Satire from the Babylon Bee:  

22 COMMENTS

  1. There’s a website out there that claims to do gun violence stats with no politics. I was surprised to see that they had a methodology section. Then I read it. They claimed 75,000 data sources but neither named them nor explained anything about their actual methodology. Funny, that’s not how I was trained to do research, but they’re not doing research, just propaganda ala Josef Gobbels.

  2. This guy is great. At firs I wasn’t quite on his wavelength, but the secind time he used the “word” “purr ka PEE duh” I realised he was just twisting the knife after it was already hilted……

    His timing on the list of countries with the most gun violence was pluperfect. Just as I thought he had completed his sentence with United States being the leading gun death stats, (and KNOWING it was not so…) he dropped in the next country….. long pause then the next…….

  3. Yes, indeed. The Babylon Bee and satire go together like ham and eggs.

    Unfortunately, many of the firearm-prohibitionists are so (a) ignorant about firearms, and (b) detached from reality, that I am not sure that they would recognize even this level of satire.

    I think our modern day leftists are so caught up in their bubble of mass-insanity and mindset of superiority that they are immune from such things as hypocrisy or satire. They are too morally superior to recognize such things. Especially if they come from “The Deplorables”.

    Quote of the Day:

    “A Lion does not concern himself with the opinions of the sheep.” – Tywin Lannister from ‘Game of Thornes’

  4. This is funny. Would have been funnier if it wasn’t nearly entirely quoted from Everytown, Brady and willfully-ignorant Democrat lawmakers.

    • I don’t know. Satire makes fun of something/someone; it needs to be rooted in the words and deeds of whatever you’re satirizing. Without actual subject matter to ridicule, it’s not satire, it’s just comedy.

      And what better subject matter than the easily-refutable lies our anti-freedom opponents spew on a daily basis?

  5. Satire has no place on this website!
    While I’m here I must update you on UK events.
    There is a Bill going through Parliament here in England I thought people
    on the newsgroup might be interested in.
    Apparently British Government researchers in the 1980s discovered that
    the War of Independence was not won by the Americans. Technically the
    surrender was illegal as our representatives wrote the wrong date. Like the
    Millennium bug it’s been staring us all in the face, but no one ever saw
    it. So the British Government had no reason for it’s generosity in giving
    you independence.
    Since the fighting stopped, and the original claims on the colonies by
    Britain still stood. The United States still belongs to the British Empire.
    News of this has been suppressed in the US for obvious reasons. But is
    quietly working it’s way through the system here. It is not being reported
    on, but anyone who wants to can walk into the Houses of Parliament and hear
    it being debated.
    Last week the US amabassador was interned as an ‘agent acting for a power
    in rebellion against the Crown’. The bill is expected to gain the Royal
    Assent soon and Britain will formally take over the United States.
    Apart from the obvious implications, Loss of voting rights and the right to
    bear arms (look what you did last time we let you have them). This will
    mean the so called ‘ US government’ being interned, the surrendering of
    your armed forces and the movement of government to Westminster. The 50
    colonies will not have representation, though taxation will be increased to
    pay for an extended aristocracy to rule them.
    Implications are interesting:
    We take our history very seriously here, and criminals do not have statues
    to them. There are strict laws against glorifying them.
    All presidential statues and images will be removed.
    Since the British Government banned slavery on British Territory earlier
    in the Century. The United States being then a part of the Empire, had no
    legal slavery in 1861. This means that all statues medals pictures etc of
    anyone who owned a slave then will be removed. Obviously the implications
    for the Confederate culture are severe. But the North does not escape
    either. Statues of Grant are barred on two counts. (a president and he owned slaves) will have to be removed.

    That statue on the Mall has got to go. George the Third will be on the five
    dollar bill by the end of the year.

    There is a strong argument that since the Confederacy was in rebellion
    against the rebels and actively sought British aid, they should be exempt
    from cultural extermination. Though Davies tainted by his criminal past in
    the so called ‘US government’ will not escape censure. Southern lawyers
    here are putting forward an argument that as they were at war with the
    Union they were loyal to the crown. This has been argued against on the
    grounds that ‘thieves falling out, is not loyalty’. But the Souths argument
    does seem to be prevailing. It is the view of Her Majestys Government that
    the colonies had no legal right to rebel, though the Confederacy did, (only
    against Washington, not Westminster). The need for the extension of the
    ruling class to deal with our most troublesome colony is perhaps part of
    the reason for this sympathy with the South. The North can expect members
    of the Southern Plantation class,newly knighted by the Crown, to go north
    and be carpetbaggers for the Empire.There is specualtion that Sir William
    Clinton may well be pardoned for his part in the so called ‘US Government’
    and rule the colonies on behalf of the Crown as Viceroy of the American
    Colonies. But as a special favour you will have your own monarchy. King Hunter the first will be crowned soon.
    Obviously history will have to be rewritten. Apart from the leaders of
    the 1776 Insurrection being referred to henceforth as the ‘Criminal
    conspirators’, and the severe fines imposed on the US for being late for
    both World Wars. The Civil War will not be referred to as such, but as ‘the gangster war”. Since both the Confederacy and the Union
    were fighting over Crown property (the colonies), re enactments will be
    banned as they are playing out gangster wars. These are banned here on the
    grounds that they are a bad influence on the young. ( Not that they will
    have any weapons to use anyway).
    The good news is that you are losing one civil war, but you are gaining
    another. Anyone who wants to be a Cromwellian Pikeman is welcome to come
    and re-enact here!
    All this is still in the early stages, and a lot has to be thought
    through. I’ll keep you posted.

