I thought this column from the Wall Street Journal too good to post part and make you follow a link for the rest so I, err…borrowed it all.

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Teaching ‘Taco Bell’s Canon’
Today’s students don’t read. As a result, they have sometimes hilarious notions of how the written language represents what they hear.
By JAMES E. COURTER

Is it true that college students today are unprepared and unmotivated? That generalization does injustice to the numerous bright exceptions I saw in my 25 years of teaching composition to university freshmen. But in other cases the characterization is all too accurate.

One big problem is that so few students are readers. As an unfortunate result, they have erroneous, and sometimes hilarious, notions of how the written language represents what they hear. What emerged in their papers and emails was a sort of literary subgenre that I’ve come to think of as stream of unconsciousness.

Some of their most creative thinking was devoted to fashioning excuses for tardiness, skipping class entirely, and failure to complete assignments. One guy admitted that he had trouble getting into “the proper frame of mime” for an 8 a.m. class.

Then there were the two young men who missed class for having gotten on the wrong side of the law. They both emailed me, one to say that he had been charged with a “mister meaner,” the other with a “misdeminor.”

Another student blamed “inclimate weather” for his failure to come to class, admitting that it was a “poultry excuse.” A male student who habitually came late and couldn’t punctuate correctly had a double-duty excuse: “I don’t worry about my punctual errors.”

To their credit, students are often frank when it comes to admitting their shortcomings and attitude problems. Like the guy who owned up to doing “halfhazard work.” Or the one who admitted that he wasn’t smart enough to go to an “Ivory League school.” Another lamented not being astute enough to follow the lecture on “Taco Bell’s Canon” in music-appreciation class.

Do you think Johann Pachelbel would be saddened or amused at hearing his most famous work, Canon and Gigue in D major, referred to as Taco Bell’s Canon?

Many students have difficulty adjusting to life in dormitories. One complained that his roommate was “from another dementian.” Another was irritated by a roommate’s habit of using his “toilet trees” without asking. A female student, in describing an argument over her roommate’s smelling up their room with cheap perfume, referred to getting in her “two scents’ worth.”

Some find you can’t go home again. After several weeks at school, one coed returned to her childhood house only to find life there “homedrum.”

To be fair, many of the young men and women I encountered over the years are capable of serious thinking on social issues and international affairs. The Iraq War, in what one student called “nomad’s land,” was very much on their minds. Some were for it, some against it. The most ardent supporter was the guy who described his attitude as “gun-ho.” One student lamented that we’re becoming a society that “creates its individuals in a lavatory.” Another worried that education reform might result in school being in “secession” year round.

When it comes to relationships, it is, in the words of more than one undergraduate, “a doggy-dog world.” But I’m sure most of us could sympathize with the girl who said she resented being “taken for granite” by her boyfriend. Some learn the price of intimacy the hard way, like the coed who referred to becoming pregnant on “that fetal night.” She might have been better off with the young gentleman who spoke of his policy of keeping relationships “strictly plutonic.”

One struggling freshman summed it up for all of us when he wrote, “Life has too much realism.” Maybe so, but I don’t recommend coping like the guy who referred to getting away from it all by spending the day “sitting on a peer.”

Among students’ biggest complaints is that they have to write so much in college. In his end-of-semester evaluation, one honest soul complained that “writhing gives me fits.” Sad to say, it’s not uncommon to hear students remark on how much they look forward to being done with English.

Who knows what language they’ll use then?

Mr. Courter recently retired from teaching at Western Illinois University in Macomb, Ill.

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You might think examples like the ones included in the essay are relatively rare, but I believe that if you ask anyone who works in editorial in any form of publishing, they’ll tell you a steady stream of such writing arrives unsolicited.

The really sad part is that many times, the folks doing the writing are clearly intelligent and have good information to share. They probably could show you how to do something with no trouble at all, but telling you how to do it in words…that’s another thing entirely.

Professor Courter blames a lack of reading for the problem and certainly, that is part of it. But I believe the other part is that our public schools have dumbed-down both curriculum and expectations to the point where children are graduating high school without the basic verbal and math skills needed to get by in the real world. We’re so concerned about pumping up their self-esteem we neglect the things that actually build true self-esteem — challenge and accomplishment.

