A fourth-grade class was studying the development of the auto industry. The teacher had emphasized the role played by Henry Ford, whose assembly lines decreased production costs.

At the end of the course, she gave a test including the question: “What did Henry Ford invent that made buying a car more affordable?”

One of the students wrote: “0% financing.”

I was evicted from my ranch today due to bankruptcy.

I put up a good fight, but in the end I was deranged.

I was at the store late the other night. When it was time to pay for groceries, the cashier said, “Strip down, facing me.” Making a mental note to complain to my congressman about Homeland Security going too far, I did just as instructed. When the shrieking and alarms finally subsided, I learned that the cashier was referring to my credit card.

Amused at the woman’s thrift, the editor says, “Sorry ma’am but there’s a seven-word minimum on all obituaries.”

A little flustered, she thinks things over and replies, “In that case, let it read: ‘Billy Bob died – red truck for sale.'”