BHM Newsletter
Volume 11      Number 11

November, 2009
 

INSIDE BHM

One issue goes out the door and another bunch of ideas for articles seems to appear in my head. Always the future articles are more important than what has gone before. The future seems perpetually in need of salvaging by a few insightful articles. So by nature I'm scanning the horizon for ideas.

The other day John Silveira began working on an in-depth economic article that will contrast America's current economic situation with that of Germany after World War I. It's an effort to predict America's future. The insurmountable indebtedness of post WWI Germany, coupled with 30% unemployment, led to hyperinflation, then the rise of Adolph Hitler, and finally World War II. America now has potentially insurmountable debt, "actual" unemployment near 20%, and likely high inflation just around the corner. His article will explore the nitty gritty of economic similarities and assess the chances that a dictator, then a war, are in America's future.

Meanwhile I'll be working with other writers on the how-to articles that are the staple of BHM. Those articles tend to mollify my paranoia about the future because they are so full of ways we can control it, or at least shield us from its consequences. We're always trying to keep readers abreast of what I see as future dangers and escape routes. Silveira's article will require a lot of research and perspective, but it will no doubt be worth reading.

Meanwhile, while you're waiting, we have some specials to offer you...

Holiday Specials

A number of people missed out on last month's offer of 20% off Jackie Clay's new book. Some didn't read their newsletter in time and others mis-applied the discount code. So we thought we'd repeat the offer for those who missed out as well as for those who've already received the book and discovered it would make a great holiday gift for some people they know.

We're also adding our own Backwoods Home Cooking to the offer, so you'll have two great books to choose from or to order together!

And this time, there are no special codes. Instead, we have a special order page that is not available from the website. You MUST click on the link below in order to get to the page and take advantage of the 20% discounts.

You can order just Jackie's book or just the cookbook or you can order both. And you can order multiple copies of either or both by changing the quantity when you are viewing your Shopping Cart.

This year, make your holiday gift budget really count. Give yourself an others a gift that will be used for years to come.

Here is the special link: Click Here for the BHM Holiday Books Special Offer

Happy Holidays!

--Dave

SELF-RELIANCE TIPS

Insulation & Air Sealing

You can reduce your home's heating and cooling costs by as much as 30 percent through proper insulation and air sealing techniques. These techniques will also make your home more comfortable. Reducing your home heating and cooling bills begins with conducting a home energy audit to assess where your home may be losing energy through air leaks or inadequate insulation.

• Remember that new windows must be installed correctly to avoid air leaks around the frame. Look for a reputable, qualified installer.
• In temperate climates with both heating and cooling seasons, select windows with both low U-values and low solar heat gain coefficiency (SHGC) to maximize energy benefits.
• In temperate climates with both heating and cooling seasons, select windows with both low U-values and low solar heat gain coefficiency (SHGC) to maximize energy benefits.
• Select windows with air leakage ratings of 0.3 cubic feet per minute or less.
• Remember, the lower the U-value, the better the insulation. In colder climates, a U-value of 0.35 or below is recommended. These windows have at least double glazing and a low-e coating.
• When you're shopping for new windows, look for the National Fenestration Rating Council label; it means the window's performance is certified.
• Installing new, high-performance windows will improve your home's energy performance. While it may take many years for new windows to pay off in energy savings, the benefits of added comfort and improved aesthetics and functionality may make the investment worth it to you.
• Apply sun-control or other reflective films on south-facing windows to reduce solar gain.
• Install awnings on south- and west-facing windows.
• Close curtains on south- and west-facing windows during the day.
• Install white window shades, drapes, or blinds to reflect heat away from the house.
• Repair and weatherize your current storm windows, if necessary.
• Install exterior or interior storm windows; storm windows can reduce heat loss through the windows by 25% to 50%. Storm windows should have weatherstripping at all moveable joints; be made of strong, durable materials; and have interlocking or overlapping joints. Low-e storm windows save even more energy.
• Keep windows on the south side of your house clean to let in the winter sun.
• Close your curtains and shades at night; open them during the day.
• Install tight-fitting, insulating window shades on windows that feel drafty after weatherizing.
• You can use a heavy-duty, clear plastic sheet on a frame or tape clear plastic film to the inside of your window frames during the cold winter months. Remember, the plastic must be sealed tightly to the frame to help reduce infiltration.
• Conduct an energy audit of your home to find air leaks and to check for the proper level of insulation. Common sources of air leaks include cracks around windows and doors, gaps along baseboard, mail chutes, cracks in brick, siding, stucco or foundation, or where any external lines (phone, cable, electric, and gas) enter the home.
• To test for air leaks on your own, on a windy day, hold a lit candle next to windows, doors, electrical outlets, or light fixtures to test for leaks. Also, tape clear plastic sheeting to the inside of your window frames if drafts, water condensation, or frost are present.
• Plug air leaks with caulking, sealing, or weather stripping to save 10 percent or more on your energy bill.
• Adequate insulation in your attic, ceilings, exterior and basement walls, floors, and crawlspaces, as recommended for your geographical area, can save you up to 30 percent on home energy bills.
• Installing storm windows over single-pane windows or replacing them with Energy Star® windows can reduce heat loss from air leakage, and reflect heat back into the room during the winter months to save even more energy.
• In cold climates, Energy Star® windows can reduce your heating bills by 30 to 40 percent compared to uncoated, single-pane windows, according to the Efficient Windows Collaborative.
• Close fireplace dampers when not in use. A chimney is designed for smoke to escape, so until you close it, warm air escapes.