My first grandchild arrives this week. I don’t know if his parents will be sending him to public or private school when the time comes. But I do know that grampa will try his darnedest to instill a love of reading and thinking and doing beginning at a very early age.

Wish me luck.

What examples of the dumbing down of education do you see in your job or around you in general?

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There are many versions of Pachelbel’s Canon out there for your listening pleasure. Here are two I like.

London Symphony Orchestra [3:54]

Boston Pops [5:01]

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Three videos for you today.

Heckler, left, tells youngsters they’re going to “burn in hell” for singing God Bless the USA.

Remember Public School 90 in Coney Island, N.Y., where principal Greta Hawkins pulled Lee Greenwood’s “God Bless the USA” from a kindergarten “moving up” ceremony while keeping Justin Bieber’s chart-topping “Baby?” (“Baby” was later pulled by order of the education department because of the bad publicity.) Well, it’s back in the news.

Republican Representative Bob Turner, who is running for the U.S. Senate, got some kids together outside the school, gave them flags, and they all sang “God Bless the USA,” or tried to. Some presumably Democratic Obama supporters didn’t like the idea and did their best to disrupt the event by shouting at the kids. The loudest mouth of the bunch even yells that they’ll all “burn in hell.” To little kids!

Here is the video. It’s a bit over nine minutes long. The song is a small part of it. The rest is the demonstrators being interviewed, which I found interesting.

Did you notice the cutie on the end of the second row looking at the guy like, “Who is this dope and why is he ruining our song?”

What a sad performance. Not by the kids, but by the adult protesters. It’s one thing to shout down a political opponent. it’s quite another to harass little kids.

If you watched the whole thing, did you catch the woman saying “I don’t believe in using children as an instrument” and the loudmouth saying “You all brainwashing the kids?”

I have to wonder where they were when the following two videos were made.

Apparently, it’s okay to brainwash kids in support of Obama, but not to sing about loving their country.

What do you folks make of all of this?

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By the time you finished reading the headline, you probably already guessed the answer. They’re spending the money because the dopes you elected to Congress, and the myriad bureaucracies they’re created, think it’s just fine that you have to work a little harder, pay a little more, do without a little more often, so private companies, corporations, and associates won’t have to spend their own profits to promote their businesses.

Along with those mentioned in the title, oodles of companies like Blue Diamond Growers, Tyson Foods, Purina, Del Monte, and the Cotton Council International receive millions of taxpayer dollars every year to spend overseas promoting their businesses. That last one, the Cotton Council, received $20 million to create a game show that’s supposed to promote cotton use, in India, a country that produces so much cotton, they are a net exporter of the stuff.

Below is a link to the report published this month by Senator Tom Coburn titled Treasure Map: The Market Access Program’s Bounty of Waste, Loot and Spoils Plundered from Taxpayer.

In the report, Coburn writes:

Dear Taxpayer,

At the request of Congress, the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) has spent more than two billion dollars on the Market Access Program (MAP), a government program that uses your tax dollars to subsidize the advertising costs of profitable agriculture companies and trade associations doing business overseas.

Many Americans might respond with disbelief that we are paying for private companies to market their products in the first place. That we are doing so overseas is even more troubling.

With a host of other agricultural priorities, it is time to reduce funding for this program. At a time when we are cutting funding for our troops, taxpayers cannot continue to subsidize the filming of Reality-TV shows in India, wine tastings for foreign journalists, pet food advertising, and even to advertise pet shampoo anymore. We need to make tough choices.

…

As the federal government has amassed more than $15.6 trillion in debt, or nearly $50,000 per American, and as Congress borrows more than 40 cents of every dollar it spends, it is now time to scrutinize every federal program, no matter its size, shape or beneficiary. Congress has a duty to root out duplicative and inefficient programs. It must also learn to set priorities as budgets inevitably constrict and determine whether programs are consistent with a proper constitutional role for the federal government.

The time has come to debate whether the federal government should be in the business of promoting private market goods to foreign buyers.

