Ah, the memes of the Internet. Some, of course, are stupid. But some have a ring of truth. I’ve seen several lately poking (usually good-natured) fun at those south of the Mason-Dixon line. Back in the day, the gun culture had a bit of division along those lines. Circa 1950, gun expert Bob Nichols opined that the Mason/Dixon line should be called the Colt/Smith & Wesson line, because the brand with the pony stamped on it seemed prevalent in the north, while the south was very much S&W country.
One sees it in the lingo too, a bit, which brings me back to those popular memes. Now, living in the Deep South after spending most of my life and career in Northern New England, I’m seen as a Damn Yankeerecovering Yankee getting through it one day at a time with some help from my friends. In the same boat is my lovely bride, a Nawthun lady whom I kidnapped rescued (to-MAY-to, to-MAH-to in my book) from Chicago, and she has made similar observations.
I’ve found Yankee women will apply cutting remarks with a sawtooth dagger, while their Southern sisters prefer to inflict the razor cut: you don’t realize you’ve been sliced ‘til you notice the blood.
You probably already know that when Ms. Mason says “Bless your heart,” it means you have done or said something nice. But when Ms. Dixon utters the same words, she is really saying “You, suh, are truly a flaming anus.”
When Ms. North says “How wonderful for you,” she is congratulating you for something. But when Ms. South purrs, “How wonderful for y’all” it is her way of saying, “Screw you, you ostentatious SOB!”
And the most current N/S meme seems spot on. When the Yankee lady asks “What did you just say,” she is probably just asking you to repeat something.
But when her Southern sister says the same thing in an almost imperceptibly different tone, it is a warning that you are now in danger of being shot with the traditional nickel plated, pearl- or sometimes ivory-handled Smith & Wesson her daddy gave her when she came of age, with which to settle the hash of boorish miscreants.
Amen…
I’ll second that Amen….
I have lived in South Central Virginia for more than 30 years, having luckily escaped The Peoples Republic of New Jersey.
The observation that Southern women use the razor in their cutting remarks couldn’t be more true, the style and panache they exhibit is truly awe inspiring.
Often I have heard that Alabama has the most attractive ladies. Also the other 49 States and possessions. North, South, Northwest, West Coast, Southwest maybe including Texas, & Hawaii are some notable subdivisions. Always best to be courteous to all the women, especially the Annie Oakleys (where was she from?).
Other but not necessarily last geographic mention includes East Coast, Midwest (Annie O. from Darke Co., OH), West (sometimes Big Sky), and Far West. Space aliens not yet included but maybe not excluded, either, just in case. Top beauty authority may be old ESP’s Keith Ranier, now lifelong resident at the big Tucson USP.
The quiver in the voice can [sometimes] indicate the use of force that will be implemented during the melee. Caution should be encouraged at the earliest point to avoid unnecessary excessive use of force.
One thing I’ve learned living here in the South for the last 30 years- NEVER FALL ASLEEP BEFORE SHE DOES!
Mas, you remember Mare and her Southern East Tennessee mannerisms.
She and your Gail likely employ the “Five deadly terms used by a woman:
#1 “Fine” meaning I’m right and you should STFU
#2 “Nothing” meaning something I now need to be worried about
#3 Go ahead” meaning this is a dare, NOT PERMISSION, do not proceed!
#4 “Whatever” meaning, with the proper inflection and gaze … screw you!
#5 “That’s OK” meaning she is pondering how hard and when you will pay for this error
You have been reminded … And yes, Mare still has her Lady Smith…:-)
And a rescued furball platoon, headed by Molly the Rottweiler…
We’ve been together fifty years this June, but it is reassuring to hear her say “You’re not dead ’til I tell you’re dead Jonathan!” considering the Covid-19 mess, and that she was an RN for over twenty years.
Be safe out there!
Happy 50th, Jack!
Annie Oakley was from Darke county Ohio. Just for the record.
Mas, being in the same category, I have to somewhat correct your original label. I, like you, am a G– D— Yankee as I not only came south, I stayed. I’ve been advised that my grandkids will be accepted as Southern. I’d been south about 4 years and started a question: “Do you reckon………” and stopped in shock.
