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Volume 11      Number 7

July 31, 2009
 

INSIDE BHM

Lately we've had a marked increase in the number of article submissions we receive, including many from new-to-us authors. I think it reflects the general feeling in our country of hunkering down and making the best of our situation.

In keeping with that feeling, the September/October is full of practical, helpful articles:

Jackie Clay shows you how she's managed to live well, even in a bad economy, by gardening, canning, foraging, hunting, and thinking outside the box to lower other homestead expenses.

Claire Wolfe explains her unexpected response to tight finances: not-quite-communal living.

Popular firearms author Massad Ayoob offers his advice on getting ready for hunting season.

Matthew and Amanda Kemp give some tips on stalking and cooking an unusual prey: squirrels.

Jennifer Grahovac spreads self-reliant skills by teaching her stepdaughter and others how to can food, and her article shows how she set up an outdoor kitchen to accommodate her students and the huge quantity of food they process together.

John Baker also teaches a lesson in home food production with his article on making butter.

Steven Gregerson has a great article on picking that all-important homesteaders tool, a chainsaw.

J.E.Kuyper shows how he built his mobile chicken coop out of mostly salvaged materials.

Linda Slate has quick instructions on how to make an inexpensive chicken feeder.

John Silveira gives us his latest installment of "The Coming American Dictatorship" series which talks about the Tenth Amendment Movement.

New Books

In-between deadlines, we've been working on some new books.

First is the entire The Coming American Dictatorship series, including the most recent article. Readers have been asking us for a long time to collect the many articles into a book and now it's almost ready!

Next is Harvesting the Wild: Gathering & using food from nature, a mini-anthology that includes all of our articles on foraging and hunting for wild foods.

And perhaps the most anticipated addition is Jackie Clay's new book, Growing and Canning Your Own Food. It will be spiral bound, so reading recipes while your hands are busy with canning will be a cinch.

We anticipate all three will be available by the time you read our next newsletter...and we might even have a deal or two for our Newsletter readers.

Speaking of deals...

We've recently added over 30 new titles to the General Store Bookstore with new books in almost every category.

Visit the General Store Bookstore

If any of the new titles, or any others interest you, we're offering our Newsletter readers 10% off all books. You can select one, two ten or more, they're all 10% off.

After you add the books you want to your shopping cart, when you are viewing the contents of your cart, type the code NL0907B in the space where it says "Enter Coupon Code # here" and the cart will deduct ten percent from your entire order.

Please note that this discount is valid only on books and anthologies and the order may contain only books and/or anthologies. It may not be used for any subscription, special offer, or other purchase and may not be combined with any other discount or offer.

This offer will expire August 7th! Click Here for the Bookstore.

A little help, please

For next month's issue, we thought we'd include some unusual recipes. But then we wondered how to define "unusual." Then someone suggested we let our readers decide what was "unusual" and from there it was a small step to realizing the best way to do this was to ask you to send along your most unusual recipe.

Appetizer, entrée, side dish, dessert...whatever. It does not have to be 100% original but it does have to be something you've actually made and people enjoyed eating.

We'll publish a selection in the August issue and, if we get enough submissions, in other future issues.

Please include your name, city, and state so we can credit you with a "Contributed by..."

If you don't want all of that published, just let us know and we'll include only what you want in the credit.

Format: Please single-space the ingredient list and double space the directions. And please spell out measurements like "teaspoon" "cup" etc.

And don't forget to include a name for your dish!

If you already have a digital copy of it, just copy & paste into the body of an email. DO NOT send as an attachment. For security reasons, we do not open email attachments of any kind.

Send your unusual recipe to webmaster@backwoodshome.com Subject=August Recipe.

Thanks!

—Annie Tuttle


SELF-RELIANCE TIPS

Solar Water Heaters

The following is by no means comprehensive. But it should provide a good overview of solar hot water systems for those interested in possibly installing one.

Solar water heaters—also called solar domestic hot water systems—can be a cost-effective way to generate hot water for your home. They can be used in any climate, and the fuel they use—sunshine—is free.

How They Work

Solar water heating systems include storage tanks and solar collectors. There are two types of solar water heating systems: active, which have circulating pumps and controls, and passive, which don't.

Most solar water heaters require a well-insulated storage tank. Solar storage tanks have an additional outlet and inlet connected to and from the collector. In two-tank systems, the solar water heater preheats water before it enters the conventional water heater. In one-tank systems, the back-up heater is combined with the solar storage in one tank.