While I agree with Coburn that Congress should be eliminating duplicate programs, I’d go one further and eliminate ALL programs that use taxpayer dollars to benefit businesses and individuals. And I strongly disagree that it’s time to debate anything. It’s time to act.

America can no long afford to waste tax dollars, 40% of which are being borrowed.  It is time to eliminate programs and the bureaucracies that administer them and not just those which relate to agriculture or food. The Federal government has grown into a bloated behemoth and the time has come for emergency bariatric surgery.

What do you think?

Click Here to read Senator Colburn’s report.

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I don’t remember a word of my high school commencement speech, nor who gave the speech. Neither do I recall anything about the commencement speeches given when my two kids graduated high school or when my son graduated college.

They were, undoubtedly, packed with the usual platitudes and exhortations to greatness and probably left everyone feeling really good about themselves. But they’re lost to the past because they were nothing special.

English teacher David McCullough

I tell you that because I just spent twelve minutes and forty-two seconds listening to a speech I will remember, because it was special. It may well be the best high school commencement speech ever given and not because the speaker was particularly suave or glib. He was just the opposite. He read most of the speech and even stumbled over words occasionally. But it didn’t matter, because he told the graduating class of the high school in a very wealthy town here in Massachusetts the truth about themselves and more. And he managed to inject just  the right amount of humor into the speech as he did it.

When I clicked the PLAY icon, I expected to be able to tell you to watch for a part or two at particular times. I can’t do that. It was all that good. So good, in fact, that every single high school graduate, and every parent of school-age children nation-wide, perhaps world-wide, should hear it.

So, without further ado, I give you Wellesley, Massachusetts high school English teacher David McCullough and his speech to his school’s graduates. Given the extreme liberalism and feel-goodism of the state and town, I hope the guy has rock-solid tenure.

Enjoy.

And please leave a comment to  let me know what you thought of the speech.

UPDATE: Reader Kim, in the comments section, linked to the complete text of the speech. I captured it and posted it for those of you who would like to read it or print it. The link is below the video.

Transcript of David McCullough Jr.’s commencement address: You’re Not Special.

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According to a story in the New York Post, a Coney Island principal,  Greta Hawkins, ordered that Lee Greenwood’s “God Bless the USA” be pulled from the program because “we don’t want to offend other cultures.” The youngsters had been practicing for months in preparation for their “moving up” ceremony, and the song had been sung by students in prior years.

Principal Greta Hawkins

Parents and students, many of them from the “other cultures” Hawkins purports to be worried about, were upset by her decision, but the New York Department of Education closed ranks and supported the principal’s absurd decision, saying, “The lyrics are not age-appropriate.”

What is “age appropriate” for kindergarteners, other than a medley of Sesame Street songs? Justin Bieber’s “Baby,” which students will be expected sing at the ceremony.

Maybe I’m missing something, but I can’t figure out how a moving, patriotic song that is embraced by millions of people who moved here from “other cultures” is less appropriate than one by a pop culture icon about his girlfriend. One has to wonder just how many of the kids in that kindergarten are already hooking up with each other that Hawkins and the DOE think Bieber’s song is more appropriate.

Here are the lyrics to both. Please, you tell me which you think is more appropriate for youngsters to sing, in school or out.

Baby
By Justin Bieber, Christopher Bria Bridges, Christina Milian, Terius Youngdell Nash, Christopher A. Stewart

Featuring: Ludacris

Justin Bieber

You know you love me, I know you care. Just shout whenever, and I’ll be there
You are my love, you are my heart. And we will never, ever, ever be apart

Are we an item? Girl, quit playin’. “We’re just friends,” what are you sayin’?
Said “there’s another,” and looked right in my eyes. My first love broke my heart for the first time

And I was like baby, baby, baby, oh. Like baby, baby, baby, no
Like baby, baby, baby, oh. I thought you’d always be mine, mine

Baby, baby, baby, oh/. Like baby, baby, baby, no
Like baby, baby, baby, oh. I thought you’d always be mine, mine

For you, I would have done whatever. And I just can’t believe we’re here together
And I wanna play it cool, but I’m losin’ you. I’ll buy you anything, I’ll buy you any ring

