Nothing says love like a warm, smoking gun…

…at least in my world.

The Evil Princess and I met a few months short of twenty years ago, when she attended one of my classes.  I confess, the cute gal with the sweet smile in the front row caught my eye. Nature then took its course. 

After a while, I learned to thrive in captivity.

Shared interests help to cement a relationship. You know the old stereotype of the male being the mechanical one and the female looking on adoringly while he fixes things around the house? That is reversed in our relationship.  She is the one who spends an hour in the hardware store while I sit in the car in the parking lot reading a book until she texts me to come in and pay for whatever the hell she wants this time.  Her mechanical IQ is 140-plus genius level; mine is about 50 or so.

Being that her full title is The Evil Princess of Podcasts, Pixels, and Polymer Pistols, she asked me meekly if she could attend Glock Armorer’s School to learn the details of repairing Plastic Poppers.  Given that I had struggled through that same class and my instructors must have felt like Ann Sullivan teaching Helen Keller, I readily agreed and paid her tuition.  I offered her an armorer’s class with her other favorite polymer pistola, the Springfield Armory XD, and she eagerly agreed.  The time came when she asked almost timidly (which is as close to “timid” as she ever gets), “Could I go back to the Mother Ship in Smyrna, Georgia for Advanced Glock Armorer’s School?” I delightedly cried, “Of course! My treat!”

Since she is a retired neonatal critical care nurse (I am her first geriatric patient) I came to call her The Glock Nurse.

And then I took it one step too far. “Darling,” I told her lovingly, “I think you’re ready for…1911 Armorer’s School!”

And, dammit, she caught onto me.

Which is another reason why I carry plastic pistols more often than my old favorite 1911s these days.

Ah, the romance…


  1. Mas, I had a somewhat similar relationship except that yours is still intact. My wife of 41+ years attended a technical class around 1978 where I was the instructor. The attractive and obviously intelligent redhead gal who asked me questions that really made me think ended up marrying me a year or so later – about the only dumb thing I can recall her doing all during our marriage. Now deceased for a bit over a year, I still miss her – but have many memories of times where she proved me to be less intelligent. Nonetheless we had a very happy marriage.
    Take care & stay safe.

  2. God must have seen the evil princess in action when he said “the meek shall inherit the earth.”

    Toughest meek I’ve yet seen.

    • the defintion of that word we see rendered “meek” in the bible is “one who knows exactly who they are”. Moses was that guy. he was VERY confident (not cocky or self-assured) in WHO he was, and WHAT God had said HE will do through, and sometimes in spite, of him. A meek person does not have to prove anything to anyone, they just confidently do what is in front of them to do.

  3. But I must have a copy of those Bobble Heads (if that’s what they are). Instant hot seller on this site for sure.

  4. What a treasury of shared firsts for you and the Evil Princess. I never knew, but now I do. What a fun read on Valentine’s Day 2022. I adore your sentence written as…”After a while, I learned to thrive in captivity.” I believe this match up between the two of you – ” ‘Twas meant to be.” as they say.

  5. Mas,
    Happy Valentine’s Day to you and Gail. Janet and I are up to 38 years and, yes, shared interests are key. Fortunately, we have many. Unfortunately, she enjoys shooting only about 4 times per year. Still, I am blessed. But enough of me…
    My sincere condolences on the major gaps in your service-providers’ coverage of key mechanical needs. You should remind the EPoPPPP that neglecting the basic life needs of an old man may constitute Elder Abuse in the eyes of the State.
    Also, I had not realized you were such a generous sponsor of firearms education. Please find attached my application to the Ayoob Armorers’ Scholarship Foundation for educational grants to attend the Sig Sauer Armorer’s Academy and the Bill Wilson 1911 Armorer’s School.

  6. Hahahaha !! Thanks for a wonderful story which made me laugh. Love the Bobbleheads.
    Hope Ya’ll have a wonderful Valentine’s Day !!

  7. Mas, if the action figures are accurate and the photo is not reversed, you and the EP are both left handed. Note also the EP figure has a much larger head, to hold her bigger brain? Why do the figures have handcuff cases on the right side of their belts instead of magazine holders? I guess the figures carry their Glock looking pistols “Mexican style” without holsters.

  8. Friend Tom606, easy to see you are the real 606 deal, with the expert eye of the veteran patrolman. The handcuff cases, however, could actually contain backup pistols that look like ordinary cell phones. German surplus obtainable in Marseille through French Foreign Legion mercenaries who graduated from MAG 40 classes with honors. See some of the desperadoes looking like TN_MAN in graduation photos. The lovely EP may wear a highly confidential holster for her Austrian Auto. The officer on the left ready to fire has seldom been known to take prisoners, and likely relies only on a few twist ties for custody.

    • Strategic Steve, I used to carry a Moon Pie or small donut in my handcuff case so if I get hungry while patrolling my area, I have some emergency grub to munch on.

      The tiny North America mini-revolvers with short barrels could actually fit in certain handcuff cases. I found a couple of these on two suspects I searched. One had the gun attached to a cord around his neck and the other had the little revolver hidden in a soft eyeglass case clipped in his shirt pocket. One guy did not have a CCW and got an extra charge of illegally carrying a concealed weapon. I had an idea once to make a fake Afro hairdo with a small hidden compartment inside to conceal stuff, but I would look out of place wearing it 🙁

  9. That’s a great saga, uncle Mas. Mine is a kick butt and take names kind of cook, especially anything done in the oven or crockpot but yet will adamantly deny this. As to guns, she’s a strict revolver gal but loves a 10/22. Beer? That’s my game; she refuses to touch a drop, so I have to make exotic concoctions any time we decide to open the liquor cabinet. Thank God I used to be a bartender!

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