Three types of solar collectors are used for residential applications:

Flat-plate collector

Glazed flat-plate collectors are insulated, weatherproofed boxes that contain a dark absorber plate under one or more glass or plastic (polymer) covers. Unglazed flat-plate collectors—typically used for pool heating—have a dark absorber plate, made of metal or polymer, without a cover or enclosure.

Integral collector-storage systems

Also known as ICS or batch systems, they feature one or more black tanks or tubes in an insulated, glazed box. Cold water first passes through the solar collector, which preheats the water. The water then continues on to the conventional backup water heater, providing a reliable source of hot water. They should be installed only in mild-freeze climates because the outdoor pipes could freeze in severe, cold weather.

Illustration of an active, closed loop solar water heater. A large, flat panel called a flat plate collector is connected to a tank called a solar storage/backup water heater by two pipes. One of these pipes is runs through a cylindrical pump into the bottom of the tank, where it becomes a coil called a double-wall heat exchanger. This coil runs up through the tank and out again to the flat plate collector. Antifreeze fluid runs only through this collector loop. Two pipes run out the top of the water heater tank; one is a cold water supply into the tank, and the other sends hot water to the house. Evacuated-tube solar collectors

They feature parallel rows of transparent glass tubes. Each tube contains a glass outer tube and metal absorber tube attached to a fin. The fin's coating absorbs solar energy but inhibits radiative heat loss. These collectors are used more frequently for U.S. commercial applications.

There are two types of active solar water heating systems:

Direct circulation systems

Pumps circulate household water through the collectors and into the home. They work well in climates where it rarely freezes.

Indirect circulation systems

Pumps circulate a non-freezing, heat-transfer fluid through the collectors and a heat exchanger. This heats the water that then flows into the home. They are popular in climates prone to freezing temperatures.

Passive solar water heating systems are typically less expensive than active systems, but they're usually not as efficient. However, passive systems can be more reliable and may last longer. There are two basic types of passive systems:

Integral collector-storage passive systems

These work best in areas where temperatures rarely fall below freezing. They also work well in households with significant daytime and evening hot-water needs.

Thermosyphon systems

Illustration of a passive, batch solar water heater. Cold water enters a pipe and can either enter a solar storage/backup water heater tank or the batch collector, depending on which bypass valve is opened. If the valve to the batch collector is open, a vertical pipe (which also has a spigot drain valve for cold climates) carries the water up into the batch collector. The batch collector is a large box holding a tank and covered with a glaze that faces the sun. Water is heated in this tank, and another pipe takes the heated water from the batch collector into the solar storage/backup water heater, where it is then carried to the house.

Water flows through the system when warm water rises as cooler water sinks. The collector must be installed below the storage tank so that warm water will rise into the tank. These systems are reliable, but contractors must pay careful attention to the roof design because of the heavy storage tank. They are usually more expensive than integral collector-storage passive systems.

Solar water heating systems almost always require a backup system for cloudy days and times of increased demand. Conventional storage water heaters usually provide backup and may already be part of the solar system package. A backup system may also be part of the solar collector, such as rooftop tanks with thermosyphon systems. Since an integral-collector storage system already stores hot water in addition to collecting solar heat, it may be packaged with a demand (tankless or instantaneous) water heater for backup.

Selecting a Solar Water Heater

Before you purchase and install a solar water heating system, you want to do the following:

Consider the economics of a solar water heating system

Solar water heating systems usually cost more to purchase and install than conventional water heating systems. However, a solar water heater can usually save you money in the long run.

How much money you save depends on the following:

  • The amount of hot water you use
  • Your system's performance
  • Your geographic location and solar resource
  • Available financing and incentives
  • The cost of conventional fuels (natural gas, oil, and electricity)
  • The cost of the fuel you use for your backup water heating system, if you have one.

On average, if you install a solar water heater, your water heating bills should drop 50%–80%. Also, because the sun is free, you're protected from future fuel shortages and price hikes.

If you're building a new home or refinancing, the economics are even more attractive. Including the price of a solar water heater in a new 30-year mortgage usually amounts to between $13 and $20 per month. The federal income tax deduction for mortgage interest attributable to the solar system reduces that by about $3–$5 per month. So if your fuel savings are more than $15 per month, the solar investment is profitable immediately. On a monthly basis, you're saving more than you're paying.