COMMENTARY

Here we are, smack in the middle of the holiday season. Many of us have spent lots of money or will soon spend lots of money on gifts for those we love. And when the season is over, many of us will shake our heads at how much money we spent.

But no matter how much we spend, it will pale in comparison to what our "leaders" in Washington spend every single day. So, thanks to an email we recently received, we thought we'd show you what the money they spend really looks like.

What does that look like? The president and congress toss around these numbers like so many doggie treats,

Let's try to get a sense of what all that money looks like.

We'll start with a $100 dollar bill. Currently the largest U.S. denomination in general circulation.

A packet of one hundred $100 bills is less than 1/2" thick and contains $10,000.

Fits in your pocket easily and is more than enough for a week or two of shamefully decadent fun.

And for some, it approximates their annual income!

Believe it or not, this next little pile is $1 million dollars (100 packets of $10,000).

You could stuff that into a grocery bag and walk around with it. Of course, with the cost of food these days, walking around with a grocery bag might get you mugged in some places.

While that measly $1 million looks a little unimpressive sitting on the floor next to that guy, $100 million is a little more respectable. Still, it fits neatly on a standard pallet.

Here is $1 BILLION dollars...chump change to some lawmakers.

What is a trillion dollars? Well, it's a million million. It's a thousand billion. It's a one followed by 12 zeros.

Ladies and gentlemen...$1 trillion dollars...

Notice those pallets are double stacked...and remember those are $100 bills.

So the next time you hear someone toss around the phrase trillion dollars... that's what they're talking about.

And finally, here is the approximate U.S. National Debt of 11 Trillion dollars in $100 dollar bills.

RECIPES

Holiday Breads

Holiday Bambino Bread

Looking for something special to make this Christmas? Try this bread recipe, shaped to resemble a child in swaddling clothes

2 cups lukewarm milk
2 packages active dry yeast
¼ cup sugar
1 beaten egg
¼ cup (1/2 stick) butter, melted
2 teaspoons salt
5¾ to 6½ cups of all-purpose flour

In a medium-sized bowl, sprinkle yeast over milk and stir to dissolve. Let stand for 5 minutes to develop.

Add in sugar, egg, butter, and salt and mix well. One cup at a time, add 5 cups of flour and beat thoroughly after each addition until flour is incorporated. Add enough of remaining flour to make a soft dough that is slightly sticky.

Turn out onto a lightly floured surface and knead, adding small amounts of flour as necessary to keep dough manageable. Knead for 6 to 8 minutes, until dough is smooth and satiny.

Lightly oil the surface of the dough and place it back into rinsed bowl and cover with a clean, dry towel. Allow to rise in a warm place free from drafts until doubled, about 60 minutes.

Punch dough down and divide in half (one for each bread).

Roll each half of the dough into a rope about 24 inches long, and form the braid as illustrated below.

Place on a lightly greased baking sheet; cover with a clean, dry towel and let rise for 30 minutes or until doubled.

Bake at 350° for 25 to 30 minutes.

Povitica

This is a traditional Polish sweet Christmas bread.

For Sweet Dough:

1 1/2 cups lukewarm milk
1/2 cup sugar
2 teaspoons salt
2 eggs
1/4 cup soft butter
2 packages fleischmann active dry yeast
1/2 cup water
7 1/2-8 cups flour

For Filling:

1 can evaporated milk
1 1/2 cups sugar
1 cup margarine
1 1/2 lbs pecans or walnuts (ground fine)
4 eggs
1 pinch salt
1 teaspoon cocoa
1 teaspoon cinnamon

Sweet Dough preparation:

Combine warm milk, sugar, salt, softened butter, and beaten eggs.