And I’m in pieces, baby fix me. And just shake me ’til you wake me from this bad dream
I’m goin’ down, down, down, down. And I just can’t believe my first love won’t be around

And I’m like baby, baby, baby, oh. Like baby, baby, baby, no
Like baby, baby, baby, oh. I thought you’d always be mine, mine

Baby, baby, baby, oh. Like baby, baby, baby, no
Like baby, baby, baby, oh. I thought you’d always be mine, mine

When I was 13, I had my first love. There was nobody that compared to my baby
And nobody came between us who could ever come above
She had me going crazy, oh I was starstruck. She woke me up daily, don’t need no Starbucks

She made my heart pound. I skip a beat when I see her in the street
And at school on the playground. But I really wanna see her on a weekend
She know she got me dazin’ ’cause she was so amazin’. And now my heart is breakin’ but I just keep on sayin’

Baby, baby, baby, oh. Like baby, baby, baby, no
Like baby, baby, baby, oh. I thought you’d always be mine, mine

Baby, baby, baby, oh. Like baby, baby, baby, no
Like baby, baby, baby, oh. I thought you’d always be mine, mine

I’m all gone. (Yeah, yeah, yeah)(Yeah, yeah, yeah)
Now I’m all gone. (Yeah, yeah, yeah) (Yeah, yeah, yeah)
Now I’m all gone. (Yeah, yeah, yeah) (Yeah, yeah, yeah)
Now I’m all gone, gone, gone, gone. I’m gone

Wow! Pretty deep and moving, eh? Can you believe it only took five people to write that song? Amazing!

Now compare that to this.

God Bless The USA
by Lee Greenwood

If tomorrow all the things were gone, I’d worked for all my life.
And I had to start again, with just my children and my wife.

Lee Greenwood

I’d thank my lucky stars, to be livin here today.
‘Cause the flag still stands for freedom, and they can’t take that away.

And I’m proud to be an American, where at least I know I’m free.
And I wont forget the men who died, who gave that right to me.

And I gladly stand up, next to you and defend her still today.
‘Cause there ain’t no doubt I love this land, God bless the USA.

From the lakes of Minnesota,to the hills of Tennessee.
Across the plains of Texas, From sea to shining sea.

From Detroit down to Houston, and New York to L.A.
Well there’s pride in every American heart, and its time we stand and say.

That I’m proud to be an American, where at least I know I’m free.
And I wont forget the men who died, who gave that right to me.

And I gladly stand up, next to you and defend her still today.
‘Cause there ain’t no doubt I love this land, God bless the USA.

And I’m proud to be and American, where at least I know I’m free.
And I wont forget the men who died, who gave that right to me.

And I gladly stand up, next to you and defend her still today.
‘Cause there ain’t no doubt I love this land, God bless the USA.

Yes, I see it now. Something like being proud of where you live and being free is so much more confusingly complex than understanding all the emotions and feelings that come into play when you break up with your first love.

You see that, too, right?

[Sarcasm off]

Am I just too old to understand the issues Principal Hawkins and the NY DOE see?

Or is this just another example of liberal idiocy and bias in a public school system?

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Congratulations to this week’s Comment Contest winner – Connie.

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I don’t know if it’s political correctness gone wild or or some sort of power trip or just downright, plain stupidity that’s infecting schools across America, but whatever it is, it’s getting worse.

A South Carolina mother was arrested for cheering too loudly as her daughter’s name was announced and she received her high school diploma. And in Ohio, a senior was actually denied his diploma by school officials and “sentenced” by said officials to 20 hours community service before he can get the diploma, not for anything he did, but because his family and supporters gave him a rousing reception.

South Carolina mom arrested for cheering too loudly at daughter’s graduation
Police say they warned parents they would be kicked out if they got loud

South Carolina mom Shannon Cooper, who was accused of whooping so loudly during her daughter’s high school graduation Saturday night that cops charged her with disorderly conduct and placed her in a detention center.

Beach balls and bullhorns are commonly banned from graduation ceremonies, but some schools also want to silence the screaming — going so far as to have overzealous audience members arrested.

