It was wonderful," explained the woman. "Not only were we on time in one of Continental's brand new planes, but it was overbooked and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot. And the hotel — it was great! They'd just finished a $5 million remodeling job and now it's a jewel, the finest hotel in the city. They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner's suite at no extra charge!"

"Well," muttered the hairdresser, "that's all well and good, but I know you didn't get to see the Pope."

"Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me. Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me."

"Oh, really...what'd he say?"

He said, "Where'd you get the lousy hairdo?"

The Friendly Lawyer

One afternoon, a wealthy lawyer was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two pathetic men eating grass by the roadside.

He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate. "Why are you eating grass?" he asked.

"We don't have no money for food," the first man replied.

"Oh, well, you can come with me to my house," insisted the lawyer.

"But, sir, I got a wife and three kids here."

"Bring them along!" replied the lawyer.

"But how 'bout my friend?"

The lawyer turned to the other man and said, "You come with us, too."

"But, sir," said the friend, "I got a wife and six kids!"

"Bring them as well!" answered the lawyer as he headed for his limo.

They all climbed into the car, and once underway, one of the poor fellows says: "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."

The lawyer replied, "Glad to do it. You'll love my place. The grass is almost a foot tall."

Never be afraid to say what you feel

OTHER STUFF

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Editor/Letters - Dave Duffy, editor@backwoodshome.com

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