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Living Freedom by Claire Wolfe. Musings about personal freedom and finding it within ourselves.

Want to Comment on a blog post? Look for and click on the blue No Comments or # Comments at the end of each post.



Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category

Claire Wolfe

Monday links

Monday, July 21st, 2014
Claire Wolfe

Dispatch from the Future

Saturday, July 12th, 2014

Writing is wonderful therapy. Thank you, creepy hoplophobe, for inspiring my latest article at JPFO.

—–

NOTE: The following document was found in the ruins of the Mount Weather complex in the year C.E. 2715 and has been in the keeping of the staff of the Interglobal History Museum since then. Although our scholars and scientists are still analyzing this material, it is believed to date from the era of Malia Rodham-Bloomberg (reigned C.E. 2044-2067) or her successor Mitt Kennedy Bush (reigned C.E. 2067-?).

Below is our translation.

…..

REPORT TO THE NATION ON THE EFFECTIVENESS OF GUN CONTROL
By the Blue-Ribbon Panel on the Current Crisis

BACKGROUND: Following the Sunnyside Nursery School Massacre and similar disasters, Americans in the mid decades of the twenty-first century realized that “NO GUNS” signs and similarly stringent security measures were no longer sufficient to totally eliminate deadly violence from society.

Although the gun-rights movement had experienced decades of successes, Americans finally rose up and demanded sweeping reforms. Some notable pacifists called for the slaughter of all gun owners and the torture of any politicians perceived to be pro gun. Police chiefs threatened to have their officers shoot any armed person on sight. The nation was in crisis.

With Congress in its 23rd consecutive year of disarray, the president moved to calm the fury with a unilateral series of moderate but firm measures. The president issued a comprehensive series of Executive Orders targeting firearms and their owners.

It has been five years since these Orders took effect. We, the members of this impartial Blue-Ribbon Panel, are now charged with analyzing their effectiveness and making recommendations …

—–

Continue reading at JPFO.

Since the “dispatch” contains only what I was able to come up with in a few hours, feel free to make your own additions and corrections to the Blue-Ribbon report in comments.

Claire Wolfe

Midweek links

Tuesday, July 1st, 2014
  • Dog just hanging out in its own backyard. Cops canvassing neighborhood for a lost toddler (who turns out to be snoozing in his own family basement). Guess what cop does? Yeah. Again. But once again, the dog’s dad is on a take-no-prisoners quest for justice. (H/T furrydoc)
  • Okay, let’s have some better dog stories. Including this happy cop and “vicious” pit bull story via naturegirl.
  • And how about … dog returns wedding ring missing for five years.
  • New study warns against trying to cheer some folks up. Yeah, I can see that, for sure. Sometimes you just need validation and sometimes those cheery platitudes are just plain grating. Still … where comes the point where you just tell Debbie Downer to quit whining and fix her own life?
  • So former shooting hotshot and alleged historian Dick Metcalf. still hasn’t bothered to learn the meaning of the term “well-regulated.” And now the left is loving on him. (H/T RC) Bob Owens gives the useful idiot a touch of what he deserves.

Forget that. Cartoon time. Here’s one for Joel (via Never Yet Melted):

InternetRecluse

And one for all us makin’-a-livin’ arty types lost out here in Cyberland:

doonesburyartists-digital revolution_140629

(H/T Jim Bovard)

Claire Wolfe

The lighter side of keep out, go away, get lost, drop dead, and no soliciting

Sunday, June 29th, 2014

During those horrible late-teen years of not knowing what I wanted to do with my life but knowing I needed money to do it, I managed to grind my way through three weeks as a door-to-door salesthing.

My one good memory from those endless years of days was (tellingly, I suppose) a hand-made No Soliciting sign. It said:

If you’re selling something
GO AWAY.
I don’t want your magazines, your cookies, or your religion.

I was tempted to knock on the door just to tell the people how cool I thought it was. I figured I have my own someday.

