How many (________) does it take to
screw in a light bulb?
Auto mechanics —
Two. One to screw in the wrong-sized bulb and one to replace the burned-out socket.
Nuclear engineers —
Seven. One to install the new bulb; and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next ten thousand years.
Four. One to screw in the bulb and three to share the experience.
Six. One to screw in the bulb, and five more to chase off the Californians who have come up to share the experience.
New Yorkers —
None of your damn business.
Christian Scientists —
One. To sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
Three. One to call the cleaning woman and two to feel guilty about calling the cleaning woman.
Jewish mothers —
None. No, it’s okay, I’ll sit in the dark.
Zen Masters —
Two. One to screw in the bulb and one not to screw in the bulb.
Fifteen. You got a problem with that?
Country singers —
Four. One to screw it in and three to write about the old one.
Women with PMS —
24 … Why 24? … It just does, dammit!!
That’s not funny!
— Submitted by Robert Bateman