Evaluate your site's solar resource

Before you buy and install a solar water heating system, you need to first consider your site's solar resource. The efficiency and design of a solar water heating system depends on how much of the sun's energy reaches your building site.

Solar water heating systems use both direct and diffuse solar radiation. Even if you don't live in a climate that's warm and sunny most of the time—like the southwestern United States—your site still might have an adequate solar resource. If your building site has unshaded areas and generally faces south, it's a good candidate for a solar water heating system.

Your local solar system supplier or installer can perform a solar site analysis.

Determine the correct system size

Sizing your solar water heating system basically involves determining the total collector area and the storage volume you'll need to meet 90%–100% of your household's hot water needs during the summer. Solar system contractors use worksheets and computer programs to help determine system requirements and collector sizing.

  • Collector Area
  • Contractors usually follow a guideline of around 20 square feet (2 square meters) of collector area for each of the first two family members. For every additional person, add 8 square feet (0.7 square meters) if you live in the U.S. Sun Belt area or 12–14 square feet if you live in the northern United States.

  • Storage Volume
  • A small (50- to 60-gallon) storage tank is usually sufficient for one to two people. A medium (80-gallon) storage tank works well for three to four people. A large tank is appropriate for four to six people.

    For active systems, the size of the solar storage tank increases with the size of the collector—typically 1.5 gallons per square foot of collector. This helps prevent the system from overheating when the demand for hot water is low. In very warm, sunny climates, some experts suggest that the ratio should be increased to as much as 2 gallons of storage to 1 square foot of collector area.

Determine the system's energy efficiency

For a solar water heating system, use the solar energy factor (SEF) and solar fraction (SF) to determine its energy efficiency.

The solar energy factor is defined as the energy delivered by the system divided by the electrical or gas energy put into the system. The higher the number, the more energy efficient. Solar energy factors range from 1.0 to 11. Systems with solar energy factors of 2 or 3 are the most common.

Another solar water heater performance metric is the solar fraction. The solar fraction is the portion of the total conventional hot water heating load (delivered energy and tank standby losses). The higher the solar fraction, the greater the solar contribution to water heating, which reduces the energy required by the backup water heater. The solar fraction varies from 0 to 1.0. Typical solar factors are 0.5–0.75.

Don't choose a solar water heating system based solely on its energy efficiency. When selecting a solar water heater, it's also important to consider size and overall cost.

Calculating Annual Operating Cost

Before purchasing a solar water heating system, you can estimate its annual operating cost and compare it with other more and/or less efficient systems. This will help you determine the energy savings and payback period of investing in a more energy-efficient system, which will probably have a higher purchase price.

Before you can choose and compare the costs of various systems, you need to know the system size required for your home. (see above)

To estimate the annual operating cost of a solar water heating system, you need the following:

  • The system's solar energy factor (SEF)
  • The auxiliary tank fuel type (gas or electric) and costs (your local utility can provide current rates).

Then, use the following calculations.

With a gas auxiliary tank system:

You need to know the unit cost of fuel by Btu (British thermal unit) or therm. (1 therm = 100,000 Btu)

365 × 41,045/SEF × Fuel Cost (Btu) = estimated annual cost of operation

OR

365 × 0.4105/SEF × Fuel Cost (therm) = estimated annual operating cost

Example: Assuming the SEF is 1.1 and the gas costs $1.10/therm

365 × 0.4105/1.1 × $1.10 = $149.83

With an electric auxiliary tank system:

You need to know or convert the unit cost of electricity by kilowatt-hour (kWh).

365 × 12.03/SEF × Electricity Cost (kWh)= estimated annual operating cost

Example: Assuming the SEF is 2.0 and the electricity costs $0.08/kWh

365 X 12.03/2.0 X $0.08 = $175.64

Comparing Costs and Determining Payback

Once you know the purchase and annual operating costs of the solar water heating systems you want to compare, you can find the costs associated with conventional water heating systems and compare the two.

Use the table and calculations below to compare two solar water heating systems and determine the cost savings and payback of the more energy-efficient system model.

System Models System Price SEF Estimated Annual Operating Cost
System Model A      
System Model B (higher SEF)      
Additional cost of more efficient system model
(Model B)
    Price of System Model B - Price of System Model A = $Additional Cost of Model B
Estimated annual operating cost savings (System Model B)     System Model B Annual Operating Cost - System Model A Annual Operating Cost = $Model B's Cost Savings Per Year
Payback period for Model B     $Additional Cost of Model B/$Model B's Cost Savings Per Year = Payback period/years

Example:

Comparison of two solar water heating system models with electric backup systems and electricity costs of $0.08/kWh.