That’s what reportedly happened to South Carolina mom Shannon Cooper, who was accused of whooping so loudly during her daughter’s high school graduation Saturday night that cops charged her with disorderly conduct and placed her in a detention center.

Click Here to read the rest of the story.

What, exactly, are these idiots afraid of? That some kid might feel bad because her mom only clapped instead of cheering? That his delicate self-esteem might be irrevocably damaged by someone else’s graduation being celebrated more enthusiastically than his?

I don’t care how loud a proud mother cheers for her daughter or how much noise a family makes as their son walks across the stage. Such goings on used to be part of the rite of passage kids worked and studied for. But now, being wildly happy for your child in South Carolina is a crime and in Ohio, it’s an offense serious enough to deny him or her a diploma.

If these edu-dopes can’t stand loud cheering, let them buy ear plugs. Better yet, let them find another job.

I really believe public schools have outlived their usefulness. Far too many seem to have been converted to indoctrination camps ruled by rigid authoritarians without a milligram of compassion or common sense. Not only do they fail to truly educate their charges, now they treat them and their taxpaying families like criminals.

It’s insane. And we continue to put up with it.

Why?

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Comments welcome.
Which are your favorites?
Enjoy!

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I apologize for stealing all the following for today’s blog post, but I simply could not have said it any better.

First, the story…

Drug Testing Policy Approved by School Committee
The committee approved the policy as a way to promote student wellness.

If a student at Westborough Public Schools is suspected of being drunk or high on drugs at school, officials may have that student submit to an alcohol breath and/or saliva testing or face disciplinary action. That is a new policy approved by the Westborough School Committee as part of the Westborough Schools Chemical Health Policy.

“We believe that the most effective deterrent to alcohol/drug use is openness and communication among students, parents and the school community, which corresponds with the attitudes and beliefs promoted in our school wellness programs and curriculum,” the policy states. “This collaborative effort is intended to enhance all aspects of school life in order to develop healthy, productive and high-achieving students.”

If the result of testing indicates that a student has consumed drugs or alcohol, school officials will release the student to the custody of a guardian and a meeting will be scheduled with school officials to discuss the findings.

If the testing is negative, the student’s guardian will be contacted by phone and informed of the testing.

If the student refuses to participate in the testing, the student’s guardian will be contacted and informed that the student may be subject to school disciplinary consequences based on an administrator’s determination that the student was under the influence of either drugs or alcohol.

Now the commentary by my favorite talk show host, Michael Graham…

MA School Bureaucrats Will Be Drug-Testing Your Kids Without Your Permission

And you’ll LIKE it!

After all, who are you? Just a parent? Who the hell cares what you think about how your children are treated.

The policy will work like this:

1. Trusted, competent, merit-pay-earning school employee will determine that your son “appears impaired.”
2. Your son will be told “We’re going to drug-test you, you trouble-making punk! Open your mouth and say ‘ah.’”
3. Your son’s mouth will be swabbed and his saliva will be subjected to a drug screening.
4. School bureaucrats will use the 100% reliable, never-a-false-positive tech and its instantly-delivered results—in a school, administered by amateurs—to determine your son is guilty.
5. They will kick him out of school.
6. If your young hellion of a son starts squawking about “privacy” or having some sort of “rights,” these helpful, understanding bureaucrats will call you and make threats about kicking your son out of school, anyway.
7. If you don’t cave in and get your son to submit to this testing scheme, then an administrator will simply decide if he/she thinks your son “seems” impaired.

All of this at a public school that you are required to send your son to under penalty of law, run by people you pay out of your own taxes.

If this seems sane to you, please go immediately to your nearest public school. And request a drug test.

Because you must be high.

As I said, I could not have said it better.

Has it occurred to anyone else, yet, that the United States has become big old pot of water on the stove, and all of us “regular folks” who just want to be left alone are the frogs?

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In a story out of Florida, a middle school teacher resigned rather than endure a five-day unpaid suspension or a hearing,  after telling a student her clothes showed too much cleavage.

Teacher quits after comment about student’s cleavage

A Eustis Middle School teacher resigned after she made a comment about a student’s cleavage in front of the classroom.

