Puns for twisted minds
The fattest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference,
He acquired his size from too much pi.
I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.
No matter how much you push the envelope, it will still be stationery.
A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, “You stay here; I’ll go on a head.”
I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
A backward poet writes inverse.
The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you’d be in Seine.
In a democracy, it’s your vote that counts. In feudalism, it’s your count that votes.