Most of my life since then I’ve lived in places where few commercial peddlers and only the most determined religionists dare venture, so I’ve had no need for a No Soliciting sign on my various hermitages.

Now, however, I live where we have mobs of door-to-doorists. It’s time to take defensive measures.

« Read the rest of this entry »

Claire Wolfe

Tuesday links

Tuesday, June 10th, 2014
Claire Wolfe

Weekend links

Saturday, May 31st, 2014

Oh, now that’s just mean …

dog-food-glass-table

Claire Wolfe

Your Mencken for the Day

Thursday, May 8th, 2014

Prophesy is a dubious business. The best-regarded prophets keep things vague enough to mean anything some follower wants them to mean.

When that won’t work, there’s also the “just move on” method for handling the aftermath of more specific prophesies (which Gary North found handy after Y2K). Another fave of failed prophets is the “it actually happened just as I predicted, but nobody noticed” method recently favored by Harold Camping. (These both have multitudes of amusing variations.)

Creative editing centuries after the fact often helps to ensure the reputation of a less-than-accurate prophet.

H.L. Mencken clearly needs none of those tricks:

“As democracy is perfected, the office of the President represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. On some great and glorious day, the plain folks of the land will reach their heart’s desire at last and the White House will be occupied by a downright fool and complete narcissistic moron.”

–H.L. Mencken, the Baltimore Evening Sun, July 26, 1920

Only question is was he talking about God’s own chosen, aka Bush II, or Mr. Healing-the-Planet Obama? Or (I fear) about many even more dubious personages who’ll “lead” us to our downfall?

(H/T. J.G.)

Claire Wolfe

Monday links

Monday, May 5th, 2014
Claire Wolfe

OMG! Such a shock! Who could ever have imagined??? Internet Explorer is FLAWED !!!

Tuesday, April 29th, 2014

In light of the latest in the endless series of revelations about Internet Explorer bugs and vulnerabilities, I bring you …

Demotivational-Posters-Internet-Explorer-6

And now, being gunfolk and technoids (as so many of you are), you can all go off to the comment section and beat each other about the head and shoulders over which firearm should actually represent which browser.

But nobody will disagree on the one that best depicts IE, right?

Claire Wolfe

Weekend links

Saturday, April 26th, 2014

Finally, have a dog video:

(H/T Jeff Soyer at Alphecca.com)

Claire Wolfe

Tuesday links

Tuesday, April 15th, 2014
  • As you suffer through your taxes (or their aftermath), be of good cheer. You have much less chance of being audited than you’ve had in years.
  • Church in a wealthy community installs a “homeless Jesus” sculpture. Woman reports the bum to cops.
  • Notice to thieves: It’s not a good idea to burglarize the Pena household.
  • In many places this would not be news. In darkest blue, gun-loathing New Jersey, it’s a bigger miracle than seeing Jesus’ face in a tortilla. (H/T jw)
  • I think some school officials are going to be in trouble over this Sure hope so. (PT, who sent this, said she was reminded of Tonio Carolina from Hardyville. Yeah, me, too!)
  • Bet you didn’t know that Jim Bovard did stand-up comedy. But he pretty much did that at the New Hampshire Liberty Forum. Little rough in the first few minutes. Gets better as it goes.
Claire Wolfe

Tuesday links

Tuesday, April 8th, 2014
  • Doesn’t it just stand to reason — doesn’t it just? — that the Human Ken Doll has has nothing good to say about the Human Barbie Doll? Weird old world we live in, innit?
  • I know there’s absolutely nothing funny about a fatal mudslide, as the people of Oso, Washington, are learning to their horror. But at least there’s a certain strangely poetic justice to this mudslide in China.
  • Government priorities. I swear, anybody as witty as Tam ought to have a late-night show of her own and be getting fabulously rich and famous.
  • The homeless guy and the ATM jackpot.
  • “Stop adding up the wealth of the poor.” Y’know, when you explain it that way, I see your point.
  • A brief video tour of British accents. Hilariously well done!
 
 


 
 

 
 
 
 
 
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