How quickly we forget. On January 26th, I would have missed the anniversary of having survived a helicopter crash with my buddy John Strayer thirteen years ago. Fortunately, friend Erich Martell remembered…with a sense of humor. He asked AI to create a poem or ballad about it. Here it is: I hope you find it as funny as I did.
The Ballad of the Florida Skies
In the heat of the Florida morning, where the sawgrass meets the pine,
A legend of the leather holster and the straight and narrow line,
Took to the air on spinning blades to thin the tusked brigade,
With Mas Ayoob, the witness wise, in the hunter’s light and shade.
They skimmed the tops of cabbage palms and watched the shadows flee,
The master of the lethal force, as calm as he could be.
Beside him sat John Strayer, with a Smith in heavy hand,
Looking for the copper-backs that scarred the southern land.
A shadow broke from cover—a boar of ancient size,
John raised the iron Mountain Gun with focus in his eyes.
But then the sky began to tilt, the rotors lost their song,
And what was meant for steady flight went suddenly, terribly wrong.
The bird began to shutter, then it rolled toward the mud,
Not brought down by a tusker’s charge or any creature’s blood.
But as the cockpit buckled and the glass began to fly,
The rules of safety held their ground beneath that spinning sky.
Though gravity was pulling hard and metal met the grit,
John kept his finger off the blade and never wavered a bit.
The muzzle never crossed his friend, the sights were kept away,
A lesson born of discipline that saved a life that day.
The dust it settled slowly on the wreckage in the glade,
The “shot down” legend started in the stories that were made.
But Mas walked from the twisted steel, his wisdom still intact:
That safety isn’t just a word—it’s a life-preserving pact.
So here’s to the men who survived the fall and the hogs they didn’t get,
To the expert witness of the law who hasn’t finished yet.
They say the pigs they brought him down with a snout and a mighty roar,
But the master knows it’s training that brings you back to shore.
Back when it happened, our mutual friend Steve Denney – retired cop, firearms instructor, and musician extraordinaire – put his own sense of humor to the situation with his song “Pork Chopper Blues,” here:
Did they ever figure out what caused the loss of power? Dunno who’s foot was shown in most of the footage, but they’re braver than I am.
Ice on the carburetor. Pre-flight check apparently missed it on an unseasonably cold day.
Once upon a time someone had a bright idea about providing a safety presentation that wouldn’t put everyone to sleep. They brought in a former fighter pilot who still flew professionally and used the aviation industry to show how minor oversights-and one spectacular case of complete disregard for established procedure (involved the USAF Thunderbirds)-could result in really bad results.
As a result I have an old memory that failure to recognize possible icing conditions and not turning on carburetor heat is/was an issue in private aviation. Assuming they have that function in helos.
The Alaska bush pilots I know speak in hushed tones about back in the day when iced-up carburetors brought many intrepid aviators to an early demise. Fuel injectors are the only way to go now.
Ice in the carburetor in FL on a cold day sounds like the Challenger disaster.
See help Mas!! 🥴, you can do it. Have you been up in one since? Scary machines.
JW
The Evil Princess says “No! More! Helicopters! EVAH!” I replay, “We just need bigger, newer helicopters.”
So far, she is winning… 🙁
Wasn’t aware of this incident, sir. Glad that you survived; it would be a different, and certainly less colorful, world without you.
I remember someone telling me about it that day, I was so relieved to hear no one was injured. I had no idea Steven could sing! Y’all know not to listen to Norm! Home town people doing great things.
What you do is put airbags on the skids and rotors…
Great video and soundtrack! I hadn’t realized Steve was such a songwriter & guitarist! I have shared this with a few of my family/friends that have attended one or more MAG courses with me. Chuck Holloway (MAG40 and MAG Revolver) is a recovering attorney (as he likes to introduce himself) and an enthusiastic and gifted songwriter–he especially appreciates Steve’s song! You might recall him as the only one who used a Ruger Alaskan 3″ .44 Magnum Revolver to shoot the MAG Revolver course one or two years ago (I forget, and time does fly by!).
The ice is in the carb not on the outside, even when it’s hot, if there’s lots of moisture in the air (florida) the temperature inside the carburetor can drop below freezing as the fuel vaporizes, and then ice can form inside the carburetor. All carbureted helicopters have what’s called carb heat, which uses heat from the engine and ducts it or into the carburetor but if you don’t use it, it doesn’t work. It’s not something that you could see on preflight because it doesn’t exist unless the engine is running and it’s in the carburetor not on the outside