I recall sitting in a restaurant in southern Alabama several decades ago, concealed by the high backed booth. A party of young ladies was later seated to my rear-they didn’t know I was there. One of them had received a marriage proposal and she sought the advice of her friends. What followed would have done credit to a medieval court of the Borgias. While leaving I stopped to view the ladies (?) hoping to memorize faces so I could avoid them like the plague of the next few months. I believe I made a comment to the effect that I’d had a most educational dinner. (In more ways than one as I knew at least one of them. She later sort of apologized by saying that “You probably think we’re terrible.” I noted that I hadn’t heard her say a thing.)
If a Texas woman suddenly asks if you know the Lord, it probably means she wants to know which direction your soul will be going after she shoots you and you’d be better off making a hasty exit.
I moved from WV to GA 40 some years ago and have lived in the same place, but when I talk to folks around here they often remind me, you ain’t from around here, are ya? 😉
However, let me just add, I love GA and consider it my home place now.
I lived in the south for many of my growing up years and picked up on the southern belle back stabbing style.. As an adult I married a lady from Cleveland Ohio, she don’t mince words or leave me confused abut her real intentions. Just my style.
On the other hand, only a true southern gal can make ‘y’ll have a nice day, now’ sound really convincing.
Case in point: my daughter-in-law’s ladies’ church group in South Texas decided to have an outing for fun and fellowship. They all went to a Concealed Handgun License class, finished up at the range where they all qualified, then went and had lunch. Then some went shopping for handguns and ammo. Perfect illustration of “Don’t Mess With Texas.”
Spot on !!
YeahBuddy?
Mas, you’re a Yankee, not a DamnYankee.
The difference between a Yankee and a DamnYankee:
A Yankee comes to Texas and wants to be a Texan. Response: Howdy! Let’s go have a Lone Star.
A DamnYankee comes to Texas and wants it to be like California. Response: Do you know the Lord? I’m willing to introduce you.
What an entertaining article!
Of late, I can only assume that an increasing number of residents up North may only dream of owning Colts, while Southern folks carry S&Ws. Like Tom S. I was born in NJ, but my usual answer when occasionally asked about my place of birth is to admit that fact and add, “But it wasn’t my fault.” Fortunately, I was off to southern WV at the age of three.
And like Michael, I too left WV for points south almost 40 years ago: VA, NC, SC and finally TN, enjoying my stays in each place, but discovering that SC and TN “feel” much more Southern than do VA and NC.
Regarding Mas’s references to “Yankees” and “Damn Yankees,” some of the best BBQ I’ve ever experienced was sold out of a catering truck which crisscrossed portions of the SC/NC border. Cash only transactions and all tips welcome. One of its inner walls was flavored with countless bumper stickers, many references to select “historical events,” with more than a few reflecting “Yankee” themes–“Happiness is a Northbound Yankee”; “You’ve Seen the South. Now Go Home!”; “If You (HEART) New York, Take 95 North”; and “I Don’t Care How They Did It Up North!” being a few of the ones I can recall. My hunch is that there were plural S&Ws stationed in that vehicle, and maybe even an old Colt. And what with the South being the South, everyone was always so very polite and never in a big hurry.
Truer words have never been penned!
Southern women smile at you and then stab you in the back.
Northern women will snarl at you, stab you just below the rib cage, then step back and smile as they watch the life leave your eyes.
Southerners can also be pickyish about other Southerners. I remember reading the front page (1/6th of the page’s size) obit for a lady in the Charleston SC News and Courier many years ago. It went on about how she came to Charleston at the age of 3 or 4 and went on about her great contributions to the betterment of of the city and the citizens until she passed at the age of 93 years. Headline read: “Georgia lady dies at 93.”
I am from South Louisiana and I didn’t know that DamnYankee was two words until I was 21!
