|Issue #26 • March/April, 1994|
Click on picture for printable, full-sized version to color.
There is a book that describes a time warp as being a kind of bubble, a place in time that doesn’t really fit into what we know of as history. How often have you wished that you could spend one or two days in a big bubble like that? Maybe the time that you accidentally spelled your name in permanent ink on the bathroom wall. Wouldn’t it have been nice to just go to sleep in a big vacant bubble until the flack from that blew over? What about those sickly tense minutes spent at the doctors office staring at a tray of sterile needles, wondering which one was for you? How about the Dentist? The principal’s office? Sunday evenings at nine o’clock with three hours of home work that you’ve been putting off?…
Enough!!…Stop! It’s probably making you knee weak just thinking of some of life’s little episodes, so let’s escape! How about taking some of that precious stuff (time) to move a hundred years forward or a million years back in history? Take an afternoon to forget today. With a little imagination, it’s easy, and you don’t even need a note from your parents! Follow these steps to remove yourself to the Jurrasic age, then whiz on up to the year 2094. It’s a breeze! Just remember to come back in time to finish conjugating those verbs before English class tomorrow.
First of all you must wash all of today out of your mind. Fill up a sink with warm sudsy water, take a deep breath and sink your face and hands. Blow all of the air out of your lungs, and with each bubble you make, pretend that something that’s been bugging you is being carried away. Lift up your head for another breath, plunge again and let those warm time bubbles escape with every last worry in your brain. When this is finished, dry off with a towel, and you’re ready for an afternoon in the twilight zone!
Prehistoric fish fossil prints
To escape to the Jurrasic period you will need to have gathered these materials before your head dunk:
1. Some old absorbent rags.
2. A box of salt.
3. A fresh dead fish (mullet is pretty cheap, most places)
4. Some tempra paint.
5. four or five sheets of newsprint or construction paper.
With these materials. you can make what looks like a real fish fossil. First take the fish and rub it all over with salt. Do its head and tail on both sides too. This will remove all the slimy film that protects the live fish from bacteria while it swims through the water. Now wipe the salt off with the rags. Pick a color (or colors) of tempra and spread a thin layer over the whole fish body on one side. Don’t use too much! Now wipe the excess off with a rag and place the newsprint or construction paper over the fish’s body and press down firmly.
It might take two or three tries but with practice, you can come up with some really beautiful fossils-like prints. If you get a really nice one, you could even frame it, they’re that pretty!
Make a time capsule
After you’ve cleaned up that mess, let’s head for the future! You will have fun scouting around the house for items to go into your time capsule.
A time capsule is like a present for someone not in the present: a gift for a friend in the future. In your gift box, or capsule you will show your friend 1ittle tid-bits of what your life and world was like in the year 1994. You won’t be here anymore of course in the year 2094, so a time capsule will be kind of like the ultimate one-way pen-pal. An old oatmeal box works best for this projiect. You must paint it, or wrap it in aluminum foil, or even glue beads and other decorations onto it. Anything to make it look special to some child of the future. Label it too, with the worcis “Time capsule, to be opened in the year 1994.” and your name and the date.
Inside your box, you should put the filled out information sheet from this page, and the following signs of these times.
1. A folded up first page of your local newspaper.
2. A favorite artic!e from Backwoods Home Magazine. Perhaps one that gives some “how to” information. (raising chickens or maybe some great recipe)
3. A plastic bag with a few strands of your hair in it.
4. A copy of the alphabet and letters from one to one hundred (just in case things change drasticly!)
5. A picture of you and one of your family.
6. (This is the fun part!) Anything that you think is wonderful about the times in which we live. Maybe a couple of sticks of bubble gum, or your favorite candy bar….If you’re from the south you might throw in a bottle of tobasco sauce! Ferhaps your favorite fish lure, or a tape of yourself or your favorite hand singing. Put some seeds from the garden in too, and even some joke items like a plastic ice cube with a fly in it. Put explanations in to let them know what you were like back in the good old days of 1994. Thev will love the nostalgia, and you will have a great time providing it.
When your capsule is full, put the top onto the box and either glue lt or tape it firmly. You must put your capsule in a safe place, maybe in the bottom of a box in the attic. If you’re really into it, check around with your adult friends to see who might have some extra space in a safety deposit box at the bank.
Now just forget about it. If you can stand not to open it, you sure will make the day of some lucky child who happens upon your 1994 time capsule in the year 2094. What a trip to the future!