A week ago, when I was away from home, a dear friend was up late, unable to sleep because of something that felt like a combination of indigestion and, maybe, a hiatal hernia. Being about a year older than me \u2013 in the age group where one\u2019s friends croak with alarming and saddening frequency \u2013 he decided that some medical attention would be in order.<\/p>\n
That turned out to be a damn good move. They found a 95% blockage in the anterior descending coronary artery, a situation that some cardiologists call \u201cthe widowmaker.\u201d The folks at the hospital handled it swiftly and efficiently. He now has a stent in place, inserted through the femoral artery, and by yesterday he was not only out of the hospital but shooting on the pistol range with me. His prognosis is excellent.<\/p>\n
Ah, the wonders of modern medicine\u2026and, ah ha, the wisdom of listening to your body (and knowing what to listen for), and not waiting until the pain closes deep inside the center of your chest like an iron claw before you start to take action.<\/p>\n
Tonight, though, he and I spent some time talking about something else. I hadn\u2019t learned of his near miss until four days later. When it went down, he and his wife were too busy to notify their friends.<\/p>\n
My friend had a lot of time to think in the hospital. It occurred to him that if he had just blinked out, his wife would never have known how much his guns and his guitars are worth, and might have been ripped off and lost their value after he was gone. We talked, and now he\u2019s going to take some time to put together a detailed list of what everything is worth, including the accessories. Some of his collectibles are worth literally a hundred times as much to another collector or enthusiast as a lay person would price them by guesswork at a yard sale or auction. Lists will be made of people who can guide his widow in disposing of his worldly goods to her best financial advantage.<\/p>\n
When life-threatening crisis is upon us, there are too many more urgent things to do than to tell everybody that someone is really sick, or hurt really bad. A group of us decided tonight in my living room to put a phone tree network together, and share names, phone numbers, and both snail mail and email addresses of people who should be notified at such times. When the time comes \u2013 not \u201cif,\u201d but \u201cwhen,\u201d because the final exit will come for all of us \u2013 pulling the trigger on that list will allow the closest of the loved ones to do the most important things while the next ring(s) out can be handling the less imperative notifications.<\/p>\n
I\u2019ve seen too many people die intestate, seen too many people defer the recognition of their own mortality and not keep their last will and testament up to date, and not plan for inheritance taxes\u2026and, as a result, have watched helplessly as what those good people wanted to go to certain designated heirs, instead was devalued and blown away like sand in a duststorm. Or, worse, was stolen by the vultures who prey on the grief of the bereaved. My \u201cafter I\u2019m outa here\u201d distribution has been locked in place for a long time (and kept regularly updated), but I learned some things this week. The notification process, and the reaching out and gathering of the extended family and friends circle, are gonna be a LOT better in order now.<\/p>\n
The one thing certain in this life is the leaving of it. We all need to remember that if we want the aftermath of that to go the way we want it, it\u2019s up to us to put the mechanism in place now, while there is still time.
\nThe Reaper tends to make his visits unannounced.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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