    There is a strong argument that since the Confederacy was in rebellion
    against the rebels and actively sought British aid, they should be exempt
    from cultural extermination. Though Davies tainted by his criminal past in
    the so called ‘US government’ will not escape censure. Southern lawyers
    here are putting forward an argument that as they were at war with the
    Union they were loyal to the crown. This has been argued against on the
    grounds that ‘thieves falling out, is not loyalty’. But the Souths argument
    does seem to be prevailing. It is the view of Her Majestys Government that
    the colonies had no legal right to rebel, though the Confederacy did, (only
    against Washington, not Westminster). The need for the extension of the
    ruling class to deal with our most troublesome colony is perhaps part of
    the reason for this sympathy with the South. The North can expect members
    of the Southern Plantation class, newly knighted by the Crown, to go north
    and be carpetbaggers for the Empire.There is specualtion that Sir William
    Clinton may well be pardoned for his part in the so called ‘US Government’
    and rule the colonies as resident Prime Minister on behalf of the Crown as Viceroy of the American Colonies.
    Obviously there will be no elections in the US.
    But as a special favour you will have your own monarchy.

    King Hunter the first will be crowned soon.

    All this is still in the early stages, and a lot has to be thought
    through. I’ll keep you posted.

    • Clearly, brother Nicholas Kane has taken today’s date, the first of April, more seriously than most…

    • @ nicholas kane – “So the British Government had no reason for it’s generosity in giving
      you independence.”

      While acknowledging that there may be some valid points in the British position, nevertheless, your claims must (I am sure that the good People of the UK will agree) be limited to the original 13 British colonies. They cannot possible include territory purchased from other powers (France, Spain, or Russia) or include territory conquered from Mexico or annexed by other means.

      So, I see room here for a reasonable compromise. Suppose we simply return the original 13 colonies back to the UK. We will (especially) be most happy to return the Blue States of New York, Massachusetts, New Jersey, etc. Plus. we will gladly include the District of Columbia (Washington, D.C.) at no charge.

      There you go! Isn’t that a very fair offer?

      • @ nicholas kane – “Leave out DC and you’ve got a deal!”

        Man, Oh, Man! We can’t even give DC to the Brits! What is this World coming to?

        Are you sure that we can’t get you to reconsider? After all, you burned Washington, DC during the War of 1812. You have had practice doing it. Perhaps you could take it, burn it to the ground again, and then start over from scratch?

        As noted in my other comment (below), you would be doing God’s Work by doing so. Bring on the Fire and Brimstone, Mate!

    • Since we are now being returned to the British Commonwealth, it also means we cannot drive on the wrong side of the road anymore. We must drive on the left.

      Also, no more American spelling. We speak English, not American. “Gray” must be spelled “grey,” whilst “tire” must be spelled “tyre.”

      No more drinking coffee, now we will drink tea. Beer will be served at room temperature.

      Cheerio! Pip, pip, and all that rot!

  6. In Genesis Chapter 18, the story is told of how Abraham pleaded with God to spare the wicked Cities of Sodom and Gomorrah. Abraham began by noting that, if there were 50 righteous men in the cities, they should not be destroyed along with the wicked. God agreed to spare the Cities if 50 could be found.

    Abraham then continued to bargain down to a lower figure. Finally, he got the figure down to just 10 righteous men. God agreed that he would not destroy them even if the figure was only 10 righteous men. (Still a high figure to my way of thinking. 🙂 )

    How did it all end?

    Quote of the Day:

    Genesis 19:24-25 – “Then the LORD rained upon Sodom and upon Gomorrah brimstone and fire from the LORD out of heaven; And he overthrew those cities, and all the plain, and all the inhabitants of the cities, and that which grew upon the ground.”

    It would seem that even 10 righteous men could not be found.

    Suppose we substitute Washington, D.C. for Sodom and Gomorrah (a not injudicious thing to do) and we narrow the definition of righteous man to mean to be a true American. By “True American”, I do not mean an American by accident of birth (a person who happens to be born on American soil). Rather, I mean a “True” American who firmly believes in the Founding Ideals of America and will bear True and Faithful Allegiance to the Constitution and to this Nation.

    Now, having set the above conditions, let’s apply the test. Do you think that there are 50 True Americans in Washington, D.C.? How about 30 or 20?

    Would we find even 10 True Americans inside the city limits of Washington, D.C. in these days and times?

    I am as doubtful of it as I would be of finding 10 righteous men.

    What do the readers of this blog think? 50 or 40? Maybe 30 or 20? Are there even 10 True Americans to be found in Washington, D.C.?

    We probably don’t have any way of counting the number for sure. However, based upon the results that we are seeing, the number has to be tiny.

  7. Not sure if the Brits want something that’s $35 Trillion in debt. Large order of fish & chips and it’s yours…

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