Y’all Otta try being from Kentucky everyone North, South, East, and West make fun of the way we talk. We can’t stand the North don’t really fit in with the South and everyone thinks we’re stupid hillbillies. With over 24 years service in the National Guard I’ve been all over the United States and several other countries. Got asked by a female barber in California if we had restaurants in Kentucky or did we just eat potatoes and stuff like that. She wasn’t being sarcastic she was serious. North Dakota “ what part of the damn south are you from” Boston Logan airport “are you from Tennessee? No I’m from Kentucky now where’s the USO office. I’m only 25 miles north of Tennessee. I feel right at home there and feel like a foreigner from Lexington on North. I will say I own several more Smith and Wesson than I do Colts and we always go south on vacation and it’s never crossed my mind to go anywhere northeast. Could I see myself ever living in Georgia, South Carolina, Tennessee or North Carolina? Sure. The New England states? Just go ahead and shoot me.
My experience with the folks in Paducah Kentucky showed me that they were the most friendly, helpful, decent folks of anywhere in the eastern half of the US.
They are much nicer folks to be around than the stuffy liberals living in most yuppie, Mass communities.
“What did you just say,”
Hank Williams, Jr. sings the song, “If Heaven Ain’t a Lot Like Dixie.” One line goes, “Just send me to hell or New York City; It would be about the same to me.” I love that, and I live 50 miles west of NYC! Northern NJ is a suburb of NYC, and southern NJ is a suburb of Philadelphia.
It’s sad to see the South getting polluted by Leftists. One thing to keep in mind. In 1775, the colonists put up with King George III’s long train of abuses. There was no armed resistance. Then the King told his army to confiscate those cannons and gunpowder. That’s when the pushback started.
In those days, many people believed monarchy was normal, and a republic wouldn’t last. Look at how the world has changed! How many real monarchs are left? The king of Saudi Arabia? Even the British switched over to our system. They still have a queen (and a good one) but she has no power. Of course, with communism, it looks like authoritarianism is making a comeback, and that is just monarchy with a different name. Hierarchy is just the way of things, from the natural world to the human world.
this one made me laugh out loud! Perfectly written and oh so true. I love your use strike throughs…what we’re thinking vs what we actually say…insight into how your brain is working
Having said that, my year living in Birmingham, Alabama was like being a fish out of water. All of my friends ended up being transplants, and the locals didn’t know what to make of me.
Reporting a loose rooster in the parking lot of the Western Supermarket to the local police brought a lot of mirth to the local constabulary, who thought that this yankee didn’t know the difference between a rooster and a pigeon.
Bias goes both ways, y’all.
Massad:
You don’t even want me to get started on my island born Puertorrican wife. It doesn’t matter what you say your ass is always in trouble.
TN_MAN:
Are you going to take these Yankee insults to Southern belles laying down? Speak up, man! 🙂
Personally, “I don’t give a damn!”
I am reminded of a line from “A Christmas Carol” by Charles Dickens. In it, a bachelor called “Topper” was asked to express an opinion regarding women. His reply was:
“Topper clearly had his eye on one of Scrooge’s niece’s sisters, for he answered that a bachelor was a wretched outcast, who had no right to express an opinion on the subject.”
As a old bachelor myself, I will side with “Topper” and stay out of this one! 🙂
TN_MAN, the years have obviously made you wise(r). The owls are jealous.
Having lived in the Deep South all of my ~60 years, I say to Mas: “By George, I think you’ve got it!” And welcome to God’s country.
I think that both northern and southern women are vital in the fight to preserve our right to keep and bear arms. As evidenced by the great increase in gun sales in 2020, women realize that there are elements in our society that care nothing for their lives and businesses, that the police may not respond, and that the job of defending themselves and their kids rests solely on their shoulders. The hardest part will be making their voices heard above the din of anarchists, America haters and prohibitionists.
I learned the Southern “Three Shades of Nay”:
“No” means no, and no hard feelings, like if you ask if a man will sell you his dog.
“Hell no” means “No, and don’t you dare ask again”, like if you ask if a man will give you his dog.
And “Oh, HAIL no!” means, “Mister, we’s already fighting, you’re just too stupid to know it”, like if you were to KICK a man’s dog.
Spot on Mas And funny into the bargain.
SO much for “the melting pot”, eh?
Remids me of a line from a novel purporting to be a glimpse into the history and culture of the Dape Saouth.
“Frankly, Scarlett, I dont give a damn”.
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