In a world where people go to movies with titles like \u201cAlien Versus Predator,\u201d life has apparently imitated art. From an Internet friend, a veteran lawyer who spends a lot of time in Russia, we learn of an incident in Kamchatka where a 1500 pound bear spotted a shark of Great White size in the shallows, and attacked it as if it was a Super-Sized Filet-o\u2019-Fish.<\/p>\n
The shark did not take kindly to this.\u00a0 The result was apparently an epic battle of big scary fish versus big scary mammal.<\/p>\n
The fish won. The shark apparently tore a foreleg completely off the great bear, which then bled to death.<\/p>\n
It was posted on a closed forum, populated heavily by attorneys. Interestingly enough, sympathy was originally with the bear. (So much for professional courtesy, I guess.) We erect bipedal mammals apparently tend to relate to sometimes-erect and bipedal mammals, and reflexively stick together.<\/p>\n
Personally, I invoked the oath of impartiality and took the side of the fish, citing self-defense. The original poster \u2013 a seasoned criminal defense attorney, remember \u2013 agreed. \u201cMas is right,\u201d he said. \u201cThink of it this way \u2013 when the bear went into the water, he became a home invader.\u201d<\/p>\n
Alas, we on the Shark Defense Team have our work cut out for us. Opposing counsel will try for sympathy by claiming that after years of living paw-to-mouth on salmon-sized fish to feed its 1500 pound body, the bear was merely trying to Live The Dream with a fish meal the size of the star of \u201cJaws.\u201d<\/p>\n
Yes\u2026the bear \u201cwas just starting to turn his life around.\u201d<\/p>\n
To win in the case of Estate of Ruined Bruin v. Shark, <\/em>I expect there will be a \u201cstate of mind of the defendant\u201d issue, so we\u2019ll also have to bring in expert testimony from an ichthyologist to explain why the shark killed the bear \u201cin cold blood.\u201d<\/p>\n As a consultant to the defense team, I\u2019ll also recommend that we call as a material witness Henry Winkler, who played Fonzie on the old TV show \u201cHappy Days.\u201d He of all people should be able to testify that it\u2019s NEVER a good idea to \u201cjump the shark.\u201d<\/p>\n Bear (ouch) in mind that I\u2019m going strictly on principle here. Personally, I\u2019d be much more inclined to dine on shark filet than brown bear steak.\u00a0 Last week, I taught a second-level class in the Pacific Northwest that included one student whose job description includes control of brown bears in Alaska. He assures me (I\u2019ll take his word for it at this point) that at least on the North American side of the Bering Strait, brown bear meat tastes like rotting fish. On the other hand, I can tell you from personal experience that grilled shark tastes very much like swordfish, and is particularly delectable with lemon butter.<\/p>\n But, hey, you\u2019re the jury. What\u2019s YOUR verdict?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" In a world where people go to movies with titles like \u201cAlien Versus Predator,\u201d life has apparently imitated art. From an Internet friend, a veteran lawyer who spends a lot of time in Russia, we learn of an incident in Kamchatka where a 1500 pound bear spotted a shark of Great White size in the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9,"featured_media":6428,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-1442","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-uncategorized"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.backwoodshome.com\/blogs\/MassadAyoob\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1442","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.backwoodshome.com\/blogs\/MassadAyoob\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.backwoodshome.com\/blogs\/MassadAyoob\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.backwoodshome.com\/blogs\/MassadAyoob\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/9"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.backwoodshome.com\/blogs\/MassadAyoob\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1442"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.backwoodshome.com\/blogs\/MassadAyoob\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1442\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.backwoodshome.com\/blogs\/MassadAyoob\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/6428"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.backwoodshome.com\/blogs\/MassadAyoob\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1442"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.backwoodshome.com\/blogs\/MassadAyoob\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1442"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.backwoodshome.com\/blogs\/MassadAyoob\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1442"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}