Dissolve yeast in warm water and add to other ingredients.

Add half of flour, mix well until smooth.

Add flour to handle easily.

Knead dough on lightly floured board.

Put dough in greased bowl, cover and place in warm, draft free place until doubled in size.

Punch down and let double again.

Divide dough in three parts.

Roll each part until very thin in rectangular shape.

Spread filling and roll into a log. Or roll and twist in circular shape like a snail or cinnamon roll.

Place in greased 8” or 9” cake pans. Cover, put in warm place and let rise.

Bake at 350 degrees for 30 – 45 minutes.

Makes three loaves.

Filling preparation:

In heavy pan, over medium heat, combine sugar, milk and margarine and heat. Add nuts, then beaten eggs and mix well. Boil one minute stirring constantly.

Remove from heat, add pinch of salt, cocoa and cinnamon and mix well.

Let cool till just warm enough to spread.

Cranberry Pumpkin Bread

2 eggs, beaten slightly
2 cups sugar
1/2 cup vegetable oil
1 cup canned pumpkin
2 1/4 cups flour
1 cup chopped cranberries
1 tablespoon pumpkin pie spice
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Combine eggs, sugar, vegetable oil, and pumpkin, mixing well.

Combine flour, pumpkin pie spice, baking soda, and salt in a large bowl. Make a well in the center of the batter and add the pumpkin. Stir in cranberries.

Spoon batter into 2 greased and floured loaf pans. Bake for 1 hour.

Ricotta Holiday Bread

This holiday bread has a creamy filling of ricotta with cranberies and pecans with a citrus flavor. Good with coffee or hot cocoa during the holidays.

Dough:

1/2 cup milk, heated to 100 degrees F
1 cup sugar
3 3/4 tsp active dry yeast
5 cups flour
4 eggs
zest of 1 lemon
zest of 1 orange
2 tsp vanilla extract
6 oz butter, softened

Filling:

1 1/4 cup ricotta
1/2 cup pecans
1/4 cup dry cranberries
1/4 cup sugar
1 tsp vanilla extract

Combine milk, sugar, and yeast to dissolve. Allow to proof.

In a small bowl mix eggs, lemon zest, orange zest, and vanilla. Mix well to combine.

Place the flour in a mixing bowl.Using a paddle attachment, over low speed, slowly add the yeast mixture. Then add the egg mixture, and lastly the butter. Continue to beat 2 more minutes to form an elastic dough. Cover the dough and let rise until double in size, about 1 hour.

Butter and flour a bundt pan or a tube pan.

For the filling mix all ingredients in a bowl, and reserve.

Roll out the dough into a 1/4 inch thick rectangle, about 16 inches wide and 20 inches long. Spread the filling throughout the surface. Roll the dough into a log and place inside the prepared pan. Let rise until double in size.

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.

Bake for 45 to 55 minutes or until browned and done. Leave to cool in the pan for 10 minutes , then invert it on a wire rack.

Serve warm with butter.

Braided Christmas Bread

This cinnamon braid makes a big beautiful centerpiece for a holiday brunch or Christmas Open House, or make two from this recipe to give as gifts this holiday season.

Dough:

1/2 cup warm water
2 pkg active dry yeast (4 teaspoons total)
1 1/2 cups lukewarm milk
1/2 cup sugar
2 teaspoons salt
2 eggs, lightly beaten
1/2 cup vegetable shortening
7-7 1/2 cups flour

Cinnamon Filling:

soft butter
soft brown sugar
cinnamon
raisins, chopped nuts, candied citron (optional)

Icing:

Powdered sugar
Milk

Decoration:

Red and green candied cherries

Dissolve yeast in warm water; add milk, sugar, salt, eggs, shortening and enough flour to make a stiff dough. The amount of flour will depend on the humidity in the air: if it is very dry, you will need to add the lesser amount of flour. If it is fairly humid, it will require more flour.

Mix well until dough handles easily.

Turn onto a lightly floured board and knead until smooth and elastic, about 10 minutes.

Round up in a greased bowl, cover, and let rise in a place free of drafts. Rising time is dependent on air temperature where the dough is rising: the warmer it is, the faster it will rise. If it rises too quickly, the dough will taste yeasty and may yield an uneven product.

If making one large braid, divide dough in three equal parts. For two braids, divide in half, then each half into three parts.

Roll each third into a 9x13 rectangle, spread with soft butter, sprinkle with brown sugar, cinnamon and raisins/nuts/citron, according to your taste.