System Models System Price SEF Estimated Annual Operating Cost
System Model A $1,060 2.0 $176
System Model B $1,145 2.9 $121
Additional cost of more efficient model
(Model B)
    $1,145-$1,060 = $85
Estimated annual operating cost savings (Model B)     $176-$120 = $56 per year
Payback period for Model B     $85/$56 per year = 1.5 years
Other Costs

When comparing solar water heating systems, you should also consider installation and maintenance costs. Some systems might cost more to install and maintain.

Consult the manufacturer(s) and a qualified contractor to help estimate these costs. These costs will vary among system types and sometimes even from model to model.

Also, be sure to investigate local codes, covenants, and regulations.

Siting Your Solar Water Heating System's Collector

Diagram showing the sun's path in the sky. The diagram shows the east to west paths of the sun on June 21 and December 21 and how they can affect the sun that reaches a solar heating system. On June 21, the sun is more directly overhead than on December 21, when the path of the sun tends more toward the south.
Geographic orientation and collector tilt can affect the amount of solar radiation your system receives.

Both the orientation and tilt of the collector will affect your solar water heating system's performance. Your contractor should consider both factors while evaluating your site's solar resource and sizing your system.

Collector Orientation

Solar hot water collectors should be oriented geographically to maximize the amount of daily and seasonal solar energy that they receive. In general, the optimum orientation for a solar collector in the northern hemisphere is true south. However, recent studies have shown that, depending on your location and collector tilt, your collector can face up to 90º east or west of true south without significantly decreasing its performance.

Illustration showing solar collector orientation. A house with a solar panel on the south side of the roof has the solar panel placed at an angle that is equal to the latitude.

You'll also want to consider factors such as roof orientation (if you plan to mount the collector on your roof), local landscape features that shade the collector daily or seasonally, and local weather conditions (foggy mornings or cloudy afternoons), as these factors may affect your collector's optimal orientation.

Collector Tilt

Today, most solar water heating collectors are mounted flat on the roof. This is more aesthetically pleasing than rack-mounted collectors, which stick up from the roof at odd angles. Thus, most collectors have the same tilt as the roof.

Although the optimal tilt angle for your collector is an angle equal to your latitude, fixing your collector flat on an angled roof will not result in a big decrease in system performance. You will, however, want to take roof angle into account when sizing your system.

Installing and Maintaining the System

The proper installation of solar water heaters depends on many factors. These factors include solar resource, climate, local building code requirements, and safety issues; therefore, it's best to have a qualified, solar thermal systems contractor install your system.

After installation, properly maintaining your system will keep it running smoothly. Passive systems don't require much maintenance. For active systems, discuss the maintenance requirements with your system provider, and consult the system's owner's manual. Plumbing and other conventional water heating components require the same maintenance as conventional systems. Glazing may need to be cleaned in dry climates where rainwater doesn't provide a natural rinse.

Regular maintenance on simple systems can be as infrequent as every 3–5 years, preferably by a solar contractor. Systems with electrical components usually require a replacement part after or two after 10 years.

When screening potential contractors for installation and/or maintenance, ask the following questions:

  • Does your company have experience installing and maintaining solar water heating systems?
    Choose a company that has experience installing the type of system you want and servicing the applications you select.

  • How many years of experience does your company have with solar heating installation and maintenance?
    The more experience the better. Request a list of past customers who can provide references.

  • Is your company licensed or certified?
    Having a valid plumber's and/or solar contractor's license is required in some states. Contact your city and county for more information. Confirm licensing with your state's contractor licensing board. The licensing board can also tell you about any complaints against state-licensed contractors.

RECIPES

Summer Fruits

For many of us, the best thing about summer is the fresh, ripe fruit., which is why we decided this month we'd feature some fresh fruit recipes.

Enjoy!

Fruit Pizza

1 (18 ounce) package refrigerated sugar cookie dough
1 (8 ounce) package cream cheese, softened
1 (8 ounce) container frozen whipped topping, thawed

2 cups sliced fresh strawberries
Other sliced fruits of your choice

1/2 cup white sugar
1 pinch salt
1 tablespoon cornstarch
1/2 cup orange juice
2 tablespoons lemon juice
1/4 cup water
1/2 teaspoon orange zest

Preheat oven to 350 degrees° F. Slice cookie dough and arrange on greased pizza pan, overlapping edges. Press dough flat into pan. Bake for 10 to 12 minutes. Allow to cool.