Joan Bannister, a 53-year-old math teacher, drew attention to the girl’s cleavage and said she would be out of dress code if the girl were measured, according to a memo from Lake County Schools. The girl filed a complaint saying that on Jan. 30 Bannister approached her with a ruler and said the math teacher wanted to measure her exposed “boobage.”

NOT the girl in the story, but you get the idea.

In the memo, Bannister denied ever using the word “boobage” but admitted to having a conversation with the girl about her being out of compliance with the dress code. She said she never touched the girl, but “could have handled the situation better,” according to the memo.

The district recommended her a five-day unpaid suspension that she never served because she requested a hearing. Bannister resigned in lieu of the hearing, which was scheduled for Monday.

District spokesman Chris Patton said the district will be forwarding the complaint to the state Office of Professional Practices that oversees teacher discipline.

According to the state’s educator code of ethics, Bannister should not have intentionally exposed any student to embarrassment or disparagement.

“I think it’s an unfortunate incident, and I hope the investigation brings it to a close,” Patton said.

That second-to-last paragraph is the one that says it all for me:

According to the state’s educator code of ethics, Bannister should not have intentionally exposed any student to embarrassment or disparagement.

I say, why the hell not. If the girl was dressed that inappropriately, she clearly did so on purpose, to call attention to herself. Why shouldn’t she be called on it, in class, and serve as an example of what others can expect if they, too, break the rules.

The reason the girl felt she could dress inappropriately in the first place probably has much to do with the absurd amount of coddling of our children that seems to be becoming the norm. Who cares if they learn anything in school as long as they don’t feel bad about acting bad.

It all seems pretty simple to me. If you don’t enforce a dress code, you don’t really have one. The girl figured that out. The teacher didn’t.

Joan Bannister will likely be replaced by a teacher who knows her real job is to shut up and not make waves. And the staff can again rest safe with the knowledge that all the little cupcakes in the school will graduate with their inflated, undeserved self-esteem intact.

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Congratulations to this week’s Comment Contest winner – Keith Hodges.

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PC student tests forbid dance, dinos & lots more

In a bizarre case of political correctness run wild, educrats have banned references to “dinosaurs,” “birthdays,” “Halloween” and dozens of other topics on city-issued tests.

That’s because they fear such topics “could evoke unpleasant emotions in the students.”

Dinosaurs, for example, call to mind evolution, which might upset fundamentalists; birthdays aren’t celebrated by Jehovah’s Witnesses; and Halloween suggests paganism.

Even “dancing’’ is taboo, because some sects object. But the city did make an exception for ballet.

The forbidden topics were recently spelled out in a request for proposals provided to companies competing to revamp city English, math, science and social-studies tests given several times a year to measure student progress.

“Some of these topics may be perfectly acceptable in other contexts but do not belong in a city- or state-wide assessment,” the request reads.

Click Here to read the rest of the story.

What were they thinking — or were they thinking — when they banned these common words because they might make some kids feel bad?

And if feeling bad is the new standard, why not ban ice cream so kids who can’t afford the stuff won’t upset themselves with fits of jealousy? Might as well ban baseball game and other sports references since poor kids likely can’t afford the ticket prices. Cars, trucks, vacations…the list of things some kids can’t afford or some people object to is endless so where does this lunacy end?

For that matter, why not ban the tests? After all, tests always make some kids feel bad after taking, and failing them.

Feeling bad sometimes is part of life. Seeing other people with things you can’t afford is a part of life. Ideas you may not believe in, like evolution and paganism, are a part of life. How are children going to learn how to deal with or just ignore such things if they are not exposed to them as a matter of course as they grow and learn?

Sheltering kids from reality does them no service. It only creates teens and adults who are ill prepared to deal with reality when it smacks them in the face one day.

Meanwhile, all around the world, children, in school and out, are not being coddled and protected from feeling bad. In many places, they are actively made to feel bad when they do not perform up to standards. Could that be part of the reason American school children rank so poorly in everything but self-esteem when compared with their counterparts in other developed nations?

What do you think about this?

Should kids be coddled and sheltered in school? Or should school be preparing them for what they will face when they graduate one day?

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