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etc. - a little of this, a little of that - by Oliver Del Signore

Archive for April 28th, 2012


Open your mouth and say “Ahhh” kid, or else

Saturday, April 28th, 2012

I apologize for stealing all the following for today’s blog post, but I simply could not have said it any better.

First, the story…

Drug Testing Policy Approved by School Committee
The committee approved the policy as a way to promote student wellness.

If a student at Westborough Public Schools is suspected of being drunk or high on drugs at school, officials may have that student submit to an alcohol breath and/or saliva testing or face disciplinary action. That is a new policy approved by the Westborough School Committee as part of the Westborough Schools Chemical Health Policy.

“We believe that the most effective deterrent to alcohol/drug use is openness and communication among students, parents and the school community, which corresponds with the attitudes and beliefs promoted in our school wellness programs and curriculum,” the policy states. “This collaborative effort is intended to enhance all aspects of school life in order to develop healthy, productive and high-achieving students.”

If the result of testing indicates that a student has consumed drugs or alcohol, school officials will release the student to the custody of a guardian and a meeting will be scheduled with school officials to discuss the findings.

If the testing is negative, the student’s guardian will be contacted by phone and informed of the testing.

If the student refuses to participate in the testing, the student’s guardian will be contacted and informed that the student may be subject to school disciplinary consequences based on an administrator’s determination that the student was under the influence of either drugs or alcohol.

Now the commentary by my favorite talk show host, Michael Graham…

MA School Bureaucrats Will Be Drug-Testing Your Kids Without Your Permission

And you’ll LIKE it!

After all, who are you? Just a parent? Who the hell cares what you think about how your children are treated.

The policy will work like this:

  1. Trusted, competent, merit-pay-earning school employee will determine that your son “appears impaired.”
  2. Your son will be told “We’re going to drug-test you, you trouble-making punk! Open your mouth and say ‘ah.’”
  3. Your son’s mouth will be swabbed and his saliva will be subjected to a drug screening.
  4. School bureaucrats will use the 100% reliable, never-a-false-positive tech and its instantly-delivered results—in a school, administered by amateurs—to determine your son is guilty.
  5. They will kick him out of school.
  6. If your young hellion of a son starts squawking about “privacy” or having some sort of “rights,” these helpful, understanding bureaucrats will call you and make threats about kicking your son out of school, anyway.
  7. If you don’t cave in and get your son to submit to this testing scheme, then an administrator will simply decide if he/she thinks your son “seems” impaired.

All of this at a public school that you are required to send your son to under penalty of law, run by people you pay out of your own taxes.

If this seems sane to you, please go immediately to your nearest public school. And request a drug test.

Because you must be high.

As I said, I could not have said it better.

Has it occurred to anyone else, yet, that the United States has become big old pot of water on the stove, and all of us “regular folks” who just want to be left alone are the frogs?



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