I’ve been trying to get to the last two of those Amazon Christmas list columns. Then jed sent along “Dave Barry’s Gift Guide.”
Sort of a hard act to follow, especially when you’re peddling something.
Barry begins by telling us the real “reason for the season” (not what you think) and goes on to such gem gift recommendations as the Perfect Polly. Apparently a battery-operated talking plastic Chinese parrot. Or something. In each case, Barry waxes ecstatic … er. Well, waxes.
A sample: “Maybe some day we could replace the entire U.S. Congress with battery-operated plastic senators and representatives. Come to think of it, we could replace Congress right now with 535 Perfect Pollys.”
I’ll post my next Amazon list (animal lovers’) after giving you sufficient time to recover from Mr. Barry.
That is, that other Prohibition ended 80 years ago with the ratification of the 21st Amendment.
In dubious honor of the current, much worse, and much longer, prohibition, it’s time to revisit that still-too-true olden-days bit of wit by Franklin P. Adams:
We like it.
It can’t stop what it’s meant to stop.
We like it.
It’s left a trail of graft and slime,
It don’t prohibit worth a dime,
It’s filled our land with vice and crime.
Nevertheless, we’re for it.
The poem itself was written in equally dubious honor of the wussy work of the Wickersham Commission.
Just FYI: JPFO’s latest gun raffle is for two uber-cool 1911s, engraved for JPFO’s 25th anniversary. Yep, the great Jews for the Preservation of Firearms Ownership will be 25 years old in 2014.
These guns are the only ones like this that will ever be produced.
Tix are just $10 apiece or $25 for three and no more than 1,000 will be sold. (ADDED) And there will be TWO winners, one gun to each. (Or one very lucky person with multiple tickets could win both.)
We’re nearing the end of the raffle now. Must buy by the end of this month! Today is good if you think you might forget. :-)
Raffle is being conducted by “an Arizona charity” with all benefits going to one of the greatest no-compromise educational groups in the land.
Been deadlining this week and it doesn’t stop. Thinking of you all, though.
- Big Second-Amendment guy, Alan Korwin, is making news with a big First-Amendment case.
- You can always count on the FBI … to be just 61% accurate in its mass-homicide stats. Heck, they could save taxpayers’ money by using random chance. Oh. Maybe they did.
- “By threatening their lives as well as their budgets, Obama has created a huge class of losers, who statistically overrun the small class of winners and outweigh them in savvy…”
- Millennials. Fed up with Obama, Obamacare and government. Nice trend.
- But some of them are still selling Obamacare door-to-door. In a strictly “non-partisan” way, of course.
- Twelve survival schools that USA Today thinks could save your life. YMMV.
- “Rolling Jubilee.” Do-gooding done well.
- They see you when you’re sleeping. They know when you’re awake. They They know just where your cellphone is. So …
BTW. Still working on the candle-heater experiment. First trial was a spectacular bust and deadlines have prevented me from getting back to it. Hoping to try again this weekend.
Since I’ve done my share of ripping into thug cops, it always seems fair to give the better ones a tip o’ the hat. And this tale — from a freedomista’s wary daughter — is pretty cute.
Her dad writes:
So my daughter S. moved away from home at the beginning of November. She graduated from a medical arts program in June, and Florida seemed like a good place to be. My mother-in-law lives there in a [huge community almost entirely made up of seniors].
We packed up the car and my wife took S. to FL to stay with her mom to help her out and until she gets set up on her own.
Mom is getting up there, and her health isn’t that of a youngster anymore. Her daughters all live far away, and most of her friends have passed. But 3 yrs ago at 85 she dumped her 75-year-old boyfriend and bought a house for the first time on her own. She’s fiercely independent, and even though her health is declining she will not accept any outside hired help. The only real “service” she has is a morning phone check-in with the county sheriff’s dept. elder unit.
Unfortunately, mom found herself in the hospital on Thanksgiving morning. She had been there a week. But Thanksgiving morning at 9am, the phone rang at her house with the call from the sheriff’s office. They were making holiday dinner and were inviting all the people on their check-in lists. S. explained that Mom was still in the hospital but could get out for the day, and gave them Mom’s direct number at the hospital so they could invite her to their dinner.
S. thought this was the end of the story.
At about 2 o’clock, S. is trying to decide what to eat before she goes to the hospital to visit, and there’s a knock at the door. She looks through the blinds and sees there’s a sheriff’s officer standing on the stoop. Raised the way she was, she’s automatically suspicious. What could they possibly want? She opens the door a crack to say hi and find out what’s going on, and she sees a big box in the sheriff’s hands. “Hello, I’m Sheriff Soandso. Your grandma told us you were here all alone on your first holiday away from home, and she was worried about you being all alone, worried that you wouldn’t eat, etc. So I brought a full Thanksgiving dinner in this box for you. There’s turkey, stuffing, ham, taters, veggies, gravy, everything. Oops, Sorry, everything but pie. The oldsters ate all the pie”
She was floored. She called the next day to say “Dad, I’ve been around enough to see the sheriffs serve papers, serve subpoenas, and even serve search warrants, but I never thought I’d ever see the day when a sheriff came to the house to serve me dinner! And Dad, it was even good!”
I’m going to try these. This week.
The simple one. With tea lights.
The slightly more complicated one. With one candle and metal.
Anybody hereabouts done anything like these?
Will report further after I hit the hardware store — assuming they still have flower pots hiding in the back room after having stuck all those Christmas ornaments in the flowerpots’ usual place.
- “Eh … they’re just people.” Drug warriors and cancer patients. (H/T Anon.)
- Not a big threat at this point, but a new virus targets “the Internet of things.” Which also means it’s targeting Linux. (H/T H)
- Quick! Somebody appoint Jim Rogers to head the Fed! (H/T JB)
- Wealth and inequality. No matter what your politics (or lack thereof), these charts are alarming. This is not what a healthy country looks like. The comparisons of perception-ideal-reality are fascinating, though.
- Protecting us against depressed paraplegic Canadians. And doing it in the creepiest possible way.
- “The congregation was besides themselves.” Ungrammatical but quite pointed in this allegedly charitable season. Carl Bussjaeger, who pointed me to the article, adds a story of his own.
- Ah, but if you think churchfolk can be uncharitable, you ain’t seen nothin’ until you encounter a city ordinance.
In our continuing Amazon holiday shopping (and shameless promotion) blogs …
It’s Cyber Monday Deals Week all this week (Starting today) at Amazon.
Also now through December 31, Amazon is having deals on all manner of other electronic devices. For example: