I’ve told you before that a longtime friend of this blog is dying. Cancer. And the disease is taking its own long, harrowing time. When I’ve etalked with him, he’s seemed in good spirits, though tired. It’s much harder on his wife, he says. And in my few contacts with her, I see.
Yesterday she sent me the following and gave permission to post it. The following words are hers:
I have been introspective for the past few days. I am rambling here so please forgive me. F. and I have spent a good part of our youth preparing for the future. We worked hard and saved money to insure financial security, we learned how to hunt, grow food, defend ourselves, basic first aid, make wine, soap, and many other necessary skills to be able to survive if our world as we knew it, should come crashing down.
Illness and death of a partner was one skill too hard to imagine, so we had no plan. And here we are. Over the course of two years now, I have watched a healthy, strong man grow old. I have had my heart broken a few times in my life when I thought my world was ending. Watching my life partner die is the worst pain I have ever had. My plan had always been to die first, and I did all the wrong things healthwise to ensure that. Well, the universe had other plans and here we are.
I love how my friends and family tell me to be strong. “YOU can do this” “You are a strong women.” Well I don’t want to be strong. I just want to curl up next to my man and have him hold me. One more time. That’s not going to happen.
So here’s my message. NEVER take someone you love for granted. ALWAYS tell them you love them. And show it.