In a large bowl, soften cream cheese, then fold in the whipped topping. Spread over cooled crust. You can chill for a while at this point, or continue by arranging the fruit.

Begin with strawberries, sliced in half. Arrange in a circle around the outside edge. Continue with fruits of your choice, working towards the middle. If bananas are used, dip them in lemon juice so they don't darken. Then make a sauce to spoon over fruit.

In a saucepan, combine sugar, salt, corn starch, orange juice, lemon juice and water. Cook and stir over medium heat. Bring to a boil, and cook for 1 or 2 minutes, until thickened. Remove from heat, and add grated orange rind. Allow to cool, but not set up. Spoon over fruit. Chill for two hours, then cut into wedges and serve.


Apricot Fritters

12 small apricots
12 whole almonds
2 Tablespoons white rum
1/2 cup unbleached all-purpose flour
1/2 cup cornstarch
3 Tablespoons sugar
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 cup water plus 1 Tablespoon water
3 Tablespoons melted butter
1-1/2 quarts vegetable oil for frying
Confectioners' sugar for dusting

Preheat oil in a deep-fryer or heavy deep 4-quart saucepan to 350° F.

Slit each apricot along the cleft just enough to remove the pit, leaving the apricots whole. Replace each pit with a whole almond and place in a large bowl with the slit side up. Sprinkle the slits with rum.

To make batter, whisk together flour, cornstarch, sugar, salt, cinnamon, and baking powder until combined. Whisk in the water, then the melted butter.

Dip apricots one at a time into the batter and fry 6 to 7 minutes, turning to brown both sides, until golden. Do this in batches of 3 to 4 apricots at a time so they are not crowded. Drain on paper towels and keep warm until all are done.

Just before serving, dust generously with confectioners' sugar.


Plum and Apricot Cobbler

8 fresh plums
8 fresh apricots
1/2 cup plus 3 Tablespoons sugar (divided)
2 Tablespoons instant tapioca
1 cup flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
Pinch of kosher salt
6 Tablespoons (3/4 stick) cold unsalted butter
1/4 cup whipping cream

Preparation:
Preheat oven to 400 degrees F.

Cut plums into quarters, then cut each quarter in half crosswise. Cut apricots same way. Put fruit in 2-1/2-quart shallow earthenware baking dish. Sprinkle on 1/2 cup of sugar. Grind tapioca in food processor until fine, then sprinkle it over plums. Toss to coat fruit. Set aside.

Put flour, baking powder, salt and 2 tablespoons of remaining sugar in food processor. Cut butter into 6 pieces and add it on top of dry ingredients. Process until butter is in pea-size pieces. Add cream and process until dough is soft and crumbly. Take dough out and press it together with your hands.

On lightly floured surface roll dough out to inside dimension of your baking dish. Lift it with your fingers spread wide underneath and place it over fruit. Tuck in any edges that stick out; dough doesn't have to lie smooth. Brush top with water and sprinkle on remaining 1 tablespoon sugar. Make 4 slashes in dough to allow steam to escape.

Put cobbler in oven and immediately turn temperature down to 350 degrees F. Bake until top is firm and lightly browned and fruit is bubbling around edges, about 35 minutes.

Serve warm or at room temperature, plain or with lightly whipped unsweetened cream or vanilla ice cream.


Plum Torte

1/4 pound (1 stick) unsalted butter, softened
3/4 cup plus 1 or 2 tablespoons sugar
1 cup unbleached flour, sifted
1 teaspoon baking powder
2 eggs
Pinch salt
24 halves pitted Italian (prune or purple) plums
1 teaspoon cinnamon or more, to taste

Arrange a rack in the lower third of the oven. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.

Cream the butter and the 3/4 cup of sugar. Add the flour, baking powder, eggs, and salt and beat to mix well. Spoon the batter into an ungreased 9- or 10-inch springform pan. Cover the top with the plums, skin sides down. Mix the cinnamon with the remaining 1 or 2 tablespoons of sugar and sprinkle over the top.

Bake for 40 to 50 minutes, until a cake tester inserted in the center comes out clean. Remove from the oven and let cool; refrigerate or freeze if desired.

To serve, let the torte return to room temperature and reheat at 300 degrees until warm, if desired. Serve plain or with vanilla ice cream.