Roll up each rectangle, starting on the long edge, into a long rope and pinch the edges to seal.

On a large cookie sheet, pinch the ends of the three ropes together and braid.

Cover and let rise until double, about 30 minutes.

Bake at 400 degrees until lightly browned, about 25 minutes.

Make a powdered sugar icing by mixing 1/2 cup sifted powdered sugar with 1-2 teaspoons milk. You will need to experiment to get the right consistency.

After bread has cooled completely, transfer it to a platter or, if you plan to give it away, to a sturdy piece of cardboard that has been covered with aluminum foil.

Drizzle the powdered sugar icing down the center of the braid, filling in the crevices and letting it run down the sides.

Snip green cherries into quarters and red cherries in half. Arrange them on the icing with a round red cherry half and 2 pieces of green cherry to look like holly berries and leaves on snow.

Bread can be covered with clear plastic wrap after icing has set.

Julekage

1 package active dry yeast, about 1/4-ounce
1/4 cup warm water, 105 to 115 degrees
3 1/4 to 3 3/4 cups all-purpose flour
3/4 cup milk
1/2 cup chopped mixed candied fruit
3/4 cup golden raisins
1/3 cup chopped almonds
1/3 cup granulated sugar
1/4 cup butter, room temperature
1 egg
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon ground cardamom
1 teaspoon finely grated lemon peel
.
Topping:

1 cup confectioners' sugar
1 to 2 tablespoons milk
candied red and green cherries

Preparation:
In a large bowl, dissolve yeast in warm water. Add 2 cups of the flour, milk, the candied fruit and raisins, chopped almonds, sugar, 1/4 cup butter, egg, salt, cardamom and lemon peel. Beat at medium speed of electric mixer, scraping bowl often, until batter is smooth. With wooden spoon, stir in enough remaining flour to make a soft, easy to handle dough.

Turn dough onto lightly floured surface; knead until smooth and elastic, about 5 minutes, adding a little more flour while kneading if dough is too sticky. Place in greased bowl; turn greased-side up. Cover and let rise in warm place until double in size, about 1 1/2 hours. An indentation will not spring back when pressed with finger.

Punch down dough; shape into round loaf. Place in greased 9-inch round cake pan. Brush top of dough with melted butter. Cover and let rise until double in size, about 1 hour.

Preheat oven to 350°. Bake for 35 to 45 minutes, or until golden brown. Loaf should sound hollow when tapped lightly. Remove from pan immediately and cool completely on rack.

In a small bowl, stir together confectioners' sugar and enough milk to make a glaze. Spread over bread. Garnish with candied cherries.

HUMOR

Oh, The Wonder Of The English Language!

This month, we have lots of word play for you you ponder and enjoy.

Reasons why the English language is so hard to learn:

1. The bandage was wound around the wound.

2. The farm was used to produce produce.

3. The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4. We must polish the Polish furniture.

5. He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6. The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7. Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

8. A bass was painted on the head of the bass.

9. When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10. I did not object to the object.

11. The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12. There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13. They were too close to the door to close it.

14. The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15. A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16. To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17. The wind was too strong to wind the sail

18. After a number of injections my jaw got number.

19. Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

20. I had to subject the subject to a series of tests

21. How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France.

Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

Quicksand works slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth?

One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend.

If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? Is it an odd, or an end?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

In what language do people

• recite at a play and play at a recital?
• ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
• have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up and down at the same time and, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

Why do you drive on a parkway and park on a driveway.

When the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. And while we're at it, why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick"?

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all.

Here are the winners of the Washington Post's annual Mensa Invitational, which once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

Bozone ( n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the Person who doesn't get it.

Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

Decafalon (n.): The gruelling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

Glibido: All talk and no action.

Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

The Post also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. And the winners are:

Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.

Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.

Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.

Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.

Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.

Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.

Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.

Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.

Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.

Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.

Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.

Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with yiddishisms

Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

Circumvent, n . An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

OTHER STUFF

Did a friend or relative tell you about this newsletter? The Backwoods Home Magazine newsletter is free and all you need is an email address so we can let you know when each issue is published and where it can be found. Even better, we sometimes have special offers and discounts that are available only to BHM Newsletter subscribers. Your email address will never be sold, rented, loaned, given, or otherwise provided to any third party.

Just visit the BHM web site at www.backwoodshome.com and click on "Newsletter" in the navigation menu on the left side of any web page.

Contact Info:

Editor/Letters - Dave Duffy, editor@backwoodshome.com
Web Site - Oliver Del Signore, webmaster@backwoodshome.com