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etc. - a little of this, a little of that - by Oliver Del Signore

The stooges in the White house can’t get their story straight

Friday, May 6th, 2011

What do you get when you mix a bunch of latter-day stooges with “paranoia, personality disorders, narcissism, and sociopathy”?

You get the Obama administration, which has managed to turn a major victory in the war on terror into a public relations fiasco in just a few short days.

There have been so many changes to the official stories regarding the Osama bin Laden hit, we are easily forgiven for not knowing what we’re currently supposed to believe.

When I read this New York Times piece yesterday, I started to wonder if anyone had managed to keep track of all the misstatements, corrections, and obfuscations. Someone had. His list was appropriated by someone else, which is how I found it, so I’m shamelessly re-appropriating it to reprint here.

Here is the list as of yesterday.

1) There was a firefight.

2) There was no firefight.

3) Bin Laden was “resisting.”

4) Bin Laden wasn’t armed.  (Makes the concept of “resisting” interesting.)

[4.a) And the newest one: the SEALS thought bin Laden was reaching for a weapon.]

5) He used his wife as a shield.

6) His wife was killed too.

7) He didn’t use his wife as a shield.  She ran at a SEAL who shot her in the leg, but she’s fine.

8 ) Some other woman — the maid? — was used as a shield.  By somebody.  Downstairs.

9) That other woman — downstairs — was killed.

10) Maybe not.  She was killed unless she wasn’t — and who was she, anyway?

11) Bin Laden’s son was killed.

12) Unless it was some other guy.

13) Bin Laden’s daughter saw him get killed.  She’s undoubtedly traumatized, poor dear.

14) They were going to capture Bin Laden until the problem with the helicopter, which was:

A) It had mechanical trouble
B) It did a hard landing
C) It crashed
D) It clipped a wall with a tail rotor, effectively a crash

15.) They were never going to try to capture him; it was always a kill mission.

16.) No, it wasn’t.

17) The chopper blew up.

18) The SEALs blew it up.

19.) Panetta said yesterday the world needed proof and the photo would be released.

20.) Obama said today in an interview he taped with Steve Kroft for “60 Minutes” to be broadcast Sunday that it won’t be released.  It’s too gruesome, would offend Muslim sensibilities (something he worries about a lot — I personally do not give a warm fart on a wet Wednesday about Muslim sensibilities), and how would Americans feel if Muslims released pictures of dead Americans?

21.) Kroft — who’s not a total idiot — pointed out that ever since “Black Hawk Down” days, Muslims have been doing precisely that, filming American bodies being dragged through the streets, filming Daniel Pearl’s head being cut off, filming any and everything.

22) Obama gets pissed at CBS, the tape gets cleaned up, that question disappears. (Inside info.)

23.) We got a “treasure trove” of stuff from hard drives, etc.

24.) There were no phone lines, and no internet access at the “mansion,” they didn’t even have TV — what “treasure trove?”

25.) There is obviously in the pictures of the place a large satellite dish.  I guess they used it for making salads.

26.) And now, just today: apparently the idea was to capture him, but only if he was naked.  There was a suspicion he might be wearing a suicide bomber type explosive vest, or belt.  So if he’s not naked and you can’t see if he has a vest on or not – shoot him.

The idiot Carney — they actually managed to find someone who makes Gibbs look good — is currently twisting himself into knots trying to explain why the photograph that the whole world was expecting isn’t going to be released.  (Obviously the thing to do is get Trump on the case, he’ll force Obama to release it.)

The military did great, the administration — or whatever that bunch is, kind of like “The Little Rascals” — have managed to turn it into spaghetti.  The story has changed so many times in the course of a mere three days it’s a joke — the world would be better off if Panetta had left the little shitwit on the golf course.

At the rate the Obots are changing the stories, this list may be hopelessly out of date by the time you’re reading it, so, if you’ve heard of any further additions or revisions, please leave a comment to let us all know.


In a related story, it appears Pakistan, where bin Laden had been “hiding out” in that big compound, has its own stooges.

The head of Pakistan’s army, Gen. Ashfaq Parvez Kayani, said Thursday that he would not tolerate a repeat of the American covert operation that killed Osama bin Laden, warning that any similar action would lead to a reconsideration of the relationship with the United States.

In his first public reaction to the American raid early Monday that left many Pakistanis questioning the capacities of the nation’s army, General Kayani did not appear in person, choosing instead to convey his angry message through a statement by his press office and in a closed meeting with Pakistani reporters.

The statement by the army’s press office said, “Any similar action violating the sovereignty of Pakistan will warrant a review on the level of military/intelligence cooperation with the United States.”

Read the rest of the story.

Sorry if American efficiency exposed your own incompetence, general. You can throw a hissy fit if you want to, but even your own people are wondering how your army could have allowed bin Laden to live openly in your country.

If you want to be taken seriously by the big boys, general, you really have to start behaving like one.

8 Responses to “The stooges in the White house can’t get their story straight”

  1. Fred Says:

    Actually I think the Obama administration is doing a masterful job with the bin Laden story. They have just about everyone obsessing over what really happened, to the exclusion of everything else. The country is polarized into believers and skeptics who are very noisily excoriating each other. While all this noise and bickering is going on we are not paying attention to whatever it is the government is doing that they would rather we didn’t notice.

    Nothing anyone says or does is going to have any useful effect on what happened in Pakistan that night. We would all like to know what happened but we never will know with any reasonable confidence. The truth at this point is unknowable. Time to widen our tunnel vision.

    Distraction is a useful technique and the administration is doing a great job with it. And we are letting them.

  2. Desertrat Says:

    Sorry, but I find it difficult to care much as to exactly what happened. There is still a surplus of Jihadists who would just as soon kill an infidel as seduce a camel.

    Every time I think this administration has hit a new low for incompetence, I find that I have been notably optimistic. They have yet to find the depth they cannot plumb…

  3. TheNumberSix Says:

    This is somewhat like having 3 children trying to escape blame for something they did. Are there any professional people in this administration?


  4. lone Eagle Says:

    All I can say is The Three Stooges could do a better job in the White House than the current residents and the rest of ‘dem fools in the District of Corruption! Nyuk, Nyuk, Nyuk! O is it Nuyk, Nuyk, Nuyk! Can do iy but just don’t know how to spell it.

  5. Bill W Says:

    O’ Bungle and his merry band of Keystone Kops have turned the aftermath of a precise military operation into a rolling comedy of errors. That’s what happens when you attempt to wag the dog for personal political gain.
    I’m seeing chatter on the internet that Mr O’Bungle was on ANOTHER golf outing and had the “Gutsy Call” made for him. He was dragged into the Situation Room and then told what was occurring. In addition, during the decision meetings leading up to the initiation of this operation our President continually voted “Present” not leading but sitting and watching.

  6. Blue_Sky Says:

    Get real. The administration did a great job with this mission and I am very proud of our military. It seems like you just have to have something to whine about. Give them credit for doing a great job and get over all the sillyness. Details change as debriefing of participants occur and that is just a fact. Your article is an embarassment.

  7. jay c Says:

    Blue sky, the last month has shown this administration to be either brilliant actors who don’t mind looking like complete idiots for the sake of the show or actual, complete morons.

  8. Jim Ed Says:

    I have to agree with Blue Sky on this one. Typical of our President’s enemies to take our greatest victory and spin it into a bumbling defeat. We should be proud and united at a moment like this. For once, let’s put partisan politics aside. We’ll have plenty of other things to disagree about in the future.



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