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<\/a><\/p>\nYeah, you guessed it\u2026but there\u2019s less difference than you might think.<\/p>\n
The Evil Princess, my Adult Supervisor and Nurse-Caregiver, was a critical care pediatric nurse in her former career before I kidnapped<\/span> rescued her and got her into the firearms industry.\u00a0 I am her first geriatric patient.\u00a0 (Someone asked her once, \u201cWhat\u2019s the difference?\u201d\u00a0 She answered, \u201cMainly, the size of the diapers.\u201d)<\/p>\n Support of adult male self-esteem, it turns out, was NOT her specialty.<\/p>\n Arthritis is twisting up my gun hand more than any other part of my soon-to-turn-70 body. A surgeon buddy in one of my advanced classes gave me a prescription he says is great for my arthritis. (Didn\u2019t mention that the prescription costs $2400, but he gave me a discount coupon, at least).\u00a0 He\u2019s a specialist in pediatric orthopedics.<\/p>\n When I was young, I learned that there is a simple formula to gauge age.\u00a0 \u201cYou know you\u2019re a grownup when the cops are younger than you, and you know you\u2019re old when your doctors <\/em>are younger than you.\u201d<\/p>\n I fit the profile.<\/p>\n About the same day I got the prescription, I received an advertisement for cremation and assorted other end-of-life services.\u00a0 At my age, you don\u2019t see those things as coincidental.<\/p>\n But, I always look on the bright side.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s not that I\u2019m getting older, it\u2019s that every day there are more\u00a0 younger women.\u201d<\/p>\n Ya gotta think positive.<\/p>\n Now, put that all together. I have my very own dedicated geriatric nurse.\u00a0 I got my most recent prescription from a guy who can be described as an advanced pediatrician. <\/em>When someone my age is seeing a pediatrician, obviously, the prognosis is that Second Childhood is on the horizon.<\/p>\n Again, I must think positive.\u00a0 If age is a bell curve, it should go: \u201cPrenatal>Infancy>Childhood>Adolescence>Young Adulthood>Prime of Life>Golden Years>THERE IS A BLANK SPACE HERE> Second Childhood>Total Senility>Death.\u201d<\/p>\n Well, I\u2019m well into what\u2019s supposed to be the Golden Years, right? So I should be getting very soon into that thing before Second Childhood, THE BLANK SPACE.<\/p>\n And that BLANK SPACE in a perfect bell curve and a perfect world, should obviously be \u2013<\/p>\n SECOND ADOLESCENCE!<\/p>\n It should come any time now. If my first adolescence is any prediction, anything stupid I do will be excused by \u201cCut him some slack, he\u2019s just an old fart,\u201d much like the first time around when it was \u201cCut him some slack, he\u2019s just a kid.\u201d\u00a0 This time around I won\u2019t be crazy, I\u2019ll be\u2026eccentric!<\/em><\/p>\n And I\u2019ll be able to eat like a pig and not gain weight and never need to sleep and have twenty erections a day.<\/p>\n