Polenta Waffles with Berries

1-3/4 cups unbleached all-purpose flour
1/4 cup polenta
1/4 teaspoon salt (rounded measure)
2-1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1 Tablespoon sugar
3 large eggs
1-1/2 cups milk
4 Tablespoons (half a stick) unsalted butter, melted
2 cups berries (any kind)
Nonstick spray
Butter for the waffle iron
Berries for topping (optional)

Preheat the waffle iron.

Combine the flour, polenta, salt, baking powder, and sugar in a medium-sized bowl.

Break the eggs into a second medium-sized bowl and beat with a whisk until frothy. Drizzle in the milk.

Add the egg-milk mixture to the dry ingredients, along with the melted butter and the berries. Mix with decisive strokes from the bottom of the bowl until all the dry ingredients have been moistened. Try not to over-mix, and also try to avoid breaking the berries. You'll break some anyway, but just do your best.

Lightly spray the hot waffle iron on both the top and bottom surfaces with nonstick spray, and rub on a little butter. (This is most easily accomplished by generously buttering a chunk of bread and using it as an edible utensil to butter the waffle iron.) Add just enough batter to cover the cooking surface--approximately 1/2 cup for a standard waffle (1 cup for a Belgian waffle).

Cook for 2 to 3 minutes, depending on your waffle iron. Don't overbake -- you want it crisp and brown but not too dark. It's okay to peek.

Serve hot with your favorite toppings.

HUMOR

Never Lie to your mother

A college student invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how beautiful his roommate Julie was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between him and Julie, and this made her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between him and Julie than met the eye.

Reading his mother's thoughts, he volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Julie and are just roommates."

About a week later, Julie came to him and said, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I can't find the beautiful silver tray. You don't suppose she took it do you?"

He replied, "Well I doubt it, but I'll write her a letter just to be sure."

So he sat down and wrote:

Dear Mother:

I'm not saying you "did" take a silver tray from my house, and I'm not saying you "did not" take a silver tray. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.

Love Your Son

Several days later, he received a letter from his mother which read:

Dear Son:

I'm not saying that you "do" sleep with Julie, and I'm not saying that you "do not" sleep with Julie. But the fact remains that if Julie was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the silver tray by now.

Love, Mom



The Obvious Answers Quiz
(Passing grade - 40%)

1) How long did the Hundred Years War last?

2) Which country makes Panama hats?

3) From which animal do we get catgut?

4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?

5) What is a camel's hair brush made of?

6) The Canary Islands are named after what animal?

7) What was King George VI's first name?

8) What color is a purple finch?

9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from?

10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane?

[Answers at the end of the Humor section]


Redneck Horseshoes



DEFINITIONS BY GENDER...

THINGY:
Female Any part under a car's hood.
Male: The strap fastener on a woman's bra.

VULNERABLE:
Female Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
Male: Playing football without a helmet.

COMMUNICATION:
Female The sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
Male: Leaving a note before suddenly taking off for a week-end with the boys.

BUTT:
Female The body part that "looks bigger" no matter what is worn.
Male: What you slap when someone scores a touchdown, home run, or goal. Also good for mooning.

COMMITMENT:
Female A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male: Trying not to pick up other women while out with girlfriend.

ENTERTAINMENT:
Female A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male: Anything that can be done while drinking.

FLATULENCE:
Female An embarrassing by-product of digestion.
Male: An endless source of entertainment, self-expression and male bonding.



Former President Clinton walked into a Hillary in 2012 strategy meeting with a pair of ladies panties on his arm.

Although everyone wondered what was going on, nobody could muster the nerve to ask about it.

Finally, after about an hour of puzzlement, a young intern came in to refresh the coffee and water pitchers, noticed the oddity, and, too naive to be worried, asked him what the deal was with the panties.

Clinton replied: "It's the patch, darlin'. I'm trying to quit."


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QUIZ ANSWERS

1) How long did the Hundred Years War last? 116 years
2) Which country makes Panama hats? Ecuador
3) >From which animal do we get cat gut? Sheep and Horses
4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution? November
5) What is a camel's hair brush made of? Squirrel fur
6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal? Dogs
7) What was King George VI's first name? Albert
8) What color is a purple finch? Crimson
9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from? New Zealand
10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane? Orange, of course

Bonus

We believe in aiming high in life, so for those of you who simply love gardening, especially those of you inclined to try your hand at topiary, we thought we'd give you something for which to aim really, really high!


 

OTHER STUFF

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